JokoJokes

Study Jokes

141 study jokes and hilarious study puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about study that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Study Short Jokes

Short study jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The study humour may include short research jokes also.

  1. Studies show that atheists are more likely to own cats than Christians. Because owning Christians isn't legal, obviously.
  2. A new study shows that unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic Because they are more likely to be dead.
  3. A German joke from 1944 How do you tell an Optimist German from a Pessimist German? The Optimist studies English, while the Pessimist studies Russian.
  4. Accordion to scientific studies, 90% .. of people do not realise I replaced the beginning of this joke with a musical instrument.
  5. Studies say most stabbings are committed by someone close to the victim. Within arm's length, to be specific.
  6. Birthdays are good for your health Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.
  7. A new study shows that the majority of humans alive today are better at math than Albert Einstein. Because he's dead.
  8. I just realized that never is a contraction of 'not ever'. And blush is a contraction of 'blood rush'.
    And studying is a contraction of 'student dying'.
  9. Don't drink water while studying... Why?
    Because chemistry says that concentration decreases while adding water.
    Note: My first attempt. Thanks.
  10. "Why is there a Women's Studies Major, but not a Men's Studies Major" "There is a Men's Studies major, its called history"

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Study One Liners

Which study one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with study? I can suggest the ones about exam and practice.

  1. What math classes do gender studies majors take? Triggernometry
  2. Why don't Jewish girls study on their period? Concentration Cramps
  3. Nothing is better than studying That's why i do nothing.
  4. What's the singular of "Women's Studies?" Study abroad.
  5. Studies show "not jokes" are coming back and are likely to be funnier than ever. Not.
  6. What do you call the formal study of pasta? Linguinistics.
    I'll show myself out.
  7. Studying History makes you numb but studying mathematics makes you number.
  8. Fun prank Make them study for 18 years then don't give them jobs
  9. What's more useless than a Gender Studies degree? the feminist holding it
  10. What do you call a person who studies the color blue? A cyantologist.
  11. Why is studying statistics hard to do in Afghanistan? because of the tally-ban
  12. According to a new study.. ...6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.
  13. Wife and I met while studying to be opthalmologists. We were eye school sweethearts.
  14. A recent study revealed that diarrhea is genetic... .....It runs in the genes.
  15. I studied 10 pages of a dictionary I learnt next to nothing

Recent Study Jokes

Here is a list of funny recent study jokes and even better recent study puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Who is cheating? A recent study showed that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are cheating.
    • ⁠
    Now I've just got to figure out if it's my girlfriend or my wife.
  • A recent study shows that 9 out of 10 people addicted to brake fluid... ...just can't stop.
  • A recent study revealed that 85% of all Japanese men have cataracts. The rest drive Rincons and Chevrorays.
  • There was a recent study that tried to pinpoint the effect that alcohol had on walking… The result was staggering…
  • A new study of dolphins was recently performed... The study showed that within a few weeks in captivity, they were able to teach humans to stand at the edge of their pool and throw fish at them.
  • Recent studies have shown that 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy
  • Go to health A recent study shows that women who carry a few extra pounds tend to live longer than men who mention it.
  • A recent study was released on head lice stating that 95% of lice populations are resistant to treatment. Scientists are scratching their heads trying to figure out how this happened.
  • A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer ... than the men who mention it.
  • A recent police study found that.. you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

Study Abroad Jokes

Here is a list of funny study abroad jokes and even better study abroad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the student go to a brothel? He was told to study abroad
  • I started studying abroad today... ... The first thing I learned is that they don't like being called broads.
  • I've been considering studying abroad... ...but I'm afraid she might notice.
  • I've been studying abroad for a few months now I think I'm gonna finally ask her out
  • I studied abroad the first semester of my junior year Then she closed her blinds
  • I finally graduated as an expert in female biology I studied abroad or two
  • My sister-in-law said her friend was studying abroad... My brother quickly replied, "what's her name?"
  • I'm studying abroad. I learn so much from her.
  • I met my first girlfriend while studying abroad I learned a lot from her
  • I was studying abroad in the Middle East, when a flock of seagulls attacked Iran so far away.. 'Couldn't get away
Study joke, I was studying abroad in the Middle East, when a flock of seagulls attacked

