Strong Jokes
136 strong jokes and hilarious strong puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about strong that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the many meanings of the word "strong" and offers up some laughs along the way. From a strong wind to steroids, we'll explore different ways to express strength and share some funny jokes about each. Whether you're looking for a strong neck, arm, and leg, or just a strong cup of coffee, we'll cover it all!
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Funniest Strong Short Jokes
Short strong jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The strong humour may include short strength jokes also.
- Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields? I'm not sure about this nfl draft thing.
- Everyone knows about Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.. But few know about Harold the Brown Nose Reindeer.
He was as strong as the rest, and could fly as high..he just couldn't stop as fast. - What do you call an incredibly strong STD? Herpules
(This joke has been brought to you by my 14 yr old son) - I just quit my job at the gym because I wasn't big or strong enough I've handed in my too weak notice
- My car mechanic called me and said, You can pick up your car by 5 p.m. I said, I don't think I'll be strong enough by then.
- So there we were, 2 vs 100. We prepared our attack and started off strong... Killed 'em both.
- What did one deodorant say to the other? I can't understand you, your axe scent is too strong.
- What's the difference between a really strong weightlifter and a really, really, really strong weightlifter? Repetitions.
- Did you know that there's a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due the antelopes unnaturally strong hind legs, and he fact that the average house can't jump
- Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and body-slam them for maximum impact.
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Strong One Liners
Which strong one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with strong? I can suggest the ones about solid and weak.
- I feel very strongly about graffiti in toilet cubicles So I have signed a partition
- Why isn't Darth Vader married? He is strong in divorce.
- I like my women how I like my whiskey Strong, Irish, and at least 18 years old.
- I always play jenga on a first date, That way she knows how strong my pull out game is.
- Apparently Iron Man also did a tuxedo range... But it wasn't his strong suit
- Why do pirates like to watch boxing? Because they can all appreciate a strong right hook.
- How do churches stay so strong? They pray on the weak.
- Why are Saturday and Sunday strong? Because all the other days are week days.
- Iron Man and the Silver Surfer should team up. They'd be strong alloys.
- I almost drowned in my muesli this morning The currants were too strong for me
- Enter Password : chucknorris Error: Password too strong.
- What do you call ill-mannered burst of strong wind in the desert? Darude Sandstorm.
- [OC] I like my women how I like my coffee. Strong enough to kill a baby.
- Traditionally, orthopedic surgeons were strong and dumb. But now they have power tools.
- I'm in a serious relationship with my WIFI You could say we have a strong connection.
Strong Man Jokes
Here is a list of funny strong man jokes and even better strong man puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many nice guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just compliment it for being a strong, independent bulb until a real man comes along and screws it under their noses.
- What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman? The back of my hand.
- I'm a strong man, I don't need no woman! Is what I would like to say, but I miss you Mom!
- Did you know that Popeye the Sailor Man doesn't seem strong to the Swedes and the Norwegians? He is, however, strong to the Finnish.
- Heard a rumor that Iron Man is going to be the newest Disney Princess... ...they're always on the lookout for a strong Fe male character.
- Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of Muesli? He was pulled under by a strong currant
- My friend is a man with strong convictions. The main reason is he couldn't afford a good lawyer.
- What's the difference between a hoedown and a hootenanny? It takes a bunch of people to have a hootenanny, but one strong man can hold a hoedown...
- My Grandpa died last week,because we couldn't figure out what was his blood type. But he was strong man,who never gave up and he kept telling us to be positive till the last moment.
- Fun fact: Popeye the Sailor Man isn't actually all that strong by Danish or Norwegian standards... ... but he's strong to the Finnish!
Strong Neck Jokes
Here is a list of funny strong neck jokes and even better strong neck puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Know why Robin Williams didn't start in Ridiculous 6? He didn't have a strong neck
Strong Arm Jokes
Here is a list of funny strong arm jokes and even better strong arm puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Prehistoric womens had very strong arms Yea, we have to remember that they had to wash dishes made out of stone
- what do jeb bush and lance arm strong have in common? everyone was disappointed with their last speeches and no one was disappointed when they dropped out of the race
- First man to fap in space? Neil Arm'strong!
- What did Neil do in space? He made his 'Arm Strong'
- As a friend I was pretty uplifting, I have really strong arms.
