Strong Jokes
131 strong jokes and hilarious strong puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about strong that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the many meanings of the word "strong" and offers up some laughs along the way. From a strong wind to steroids, we'll explore different ways to express strength and share some funny jokes about each. Whether you're looking for a strong neck, arm, and leg, or just a strong cup of coffee, we'll cover it all!
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Funniest Strong Short Jokes
Short strong jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The strong humour may include short strength jokes also.
- Everyone knows about Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.. But few know about Harold the Brown Nose Reindeer.
He was as strong as the rest, and could fly as high..he just couldn't stop as fast. - What do you call an incredibly strong STD? Herpules
(This joke has been brought to you by my 14 yr old son) - My car mechanic called me and said, You can pick up your car by 5 p.m. I said, I don't think I'll be strong enough by then.
- What did one deodorant say to the other? I can't understand you, your axe scent is too strong.
- What's the difference between a really strong weightlifter and a really, really, really strong weightlifter? Repetitions.
- Did you know that there's a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due the antelopes unnaturally strong hind legs, and he fact that the average house can't jump
- Getting my dad some strong aftershave and a cigarette lighter for Christmas. Can't wait to see his face light up.
- I keep a photo of my mother flexing inside the charm of my necklace Because she is a strong, in the pendant woman
- What's the difference between a Scotsman and a high school jock? One has a strong accent, and the other has a strong Axe scent.
- Bill and Melinda Gates are getting divorced? I thought they had a really strong foundation
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Strong One Liners
Which strong one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with strong? I can suggest the ones about solid and weak.
- I feel very strongly about graffiti in toilet cubicles So I have signed a partition
- Why isn't Darth Vader married? He is strong in divorce.
- I like my women how I like my whiskey Strong, Irish, and at least 18 years old.
- I always play jenga on a first date, That way she knows how strong my pull out game is.
- Apparently Iron Man also did a tuxedo range... But it wasn't his strong suit
- Why do pirates like to watch boxing? Because they can all appreciate a strong right hook.
- I almost drowned in my muesli this morning The currants were too strong for me
- Enter Password : chucknorris Error: Password too strong.
- What do you call ill-mannered burst of strong wind in the desert? Darude Sandstorm.
- Traditionally, orthopedic surgeons were strong and dumb. But now they have power tools.
- I'm in a serious relationship with my WIFI You could say we have a strong connection.
- I like my women how I like my coffee Strong and highly valued in the workplace
- What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman? The back of my hand.
- My girlfriend left me because of her strong beliefs... She strongly believed I had money.
- I'm a strong man, I don't need no woman! Is what I would like to say, but I miss you Mom!
Strong Man Jokes
Here is a list of funny strong man jokes and even better strong man puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you know that Popeye the Sailor Man doesn't seem strong to the Swedes and the Norwegians? He is, however, strong to the Finnish.
- Heard a rumor that Iron Man is going to be the newest Disney Princess... ...they're always on the lookout for a strong Fe male character.
- Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of Muesli? He was pulled under by a strong currant
- My friend is a man with strong convictions. The main reason is he couldn't afford a good lawyer.
- What's the difference between a hoedown and a hootenanny? It takes a bunch of people to have a hootenanny, but one strong man can hold a hoedown...
- A man drowned this morning eating a bowl of muesli. A strong current pulled him under.
- What do you call a man who's so strong he can lift a car? Jack
- What's behind every strong beautiful woman? Her man asking if she's done doing her make-up.
- How did the man drown in a bowl of muesli? A strong raisin pulled him under.
(source: my mother, who never could remember jokes) - There's an old adage which says that behind each and every strong man, there is an even stronger woman. Even moreso if you work for the Weinstein Company.
Strong Neck Jokes
Here is a list of funny strong neck jokes and even better strong neck puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Know why Robin Williams didn't start in Ridiculous 6? He didn't have a strong neck
Strong Arm Jokes
Here is a list of funny strong arm jokes and even better strong arm puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Prehistoric womens had very strong arms Yea, we have to remember that they had to wash dishes made out of stone
- what do jeb bush and lance arm strong have in common? everyone was disappointed with their last speeches and no one was disappointed when they dropped out of the race
- First man to fap in space? Neil Arm'strong!
