Comical Struck Lightning Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
How rare is it for a cow to be struck by lightning?
Medium rare.
Having s**... is like being struck by lightning
It's never happened to me, and the odds are not in my favor
Three bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...
"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, who had a heart attack while making love to his mistress, hence the smile." says the coroner.
Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won the lottery and spent all his money on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Sean, the Irishman, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is *he* smiling then?"
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
*My grandfather told me this one as a kid so I hope you enjoyed!*
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face. The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...
"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, 60, who died of heart failure while making love to his mistress, hence the enormous smile." says the coroner.
"Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars in the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Ok, so what about the third body?"
"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the r**... from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is *he* smiling then?"
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
Flying Blind
A Frenchman, Englishman, and an American are flying in an airplane on a cloudy, storming night when suddenly the plane is struck by lightning.
The pilot turns to his three passengers and says, "The plane's GPS is broken. I need each of you to stick your hand out the door, feel around, and tell me which city we are flying over judging by what you touch."
The Frenchman goes first. He opens the door, puts his hand outside of the door, and brings it in a minute later. "We're flying over Paris! I could feel the Eiffel Tower!"
The Englishman is next. He sticks his hand outside and draws it back in a minute later. "I just touched Big Ben! We are just over London!"
Finally, it is the American's turn. He shoves his hand outside the plane and brings it back in immediately. "We're flying over Detroit. I know because my watch just got stolen."
I was trying the figure out how lightning works.
Then it struck me.
A Bar opened opposite a Mosque!
The angry congregants of the Mosque prayed daily against the business....
Days later the Bar was struck by lightning and caught fire .
The Bar owner sued the Mosque authorities for the cause , as an action by their prayer...
The Mosque denied all responsibility!
So, the judge commented:
It's difficult to decide the case because we have a Bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and an entire group of Mosque congregants that does not believe in it !!!
The case is hereby dismissed!
My dads nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
I used to wonder how lightning worked.
Then it struck me.
Local Man Killed After Being Struck By Lightning
Statement from police: he would have been fine if he had stopped resisting
What was the musician doing when he was struck by lightning?
He was conducting.
You can explore struck lightning reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean struck lightning dad jokes. There are also struck lightning puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
When lightnings struck the church, the insurance company refused to pay
Reason: Act of God, in other words, deliberate destruction by owner.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
They say lightning never strikes the same place twice, and I believed that all my life. So when I got struck by lightning for the 2nd time on the hill,
I was shocked
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a revolting scene.
A train conductor was struck by lightning 15 times and miraculously survived
It turns out he was a bad conductor
A plane gets struck by lightning
A plane is struck by lightning. A woman screams, "I'm too young to die! I want my last minutes of life to be meaningful. Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up and says. "I can make you feel like a woman." He starts to walk up the aisle, slowly unbuttoning his shirt, and whispers, "Iron this."
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
TIL that people who've crashed a train before are impervious to being struck by lightning.
Because they're bad conductors.
Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
A Bishop and his plumber played golf
The plumber kept shooting the ball way out of bounds cursing " g**... it, I missed again". The bishop, annoyed, asked the plumber not to speak gods name in vain. As they moved to the next hole the plumber misses again, " g**... it, I missed again" The Bishop became furious. The third hole came and the Plumber missed. Before he could move his libs, lightning struck the bishop. And from above was heard "g**... it, I missed again.
My s**... life is like being struck by lightning.
I never thought it would happen, but when it did, it was shocking and left me a huge scar.
I was having trouble finding the answer on a question about lightning
But then it struck me
Outside my school there is an unfortunate tree
It has been hit by a car, struck by lightning, and now infested with termites.
What a poor sap
What's the difference between the Denver Broncos and a lottery ticket
One has a better chance of getting struck by lightning than winning, the other is a lottery ticket
They say men are 3 times as likely to be struck by lightning than women
Because lighting is 1/3 as likely to strike in the kitchen
I was out in the wild looking for lightnings and didn't know why I couldn't find any
and then it struck me
What do you call a cow struck by lightning?
Ground Beef
What happened to the guy who got struck by lightning
He was shocked
How come a man driving a train got struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
I got struck by lightning
And charged with resisting cardiac arrest.
When I worked construction back in the day, they used to call me "Lightning."
Never struck twice in the same place. (True story...)
Did you hear about the railroad employee who was struck by lightning?
They say he was a great conductor.