Strong Coffee Jokes
Here is a list of funny strong coffee jokes and even better strong coffee puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My coffee wasn't strong enough. So, yesterday instead of using water, I brewed with Red Bull. I got halfway to work before I realised I'd forgotten my car.
- I told the woman in Starbucks to make a coffee for my girlfriend. "How strong?"
"Well," I replied. "I could definitely take her in a fight." - I like my women how I like my coffee Strong and highly valued in the workplace
- How do you know you hate your job? When your coffee is so strong it shows up in a drug test.
- An apple will wake you up quicker than a strong cup of coffee If it's thrown hard enough.
- „I like my coffee how I like my women „Full of milk?
„Black and strong?
„Steaming hot?
„All over your lap?
„In the morning?
„I will never speak with all of you again. - I like my women like I like my coffee Very strong, and given proper credit for their contributions in both the home and the workplace.
- I ordered a coffee today... "You're the strong long black?"
"Yep that's me, except I'm white" - I was talking to my creepy coworker I told him "I like my women like I like my coffee, strong and sweet." He said "Hmm. I like mine like I like my salad." "Well dressed?" I asked him.
"No. Chopped." - Men should be like coffee: strong, hot and not letting you sleep for the whole night. However, most of them are like copy machines: suitable only for reproduction.
Strong Wind Jokes
Here is a list of funny strong wind jokes and even better strong wind puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you get when you cross horses with strong winds? A tor*neigh*do
- My farts have always been my strong point That second wind really helps in winning the race to the lift.
- I asked the doctor if he had anything for strong wind. And he gave me a kite.
- The wind was so strong last night I really struggled to light my cigarette. Eventually, after 20 minutes of trying, I gave in and stopped my motorbike on the hard shoulder.
- What is the best way to stop a politician? A really strong gust of wind.
- Why did the k**... member stumble in the strong breeze? *Because he was three sheets to the wind.*
Fun-Filled Strong Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about strong you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean heavy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make strong pranks.
I was in a pub...
I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them chirped saying, "It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!"
So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?"
That's pretty much the last thing I remember...
Lunch theif
At work, I constantly found my lunch to be missing from the lunchroom fridge. I decided to get back at this thief, so I began making two lunches; one with a very strong laxative, and the other without. I hid my regular lunch towards the back of the fridge, wrote my name on both of these bags. Needless to say, weight gain and terrible diarrhea are bad ways to discover I have Alzheimer's.
Thought I'd share a favorite on my cake day
Gandhi used to walk barefoot on most days, neglecting modern footwear, and eventually grew a strong set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather weak and with his odd diet, suffered from very, very bad breath. To others he smelled atrocious, this super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Strength vs. Intelligence
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of John, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, John had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got."
John reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."
I like my (wo)men like I like my coffee...
...hot, black, and strong
^(possibly the original)
...thin, pale, and extra-sweet.
...50% alcohol.
...all over my g**... while I'm trying to drive.
...I don't like coffee.
...imported from micronesia.
...free, fresh and in the breakroom.
...huge and cheap with room for cream.
...cold, bitter, expensive and Italian.
...in a plastic cup.
^(eddie izzard)
...ground up, roasted, and quickly disposed of.
A man was drinking in a British pub
...when he noticed two very large women with strong accents. "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?" he asked.
"It's Wales, you idiot" one answered.
"I'm sorry" the man replied. "Are you two whales from Ireland?"
Women Think Differently
Husband's Text Message by cell phone:
"Honey, got hit by car when I was out of office. Paula brought me to Hospital. They're doing tests and X-rays now. Blow to my head very strong, fortunately it didn't cause serious injury, but I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in left leg, and they may have to amputate right foot.
Wife's Text Response by Cell Phone:
"Who's Paula?"
What's the difference between a Scotsman and a high school jock?
One has a strong accent, and the other has a strong Axe scent.
I was in a bar when...
I was in a bar in London throwing back brewski's when these two larger women walked in. They both had strong accents so I asked.
*"Are you two ladies from Scotland?"*
One of the ladies turned to me and said,
*"It's Wales you idiot"*
I must've been so drunk that I didn't notice so, I immediately apologized and said,
*"Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"*
Don't remember much else.
