The Best 76 Strip Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Strip jokes. There are some strip fie jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these strip piranhas puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Strip Jokes and Puns

TIL that a school of piranhas can strip all the flesh off of a child's body in less than a minute...


On the downside, I lost my job at the aquarium...

Two mexicans are stranded in the desert for days....

... and they're at death's door....

They stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something, they suddenly spy through the heat haze a tree off in the distance.

As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with strip after strip of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.

"Hey, Pepe" says the first hombre. "ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"

"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.

So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.

His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe. "Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"

With his dying breath Pepe calls out.... "Ugh, run,amigo, run!! ees not a Bacon Tree".......

"ees... a.... Hambush"

I don't understand the appeal of strip clubs...

All you do is throw money at women who refuse to have sex with you. If I wanted that I would be married.

Strip joke, I don't understand the appeal of strip clubs...

Why don't Nazi's like strip clubs?

Because, they don't like Poles.

So people are loading into an airplane

And the pilot of this airplane is blind. At the end of the take off strip is a huge lake. All the people on the plane are relaxing reading books and talking to each other as the airplane starts to roll down the strip. A few people see that they are heading towards a lake but they assume the pilot knows what he's doing. The airplane is going dangerously close to the lake and the plane is still not taking off, at this point people are starting panic. The plane is still not taking off and it's way too close to the lake. At this point everyone on the plane is screaming and yelling because the plane is about to plunge into the lake at the end of the strip. The plane is about 10 feet away from the lake then it lifts off the ground and takes off. The passengers calm down slowly and return to reading and talking . In the front of the plane the pilot laughs to himself and mumbles "one of these days the passengers won't scream and we'll all die."


A young couple is out carousing one evening...(could be repost)

While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off your clothes?" She agrees and he begins to speed up.

When the spedometer hits 100 she starts to strip. When she gets all her clothes off he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car. The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. "Go get help," he pleads.

She replies, "I can't, I'm naked."
He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says "Cover yourself with that and go get help." She takes the shoe, covers herself, and runs to the gas station down the road.

When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, "Help! Help! My boyfriend's stuck!"

The attendant looks down at the shoe covering her crotch and replies, "I'm sorry Miss. He's too far in."

What's your opinion on the mobius strip debate?

I find it a tad one-sided.

Strip joke, What's your opinion on the mobius strip debate?

Tried having an argument with a MΓΆbius Strip...

...It was pretty one-sided

Two eggs and a strip of bacon walk into a bar

The bartender looks at them and says, "Sorry - we don't serve breakfast here."

As we stripped off jumping into the bed I said to my boyfriend, "Can you give me a minute?"


"Why? Want to freshen up?" He asked.

"No," I replied. "Its just that last time you only gave me 30 seconds."

Why do programmers like UNIX?

unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

You can explore strip striptease reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean strip vegas dad jokes. There are also strip puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


So a man hoes to a strip club

He sits down in the front row. A man sits behind him.
A girl comes out and starts dancing. Both of the men cheer.
She takes off her top. Both men cheer.
She takes off her bottom.Only the man in the front cheers.
Curious the man in front turns around and asks
Where'd all the enthusiasm go.
The man response. "all over your back"

Three guys meet in class after a superbowl sunday, still super hungover from the night before.

The first guy pipes up and says 'Fuck. i got so drunk last night I blew chunks.' The second guy cuts him off nearly immediately screaming 'oh yeah? I was so drunk I emptied my bank account at the strip club after. I have no money to pay rent now.' The third guy laughs at both of them and said 'that's nothing. I was so wasted last night, I sold my car to a homeless guy for 50 cents.' Finally the first guy cuts them both off. 'You guys don't understand.....Chunks is my girlfriends golden retriever.'

I had a big mix up at the store today.

Apparently when the clerk said strip down facing me, she was referring to my credit card.

Last night on stage at the strip club ...

...was the ugliest woman I've ever seen. She danced up to me and said "Hey handsome, what would you like me to take off first?"

"My glasses" I said

Caesar: Veni, vidi, vici

meaning I came, I saw, I conquered.
Which is probably useful for explaining why the strip club down the street now has the motto:
Veni, vidi, veni.

Strip joke, Caesar: Veni, vidi, vici

MΓΆbius strippers...

never show their backside.

How can you tell when you're in a bad strip club?

It's not hard.

How are strippers like giants?

they both grind bones to make bread.


I had an argument with a MΓΆbius strip the other day.

