Strength Jokes
111 strength jokes and hilarious strength puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about strength that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Struggling to stay motivated with your strength training routine? Look no further! Get ready for laughter with our collection of strength jokes and puns that cover everything from strength and conditioning to Chuck Norris' superhuman strength! Laugh your way to being stronger while learning the science behind why strength training is so important!
Funniest Strength Short Jokes
Short strength jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The strength humour may include short strong jokes also.
- Interviewer: What's your biggest strength? Me: I'm a fast learner.
Interviewer: What's 11 * 11?
Me: 65.
Interviewer: Not even close. It's 121.
Me: It's 121. - "What's your biggest weakness?" asked the job interviewer. "I don't know my own strengths," I replied.
"What's your biggest strength?"
"I contradict myself." - A prisoner called Andrea wants to prove her strength... So she starts a weightlifting competition and wins! Turns out the powerhouse of the cell is the might of con 'Drea.
- Interviewer: What's your strength? Candidate: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: What's your weakness?
Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours. - what would you say is your greatest strength i have strong hindsight
that wont help us much
i see that now - At the job interview "What's your biggest strength?"
"I'm incapable of understanding criticism.
"That sounds more like a weakness.
"Aw, thank you. - Greatest Strength Interviewer: What would you say is your greatest strength?
Applicant: Yes.
Interviewer: What?
Applicant: Sorry, I thought you asked if I was listening. - A man is in a job interview.. "So it says here that you consider your memory to be one of your greatest strengths?"
"Absolutely."
"Could you give me an example of that?"
"An example of what?" - The interviewer asked me, "What's your biggest strength?" I took a piece of paper out of my pocket and read from it, "My biggest strength is that I'm always prepared."
- A pencil stands face to face against his nemesis, Paper. Will our hero find the strength he needs to overcome his greatest foe?! 2B continued...
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Strength One Liners
Which strength one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with strength? I can suggest the ones about power and strain.
- What is the strength of a magnetic field in space? 1 Tesla.
- I tried joining a lumberjack site for some strength tips I couldn't log in.
- What skill requires 90 percent arm strength and 10 percent groan noises Tennis
- "What is your greatest strength"? Brevity.
- Interviwer: so what are your strengths? "Yeah I'm pretty strong."
- What is Bond's greatest strength? Maturity.
- What happens when strength meets beauty? Domestic violence
- Did you hear about the strongman with no arms? He performs feets of strength!
- My 3 greatest strengths are: The calculator, the ruler and the eraser.
- In how many parts does the skull divide? It depends on the strength you use to hit it.
- Strength - The best way to gain Body effectively and permanently
- Who does show off his strength all time? Armstrong
- How long does it take for a Jew to get 100 meters far? It depends on the wind strength.
- Why did the crow go to the gym? To work on his caw strength.
- They say strength comes in numbers Tell that to six million Jews.
Greatest Strength Jokes
Here is a list of funny greatest strength jokes and even better greatest strength puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An ex-barman has an interview ...to become a teacher.
"What's the greatest strength you can bring to the children?"
"About 60%" - Interviewer: What is your greatest strength? Me: I'm very determined.
Interviewer: OK, we'll call you when we make our decision.
Me: Great! I'll just wait here then. - I had another job interview today. The interviewer said, What would you say your greatest weakness is?
I said, I think I'd have to say my listening skills are my greatest strength. - "And the last question", the interviewer asked the candidate, "what's your greatest strength?" "Patience".
"Thank you, that's all. You can leave now, we'll call you later."
"I'll wait here".
Heartwarming Strength Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about strength you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean force jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make strength pranks.
A very thirsty man was wandering the desert ...
... when suddenly he spotted a well. With the last of his strength, he neared himself, and started pulling the bucket upwards.
*Water! Water!* he shouted in anticipation
When suddenly, from the bottom of the well, a voice exclaimed
*Where?! Where?!*
A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day.