Bible Study Jokes

Here is a list of funny bible study jokes and even better bible study puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do old people start reading the bible more often? They are studying for their final exam.
  • What do you call a bookclub that's been stuck on the same book for years? Bible studies!
  • I guess my girlfriend doesn't like it when I use too many abbreviations. She got pretty mad at me today for referring to her Bible Study as BS.
  • What do you call a bible study with one priest and seven church goers? Eight theists
  • Church I'm going to start a religious sect for people who love both bible study and varietals of cheddar.
    It shall be called The Church of Cheesus Christ.
  • I saw a Bible study once. It did really well on the exam.
  • I don't go to Bible Study anymore. It's all BS
  • If there was such a thing g as competitive Bible Study, would the championships be called prayoffs?
  • I study different religions. Through dedicated research, I found one similarity that the Bible, Quran, Torah, and even the Book of m**... all share. They are all equally flammable.
  • For the first year of my time at college, I never had s**..., all because of a s**... abstinence pledge I took for a bible study class... ...the other three years, I was just unlucky.

Study Conducted Jokes

Here is a list of funny study conducted jokes and even better study conducted puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A study conducted by a group of scientists shows that women that have more than 25% body fat live longer than the men who mention it to them
  • A study conducted on representation of persons with disabilities found that blind people were 100% less likely to see themselves represented in the media
  • A recently conducted study reveals... Birthdays are good for health
    people with more birthdays were found to have lived longer
  • A recent study conducted in Germany by Professor Bernd Ottovordemgentschenfelde proves that 99.9% of people skip his name
  • A study was just conducted to see what the #1 fear in humans is The results came back, and it's cats. But something seems a little off. They've only done testing on mice so far
  • A new test was conducted to study how fat Americans are getting; the test results are as follows: 60% are deemed overweight
    30% are deemed morbidly obese
    10% ate the test
  • A scientist conducted a research on smartphone protection gear. It was an interesting case study.
  • My nephew is conducting a study of the effectiveness of hand soap in health care settings. He goes to the hospital twice a week for Dialalysis.
  • A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better s**.... Unfortunately, the study was conducted by Bill Cosby
  • New study shows women who sleep more have better s**... in average. Unfortunately the study was conducted by Bill Cosby, so the results may be a bit skewed.
Study joke, New study shows women who sleep more have better s**... in average.

Howlingly Hilarious Study Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about study you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean learn jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make study pranks.

Studying for finals is like playing Tetris

just when you seem to get the facts to fit together, all that you thought you learned disappears.

OCD

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants
in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were
looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this
disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses
the day after the ad came out.
All from the same person.

A New Study Conducted on Asians (A joke I came up with,but still not sure if a repost)

A new study conducted on Asians shows that the long held to be true stereotype is partially false. In fact, only 50% of Asians have small p**....
The other 50% are women.

There's a new study out from the Department of Education...

It shows that two thirds of Americans don't understand fractions and the other half don't care.

National Poetry Contest - Timbuktu

For the record, this is not my joke. I heard somebody tell it then found it online.
" The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a r**... from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu".
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination---Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the r**... top that, they thought. The r**... calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a-huntin went,
Met three w**... in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
The r**... won hands down!

Yokel Logic

Two country types are sitting outside a university, when a man comes out. One of them stands up, and goes over to talk to this man.
He says ''Ello there, son. You look loike one of them clever university toipes. What is it that you're studyin' then?'
The man, slightly stunned, says, 'I study Mathematics, Physics and Logic'
The country dude says 'Oo- arr, logic, what's that then?'
The Student replies, 'I could teach you it.'
'Okay then.'
'So', says the student, 'you look like a country type. I'm going to guess that you have a tractor?'
'Yep'
'And if you have a tractor, then surely you have... a yard, to keep your tractor in?'
'Arr'
'So in turn, surely you have a house next to that yard?'
'Wow, incredible, go on!'
'And taking care of that big house must be awfully hard on your own- so you must have a wife to help out with it?'
'Moi god...'
'And because you live with your wife, I'm going to conclude that you're a heterosexual!'
'Oh lord...' says the farmer. 'How did you know all that?'
'That's logic, my friend', says the student, and he walks off with a cheerful wave.
The yokel runs over to his friend to show off his newfound learnings.
''Ere, Oi've got somethin' to show ya! It's called 'Logic'', he shouts.
'Alroight then', says the friend
'So, do you have a tract'r?'
'No'
'Then you're Gay!'

