Hilarious Structural Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.
The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.
The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.
The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "There is a 99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.
The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"
An anti-vaxxer and an engineer are crossing a bridge over a crocodile-infested river
The anti-vaxxer asks "What are the odds of us making it across the bridge safely?"
The engineer replies "After a careful structural analysis, I calculate a 99.7% chance of crossing this bridge safely."
The anti-vaxxer then says "Forget it, I'll swim."
I've got a friend who is a structural engineer.
He's always complaining about stress at work.
From how high can you drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?
Higher than you would think, the structural integrity of a well laid concrete floor renders it virtually indestructible towards an incoming egg, even at terminal velocity.
Three engineers argue about who designed the human body
"Look at all the supports and joints... " said the first engineer, "... it must have been a structural engineer."
"No, no, it was an electrical engineer; just look at the nervous system and all its connections and wiring." said the second engineer.
"Both of you are wrong" exclaimed the third engineer. "It was a civil engineer, because only a civil engineer would run a toxic pipeline through the middle of a recreational area."
Say what you want about the structural integrity of the Titanic
At least the pool is still full
Winds of 108mph, structural damage, flying debris, massive depression, icy blasts, communication difficulties, untold misery and suffering...
Yes, I forgot our anniversary again.
A building inspector for an old European town found that all buildings built between 1584 and 1750 had significant structural flaws.
Otherwise, if it ain't Baroque, don't fix it.
What's a civil engineer's favorite type of tea?
Structural integri-tea
Structural Engineering
Because architects don't know what physics is.
You can explore structural integrity reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean structural construction dad jokes. There are also structural puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do structural walls, and your mom have in common?
They are both load-bearing.
Did you hear the one about the structural engineer's first day on the job?
It was riveting.
A structural engineer walked into a bar...
...this is when he realised his building design was flawed.
3 Engineers are discussing what type of engineer God is...
Engineer #1
Obviously a Structural Engineer,like me. Look at the skeleton! Its art!
Engineer #2
Obviously a Electrical Engineer, like me. Look at the Nervous System! Genius!
Engineer #3
He's not a City Planner, like me... You Never put a waste treatment center so close to a recreational facility!
Structural Integrity.
What did the bridge engineer say when someone doubted his bridge's structural integrity?
"You're gonna have to truss me on this one."
I think this Deadpool movie is going to really bring down the house.
Having only three walls isn't good for their structural integrity.
My job title is "Thermal Generation Engineer for Recumbent Structural Apparatus."
I keep a chair warm.
Did you see that documentary about the daily lives of structural engineers?
I hear it's just riveting.
Why should you respect pornstars more than structural engineers?
Most pornstars I've seen are better at handling distributed loads.
Eiffel designed the structural support for the Statue of Liberty
If you were to look up her dress, you'd see an Eiffel.
(I made this joke up, and it's factual information.)
What type structural support do you make out of phone books?
A call-em
I used to like structuralist linguistics...
But now I'm not Saussure.
What kind of structural support was used to build Apple's HQ?
iBeams
How do you build a bridge which all the best structural engineers do not believe can hold the weight of traffic?
You use the suspension of disbelief.