- What did Neil do in space? He made his 'Arm Strong'
- As a friend I was pretty uplifting, I have really strong arms.
Strong Coffee Jokes
Here is a list of funny strong coffee jokes and even better strong coffee puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you know you hate your job? When your coffee is so strong it shows up in a drug test.
- An apple will wake you up quicker than a strong cup of coffee If it's thrown hard enough.
- I ordered a coffee today... "You're the strong long black?"
"Yep that's me, except I'm white" - I was talking to my creepy coworker I told him "I like my women like I like my coffee, strong and sweet." He said "Hmm. I like mine like I like my salad." "Well dressed?" I asked him.
"No. Chopped." - Men should be like coffee: strong, hot and not letting you sleep for the whole night. However, most of them are like copy machines: suitable only for reproduction.
- Doctor to woman patient: "Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him."
Patient: "But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee." - I like my coffee like I like my men. Strong and black.
Strong Wind Jokes
Here is a list of funny strong wind jokes and even better strong wind puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you get when you cross horses with strong winds? A tor*neigh*do
- My farts have always been my strong point That second wind really helps in winning the race to the lift.
- I asked the doctor if he had anything for strong wind. And he gave me a kite.
- The wind was so strong last night I really struggled to light my cigarette. Eventually, after 20 minutes of trying, I gave in and stopped my motorbike on the hard shoulder.
- What is the best way to stop a politician? A really strong gust of wind.
Fun-Filled Strong Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about strong you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean heavy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make strong pranks.
My wife threw a pack of turkey and a lighter in the cart and my God the temptation was strong...
It was just last week that I quit smoking cold turkey
Lunch theif
At work, I constantly found my lunch to be missing from the lunchroom fridge. I decided to get back at this thief, so I began making two lunches; one with a very strong laxative, and the other without. I hid my regular lunch towards the back of the fridge, wrote my name on both of these bags. Needless to say, weight gain and terrible diarrhea are bad ways to discover I have Alzheimer's.
Thought I'd share a favorite on my cake day
Gandhi used to walk barefoot on most days, neglecting modern footwear, and eventually grew a strong set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather weak and with his odd diet, suffered from very, very bad breath. To others he smelled atrocious, this super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Strength vs. Intelligence
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of John, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, John had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got."
John reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my (wo)men like I like my coffee...
...hot, black, and strong
^(possibly the original)
...thin, pale, and extra-sweet.
...50% alcohol.
...all over my g**... while I'm trying to drive.
...I don't like coffee.
...imported from micronesia.
...free, fresh and in the breakroom.
...huge and cheap with room for cream.
...cold, bitter, expensive and Italian.
...in a plastic cup.
^(eddie izzard)
...ground up, roasted, and quickly disposed of.
Two big, strong, grey animals are talking to each other...
Animal 1: Hey, you realize we have horns on the top of our heads right?
Animal 2: Rhino
Women Think Differently
Husband's Text Message by cell phone:
"Honey, got hit by car when I was out of office. Paula brought me to Hospital. They're doing tests and X-rays now. Blow to my head very strong, fortunately it didn't cause serious injury, but I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in left leg, and they may have to amputate right foot.
Wife's Text Response by Cell Phone:
"Who's Paula?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was in a bar when...
I was in a bar in London throwing back brewski's when these two larger women walked in. They both had strong accents so I asked.
*"Are you two ladies from Scotland?"*
One of the ladies turned to me and said,
*"It's Wales you idiot"*
I must've been so drunk that I didn't notice so, I immediately apologized and said,
*"Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"*
Don't remember much else.
Two boys were walking home from church after hearing a strong preaching on the devil...
One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad"
So I heard Charles Manson is getting married..
Yeah, I didn't think life in prison was a strong enough punishment either.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman rubs a lamp and out pops a genie.