A gorgeous student walks into her professor's office...

She says "Professor I'm really struggling in your class."
He say's "Ok it's good you're here then, what can I help you with?"
"Well I don't quite understand the material but honestly, I would do anything to pass."
"Anything?" He asks.
She leans in close and softly says "Anything."
He leans in closer, almost whispering as he asks:
"Would you, study?"

Importance of Planning

Why planning is important?
One night four college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.
See below for the question paper.
Q.1. Your Name…….. ………
(2 MARKS)
Q.2. Which tyre burst?
(98 MARKS)
a) Front left
b) Front right
c) Back left
d) Back right

My mom: Asians are some of the safest people in the world...

Me: There are asian gangs too
My mom: And they're called study groups!

A recent study shows that m**... twice weekly increases life expectancy by 20%. I've done the maths. I am immortal.

Recent study has revealed that m**... might help curing the common cold.

Well I hope it is true because I haven't got any more tissues left..

I just made this one up so cut me some slack...

A man and his wife are at the beach and she catches him staring at a beautiful woman. Predictably she gets mad at him.
Man: Honey, you know I only have eyes for you!
Wife: Then why are you ogling that woman over there?
Man: My dear, I assure you it doesn't mean anything. It is purely for educational purposes.
Wife: What do you mean?
Man: I've always wanted to study a broad!
(I'm sorry)

A teenager had just passed his drivers test, and he asked his dad to buy him a car

"Dad, will you be able to get me a car?" Asked the boy
"I suppose a car would be in order *if* you can raise your grades from C's to B's, you study your Bible, and cut your hair." Replied the father.
After contemplating for many hours, the boy decided it was a good and fair compromise. Six weeks later, the father is astonished. His son was excelling in school, he studied his Bible every day, but his hair was still long and shaggy.
"I am very impressed with you" said the father "you are passing all of your classes, and you read the Bible every day. But why wont you cut your hair?"
"After reading the Bible, I have noticed something." Said the boy "Moses, Samson, and Absalom all had long hair. There is even evidence that *Jesus* may have had long hair!"
The father replied back "Did you also notice how they had to walk everywhere too?"

A guy asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?

The girl replied with a loud voice: "NO! I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" All the students in the library started looking at the guy; he was pretty embarrassed. After a while the girl walked quietly over to the guy's table and said: "I study psychology, I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right? The guy then responded with a loud voice: $1000 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S TOO MUCH! All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock. The guy whispered "I guess you felt bad for what you did earlier, right? I study law; I know how to make someone feel guilty.

A new study has found that Donald Trump supporters make the most grammatical errors.

They tried to find Hillary supporters errors as well, but they got deleted.

My grades are telling me to be a trophy wife but my looks are telling me to study harder.

What does a confused student at Hogwarts study?

Which craft?

A beautiful woman walks into her professor's office

Woman: "I really need to get an A in this course. What can I do to get an A?"
Professor: "Is getting an A really that important?"
Woman (seductively): "Yes, I would do anything to get an A".
Professor: "Anything?"
Woman (seductively): "Yes, anything."
Professor: "Would you study?"

Study reveals 20% of men kiss wife goodbye when they leave the house. 80% of men kiss house goodbye when they leave their wife.

Conclusion. Want to keep your house, start kissing your wife.

A teenager got his driver's license...

...and asked his father, who was a minister, if he could use his car.
The father said, "If you bring your grades up, study the Bible, and get a haircut, then you can use the car."
One month later, the teenager asked his father about using the car again. The father said, "Son, I'm proud of you. You have brought your grades up and studied the Bible every day. But you still haven't gotten a haircut!"
His son said, "Dad, in my studying of the Bible, I found that many great people had long hair. Samson had long hair. Moses, Noah, and John the Baptist had long hair. Even Jesus had long hair."
His father said, "Yes, and they walked everywhere they went!"

