Stressful Jokes
42 stressful jokes and hilarious stressful puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stressful that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Stressful Short Jokes
Short stressful jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stressful humour may include short stressed out jokes also.
- I've got a friend who is a structural engineer. He's always complaining about stress at work.
- Dogs are getting stressed and confused because they've noticed their owners are now wearing masks Cats are unaffected though as they're yet to notice their owners at all
- I hear my local school wants to introduce massage classes to help combat stress but there's been a lot of opposition from parents' groups. Apparently, it's a very touchy subject.
- So i bought some of that Anti-stress shampoo. Don't know why people like it so much, I drank the whole bottle, I feel worse if anything.
- Bomb diffusal tech on being asked how he deals with the stress of the job It's not stressful, I'm either right or it's suddenly not my problem.
- My wife walked into the house after a long day at work. She looked tired and stressed. I said, " Did anyone tell you, you look beautiful?" She smiled and said, " No"
I said, "One day, one day" - I ordered a book called "How to relieve stress" My goodness, for the life of me I really hope that it arrives on time.
And that it's useful.
And that the delivery man doesn't dislike me. - Why did the clairvoyant visit the psychologist? He was suffering from pre-traumatic stress disorder.
- So I asked a bomb defusion specialist about the stresses of his job... ...he said there aren't any because either he's right or it's suddenly not his problem.
- What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when the wife is pregnant,
Tension is when the girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when BOTH are pregnant!
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Stressful One Liners
Which stressful one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stressful? I can suggest the ones about anxious and stress at work.
- Don't stress if someone says you are fat You are bigger than that.
- When I'm stressed, I like to iron my clothes It's a great way to let off steam.
- What do you call a stressed Darth Vader? Panickin Skywalker.
- Why are skeletons bad at high-stress jobs? Because they're easily rattled!
- My doctor told me to avoid any unnecessary stress So I didn't open his bills
- Why do fish gets stressed ? Current events
- What does a webpage do after a stressful day? Refresh
- What stops a Latino from performing well in a stressful situation? His panic.
- Never date someone who exercises to relieve stress… They'll run when it gets hard.
- To cope with stress you either need to have a strong spirit... ...or strong spirits
- What do you say to an angry woman sitting at a sewing machine? You seem stressed.
- Why was the Taiwanese woman so stressed? She had a Taipei personality
- do NOT— and I cannot stress this enough wake me up before you go-go
- Why is one-fifth so stressed? Because he is two-tenths
- If corals get stressed they die. What do corals even get stressed about?
Current events.
Stressful Event Jokes
Here is a list of funny stressful event jokes and even better stressful event puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Something light in light of Hurricane Florence Q: What do corals get stressed about?
A: Current events
Laughter Stressful Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about stressful you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tense jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stressful pranks.
Actual conversation today. My wife: "i'm tired of anaesthesiology. What other area of medicine should I try?"
Me: I don't know. Emerg?
Wife: Nah, I want something lower stress. Hey, what about sleep medicine?
Me: Sleep medicine?
Wife: Like, helping people with sleep disorders and such. I wonder what sort of education i'd need?
Me: Probably night school.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've been so stressed recently I've been doing that chinese thing with the needles.
You know...h**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Quarantine has me really stressed and bored so I've been trying that Chinese thing with the needle
You know, h**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Studies suggest when it comes to dealing with stress, m**... is twice as effective as s**...
So one in the hand really is worth two in the bush.
A reporter was interviewing a 102-year-old woman
"What's the secret to your longevity?", he asked.
"Simple. The biggest cause of aging is stress, and the biggest cause of stress is arguing with people. So I never argue with anyone."
The reporter laughed. "That's ridiculous. That can't be the real reason."
The old lady smiled and nodded. "You're probably right."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
m**... is perfectly normal and healthy . it releases dopamine and reduces stress . improves prostate and cardiovascular health ...
and i still got thrown off the bus
A man's in-laws are causing him severe stress....
It's gotten so bad that he's decided to talk to his doctor about the physical pain he's experiencing. The doctor prescribes him some painkillers and sends him on his way.
A few days later, the man comes back complaining that the painkillers aren't working. The doctor ups his dose and sees him out. This process continues until a few weeks later. The man is visibly happier and healthier. The doctor asks him if the painkillers worked.