It was very one-sided.

What's the difference between a thief who steals timepieces and a man at a strip club?

One snatches watches and the other watches snatches.

Why don't they let whales into strip clubs?

They tend to humpback.

Why did the chicken cross the MΓΆbius strip?

To get to the same side.

Why didn't Hitler go to strip clubs?

Because he didn't like poles.

Being a stripper is like working at McDonald's....

Covered in oil and questioning your choices after high school.

Mr. Peanut was arrested for drunk and disorderly at a local Strip Club

The arresting officer said it wasn't the first time he'd busted a nut in front of a stripper and it wouldn't be the last.

When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

A: To get to the same side!

Why did the Chicken go to KFC?

To see a chicken strip.

I haven't had sex since 1956!

A woman asked a General in the army the last time he made love to a woman, the general stood tall and said "1956 ma'am." The woman, taken back by this answer said "1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better..." and the two sauntered away to a private room. The woman began to strip and the two made passionate love for an hour. The woman cuddled up to the army general afterward and said "well, you sure haven't forgotten any thing since 1956...". The general looked at her confused and said "well I sure hope not. It's only 2130 now!"
Shout out to u/mister_damage

How do they play Pokemon Go in Gaza Strip?

They grab a round rock from the ground and say: "Pick-a-jew"!

Why did the stripper need more insurance?

She had little to no coverage.

How do you spot a blind guy at a strip club?

It's not hard.

It's Jim's birthday

Jim's wife treats her man by taking him to a Strip Club for his birthday... At The Club, The Doorman Says, "Hey Jimmy, How are You?" The wife asks, "How does he know you? Jimmy says, "Oh dear, I play football with him." Inside the Bartender Says, "The Usual, Jim?" Jimmy says to Wife, "Before you say anything, He's on the Darts Team." Next a stripper Says, "Hi Jim! Do You Crave the Special Again??" The wife storms out dragging Jimmy with her & jumps into a taxi... The Taxi driver Says, "Hey Jimmy Boy! You picked up an ugly one this time...."

Two Arabs sit in the Gaza Strip, enjoying a quiet pint of goat milk.

One takes out his wallet and starts flipping through the pictures.

"This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. This here is my second son. He's also a martyr!"

The second Arab nods, They blow up so fast, don't they?"

What's the difference between a club and a strip club?

A club has a beat that you can dance to, a strip club has a dance that you can beat to.

A boy goes to a strip club. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did you see anything there that you were not supposed to see?

Boy: Yes, I saw dad!

Dad: When you turn 18, I'm taking you to the strip club.

Teen: Of course not dad!

Dad: Oh shut up Jessica, it's time for you to start bringing money to the house.

An englishman was sued for discrimination after firing all the redheads from his strip club.

He was able to get off Scot-free.

I strip wire for a living

It's not a glamorous job, but at least I can make ends meet

My dad told me never to go to a cheap, sleazy, dirty, raunchy strip club, because you'll see something you really shouldn't.

So I went.

And I saw my dad.

How can you tell a strip club is not open?

The sign says, "Sorry, we're clothed"

I told my dad the strip club had the best steaks in town. He told me what their slogan should be.

You can't beat the meat here.

What's the difference between a circus and a strip club?

You go to one to see cunning stunts...

I'm thinking about an app to let people rate strippers

I want to name it "Strip Advisor"

Strippers in Houston must be doing great.

Because they're making it rain.

Prince Harry and William must feel so awkward in a strip club

Imagine having to put pictures of your gran into a stripper's bra

Chad's wife decided to surprise him on his birthday

and to show him that she's a cool wife, she took him to a strip club.

At the club:

Bouncer: Hi Chad! How you doing tonight?

Wife: How does he know you?

Chad: We play golf together!

Bartender: Evening Chad! The usual?

Wife: And how does he know you?!

Chad: Um, he's on the bowling team!

Hot blonde stripper: Hey sexy, champagne room again tonight?

At this point the wife loses it and storms out of the club, dragging Chad with her, into a taxi.

Taxi driver: Hey Chad! Boy... You picked a fat one tonight huh? Same motel?

42% of strippers are working their way through college

According to the latest pole

What do you call it when your friends trick you into going to the strip club?

A booby trap.

The midget strip club down the street is hiring.

They must be short staffed.

I put my USDA inspected chicken strip in my wallet.

Now my legal tender is safe.

