JokoJokes

Stub Jokes

43 stub jokes and hilarious stub puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stub that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Stub your toe and laugh! Learn how to turn a small mishap into a fun joke. Get tips to make your stub jokes even funnier and creative. Discover ways to deduct the cost of these jokes from your paychecks.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Stub Short Jokes

Short stub jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stub humour may include short stab jokes also.

  1. What did one cell say to his sister cell when he stubbed his toe? *mitosis*
    ...
    I'll show myself out.
  2. Why do cowboys always want to die with their boot on? So they don't stub their toes when they kick the bucket.
  3. I wanted to learn about amputees on Wikipedia But I didn't learn much, because the article was a stub.
  4. I stubbed my toe and got scolded by my parents for yelling What the duck They were angry that I used fowl language
  5. If you're a movie ticket usher and ....... .... and amputee leaves the theater, but comes back and shows you his ticket, is it wrong to say to him "I'm glad you saved your stub" ?
  6. What did the boy say to his nanny when she stubbed her toe while playing tag? Na-na boo-boo
  7. TIFU by accidentally ramming my toe against the cigarette urn while I was trying to throw my cigarette away. Oops, wrong stub.
  8. Just saw that new Harry Potter movie, and was really disappointed... ...just looked at my ticket stub. It turns out the movie is called fantastic *beasts* and where to find them.
  9. What did the kid say to his nanny when she stubbed her toe while trying to catch him? Nana boo boo
  10. Did you hear about the casino croupier whose hand, through a tragic accident, was reduced to a stub? Don't worry, he's dealing with it.

Share These Stub Jokes With Friends




Stub One Liners

Which stub one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stub? I can suggest the ones about mock and slug.

  1. Jesus Christ was supposed to be named Franklin.... Until Mary stubbed her toe.
  2. Yo mama so fat, When she stubs her toe, her forehead ripples.
  3. Can't move your toe after a bad stub? No problem, just call a toetruck.
  4. Jesus's name was going to be Frank Then Joseph stubbed his toe and the rest is history
  5. A Geologist stubs his toe "Schist!"
  6. Why was the emperor of Japan crying? He stubbed his hirohitoe
  7. What did Voldemort say when stubbed his toe trying to enter Hogwarts? "Dumb 'ol door!"
  8. What did Michael Jackson say when he stubbed his toe? Ow!
    I'll be making my exit now. :)
  9. Why did Mario lose a life? He stubbed his MiyamoToe.
    ...I'll see my way out.
  10. I hate it when I stub my toe while rapping Gucci-dang
  11. Be careful stubbing your cigarette out on small metal dishes You may be lead ashtray
  12. What did the scientist say when he stubbed his toe? Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium.
  13. What did Michael Jackson say when he stubbed his toe "OW!"
  14. What did ZZ Top say when they stub their toe? Oh ow ow ow
  15. What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe? "Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!"

Stub Your Toe Jokes

Here is a list of funny stub your toe jokes and even better stub your toe puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the spelling bee contestant say when he stubbed his toe "O-U-C-H!"
  • What's the similarity between cellular reproduction and when James Charles stubs his toe? They're both Mitosis
  • My biology teacher stubbed his toe today and screamed.. Mitosis
  • What did the Frequently Asked Question say when it stubbed it's toe? "FAQ!"
  • Stubbing my toe Me: Ow, that hurts
    Sister: What's wrong?
    Me: Mitosis
  • The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
    He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
  • What does did Thanos say when he stubbed his toe? Oh snap, that hurt!
  • Why did God shout "Jesus Christ!!!"? He stubbed His toe.
  • What did the cat say when it stubbed its toe? Me-oww
Stub joke, What did the cat say when it stubbed its toe?

Rib-Tickling Stub Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about stub you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dummy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stub pranks.

A k**... passenger grinningly exposed himself to a stewardess as he boarded the plane.

"I'm sorry," said the woman, "but you'll have to show me your ticket, not your stub."

Ticket Please

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

(True story) After reaching the height of his fame, Alec Guinness went into a restaurant and dropped his jacket off at the reception..

When it was time to give his name, the Receptionist told him it wasn't necessary. Feeling flattered, Alec went to his table..
At the end of the night, he went to pick up his jacket. In the pocket of his jacket, there was the ticket stub. On the ticket stub, where his name was supposed to be, it said old man with glasses .

A stubborn chicken

There was once a stubborn chicken at Mr. Wiley's farm who always used to find ways to escape out the back.
Mr. Wiley decided to put a fence around chicken house, but being a stubborn chicken, he still managed to escape out the back.
Then Mr. Wiley decided to put it in a cage. But chicken, being stubborn still managed to escape out the back.
Frustrated, Mr. Wiley killed it, cooked it and finally ate it. But the chicken was stubborn. He still managed to escape out the back.

What did the stubborn Hindu in pakistan say after partition?

Na-ama-ste

I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie

She was a victim of my crow aggressions.

There was once a very stubborn man who never learned how to swim...

They say he died in denial.

I'm stubborn, I think it's a good trait.

Others don't agree with me. They're wrong.

A libertarian p**... looks at her pay stub..

"I'm sick of all these f**...-taxes"

Airport

Flight attendant was waiting at the gate for passengers when a man walked up to her. She said "sir, I need to see your ticket" the man then opened his trench coat and flashed her. The flight attendent then said. "sir. I said ticket. Not stub!"

Stub joke, What did ZZ Top say when they stub their toe?