"Yep! They're finally dead."
Three engineers were arguing.
The mechanical engineer, the electrical engineer, and the civil engineer. They were arguing about what sort of an engineer God must be.
"Well, God must be a mechanical engineer, because look at the human skeleton. Look at all the stress it's able to absorb."
"But look at the nervous system. Look at all the wiring. God must be an electrical engineer."
"Well, God must be a civil engineer, because only a civil engineer would run a liquid waste disposal unit right through a major recreational facility."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
'Calm Your t**...' is derogatory.
Feminists reccomend, instead :
'De-stress the b**...",'Soothe your b**...', 'Give that Chest a Rest', 'Don't have a Rack Attack'
and
'Hakuna the Tattas'
" I love to pamper my wife "
I love to pamper my wife after she's had a stressful day at work.
I get her to text me when she's leaving so I can get the hot water running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly so that, the moment she walks through the door, the dishes are piled up and waiting for her
There were three friends...
There were three friends - a lawyer, a doctor and a manager. The three of them were talking about the merits of having a wife vs. the merits of having a mistress.
The lawyer says, "It is more convenient to have a mistress. If you have a wife and want a divorce, there are all sorts of legal issues."
The doctor remarks: "It is certainly better to have a wife as it gives you a sense of security which in turn lowers your stress and helps you lead a healthy life."
The manager differs by saying: "I don't agree with either of you. I think it's best to have both. So when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress believes you are with your wife - you can go to the office and finish some work."
Have you ever heard the story of how the angel got on top of the Christmas tree?
Once upon a time, three days before Christmas many years ago, Santa was sitting in his office. He was under a horrible amount of stress; the elves had just announced that they were forming a labour union, half the reindeer had hoof and mouth disease, and Mrs. Claus hadn't touched his candy cane in months. There he was, fuming with rage, when in walks The Angel, cheerful and bubbly as ever, and asks with a big smile,
"where should I put the Christmas tree, Santa?"
A huge crab walks into a bar...
...and says to the barman, "I demand one pint of lager. I will pay the full price, provided that the following criteria are met. The beer should be served to me within one minute of ordering, and at a temperature of between 6-9 degrees Celsius. The beer should be served in a clean, cold glass and a beer mat must be provided. If the quality of the provided beer does not meet my high standards, you must agree to refund the full amount charged, and provide any additional financial compensation for any discomfort, stress or time wasted."
The barman looks at the crab and says, "why the big clause?"
Need a Break!
I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I would do something crazy. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked, "What in the name of good GOD are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."
I jumped down and walked out of the office....
When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked him, "And where do you think you're going?"
He replied, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark!"
Anthony arrived home from work one day, only to find his wife totally stressed out because their kids had been running wild all day...
She asks him if he would please take them out for a pizza.
He agrees, tells the kids to go out to the garage and to wait in the car, following behind them.
A few moments later, the wife hears two loud bangs.
Tony comes back into the house and asks, "Where's my pizza?"
I've been feeling really stressed lately, so my doctor advised me that before going to bed, I should drink two glasses of red wine, after a hot bath, but to be honest, it's not really helping at all...
...I can't even finish drinking the hot bath.
This has been seen before, but this is my favorite version.
I rear- ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Well, i couldnt believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, " Well, then which one are you?"
And thats how the fight started....
Gone Fishing.
This guy came home from work and said to his wife, "I need a vacation. I'm too stressed out. I think I'll go fishing for the weekend."
"Okay," she says. "I'll pack for you."
So she packs for him and he goes away for the weekend. When he comes back he says, "Wow, I feel a lot better now!"
"How did I pack?" the wife asks.
"You did fine, except you forgot my pajamas," he replies.
"No I didn't," she says. "I didn't have enough room in your bag so I put them in your tackle box."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Life has never given me lemons
It has given me anger issues, anxiety, stress, a love for alcohol, and a serious dislike for s**... people
So I went into mcdonalds and ordered some fries.
There was a chubby girl working, she seemed busy and kinda stressed out. She informed me the fries are cooking, and will be ready in about 3 minutes. I told her "no problem" and waited for my fries. After a few minutes she brought me my order and said "sorry about the wait" I said "no problem chubby, you're bound to lose it sometime".