NEW study shows that Birthdays are good for your health

Statistics show that people who have more birthdays, live the longest!

A recent study showed that 93% of the people in Detroit have had shower s**...

The other 7% have not been to jail.

You know what would be a hilarious prank?

Make people study for 18 years and dont give them a job.

Organic chemistry is difficult

Those who study it have alkynes of trouble

The FBI made a big m**... bust recently.

The took the approximately 2 tons of w**... to a landfill and had it incinerated. However, the EPA stepped in and showed concern for the multitude of seagulls flying overhead. You know what their study discovered? That there was no tern left unstoned.

Study shows that people eat more bananas than monkeys

I don't even remember the last time I ate a monkey!

Study what you love and you'll never work a day in your life.

Because nobody is hiring in your field.

Invisible...

A psychiatrist's secretary walked into his study and said, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible."
The psychiatrist responded, "Tell him I can't see him."

A physicist, a biologist, and a chemist go to the beach...

The physicist looks out over the ocean and says "I want to go into the water and study the fluid dynamics." The physicist then walks into the ocean and drowns. Then the biologist looks out over the ocean and says "I want to go into the water and study the local marine life." The biologist then walks into the ocean and drowns. Lastly, the chemist looks out over the ocean and says "I have come to a conclusion, physicists and biologists are soluble in water!"

A recent scientific study found that 95% of all homosexuals are indeed born that way....

The other 5% just get s**... into it.

Why does Stephen Hawking date African Americans?

Because he loves to study black holes.

New study shows bodies found from the Bermuda Triangle all died from heat exhaustion...

...everyone knows its 180 degrees inside a triangle, I don't know why people even bother traveling through it.

A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.

She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."

They found a cat on mars...

A live cat was found roaming the surface of Mars. Scientists planned to have the Mars Rover capture the animal to study it but unfortunately while attempting to capture the feline, Curiosity killed the cat.

Studying engineering in school is like World War 2.

The objective is clear, there's an obvious enemy, and everyone is fighting for the same cause.
Interviewing to get an engineering job is like Vietnam. Everybody tells you a different objective, you're not properly equipped for the environment, and the Asians are always one step ahead.

A blonde student catches her teacher at his desk after class

She puts her arms on his desk and pouts saying "this class is hard, I would do anything to get a good grade on the final. Anything."
He leans in close and says "Anything? Anything at all? Would you.... Study?"

Study something you like and you will never have to work a single day

Because you won't find work

A man went to a brain store to get a brain to complete a study.

He sees a sign indicating the nationality of each type of brain. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
"How much does it cost for an Americans brain?"
"Three dollars an ounce."
"How much does it cost for a Japaneese brain?"
"ten dollars an ounce."
"How much for a Frenchmen's brain?"
"$1,000 an ounce."
"Why is a Frenchmen's brain so much more?"
"Do you know how many French men we had to use to get one ounce of brain?"

A new study showed that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

I dont remember the last time I ate a monkey.

A New study I read suggests that 1 in every 10 people are gay.

This is really creeping me out because I've gotten j**... off by 10 guys and it's almost guaranteed that one of them was gay.

Because of all the studying, I spend an unhealthy amount of time sitting.

I think I am understanding.

A new study proves that beavers cause extensive flooding

I've read it. The evidence against them is damning.

I saw a study online that said 1 out of 10 people are gay, which freaked me out because I've had s**... with 10 people

Statistically, that means one of those other dudes was probably gay

After my dad died, we found an old book hidden away in his study.

It was bound in some sort of leather, and emblazoned with the title TO SUMMON THE DREADED ANCIENT ONE .
When we opened it, all it contained was gran's phone number.

A new study shows that dolphins are second in intelligence to man...

Guess that puts women in third.

My wife is an equestrian and she uses the money she earns to pay for me to go to University and study Philosophy. One night she asked me to help out around the stable and I told her I would but only after I finished my readings.

She accused me of putting Descartes before the horse.

A boy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you"?