''You're a kind lady, so I'll grant you one wish,'' the genie tells her.''See this cat? I'd rather have a strong, handsome man,'' she says.The genie agrees and – p**...! – the cat turns into a Brad Pitt clone. The woman leaps into his lap.''Do you have anything to say before we make love?'' she asks.''Yes,'' he says. ''I bet you wish you hadn't had me neutered last week.''
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I heard Bill Cosby made a s**... tape....
Twice as strong as duct tape.
A husband sends a text to his wife.
Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the hospital. They have been taking tests and doing x-rays. The blow to my head is very strong, may be serious. Also, I have 3 broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture on my left leg and they may have to amputate the right foot.
Wife's Response:
Who is Tina?
The Way Women Think
Husband's Message (by text):
"Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg and they may have to amputate my right foot. Fingers crossed!"
Wife's Response:
"Who's Paula?"
Three slabs of concrete walk into a bar
They sit down, order drinks and start bragging about how strong they are. As they're doing this a small bit of green tarmac walks in and they hide under the table as it orders its drink.
When it leaves they all get up and the barman asks them
"What's up with you guys? I thought all of you were tough."
"Oh, we're tough," they said, "but he's a cycle path."
TIL King George III had a strong distaste for The Colonies
In fact he found them revolting.
There are six American flags on the Moon.
Five of them are still standing. Due to the strong UV radiation, they are all completely white by now.
So it looks like the French landed there.
Three pregnant women were knitting tops for their soon-to-be born.
One posh one says "I'm taking vitamin A, as I want my baby to have strong bones and teeth". The other posh one says "I'm taking vitamin C, as I want my baby to have a good constitution and good heart". The chavvy one says "I'm taking Thalidomide cos I can't knit arms".
My wife and I decided to see a therapist because our marriage was falling apart.
Therapist: So, what seems to be the problem?
Wife: I can't take it anymore. I can't live with him making Star Wars puns all the time.
Me: Divorce is strong with this one.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So this doctor walks into a bar and he orders a beer...
**Feminist:** Why isn't the doctor a woman? Does it have to be a man? You know women can be doctors too!
**Me:** Okay, this FEMALE doctor orders a beer-
**Feminist:** Why is she drinking a beer in a bar? She's obviously an intelligent woman for being a doctor, why would she subject herself to such a male environment?
**Me:** Okay, she's not in a bar, she's um, at a… baseball game, and she orders a beer from one of the stands-
**Feminist:** Why would a strong independent intelligent woman doctor be supporting a male dominated sport?!!!!!! That's so oppressive! The men will look at her so demeaningly with no respect for what she has achieved!
**Me:** … Okay fine, I just won't tell the joke then.
**Feminist:** If you seriously can't tell a joke without being sexist then you're not actually funny at all. I bet the original male doctor was White too, you racist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Strong people don't put others down.
They lift them up and body-slam them for maximum impact.
What's the strongest color?
Super Cyan
What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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So there we were, 2 vs 100. We prepared our attack and started off strong...
Killed 'em both.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a Taiwanese friend who is is incredibly rude and bossy
He has a strong Taipei personality
A patient with insomnia goes to a doctor
A patient with insomnia goes to a doctor. (Russian Joke)
P: "Doc, I just can't fall asleep. Thousands of thoughts enter my mind and I stay awake through the night."
Doc: "here take (MiraLax - or alternative strong laxative) and it should help you"
P:" will this help me fall asleep?
Doc: "No, but you will only have one thing on your mind"
Sorry, translated this from Russian, may not be as funny in English
God is talking with the presidents.
God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."
I was offered $5,000 to sell my account to an advertisement firm
It was a tempting offer, but in the end I had to decline. My morals are strong and intentions are good, just like the wonderful people at Nestle.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two German soccer players go to a s**... bank..
The nurse there tells them that she can only take samples from one of them. Since they are both very strong men, she comes to a conclusion and tells them "I'll take a sample from the fastest runner"
This is alarming to the two German's, both of them being completely exhausted from the previous days game. After discussing it for a while, they decide to inform the nurse
"I don't think we're ready to compete for the cup...
