Struggling Jokes
123 struggling jokes and hilarious struggling puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about struggling that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Struggling Short Jokes
Short struggling jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The struggling humour may include short struggled jokes also.
- These times are harder on people with disabilities. My dwarf friend is struggling to put food on the table
- Shout-out to everyone who is struggling with establishing their identity. You know who you are.
- I think winning the war on drugs is impossible. I struggle just to tie my shoelaces on drugs.
- I don't watch soccer... If I wanted to watch somebody struggle to score for 90 minutes, I would take my friends to the bar.
- Why do programmers struggle with girls? They tend to objectify them.
*I'll see myself out* - Bernie Sanders is a true socialist He's taking the delegates he's earned and giving them to somebody who is struggling to earn their own.
- A struggling SoundCloud rapper decides to get a job as a farmer... He now produces his own beets
- The real reason women don't like guys under 6 feet Dead people really struggle to hold a conversation.
- Germany's failure in the World Cup wasn't that surprising They have always struggled to progress in Russia.
- New data has claimed that only 52% of students leave school with an acceptable grade in Maths. Safe to say I am part of the 34% that struggled with it.
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Struggling One Liners
Which struggling one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with struggling? I can suggest the ones about class struggle and frustrated.
- I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in roman numeral I M LIVID
- Why do midgets make bad parents? Cause they struggle to put food on the table
- My struggle with steroid addiction has only made me stronger.
- I used to run a dating service for chickens... But i was struggling to make hens meet.
- If you struggle cutting cake.... Is it still a piece of cake?
- When I was young, I was very poor. After years of struggle, I'm no longer young.
- I own a struggling scuba shop ...my business is going under.
- Why didn't lebron james go to college? Because he struggles with finals
- Pirates may be good at math, but they struggle with the alphabet. They spend years at c!
- Struggling with sharp angles when writing the letter V? Sounds like a U problem
- Pakistan makes nuclear threat in response to fake news The struggle Israel
- Are you struggling with a mental illness? Or are you really good at it?
- I'd tell you a joke about healthcare... ...but the Americans would struggle to get it.
- To all the people struggling with paranoia Don't worry you're not alone
- The Etch a Sketch company was struggling But they hired me to shake things up
Uproarious Struggling Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about struggling you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stumbling jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make struggling pranks.
Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
A monocle walks into a bar. After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. You'll have to step outside to smoke."
So the monocle hops off the bar stool and grabs his cigarettes to head outside. Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom. They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled. They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become.
The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. "Hey you two!" he shouts. "Stop making spectacles of yourselves!"
There's a plane crashing down...
On the plane are The President of the United States, The British Prime Minister, the smartest man in the world, a priest and a boy scout. The pilot announces over the intercom: "People, we regret to inform you that we are going to c**.... Fortunately, there are 6 parachutes available."
Before anyone can respond, the pilot and copilot dash out of the cabin, each grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The 5 passengers look at each other, realize there's only 4 parachutes left, then make a mad dash for them. A giant fight ensues as everyone struggles to grab a parachute.
The President snags one and declares, "I *must* live! I'm the President of the United States!" before jumping out of the plane.
The Prime Minister grabs a c**... and yells, "*I* must live! I'm the Prime Minister!"
The Smartest Man in the World and the boy scout get into a tussle, ending with the Smartest Man in the World shoving the boy scout to the floor. Hugging the parachute to his chest he yells, "I'm the Smartest Man in the World! It is imperative that I survive!" and leaps out the door.
The priest helps the boy scout to his feet. "You go ahead, son," he says, "Take the last parachute. I've made my peace."
"We can each have one, father," The boy scout says, shaking his head, "The Smartest Man in the World took my backpack."
Drunk homecoming
A man stumbles up the driveway to his house at 6 in the morning, barely able to stand on his feet. He manages to reach the door but finds it locked and then proceeds to knock.
knock, knock, knock....
After a while his wife comes and opens the door, in a less than a pleased mood.
"What possible reason could you have for coming home at this hour!?"
Slurring and struggling to form words, but managing it in the end the man replies.
"Breakfast!"
The First Night of the Honeymoon
The groom and bride had finally reached their honeymoon suite and both were eager to consummate the marriage as quickly as possible. The groom was a huge man, over 6'6" tall and 250 solid pounds of muscle. The bride a beautiful and diminutive woman.