A boy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you"?
The girl answered with a loud angry voice; "I don't want to spend the night with you!!"
All the people in the library started staring at the boy and he was embarrassed.
After a few minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said to him," I study psychology and I know what man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"
The guy responded with a loud voice,"$300 for one night. That's too much!!"
And all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears, "I study law and I know how to make someone guilty."

A boy asked a girl in a library, Do you mind if I sit next to you?

The girl replied with a loud angry voice; I don't want to spend the night with you! All the people in the library started looking at the boy and felt embarrassed. After a few minutes the girl walked calmly to the boy's table and said: I study psychology and I known what the man is thinking, I guess you felt pretty embarrassed, huh? The boy replied loudly: $300 for one night? That's too much! And all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the boy whispered in her ear, I study law I know how to make someone guilty

A maid decided it was time to demand a raise, so she went directly to the Lady of the house's private study

Maid: "I'd like a raise."
Mrs. Smith:"Why do you think you deserve a raise?
Maid:"Three reasons. First, I can cook better than you."
Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"
Maid:"Your husband. Second, I clean better than you."
Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"
Maid:"Your husband.Third, I'm better in bed than you are."
Mrs. Smith:"I suppose my husband said that too?"
Maid:"No, the gardener."
Mrs. Smith:"How much do you want?"

Albert Einstein was a genius and worthy of praise and study.

His brother Frank was an absolute monster.

Albert Einstein was a genius and worthy of praise and study.

On the other hand, His brother Frank was an absolute monster.

Professor: April, you are failing my class.

April: Oh, Professor. My parents will be so mad. I'm sure we can fix this. I'll do annnything to pass.
Professor: {gulp} anything?
April: YES! Anything you can dream up.
Professor: Will you…… study?

A new study found

A new study found
that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits..
And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims..

BREAKING: New Study Shows Getting Hit in the t**... is More Painful than Childbirth

After childbirth 34% of women said Yes they would like to have another child.
After getting hit in the t**... ~0% of men said Yes they'd like to do that again.

Leading entomologists experimenting with ant larvae have reported that while the introduction of milk-born disaccharides increased their height by 31%, it also inhibited tarsus growth by 47%.

The study concluded that the resulting specimens lack toes in taller ants.

A wealthy man on a business trip calls home and the butler answers the phone: Can I talk to my wife, please?

The butler answers that she is currently in the bedroom with a man. What?!! Take the rifle in my study, go to the bedroom and shoot them both - I'll stay on the line
Very well, sir , the butler answers and he walks away from the phone. After about a minute, the man hears two gunshots and a moment later, the butler returns to the phone.
I shot them both, sir. What should I do with the bodies?
I don't care, throw them in the pool
We don't have a pool, sir
Ah, sorry, wrong number

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their a**..., the results were pretty interesting...

30% of women think their a**... is too fat,
10% of women think their a**... is too skinny,
The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he is a good man, and wouldn't trade him for the world.

Do you mind if I sit beside you? The girl replied with a loud voice, "NO, I DON 'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy 's table and said, "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?
The guy then responded with a loud voice, $500 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT 'S WAY TOO MUCH!
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy stood and whispered in her ear, "I study law, and I know how to screw people."

"I'll do ANYTHING for an "A" in this class!"

"ANYTHING?!?" the professor asked.
"Yes," she said, "ANYTHING!"
"Will you . . . . study?"

Why shouldn't you study French philosophy before Roman poetry?

Because that would be putting Descarte before the Horace.

A 2006 study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

Another recent study found that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year.
That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles per gallon.
Not Bad.

A recent study shows that the best place for corporations to do business in the US is St. Louis.

As they say, ..Missouri loves companies.

After studying the force, young Skywalker wants to practice his French and asks Master Yoda: What does je ne sais quoi mean?

I don't know what
that means,
says the wise green hermit.

A mother is helping her son study physics

She asked him "Do you know Newton?"
He said no.
She said " if you had been paying attention to your lessons, you would have known him."
The son asked her " do you know Rachel?"
She said no.
He said " if you had been paying attention to your husband, you would have known her."

Study joke, A mother is helping her son study physics

jokes about study