So I got my concealed carry permit yesterday

So I got my concealed carry gun permit yesterday and then went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small caliber pistol for home protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun, the cashier said, Strip down, facing me. Making a mental note to complain about these new invasive gun control laws, I did as she instructed. After her hysterical shrieking subsided, I realized she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the reader. I still don't think I looked that bad.

Dad peels banana...

When i was six or so my dad started this routine every time he ate a banana...

Dad:
peels the first strip of the banana peel...
"One skin"
Peels the second strip...
"Two skin"
"Three skin"
"Five skin"

Me: "What happened to the Four skin"

Dad: "Jewish banana"

I was twelve and I finally figured it out....

Two Arabs sit in the Gaza Strip (NSFW)

Two Arabs sit in the Gaza Strip, enjoying a quiet pint of goat milk. One takes out his wallet and starts flipping through the pictures.

"This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. This here is my second son. He's also a martyr!"

The second Arab nods, They blow up so fast, don't they?

As a fat, single, 40 year old man, I've been to alot of strip clubs.

Too bad I haven't made much money.

Went and got my first gun yesterday

Went and got a 9mm pistol I go to pay for the gun and the cashier says strip down facing me
Realizing this is probably because of gun wackos I did as she instructed
When the shrieking from customers and alarms stopped I realized the cashier was referring to how I should swipe my credit card

A guy visits his favorite dominatrix

He puts his money on the bedside table and says I've been bad, mistress. I need to be punished.

She makes him strip and bend over as she whips his quivering bottom.
Next she makes him crawl into bed and ties him securely to the bedposts.

She runs her whip over his flesh and, as he wriggles in anticipation, the bed posts break and his arms come free.

Don't worry, I can fix this he says, as he runs out to his car. He returns in a few minutes with some tools and gets to work.
In a few minutes the bedposts are fixed.
He looks admiringly at his handiwork and beams.
Good as new, mistress!

She says This sub really loves reposts.

18 year old: Dad I turn 18 today!

Dad: great, I'm taking you the strip club tonight.

18 year old: No, I already said I didn't want that.

Dad: Nicole, someone needs to work in this house.

The owner of the local strip club has a lisp.

I tried to go last night, but they were clothed.

An older couple is having breakfast when the old woman says to her husband

"Just think, honey, we've been married for 60 years.?"

"Yes," he replies. "Sixty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together. And we were probably naked as jaybirds."

"Well," the old woman snickers, "should we get naked again for old time's sake?"

So they strip off their clothing and sit back down at the table. "You know," the old woman says breathlessly, "my nipples are as hot for you today as they were 60 years ago."

"I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!"

What are strippers doing during quarantine?

Twerking from home.

Why does Hitler not like going to strip clubs?

He hates the Poles

My sister is so dumb, she tells everyone she is bipolar

Because she is working at two different strip clubs.

Strippers don't have air conditioning in their homes.

............Onlyfans

Strippers don't have air conditioning in their homes

OnlyFans

Yesterday I learnt that 20 piranhas can strip all flesh off a man within 6 minutes.

Unfortunately, I also lost my job at the local swimming pool.

Electricians have to strip to make ends meet

Shocking i know

Lately, whenever I read a comic strip about Charlie Brown or Snoopy I break out in hives.

I think I'm allergic to Peanuts.

Old Age Fun

Told to me by my 80 year old mother. Elizabeth and Gladys were stuck in an older folks home and bored to tears. So they decided to have a little fun and excitement. They go into the closet and strip naked. Then they run through the card room were two old fellas are playing cards. Tom saids to Jim why did you see that? Jim says yes... well what did they have on?.... I don't know, but it sure needed ironed

My brother and I were fighting over a Mobius strip.

I said there's no reason to argue about this, we're both on the same side.

My dad told me once, son, stay out of strip clubs or you might see something you shouldn't. So of course, I went, and he was right.

I saw my dad

She said she was stripping to feed her kids.

Yet she got pissed at me when I stuck a can of green beans in her garter.

What did Julius Caesar say when he went to the strip club?

Veni, vidi, veni.

(Must be a nerd to get this one) Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

To get to the other... oh... never mind.



Context: a mobius strip is an object with the interesting property of only having one side.

Strippers don't use air conditioners...

Only fans

Alexa, where's my dad?

Alexa-Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
Young Boy-Ha, got ya Alexa ! My Dad is sitting here right next to me.
Alexa-Your mothers husband is sitting here right next to you. Your Dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the strip relive jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working strip nightclub piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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