The groom looked at his beautiful bride, took off his pants and threw them at her feet. "Put those on." He ordered.
She gave him a bewildered expression, but attempted to do as he asked. "They're too big, they won't stay on." She exclaimed.
"That's right, just remember who wears the pants in this family."
She gave him a narrow look and removed her pants and threw them at his feet. "Put those on." She ordered.
The groom could not even get his big toe into his wife's pants. "I.. I can't get into them." He stated struggling.
She declared back: "That's right and until your attitude changes that's the way it's going to be."
did you hear about the cannibal in school?
it was a struggle, but eventually he passed the class.
Collection of my favorite Latvian Jokes.
* Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! More bread for me, man think. But bread have worm.
* Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already r**... by soldier.
* Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, Why so long face? Latvian say, I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby.
* Three Latvian are brag about sons. My son is soldier. He have r**... as many women as want, say first Latvian. Zo? second say, My son is farmer. He have all potato he want! Third Latvian wait long time, then say, My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over. Wow! You are win us, say others. But all are feel sad.
* Q : What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
* Q : How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.
* Q: What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato? A: This is cruel joke. please, no more.
The Bacon Tree
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... Every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like
bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath;
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "
"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees a ham bush...."
Math in the real world
Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway. "You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said. "I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years."
What do you call a struggling artist?
Baroque.
A gorgeous student walks into her professor's office...
She says "Professor I'm really struggling in your class."
He say's "Ok it's good you're here then, what can I help you with?"
"Well I don't quite understand the material but honestly, I would do anything to pass."
"Anything?" He asks.
She leans in close and softly says "Anything."
He leans in closer, almost whispering as he asks:
"Would you, study?"
Latvian man dies of hunger.
He sees St Peter at Pearly Gate. St Peter give him bread and say, "Struggle over now". Man cry from happy. But, look again! St Peter is really devil, and bread have worm. Struggle continues.
An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident
where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.
"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.
"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.
"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"
I saw a man struggling in the sea today shouting " Help, shark! Help!"
I just laughed because I knew the shark wouldn't help him.
Heard from my 10 year old cousin.
An Englishman went on a business trip to Japan...
When he got there, he stayed in a nice hotel and decided to call a prostitution service. Not knowing a single word of Japanese, it was he struggled with the ordering process.
When the girl finally arrived, they stripped down and get down to business... They were having a blast and the girl kept screaming **"Machigatta ana, Machigatta ana..!!"** Deciding that it was a sign that the girl was pleasantly satisfied, he thought nothing of it and continued all night long.
The next morning, the Englishman went and have a round of golf with his Japanese business partner. His business partner swung first.... **BAM!** **Hole in one!**
"Nice shot my friend, machigatta ana..." said the Englishman
Looking puzzled, his business partner replied
"That shot was perfect... but what do you mean 'wrong hole'?"
I don't watch World Cup soccer.
If I wanted to see grown men struggle to score for 90 minutes I'd go to a bar.
Movie theater madness
A young lad did some work for a farmer and when he was done was given a goose as barter payment. He tucked the goose under his arm and began walking home. As he was passing through town he noticed that a movie that he wanted to see was playing at the theater. Since they didn't allow animals he stuffed the goose down his pants, paid for his ticket and found a seat in the packed theater next to two old ladies as the lights dimmed.
The goose began to struggle and not wanting to be discovered, the young man inconspicuously unzipped his fly so that the goose could breathe. Shortly thereafter, one of the old ladies nudged the other, "Edna, the boy sitting next to me has his fly unzipped and something is sticking out!"
"Martha", her companion replied,"When you've seen one you've seen 'em all."
"Well you've never seen one like this before. It's eating my popcorn!"
Recently divorced Marine s**... slapped with a 1500 yard restraining order.
He is now struggling to understand the distance that has become between them, as well as windage.
A man is feeling horrible and goes to the doctor.
The doctor runs numerous tests that last for hours. Finally, he walks back in, a grim expression on his face.
"I have your results back," the doctor says, "and I'm afraid it's not good. I'm going to tell you this directly, you really don't have long to live."
The man is understandably stunned and struggles to find the right words. "I-I... how long do I have?"
