Stroke Jokes

What are some Stroke jokes?

If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day, it increases the chances of a stroke by 50%

Let her finish the bottle and she'll probably suck it as well.

Doctors have confirmed that masturbation is life threatening

Many men have died after having a stroke

Two nuns

Two nuns are sitting on a bench. A guy in a trench coat comes up and flashes them. One of the nuns has a stroke. The other couldn't quite reach.

I got kicked out of the hospital.

Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.

Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a man jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.

The first lady had a stroke, the second lady had a stroke, but the third lady's arm was too short to reach.

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench...

A man wearing a long raincoat approaches, opens it and flashes them.

Two of the ladies immediately have a stroke. The third couldn't reach.

3 Old Women and a Flasher

Three old women are sitting on a park bench when a man
comes by and flashes them.

Two of them have a stroke, and the third one couldn't
reach.

Studies find if a woman has a glass of wine a day increases the chances of a stroke.

If you let her have more she might suck it too.

My grandma caught me masturbating and she had a stroke...

She has such soft hands...

Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench

A man walks up in a trenchcoat and flashes them. The first lady has a stroke, the second lady couldn't quite reach.

My grandfather had a stroke this week..

He saw a picture of my grandmother when she was younger and couldn't help himself.

I got a hand job from Albert Einstein the other day...

It was a stroke of genius

[nsfw] What do you call it when a leprechaun gives you a handjob?

A stroke of luck

Three Little Old Ladies

Three little old ladies were at the bus stop in front of their church when a young man ran up to them and exposed himself. The oldest one had a stroke. The other two couldn't reach.

Three old ladies are sitting on a bench

A flasher runs up and opens his coat.

The first woman immediately had a stroke.

The second had one only a moment later.

The third didn't because she couldn't reach.

Three old ladies

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a flasher runs up and opens his trench coat in front of them.

The first old lady has a stroke.

The second old lady has a stroke.

The third old lady can't reach that far.

Three old women were sitting on a park bench...

...all of a sudden, a man ran in front of them wearing a long overcoat. He opened up his coat, and he was wearing nothing underneath. The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third one couldn't reach.

Three old ladies are sitting on a bench...

... when a man came up and flashed them. Two of the ladies immediately had a stroke, but the other couldn't quite reach.

I got kicked out of the swimming pool today.

Apparently the breast stroke isn't what I thought it was.

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a man in a long coat walks up to them and exposes himself...

The first old lady says, "My goodness!" and immediately has a stroke. The second lady, seeing the first lady, also has a stroke. The third lady couldn't reach.

Three Old Ladies Sitting on a park bench.

Three old ladies are sitting in the park. Just chatting it up on a park bench like old ladies will do.

Suddenly, a man in a trench coat walks up to them and opens his coat and flashes them with all that god had given him to offer.

Well, the first old lady immediately has a stroke.

The second old lady has a stroke soon after.

The third old lady, being more old and feeble, couldn't reach that far.

Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench.

All of a sudden, a man jumps out of the nearby bushes and flashes them.

One old lady had a stroke, the other couldn't reach.

Kids in class were asked to write 3 diseases

One kid wrote:

1. HIV, AIDS
2. Cancer
3. /

The teacher asked what's '/' ?

Student replied it's a stroke.

Last night I witnessed my dad having a stroke

I really wish he would lock the door when he does that.

Two old ladies were sitting on a bench...

Two old ladies were sitting on a bench having a quiet chat, when a flasher approached from across the park. He stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat, exposing himself.
One of the ladies immediately had a stroke.
The other lady, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.

At least my massive stroke wasn't all bad news.

My poker playing has improved by about 50%.

Two nuns are sitting on a park bench...

Suddenly, a streaker runs past them! One of the nuns had a stroke! The other tried but she couldn't reach.

What was it called when Einstein masturbated?

Stroke of genius.

What do you call a handjob from a rocket scientist?

A stroke of genius.

So there are three nuns walking down the street and a streaker runs by...

The first nun has a stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third, the third nun doesn't touch him.

I watched a documentary about stroke survivors last night.

It was a bit one sided.

What do you call Albert Einstein giving a handjob?

A stroke of genius.