A gang of snails approach him and beat him up. Herman is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant's office.
"What happened to you? the officer asks.
"A gang of snails beat me up," Herman replied.
"Can you describe what they looked like?"
"I don't know," the sloth says. "It all happened so fast."
A weak little man applied for a job as a lumberjack...
...but the foreman refused to take him because he was too small. "I may look puny," protested the man, "but I'm not. Just give me a chance to show you my strength."
The foreman consented and told the man to go chop down a giant redwood that stood nearby. Half an hour later, to the foreman's shock, the redwood was lying on the ground.
"Where'd you learn to cut down trees like that?" the foreman asked.
"The Sahara Forest," the man answered.
"You mean the Sahara Desert?" the foreman ventured.
"Sure," said that man, "if that's what they call it now."
Texas: The Miracle State
At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas.
After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.
"Say, is this really a healthy place?"
"It sure is," the man replied.
"When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed."
"That's wonderful!" said Bill. "How long have you been here?"
"I was born here."
Superpower
One friend to another:
Friend 1: Hey, if you could have any superpower, which would you choose?
Friend 2: I'd want super strength.
Friend 1: Well I'd want Cold War Russia.
Source: Anthony Jeselnik?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Strength vs. Intelligence
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of John, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, John had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got."
John reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."
Jesus, Moses, and an old bearded guy are playing golf...
Moses steps up first and lands his ball in a water hazard. He then proceeds to part the water where the ball is and lands it in the hole.
Jesus hits his ball and also lands it in the water hazard. So he walk on the water, picks it up, places it on a nearby lily pad and also lands it in the hole.
Now the old bearded guy steps up and just hits the ball with all his strength. The ball goes flying! It then proceeds to hit a nearby rooftop, bounce along the grass and land on a lily pad. A frog appears and eats the golf ball. Then out of nowhere a bird picks up the frog in its talons and flies off. As the bird flies over the green, the frog spits out the ball and it manages to land the ball in the hole...
After witnessing this Moses turns towards Jesus and says, "I hate playing with your dad."
A man goes in for a job application...
...and the interviewer asks, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?"
"Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality-telling what's real from what's not."
"Okay," said the interviewer, "and what about your strengths?"
"I'm Batman"
A Jew is on his deathbed.
Summoning his last strength, he says: "Is my wife Sarah here with me?" And she says "Yes, I am here." He then says :"Are my children here with me?" And they reply "Yes father, we are here with you to see you breathe your last." And he smiles and says:"Is my father and siblings here with me?" And they too tell him that they are here. So the Jew lays quietly for a while and replies "Then who is the light on for in the kitchen?"
NASA CHICKEN CANON
NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.
British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements are made, and a cannon is sent to the British engineers.
When the cannon goes off, the engineers stand shocked as the chicken crashes into the shatterproof shield, smashes it to smithereens, blasts through the control console, snaps the pilot's backrest in two, and embeds itself in the back wall of the cabin.
The horrified Brits send the Americans a report of the disastrous results, along with an urgent request for suggests on improving the windshield design.
The American engineers respond with a one-line memo: "Thaw the chicken."
A Job Interview... "What is your biggest weakness? What is your biggest strength?"
In my job interview, the interviewer told me I had done very well, and he had two final questions for me...
1) what is your biggest weakness?
2)what is your biggest strength?
I said "Well my biggest weakness is that i have trouble discerning between real life and fantasy"
The interview said "okay then, and what is your biggest strength then?"
I replied " Hmm, either that I can fly, or that I can turn invisible."
Measure of Attributes
Endurance is being able withstand having tomatoes thrown at you
Strength is being able to throw a heavy tomato
Agility is being able to dodge thrown tomatoes
Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato-based fruit salad.
Last year I tried to move abroad to discover my strengths.
But she was too heavy and wouldn't budge.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I heard there are strength in numbers...