The doctor sighs. "10."
There's a pause before the man speaks "Ten? Ten what? Ten weeks, ten months?"
"9."
A man on fire
A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.
Sometimes I struggle to understand jokes about the Civil War.
I just General Lee don't get them.
Visiting dad on his death bed...
[Visiting father on death bed] "Dad, I'm sorry for the pain I caused you. "
*Dad struggling to talk* "Hi sorry for the pain I caused you, I'm Dad."
I'm not saying my wife is fat...
but I struggle to lift her photograph
A one-armed eldery man and his wife step into a restaurant in Paris
The man orders a steak while his wife goes for a salad. The waiter sees the man struggle with his steak, as he only has one arm. The waiter feels bad for the man, but doesn't want to ask him if everything is alright because he might embarrase the man. At one point the man leaves the table to go to the bathroom and the waiter approaches the woman.
"Is everything alright?" He asks. The woman tells him that her husband lost his arm in the second world war when he was fighting in Paris. The waiter tells his manager they've got a proper veteran in their restaurant and the manager doesn't think twice. "Everyone that fought for our freedom eats for free!"
The waiter brings them the good news and the couple is much delighted. After dinner the manager and the waiter e**... the couple to the door. When holding the door open for the veteran he looks at the manager and says "Vielen dank für die guten abend"
A blonde woman was trying to do a Jigsaw Puzzle
She got very frustrated that she struggling so she decided to ask her husband for help.
She said "Can you help me finish this puzzle, Its supposed to be a Bird"
Her husband replied "Put the Froot Loops back in the Cupboard"
A heavily pregnant woman goes into labor in a retail store.
A crowd gathers around her as people struggle to help, or at least make her comfortable.
Panicked a man looks around and asks "Is anyone here a doctor?!"
From the crowd steps a man wearing skinny jeans and a plaid shirt, with short, neat hair and a scruffy beard. "I'm a vegan!"
Gay guys know everything...
A gay guy and a straight guy are in a car and stuck at a stoplight for a very long time. The gay guy looks at the straight guy and says
"I'm going to go, it's going to turn green anyways."
the gay guy goes and it turns green. The straight guy says,
"how'd you do that."
"Gay guys know everything." said the gay guy.
Then the two go to the mall and while they're in the parking lot the gay guy stops the straight guy and says.
"I bet you in about 4 seconds 5 hot girls come around that corner over there."
About 4 seconds later 5 hot girls walk around the corner. The straight guy says,
"how'd you do that?"
the gay guy says yet again.
"Gay guys know everything."
*At this point in the joke you say to the person "Then the two guys go up these things that are a lot like stairs but they move?" Struggle to think about what they are called and hopefully the person you're telling the joke to says "escalator." Then you say*
"Gay guys know everything..."
My favourite s**... position is the JFK
I splatter all over her face and watch her struggle to get out of the car!
[body shape - help request] M, 18, struggling to get rid of a body fit for a 46 year old...
Seriously guys, do I cut it up or just bury it whole?
A Burglar got into the house of a Lawyer the other day...
After a terrible struggle, the Lawyer succeeded in robbing him.
I struggle with an intense fear of becoming disabled
It's crippling
Did you hear about the teacher who was always cross eyed?
She struggled to control her pupils.
The wife & I have just been to the cinema to see that film, Suffragette.
Two hours of a woman's struggle... full of tears, aggression, sadness, anger and frustration.
Anyway, after she finally managed to park the car in the cinema car park, we rushed in and caught the credits.
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:
-Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?
-Sure.
-It's pretty much worthless.
-I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.
I'm trying to think of a sewing pun but I'm really struggling.
I needle the help I can get.
For those who struggle with fractions:
6/5=Improper fraction,
5/5=Whole number,
4/5=Proper fraction,
3/5=Racist.
85% of Millennials struggle with figuring out the opposite of these words.
Always
Coming
Take
Me
Down
A man goes to a bar
He sits down at the closest empty spot with the longest face you can imagine. The bartender asks him what's up while giving him his beer. He says with the saddest voice: "me and my wife had a fight and she said she wouldn't talk to me for a month". Understanding his struggles the bartender says he must really love his wife and miss her. "No" he says, "today is the last day".
Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Fair, a spokesman said
"We'll struggle to get another man of the same caliber."