Three old ladies

Three old ladies were sitting on a bench seat when a Flasher ran up & Flashed them.

The first old lady had a stroke..

The second old lady had a stroke too...

The third old lady couldn't reach.....

Three little old ladies

Three little old ladies were enjoying an evening on the town, when suddenly they were accosted by a flasher. The first little old lady had a stroke! Then the second one had a stroke! But the third one refused to touch it.

Death Notice

An old man and his wife had just moved to Australia when the wife passed away after a stroke. While talking to the neighbour about her passing, it was mentioned that in their new country, it is common to announce deaths with a classified ad in that section of the newspaper. Well, the old man decides that's a great idea and heads back home to dial the newspaper.

"Hi there, I'd like to place a death notice."

"OK then. Firstly, sorry for your loss. Now what would you like it to say?"

"Have it say, "Ruth died.""

"Well, um, that's, um, somewhat blunt, but the minimum charge is for five words. Is there anything else you'd like to add?"

"OK. Let me think, um... "Ruth died. Toyota for sale.""

What's it called when a smart girl jerks you off?

A stroke of genius!

So I taught my Grandad how to use skype ...

Only problem is, I can never tell if it's just buffering or if he's having a stroke.

Three nuns are sitting on a bench when

a flasher revealed himself to them. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, and the third nun couldn't reach.

A blond, a brunette and a redhead . . .

were in a breast stroke competition to cross the English Channel. They all dove in together on the shores of the UK. Across the Channel on the shores of France, the judges and media waited patiently.
After a few hours the redhead emerged from the waters to hearty cheers. About a half hour later, the brunette emerged to polite applause. But where was the blond?
They waited and waited. The sun was starting to set when the blond came out of the water, nearly dead from exhaustion. The few newsmen that remained rushed to her and asked if she had anything to say.
"Yes!" she gasped. "I don't want to sound like a sore loser, but I think that brunette and redhead were using their arms!"

How do most elderly golfers die?

They have a bad stroke

There were two old ladies sitting on a park bench

when a flasher came by. The flasher stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.

The first old lady had a stroke,

but the second old lady couldn't reach it.

So three old ladies are sitting on a park bench....

When all of the sudden a flasher comes by and, before they can reach for their canes, opens his trench coat and flashes them. The first old lady has a stroke, the second old lady has a stroke, but the third old lady couldn't reach that far.

As a paramedic, I've learned that there is something you can never say with a straight face:

I'm having a stroke.

What do you call a hand job from Stephen Hawking?

A stroke of Genius.

How can you tell if someone is having a stroke?

There is lotion and used tissues laying around

I got arrested at a hospital yesterday.

Apparently, the stroke patient sign is not a request one.

Three old ladies sat at a park bench when a man in an overcoat appeared in front of them, opened his overcoat, and flashed his naked body.

The first old lady was overcome by the experience and had a stroke. The second old lady was also overcome by the experience and had a stroke. The third old lady didn't have a stroke at all -- her arms were too short.

Someone gave a handjob to Albert Einstein...

What a stroke of genius!

A man in a trench coat aproaches 3 elderly women on a park bench. He flashes the women.

The first lady had a stroke
The second one also had a stroke
The third lady couldn't reach

Three little old ladies are sitting at a bus stop...

...when suddenly a man in a trench coat runs up to them and tears open the coat, flashing them his manly parts.

Two of the little old ladies immediately have a stroke.

The third couldn't quite reach.

what do you call the act of masturbation before you sleep?

the stroke of midnight.

There are 3 old ladies sitting on a park bench..

A man in a trench-coat walks by and flashes them.

2 of the old ladies have a stroke.

The other one couldn't reach that far.

Three old ladies are sitting on a bench in the park...

When a wild flasher appears and opens up his trench coat to reveal his nakedness, the first old last has a stroke, the second old lady has a stroke, the third old lady couldn't reach.

3 little old nuns are sitting on a park bench when a flasher flashes them

the first nun has a stroke,
the second nun has a stroke,
the third nun couldn't reach

New Years Eve

On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.

Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

How to make Stroke jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Stroke to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Stroke? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Stroke pick up lines to share with friends.

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