I really need to find a way to finish my laundry.
I always start off strong but halfway through I throw in the towel.
A man tells a Rabbi: "I have a strong desire to live to eternity"
"Get married," replies the Rabbi.
"Is that simple? Would that allow me to live forever?"
"Not really, but the desire will disappear."
Did you know that prostitutes at the Moulin Rouge used strong alcoholic drinks to bleach their hair?
Absinthe makes the tart grow blonder.
People in the office always complain about the a/c being too strong
but I'm totally cool with it
I'm really worried about my wife and this weather
Ever since it started snowing, she's seemed really depressed. We've had strong, cold winds blowing lately, and freezing rain forming layers of ice over the snow. All she does is stand frozen at the window, staring, and I think she might be depressed.
If this keeps up I might need to let her inside.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was challenged to my first fight the other day. I picked out an outfit, showed up and got my a**... kicked.
It turned out not to be my strong suit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told the woman in Starbucks to make a coffee for my girlfriend.
"How strong?"
"Well," I replied. "I could definitely take her in a fight."
Before leaving for a battle, King Arthur puts a strong iron chastity belt on his wife Guinevere and entrusts the key to his most loyal knight, Eddie. Then King Arthur departs.
Five minutes into his journey, King Arthur hears Eddie screaming for him to stop. King Arthur signals his steed to halt and waits for Eddie to catch up.
"Eddie!" the king says, "What's the matter?"
"Your highness," says Eddie. "You gave me the wrong key."
A man was trapped under a bench press
A man in the gym was at the bench press when the barbell fell on top of him. Despite them being strong, no one could lift the barbell off of him so the man that was trapped tells someone to call a therapist which they do. When the therapist arrives, he asks the man why he called him and the man says "I need to get something off my chest"
A man was close to passing and said to his wife "Please answer one final question honestly for me"
"Anything" replied his wife.
The man continued, "We have three sons. Two are fine strapping lads, handsome, tall, strong. They have been the pride of my life. But our third son is so different, he is small, weak, and always ill. Please tell me honestly before I die, is he actually my son?"
His wife replied sincerely "Yes, you don't have to worry, he is our son". And with his mind set at ease the man passed away.
His wife thought to herself, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other two."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day during a war....
A tall, strong and handsome Roman soldier broke into a house where he found two luscious maidens and their matronly nurse.
Chuckling with glee, he roared, "Prepare thyselves for a conquest, my pretties."
The lovely girls fell to their knees and pleaded with him, "Do with us as thou wilt, O Roman, but spare our faithful old nurse."
"Shut thy mouth," snapped the old nurse. "War is war."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Be Strong
A burglar entered a bedroom, t**... the husband and wife, kissed the wife's ear and went to the bathroom..
The husband said to the wife "Satisfy him or he will kill us, be strong. I love you"
Wife said "He didn't kiss me, he whispered in my ear that he is gay, he needs vaseline and i told him it's in the bathroom. So be strong, I love you too."
Since the Democratic Party is led by Sleepy Joe Biden, today they announced that they'd be renaming themselves to the ZZZ Party...
... realizing that the Republican Party name no longer provides a strong enough contrast with their opponents, President Trump and Mitch McConnell declared that they will be changing their name to the Not ZZZ Party.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One of the most beautiful things in the world is a women's heart. It is fragile yet strong. Delicate yet resilient. It's a cradle of love, emotions and compassion. It like an ocean of secrets.
And of course its covered with b**....
A strong boxer
has a foam board to practice on.
He punches it 10,15,20 times in a row, so hard that each punch makes a crater in the foam.
After he finishes practice, he turns to an imaginary audience, shows them the board, and tells them
"here's the punchline"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A German guy, wanting to escape the cold and dark German winter, books a holiday to Miami.
