The Best 35 Studies Shown Jokes

Birthdays are good for your health

Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.

Recent studies have shown that 67% of women have used vibrators

The other 33% have brand new ones

Studies have shown that smoking weed causes short term memory loss.

Next thing you know they'll be saying smoking weed causes short term memory loss.

Studies have shown horses exposed to marijuana are less stable and unsafe to ride.

So get off your high horse.

Studies have shown that American youth has already started using the metric system

Nowadays you can even find students from various schools in America using 9mm

A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better sex.

Unfortunately, the study was conducted by Bill Cosby

Studies have shown that women who are overweight

Are more likely to outlive men that mention it.

Recent studies have shown that 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy

Studies have shown that half of the people in this country are slowly going crazy.

The rest of us are doing it quicker.

Recent studies have shown that Apple is trailing behind Samsung in innovation

Experts predict that it will take at least another two years for iPhones to bring explosive features to the market.

Studies have shown that a deer can jump higher than an average house.

This is because deer are agile animals and also due to the fact that a house cannot jump.

A new study has shown LSD causes new users to lose weight.

Obviously, You can eat while there's a dragon gaurding your fridge.

A new study has shown banana skins contain traces of LSD...

I guess that explains why people are always tripping on them

Studies have shown that married men live longer than single men...

So if you want a longer life, and a slower death, just get married.

A recent study has shown patient mortality rates increase with the age of the doctor

Next week I have a surgical consultation with a particularly clever-looking newborn.

Studies have shown that public speaking is the thing that people fear the most. The second most-common fear is death.

This means that most people would rather be the one in the casket rather than the one giving the eulogy.

Recent studies show that chimps raised in captivity are more likely to reproduce if they are shown videos of other chimps mating in the wild.

monkey see monkey do monkey, monkey do monkey

A recent study has shown that almost 92% of anti-vaxers are republican.

guess that problem solves itself.

Recent studies have shown that several species of shrimp have randomly died while migrating to other seas or oceans

I guess they were accident prawn

African Grey Parrots are famously intelligent, but studies have shown that they consistently lose chess matches against ravens, jackdaws, and other corvids.

Said one researcher, "They just have trouble weighing the crows and pawns."

Recent studies have shown that...

Recent studies have shown that both genders reply differently to certain questions.

For example, if you ask a woman "Why do women make better leaders than men?", they'll usually reply "Because women have better leadership."

But if you ask men the same question...

"Because a man will do anything to get a woman to shut up."

A study has shown that women are better than men at driving in fog..

Well of course they are. They're not looking where they're going.

A recent study has shown you should NOT vaccinate kittens

It increases their risk of awww-tism

A study has shown 90% of women aren't interested in men that wear pink shirts.

Ironically, 90% of men that wear pink shirts aren't interested in women.

Studies have shown that attending church can actually release frustration.

I guess that's where the priests come in.

Studies have shown that if presented with song lyrics, the human mind will produce the melody and have it in the background. According to the researchers,

your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know.

A recent study has shown that listening to too much Queen might be dangerous to your health.

It contains a lot of mercury.

A new study has shown that Vietnamese couples are the happiest of them all

because most of the time, it's a Nguyen-Nguyen situation for everyone.

Studies have shown that people with more curves have a much higher risk of catching the virus.

Scientists are working hard to flatten the curve.

Five emos in a room

A study has shown that if you put five emos in a room, one of them will eventually kill himself because he wont have a corner to cry in.

Recent studies have shown that 5 out of 6 people enjoy gang rapes, and would be apart of one again.

Organ donation study reaches same conclusions as earlier study on GMO's

Studies have shown a strong correlation between the sexual identity of patients and whether they're able to accept various different donor organs. In particular, the bodies of aggressively heterosexual patients tend to reject donor organs.

As with studies earlier this year on genetically modified crops, researchers concluded from this data that straight men don't like trans plants.

Studies shown that people over 35 years old know the joke that would make smile more people then they know.

The problem is that most of the time they can not rember it.

TIL: Studies have shown that people who annually experiance more birthdays tend to live longer.

'The more you know'

Recent studies have shown that women overwhelmingly prefer 77, rather than 69.

Top analysts this is because they get 8 more.