A woman rubs a lamp and out pops a genie.
''You're a kind lady, so I'll grant you one wish,'' the genie tells her.''See this cat? I'd rather have a strong, handsome man,'' she says.The genie agrees and – p**...! – the cat turns into a Brad Pitt clone. The woman leaps into his lap.''Do you have anything to say before we make love?'' she asks.''Yes,'' he says. ''I bet you wish you hadn't had me neutered last week.''
I heard Bill Cosby made a s**... tape....
Twice as strong as duct tape.
I noticed two large woman by the bar yesterday...
... They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey are you two ladies from Australia?"
One of them screamed back at me, "It's Wales you s**... IDIOT!
So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Australia?"
A husband sends a text to his wife.
Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the hospital. They have been taking tests and doing x-rays. The blow to my head is very strong, may be serious. Also, I have 3 broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture on my left leg and they may have to amputate the right foot.
Wife's Response:
Who is Tina?
Today I was offered s**...
I was offered s**... today, with a 21 year old girl, in exchange I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner, now available scented lemon or vanilla.
- Source - facebook though it was funny so I though I'd share.
The Way Women Think
Husband's Message (by text):
"Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg and they may have to amputate my right foot. Fingers crossed!"
Wife's Response:
"Who's Paula?"
Three women sat discussing their husbands and their s**... lives.
"My husband's a wrestler," said the first. "He's really strong and aggressive in bed."
"My husband's an artist," said the second. "He's really gentle and sensitive."
"My husband's an IBM salesman," said the third. "He sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how good it's going to be when I finally get it."
Three slabs of concrete walk into a bar
They sit down, order drinks and start bragging about how strong they are. As they're doing this a small bit of green tarmac walks in and they hide under the table as it orders its drink.
When it leaves they all get up and the barman asks them
"What's up with you guys? I thought all of you were tough."
"Oh, we're tough," they said, "but he's a cycle path."
A black man walks into a bar...
And sits down with a parrot on his shoulder. When the bartender asks what he would like to drink, the parrot answers instead.
"v**...!" it squawks.
Amazed by the trick, the bartender got him his drink and stood back in awe. A few minutes later, the curiosity became to strong for the bartender and he had to know.
" hey, where did u get that? It's so well trained!"
"Africa" answers the parrot.
There are six American flags on the Moon.
Five of them are still standing. Due to the strong UV radiation, they are all completely white by now.
So it looks like the French landed there.
Three pregnant women were knitting tops for their soon-to-be born.
One posh one says "I'm taking vitamin A, as I want my baby to have strong bones and teeth". The other posh one says "I'm taking vitamin C, as I want my baby to have a good constitution and good heart". The chavvy one says "I'm taking Thalidomide cos I can't knit arms".
My wife and I decided to see a therapist because our marriage was falling apart.
Therapist: So, what seems to be the problem?
Wife: I can't take it anymore. I can't live with him making Star Wars puns all the time.
Me: Divorce is strong with this one.
I keep a photo of my mother flexing inside the charm of my necklace
Because she is a strong, in the pendant woman
A man goes to a job interview...
His resume was fantastic and his qualities was perfect for the company. The interviewers were impressed.
"You are a strong candidate, and we would like to hire you. However, there's this 5 years gap in your resume. What were you doing during that time?"
"I went to Yale"
"Wow great! You're hired"
"Yay, I got a yob!"
What do you get when you cross a cat and an octopus?
A strong reprimand from the ethics committee and immediate recission of all funding.
Today I was offered s**... by an 18 year old female...
Now I'm not gonna lie this chick was smoking hot. In exchange for the s**... I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner for her. Of course I, being the great person that I am, declined because I have high moral standards and my willpower is very strong.....but not as nearly as strong as Ajax, the safe and affordable bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon and vanilla scents
So this doctor walks into a bar and he orders a beer...
**Feminist:** Why isn't the doctor a woman? Does it have to be a man? You know women can be doctors too!
**Me:** Okay, this FEMALE doctor orders a beer-
**Feminist:** Why is she drinking a beer in a bar? She's obviously an intelligent woman for being a doctor, why would she subject herself to such a male environment?
