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Stretch Jokes

92 stretch jokes and hilarious stretch puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stretch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for jokes about stretching? We've got you covered! From funny yoga jokes to hilarious stretching puns, we've collected the best stretch jokes around.

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Funniest Stretch Short Jokes

Short stretch jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stretch humour may include short strain jokes also.

  1. I told my doctor "exercise is the best antidepressant available " "Sounds like a bit of a stretch", he replied
  2. Imagine if Elon Musk got married to Bill Gates and took his name... Yeah no, you're right... 'Elon Gates' is a stretch.
  3. I tried circumcision without the proper equipment. It was a bit of a stretch, but I managed to pull it off.
  4. I really don't understand how Karen's aren't in better shape... They're always stretching the truth and jumping to conclusions
  5. So I thought I'd start my own rock band I wanted to call it The Rubber Band.
    But I thought that was a bit of a stretch.
  6. I am dreading the time when Mr. Musk's scandal come out. I just know Elon-gate will keep stretching on.
  7. Found a news article saying that millions of people die annually from doing yoga. I think that's a stretch.
  8. I stretch daily to squeeze the demons out of my blood. It's the only way I know how to exorcise.
  9. I think I thought of a great joke about yoga But you might need to help me with the punchline, it's a bit of a stretch.
  10. My friend tried to convince me that yoga is a workout... I told him it's a bit of a stretch
    (Thought of this tonight during yoga)

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Stretch One Liners

Which stretch one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stretch? I can suggest the ones about slack and squeeze.

  1. Yo momma is so fat… …her car has stretch marks.
  2. I've been doing yoga for 5 years. It's been a long stretch
  3. Can a toyota stretch? No, but a Mercedes-Benz
  4. A time-stretched sinusoid walks into a bar... The bartender asks, "Why the long phase?"
  5. No one laughed at my pre-workout routine joke To be fair, it was a bit of a stretch.
  6. I have a pun about rubber bands... But it's a bit of a stretch.
  7. I hate when people say yoga is a complete workout. It's a bit of a stretch.
  8. Someone told me I should do yoga "That's a bit of a stretch for me" I replied.
  9. What do you call a communist doing yoga? Stretch Marx
  10. A man was arrested for stealing yoga dvds He's now doing a long stretch
  11. what do you call a stretched billionaire? Elongated
  12. Why did the bra stretch across the road? To set a booby trap
  13. They say you should warm up before you exercise. Sounds like a stretch to me.
  14. What do you call a bra stretched across a road? A booby-trap
  15. Have you heard the one about the yoga instructor? It was quite a stretch.

Stretch Marks Jokes

Here is a list of funny stretch marks jokes and even better stretch marks puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do you pick Dolly Parton's Kids out of a crowd? They're the ones with stretch marks around their lips.
  • Yo mama so fat Her CAR has stretch marks
  • How can you tell Sofía Vergara's children on the playground? They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips.
  • My patience has stretch marks.
  • Why do gay men have mustaches? To hide the stretch marks.
  • There's only one... There's only one place a man would want stretch marks.
  • My boyfriend complains about my stretch marks. He failed school. I say these are the only marks you'll ever get.
  • Yo mama so fat, she leaves stretch marks in the tub.
  • Yo mama is so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Stretch joke

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about stretch can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of stretch puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Laughter Stretch Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about stretch you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean strict jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make stretch prank.

Why do the ladies love Jesus?

He's hung like this. (Stretch out arms.)
Really one that you have to tell in person, but it's my favorite.

A gambling addict begins his 5th stretch of therapy...

"It failed 4 times in a row, so it's bound to work this time."

They say yoga is the best form of exercise

But I think that's kind of a stretch.

Why did the pirate have a fat girlfriend?

Real women have (s)curv(y)
...yeah it's a bit of a stretch

Two mechanics are talking, and one says to the other "Hey, I found this car part in the dump, I think it might be from an old limo."

The other mechanic inspects the part and replies, "Eh, I dunno, that might be a bit of a stretch."

I heard someone talking about all the potential health benefits of doing yoga,

but I think it's a bit of a stretch.

What do you call a fat socialist?

Stretch Marx

A prisoner was half way through his ten to twelve stretch when he was beaten and fell into a comma

, which helped him finish his sentence.

It stretched halfway around the block and got turned backwards.

A punchline walked into a bar.

My friend who does yoga told me she can out both her feet behind her head

"Wow" I said to her "Sounds like a stretch to me"

So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks

Why do you look so sad and the horse says well i haven't gotten a bj in months the bartender says she will do it so she gets on her knees and starts s**... the horse off. The horse is so big she has to stretch her lips out as far as they can go Then the horse looks down and asks why the long face?

I was going to make a pun about flexibility

I decided not to because it was too much of a stretch.

I'll run on the treadmill, I'll do the elliptical, I will even take a zumba class...