A German guy, wanting to escape the cold and dark German winter, books a holiday to Miami. His first day there, he heads to the nearest beach bar and proceeds to pound down mai tais. After 5 or 6 drinks, he feels a strong urge to pee, and in his drunken state, he swivels his stool around and starts peeing right onto the sand. Just then, a young woman happens to walk by and shrieks "g**...!"
His cheeks blush as he yells back "Danke!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian and a Ukrainian go fishing together. They catch a talking goldfish, and she grants them 3 wishes if they let her go
The Russian says: we used my fishing rod, so I get first 2 wishes.
First: I want all the *insert some racial slurs* out of my glorious country.
Second: I want a big wall around Russia, nobody can cross.
Then Ukrainian has a dialogue with the fish
- Is the wall done?
- Yes
- Is it strong and durable?
- Yes
- Nobody can climb it?
- Nobody
- And nobody but moscovites inside?
- Yes
- Great! Then fill it up with s**... up to the edges
what would you say is your greatest strength
i have strong hindsight
that wont help us much
i see that now
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian and a Ukrainian go fishing together. They catch a talking goldfish, and she grants them 3 wishes if they let her go
The Russian Says: We Used My Fishing Rod, So I Get First 2 Wishes.
First: I Want All The Capitalists Out Of My Glorious Country.
Second: I Want A Big Wall Around Russia, Nobody Can Cross.
Then Ukrainian Has A Dialogue With The Fish
- Is The Wall Done?
- Yes
- Is It Strong And Durable?
- Yes
- Nobody Can Climb It?
- Nobody
- And Nobody But Moscovites Inside?
- Yes
- Great! Then Fill It Up With s**... Up To The Edges
Move to the left!
"A pastor announced, "If you know your wife is controlling you, move to the left".
All the men in the church moved to the left except one man.
The pastor was happy there was at least one strong man, and asked," How come your wife can't control you?"
The man quietly replied, "It's my wife who told me not to move".
An anti-vaxxer is sitting at a bar.
He is a couple beers deep when the bartender shouts Free shots for the bar! On that man over there! And he points to a man the anti-vaxxer can't see.
The bartender then proceeds to walk down the bar pouring shots for each patron. When he gets to the anti-vaxxer, the man stops him from pouring the shot and says:
I have had quite a few beers tonight and I need to work tomorrow. I don't want to be hungover. How strong is the liquor?
Bartender: It's 100 proof.
Anti-vaxxer: That's too much proof for me. I'll skip the shot.
The USA is proud because their Founding Fathers had strong convictions
Big deal the founders of Australia had convictions too.
A man is on his deathbed
He has 4 sons, the first 3 are strong and like him but the last one is weak and different from him.
He asks his wife "is our last son my son?", she replies "yes".
When the man has died his wife quietly whispers to herself "thank god he didn't ask about the other 3"
I was offered a good hot time today by a hot 21 year old redhead
In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I said no as I have high moral standards and very strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in scented lemon or vanilla.
Putin went to see his doctor
Putin went to see his most trusted advisor, who happened to be his personal physician. The doctor said, "I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" Putin said, "I am a strong Russian man. I'll take the bad news." The doctor said, "the war is going badly. It will take another year to crush the Ukrainians." Putin said, "thanks, I know it's hard to be honest with a powerful man like me. What's the good news?" The doctor said, "your cancer is back and you have only six months to live."
Just bought some extra strong beer. On the tin it says 'Please drink responsibly'
Well I've got my seat belt on...
11 People on a rope
11 people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.
10 men and 1 woman
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave.
Because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said the she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my coffee like I like my women...
Strong, and able to give me the kick in the a**... I need to get movin' in the morning!
I bet you $20 that you won't be able to push the same thing back in my wheelbarrow.
Two workers - one big and strong, the other small and weak - are on a building site.
The small chap says "I bet you $20 that I can push something to the end of the yard in my wheelbarrow and you won't be able to push the same thing back."
"You're on," says the big guy.
"Righto," says the small fellow, "Jump in."
Canada is sending a strong team to the World Cup.
Unfortunately, it's the drinking team.