**Me:** Okay, she's not in a bar, she's um, at a… baseball game, and she orders a beer from one of the stands-
**Feminist:** Why would a strong independent intelligent woman doctor be supporting a male dominated sport?!!!!!! That's so oppressive! The men will look at her so demeaningly with no respect for what she has achieved!
**Me:** … Okay fine, I just won't tell the joke then.
**Feminist:** If you seriously can't tell a joke without being sexist then you're not actually funny at all. I bet the original male doctor was White too, you racist.
What's the strongest color?
Super Cyan
What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
Getting my dad some strong aftershave and a cigarette lighter for Christmas.
Can't wait to see his face light up.
I was offered s**... from a 21 year old girl today
In exchange for that I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standing with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner now available with lemon or vanilla.
I was at the bar the other night with my buddy having some beers.....
We had been there a while when two large girls came up to the bar and ordered some drinks. I noticed when they ordered they both had strong accents so I said 'Hi, are you two girls from Scotland?' One of them spoke up, with quite an attitude and said 'it's WALES you idiot!!!'
So I immediately said 'Sorry, are you two Whales from Scotland?'
A patient with insomnia goes to a doctor
A patient with insomnia goes to a doctor. (Russian Joke)
P: "Doc, I just can't fall asleep. Thousands of thoughts enter my mind and I stay awake through the night."
Doc: "here take (MiraLax - or alternative strong laxative) and it should help you"
P:" will this help me fall asleep?
Doc: "No, but you will only have one thing on your mind"
Sorry, translated this from Russian, may not be as funny in English
God is talking with the presidents.
God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."
Two German soccer players go to a s**... bank..
The nurse there tells them that she can only take samples from one of them. Since they are both very strong men, she comes to a conclusion and tells them "I'll take a sample from the fastest runner"
This is alarming to the two German's, both of them being completely exhausted from the previous days game. After discussing it for a while, they decide to inform the nurse
"I don't think we're ready to compete for the cup...
A man tells a Rabbi: "I have a strong desire to live to eternity"
"Get married," replies the Rabbi.
"Is that simple? Would that allow me to live forever?"
"Not really, but the desire will disappear."
Did you know that prostitutes at the Moulin Rouge used strong alcoholic drinks to bleach their hair?
Absinthe makes the tart grow blonder.
I was offered s**... with a 21 year old girl today.
I was offered s**... with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.
A mans wife was in labor when the doctor said...
You know, there is an experimental technology that can transfer your pain to the father, but he will feel the pain 10 times as much
The husband, seeing his wife in pain hurt him too much and said, Do it. I'm strong enough
The doctor then did it, and the man didn't feel a thing, which the doctor found odd.
Later, the couple came home, and found their mailman, on their driveway, dead.
I resigned from my job as a personal trainer as they said I wasn't strong enough
I handed in my too weak notice
I was offered s**... with a 21 year old girl today…
In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a man with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in lemon and vanilla scents!
A little dwarf is sitting in a bar. He stares at his beer with a sad look in his eyes.
A strong guy appears, punches the dwarfs shoulder and drinks his beer. The dwarf starts crying.
The guy: "Come on, you wimp. A real man does not cry because of a beer."
The dwarf: "Listen. My wife left me today and my bank account was robbed. After that I lost my job. I didn't want to live anymore, so I laid down on the railroad track. The train did not come. Wanted to hang myself - the rope teared. Wanted to shot myself - I ran out of ammo.
From my remaining money I brought a beer, tipped some poison into it, and now you drank it."
I quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big or strong enough.
Today, I put in my too-weak notice.
Misinterpretation
I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank quite a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland ?"
One of them snapped back saying, "It's WALES , you friggin' idiot!"
So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland ?"
That's pretty much the last thing I remember...
A man was trapped under a bench press
A man in the gym was at the bench press when the barbell fell on top of him. Despite them being strong, no one could lift the barbell off of him so the man that was trapped tells someone to call a therapist which they do. When the therapist arrives, he asks the man why he called him and the man says "I need to get something off my chest"
Me: I had to quit my construction job because I wasn't strong enough for the work.
Friend: Did you give them your too weak notice?
A man was close to passing and said to his wife "Please answer one final question honestly for me"
"Anything" replied his wife.