But yoga is a stretch for me.

My wife asked me, "Why don't you ever come to yoga class with me??"...

"That's kind of a stretch for me"

I once got so nervous I ate a long stretch of rope...

...for the rest of the day my stomach was in knots.

What do you call lethargic pasta?

Lazy anya
It was a stretch but I made it work I think

They say to use condoms if you don't want kids...

It totally works! Once you stretch it over their head, they suffocate it in a matter of minutes!

When the Daddy Car asked the baby car

When the Daddy car asked the baby car what he wanted to be when he grew up, the baby answered. "I wanna fit lots of people inside me and have parties where they can drink and have fun."
The daddy car replied "oh that's a stretch."
Original. Maybe bad. But original.

I'm AMAZING in bed!

Yeah, I can sleep for days at a stretch.

Two Men are walking in the woods...

When they come upon a Grizzly Bear. The first man bends down quickly and begins to tighten shoelaces.
The second man says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!"
As the first man begins to stretch he replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."

What is Captain Kirk's favorite fish, stretch and 17th century infantry weapon?

Pike

I hope Elon Musk doesn't get caught up in any scandal.

Elongate could really stretch out.

This one might be a stretch

Which Star Trek character do cleaners hate the most?
Mister Spock
Missed a spot... yah. :'(

Today I asked my wife to have s**... with her high heels on...

She said, "Okay, but not with the new ones you'll stretch them out like you did the last pair."

I don't know why my friend keeps calling my car a limo

It's just a long car, calling it a limo is a bit of a stretch.

I was gonna do a joke about Gumby on the Inquisition Rack...

But it was a bit of a stretch...

Me: A High Schooler finishing his last year decides to stretch. While stretching, my back cracks..

Mom: "Ooh, you're getting old!"
Me: "I know. I'm a senior."

the human intestines are so long; if you were to stretch them end to end

you would die.

Was planning on doing a 2-day Yoga workshop.

But thought it might be a bit of a stretch.

Did you hear the largest rubber band ball has 200 Million rubber bands?

I think it's a bit of a stretch.

Today I discovered something curious about the human body

Did you know that if you were to take someone's intestines out and stretch them along a 25ft tape measure, the said person would die?

What's better than stretching your ear lobe to 3 inches?

A job

Three long poos stretch down, one after the other, and silently enter the water without a splash

The toilet bowl says 'Why the long f**...?'

A Stretch of Convenience

I asked my yoga friend if she wanted to go to the convenience store with me, but she declined saying, "nah, I'mma stay".

My friend claims yoga is the best possible thing you can do for your body.

Seems like a bit of a stretch.

What was Ghandi's favorite part of a baseball game?

The seventh inning stretch.

Two blondes are driving to Miami for spring break

On a long boring stretch of highway they start complaining about how long it's taking to get there and the driver asks "What do you think is further away, Florida or the moon?" The passenger replies "Oh my God, you give blondes such a bad name. I can't believe how s**... you are, you can't even see Florida from here!"

Mark and his wife were driving along a country road.

They weren't speaking to each other due to an earlier argument. As they passed a particularly rural stretch, they spotted a couple of monkeys in the treetops. "Relatives of yours?", asked Mark sarcastically.
"Yes," she replied. "My in-laws."

I keep telling my kids that limousine jokes are the funniest kind.

They think it's bit of a stretch though

A state trooper is sitting at the end of a tunnel and pulls over a motorist for speeding.

License and registration the officer says.
No problem replies the motorist.
What are you doing out so late sir? the officer asks.
Just had a late night at work he replies.
Really? What do you do for work? the officer says.
Well...I'm an a**... stretcher he says.
An a**... stretcher?
Yeah, I take a**... and stretch them as far as you want, up to 6 feet
What would anyone do with a six foot a**...?! The office exclaims.
Well, the state gives them a car and puts one at the end of a tunnel!

Joe exotic was hoping for a Presidential pardon and even had a limo waiting

but it was a stretch.

I used to date my yoga instructor.

Put me in an awkward position at first, but we held on. I bent over backwards to make her happy but she found me uptight and inflexible. Guess it just didn't work out in the long stretch.

Why do Horses stand up and stretch their legs as soon as they are born?

Because they've been running out of w**....

A family of moles wake up from hibernation.

They start digging up to the surface to get some air and stretch their legs. When they arrive, there's a layer of concrete that wasn't there before. They dig around the concrete and Papa mole pokes his head out and smells fresh pancakes.
Oh, they must have built a pancake house up there! It smells great!
Mama mole, right behind Papa, sniffs and says, Oh wow, the syrups smell delicious!
Baby mole, in the hole behind both Papa and Mama says Yuck! All I can smell are molasses from back here!

Stretch joke, A family of moles wake up from hibernation.

jokes about stretch

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these stretch jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.