I thought my dating site for chickens would make me a fortune
But I'm struggling to make hens meet
Thought I had written something clever until i started telling this one and no one got it.
I made a trip to the local dump yesterday and while I was there, I noticed that one of the employees was coughing and struggling to breathe, trying to heft a bag into a dumpster. So I went over to him and asked "excuse me sir, are you alright? Do you need a hand?" And he just replies "Nah I'm used to it, it's just miasma."
The England football team went to visit an orphanage in Russia this morning.
"It's good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible" said Anatoly, aged 6.
Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin were having a meeting in a 20-story building.
During a break the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards.
First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said, "Ivan, jump down."
Ivan replied in tears, "Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son."
Putin explained that he was only joking, and let Ivan out.
Then Kim Jong-Un called his guard Lee, and told him to jump. Lee started running toward the window.
Putin grabbed him and said, "Are you crazy? You will die if you jump!"
Struggling, Lee replied, "Let me go! I have a wife and a son!"
Many people who appear to be cool ,often struggle with feelings of inadequecy . But not me.
I have those feelings without being cool.
Times are hard right now. I've got a dwarf friend.
He's struggling to put food on the table.
What do you say to comfort a friend struggling with grammar?
There, they're, their...
Studies show that 9 out of 10 men struggle with erectile dysfunction
I think that's crazy. Men nowadays are just getting soft
Both my grandparents were midgets
They struggled to put food on the table their whole lives
Does anyone know the PC term for short people?
...or do yall also struggle with gnomenclature
Studies suggest that parents can do 1/3 of their kids' math assignments
However, they struggle with the other 3/4
God In The Parking Lot
A man is struggling to find a parking space. Lord, he prays. I can't stand this. If you open a space for me, I swear that I'll give up the drink and go to church every Sunday.
Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines down on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the man says Never mind, I found one!
A woman is breastfeeding on the bus but struggling to get her baby to suckle....
So she says to her baby
_"Eat up now or I'm going to give it to that nice man over there"_ and points at the man sitting across from her
10 mins later _"You have to eat, baby, or I will give to that man!"_
5 mins later _"Baby come on now, I can't waste this milk so you have to eat or im giving it to that man"_
At this point the gentleman sitting across from her yells
_"FFS Make up your mind lady, my stop was 3 stops ago!"_
A girl looked at me funny last night as I struggled to take her bra off...
She was probably wondering why I had it on in the first place.
A detective story
11:45 - arrived at crime scene
11:45 - Examined body. sign of struggle
11:45 - Found m**... weapon in drain
11:45 - Realised watch was broken
For Me, Chess is a Lot Like Tinder
I know a few openings, but continually struggle to put myself into mating positions
What did Obi-wan say to Luke when he saw him struggling with the chopsticks?
Use the fork, Luke.
A young blonde, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes...
but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices.
She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp.
Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in.
She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes.
The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up.
Oh, no! the blonde shouted in dismay.
This one isn't wearing any shoes either!
Apparently the man was smothered to death between a pair of b**....
There was no sign of a struggle.
11:45 Arrive at the crime scene
11:45 Examine body, signs of a struggle
11:45 Found m**... weapon in storm drain
11:45 Realize watch is broken
A pub's closing and a totally plastered customer struggles to get to the door
Then struggles to walk home, despite only living a few hundred yards from there. He literally crawls on the pavement all the way back home, drags himself up the stairs and eventually reaches his bed after two hours. He wakes up the next morning, and his wife tells him:
"You were really drunk last night weren't you?"
"Yeah, why? How do you know?"
"You left your wheelchair at the pub."
An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space
Lord , he prays, I cannot stand this, please open a parking space for me and I swear I'll give up the drink and go to mass every Sunday.
The clouds part and the sun shines on an empty space in the car park. Without hesitation the Irishman says, Actually never mind, I've found one.
As Northern Germans, we really struggle with the six feet distance mandate ...
Hopefully we can go back to our usual 10 feet distance after being vaccinated.
For me, chess is a lot like Tinder...
I know a few openings, but struggle to get into mating positions
They are making a TV series about the struggles of menstruating women over the years.
It is a period drama.
I was struggling to get my wife's attention.
So, I sat down on the sofa and looked comfortable.
That did the trick !!!