The man continued, "We have three sons. Two are fine strapping lads, handsome, tall, strong. They have been the pride of my life. But our third son is so different, he is small, weak, and always ill. Please tell me honestly before I die, is he actually my son?"
His wife replied sincerely "Yes, you don't have to worry, he is our son". And with his mind set at ease the man passed away.
His wife thought to herself, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other two."
One day during a war....
A tall, strong and handsome Roman soldier broke into a house where he found two luscious maidens and their matronly nurse.
Chuckling with glee, he roared, "Prepare thyselves for a conquest, my pretties."
The lovely girls fell to their knees and pleaded with him, "Do with us as thou wilt, O Roman, but spare our faithful old nurse."
"Shut thy mouth," snapped the old nurse. "War is war."
Since the Democratic Party is led by Sleepy Joe Biden, today they announced that they'd be renaming themselves to the ZZZ Party...
... realizing that the Republican Party name no longer provides a strong enough contrast with their opponents, President Trump and Mitch McConnell declared that they will be changing their name to the Not ZZZ Party.
One of the most beautiful things in the world is a women's heart. It is fragile yet strong. Delicate yet resilient. It's a cradle of love, emotions and compassion. It like an ocean of secrets.
And of course its covered with b**....
A Russian and a Ukrainian go fishing together. They catch a talking goldfish, and she grants them 3 wishes if they let her go
The Russian says: we used my fishing rod, so I get first 2 wishes.
First: I want all the *insert some racial slurs* out of my glorious country.
Second: I want a big wall around Russia, nobody can cross.
Then Ukrainian has a dialogue with the fish
- Is the wall done?
- Yes
- Is it strong and durable?
- Yes
- Nobody can climb it?
- Nobody
- And nobody but moscovites inside?
- Yes
- Great! Then fill it up with s**... up to the edges
what would you say is your greatest strength
i have strong hindsight
that wont help us much
i see that now
Bill and Melinda Gates are getting divorced?
I thought they had a really strong foundation
Move to the left!
"A pastor announced, "If you know your wife is controlling you, move to the left".
All the men in the church moved to the left except one man.
The pastor was happy there was at least one strong man, and asked," How come your wife can't control you?"
The man quietly replied, "It's my wife who told me not to move".
An anti-vaxxer is sitting at a bar.
He is a couple beers deep when the bartender shouts Free shots for the bar! On that man over there! And he points to a man the anti-vaxxer can't see.
The bartender then proceeds to walk down the bar pouring shots for each patron. When he gets to the anti-vaxxer, the man stops him from pouring the shot and says:
I have had quite a few beers tonight and I need to work tomorrow. I don't want to be hungover. How strong is the liquor?
Bartender: It's 100 proof.
Anti-vaxxer: That's too much proof for me. I'll skip the shot.
The USA is proud because their Founding Fathers had strong convictions
Big deal the founders of Australia had convictions too.
A man is on his deathbed
He has 4 sons, the first 3 are strong and like him but the last one is weak and different from him.
He asks his wife "is our last son my son?", she replies "yes".
When the man has died his wife quietly whispers to herself "thank god he didn't ask about the other 3"
I was offered a good hot time today by a hot 21 year old redhead
In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I said no as I have high moral standards and very strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in scented lemon or vanilla.
A couple is having a marriage counseling session.
The husband said my wife keeps referencing star wars! I cant take it anymore! And storms out of the room.
The wife replied divorce is strong with this one.
Why isn't the Russian army as strong as expected?
Because they wasted all their steroids on figure skaters a month ago.
Just bought some extra strong beer. On the tin it says 'Please drink responsibly'
Well I've got my seat belt on...
11 People on a rope
11 people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.
10 men and 1 woman
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave.
Because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said the she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping...
I like my coffee like I like my women...
Strong, and able to give me the kick in the a**... I need to get movin' in the morning!
I bet you $20 that you won't be able to push the same thing back in my wheelbarrow.
Two workers - one big and strong, the other small and weak - are on a building site.
The small chap says "I bet you $20 that I can push something to the end of the yard in my wheelbarrow and you won't be able to push the same thing back."
"You're on," says the big guy.
"Righto," says the small fellow, "Jump in."
Canada is sending a strong team to the World Cup.
Unfortunately, it's the drinking team.