Stripped Jokes
38 stripped jokes and hilarious stripped puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stripped that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Stripped Short Jokes
Short stripped jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stripped humour may include short stripping jokes also.
- "Hurt me!" she cried, jumping onto the bed and stripping her clothes off seductively... "Alright," I said. "You're a terrible cook and I fancy your sister."
- Women are like hex screws The more damaged they are, the more prone to stripping they become.
- Me: I'm not very hungry, I just want something simple. Server: "Maybe the chicken strips for five dollars?"
Me: "Maybe it does, but I'd still be hungry after." - After having his title stripped and funds cut off by the royal family, Harry has taken up painting to supplement his income. He's the Artist formerly known as Prince.
- "I'm hungry. I just need something small to satisfy, any suggestions?" "...Maybe the chicken strips for $6?"
"Maybe it does, but that doesn't help with my hunger." - Little Johnny and the waitress Little Johnny: I'm not very hungry, any simple dish?
Waitress: Maybe the chicken strips for $6.99?
Little Johnny: Maybe it does but that won't help with my hunger. - It's another hot day, so I've opened all the windows and stripped off all my clothes .... it feels fantastic The other people on the bus are complaining though
- All day I have been looking forward to stripping off my wife's clothes They are way too small for me to wear and it's uncomfortable
- A molecule tells another: A free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them!
- Two strips of film are talking in a bar One says to the other "Why don't you and I go find a dark room and see what develops?"
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Stripped One Liners
Which stripped one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stripped? I can suggest the ones about undressed and stranded.
- Why did the rooster cross the road? He saw a sign that said "Chicken strips for a buck"!
- What does a chicken do when it runs out of money? Chicken strips.
- The inventor of wax strips has just died. RIP
- How Do Miners Make Money? By stripping or working the shaft.
- A lion who's been removed from its family.. ..has been stripped of it's pride.
- I hate getting into arguments about Mobius Strips. They're always one sided
- I like my Jesus like I like my chicken strips... Tender and mild
- I'll tell you what keeps me up at night Those rumble strips on the highway
- What is the naughtiest breakfast food? Bacon. It strips.
- What do you call chicken strips served at a bar? Bar Tenders.
- How do you keep a bolt from stripping? Help it find a better job.
- Happy mole day everyone! What do you call a stripping chemist?
A mole dancer! - What is the worst kind of alarm clock? The rumble strips.
- What does the chicken do to get through college? She strips.
- Mobius strips are very biased They're just so one sided.
Witty Stripped Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about stripped you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean topless jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stripped pranks.
TIL that a school of piranhas can s**... all the flesh off of a child's body in less than a minute...
On the downside, I lost my job at the aquarium...
My dad told me never to go to a cheap, s**..., dirty, raunchy s**... club, because you'll see something you really shouldn't.
So I went.
And I saw my dad.
My dad said 'Son, stay out of s**... clubs or you might see something you shouldn't.
So i went in and he was right.
I saw my dad.
A guy walks into a bar and sees that there are dozens of cuts of meat hanging from the ceiling.
Confused, he asks the bartender why this is.
Well, it's a promotion we are running. If you can jump up and grab one, you get a free New York s**... dinner, on us! But, if you attempt to do so and miss, you gotta buy one for every person here instead.
The guy takes a moment to scan the bar, counting up the number of patrons in his head, before turning to the bartender and replying
Ah, no thanks. The steaks are too high.
———
Shout out to my dad for telling me this joke dozens of times throughout my life. It never fails to get a laugh outta a new crowd. Thanks Joe, you da best.
Your mothers so fat
They started calling her h**... at the s**... club for all the damage she did to the Poles.
Who has no choice to s**... to make ends meet?
Electricians
A married couple of 20 years are lying in bed
The man rolled over and said to his wife, "Hey, honey, I have a hard on that I just can't get rid of. Think you wanna help?"
The wife turned around and stripped n**....
The husband then rolled back over, closed his eyes, and said, "thanks, honey, that did the trick!"
Dad peels banana...
When i was six or so my dad started this routine every time he ate a banana...
Dad:
peels the first s**... of the banana peel...
"One skin"
Peels the second s**......
"Two skin"
"Three skin"
"Five skin"
Me: "What happened to the Four skin"
Dad: "Jewish banana"
I was twelve and I finally figured it out....
A guy visits his favorite d**...
He puts his money on the bedside table and says I've been bad, mistress. I need to be punished.
She makes him s**... and bend over as she whips his quivering bottom.
Next she makes him crawl into bed and ties him securely to the bedposts.
She runs her whip over his flesh and, as he wriggles in anticipation, the bed posts break and his arms come free.
Don't worry, I can fix this he says, as he runs out to his car. He returns in a few minutes with some tools and gets to work.
In a few minutes the bedposts are fixed.
He looks admiringly at his handiwork and beams.
Good as new, mistress!
She says This sub really loves reposts.
My dad told me once, son, stay out of s**... clubs or you might see something you shouldn't. So of course, I went, and he was right.
I saw my dad
18 year old: Dad I turn 18 today!
Dad: great, I'm taking you the s**... club tonight.
18 year old: No, I already said I didn't want that.
Dad: Nicole, someone needs to work in this house.
I s**... wire for a living
It's not a glamorous job, but at least I can make ends meet
Dad: When you turn 18, I'm taking you to the s**... club.
Teen: Of course not dad!
Dad: Oh shut up Jessica, it's time for you to start bringing money to the house.
My dad told me to never go to a cheap, sleezy, raunchy s**... club, because you will see something you really shouldn't
So I went…
I saw my dad
Not very hungry
Me: "I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy"
Server: "... maybe the chicken strips for $6?"
Me: "... maybe it does, but that doesn't help with my hunger."
Random dad across the restaurant: "GOOD ONE!"
An older couple is having breakfast when the old woman says to her husband
"Just think, honey, we've been married for 60 years.?"
"Yes," he replies. "Sixty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together. And we were probably n**... as jaybirds."
"Well," the old woman snickers, "should we get n**... again for old time's sake?"
So they s**... off their clothing and sit back down at the table. "You know," the old woman says breathlessly, "my n**... are as hot for you today as they were 60 years ago."
"I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!"
How can you tell a s**... club is not open?
The sign says, "Sorry, we're clothed"
When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius s**...?
A: To get to the same side!
The owner of the local s**... club has a lisp.
I tried to go last night, but they were clothed.
Went and got my first gun yesterday
Went and got a 9mm p**... I go to pay for the gun and the cashier says s**... down facing me
Realizing this is probably because of gun wackos I did as she instructed
When the shrieking from customers and alarms stopped I realized the cashier was referring to how I should swipe my credit card
A beautiful blonde walks up to a craps table...
She bets ten thousand on one roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel luckier when I'm n**...."
She strips down and rolls the dice. When she sees the dice she jumps for joy screaming "I won! I won!" She hugs the dealers, takes her winnings and leaves.
Finally, one of the dealers asks, "What did she roll?" The other says, "I thought you were watching!"
It goes to show: Not all blondes are dumb, but men will always be men.