Try telling that to 6,000,000 Jews
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The god Thor is bored one day and decided to try out having s**... with a mortal woman...
He heads down to earth and finds a beautiful young woman. Pouring on the charm, he convinces her to go to bed with him. He goes back to her place and enjoys her in every possible way, absolutely plowing her with all his god-like strength and endurance. 7 hours later, he rolls off. She's laying there, gasping and panting, shaking, and exhausted from the most incredible s**... she's ever had in her life. She can't even speak. All she can do is s**... his chest with a trembling hand. He understands her point, though. He was amazing.
"I've got a confession to make," he says. "I'm actually Thor."
"You're thor!? I'm tho thor, I won't be able to thit down for a week!
A hero named "Super Cal" suffers from a slight weakness that curses his own body. However, he does have a certain strength. It's, unfortunately, his bad breath that makes him fairly unattractive.
So, basically..."Super Cal is fragile-ish except for Halitosis"
A frog can leap higher than a house
..partly because of the strength of its hind legs, but also because houses have difficulty jumping at all.
Well this should spice things up.
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
I was cleaning one of my garden statues and accidentally cracked part of its face
I guess you could say I don't gnome eye own strength
People who say me breastfeeding in public is 'inappropriate'
...should grow up. It strengths the relationship between me and my dog.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say there's strength in numbers.
Tell that to 6 million jews.
- Jimmy Carr
I was in a job interview.
"What is your biggest strength?"
"I am always on time."
"And your biggest weakness?"
"I get annoyed when my dealer is late."
An interviewer asked me what my biggest weakness was
So I replied "Well I'd say my best strength is my listening skills"
I had a job interview for a lifeguard position and they asked me what my biggest strength was. So I took a deep breath...
Held it for four minutes and they gave me the job.
My Chemistry homework is asking me to rank the bonds by relative strength.
Could Pierce Brosnan or Daniel Craig beat Sean Connery in a fight?
Why is there regular strength and extra strength Pepto-Bismol?
Is regular strength for people who kind of want to have diarrhea for a little while?
A man told me his strength gains came from eating soy products.
After he said this I wasn't sure whether I thought more of him, or lecithin.
This is a Mitch Hedberg inspired joke
So I was moving a refrigerator and I needed some extra strength. Instead of grabbing some Tylenol, I snagged a couple of Altoids instead. Cause I'll admit, I was curious...
Interviewer: What is your biggest strength?
Me: You tell me...
Interviewer: delegation
Me: Exactly!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[Grammar Police Job Interview]
Interviewer: "What is you're greatest strength?"
Candidate: " **Your** "
Interviewer: "When can you start?!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was filling a form...
This was the form he filled
s**...: 2 times a week.
Strength: My wife, Amy.
Weakness: John's wife Selena.
Opportunity: When John is on tour.
Threat: When I am on tour!!!
I had such a massive hangover this morning, I just stood in the shower for nearly an hour...
Then I summoned the strength to turn it on.
I'm starting a school for testing the strength of different juices
It's called the Juice Concentration Camp
Inner Strength
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can resist complaints and excessively loud people,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs...
If you can do all of these things, then you are probably a dog
Jesus is on the cross..
..fading fast he yells to his disciple Paul.
"Paul come to me my child. Come to me!"
Paul musters all his strength to break through the crowd.
"Yes my lord, I am coming to you"
Jesus continues to yell for Paul. Paul now crying falls at Jesus feet....
"Yes my lord!!!?"
"Paul, I can see your house from here".
. What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race
A. Wow, I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
"What's your biggest weakness?"
"I'm too complacent."
"Hmm. And your biggest strength?"
"That's irrelevant. When can I start?"
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
Use any units you'd like (actually happened in a class of mine)
Professor: Anyone want to guess the Earth's magnetic field strength? Use any units you'd like.
Student: *raises hand*
Professor: Yes?
Student: 1 Earth
"So, what are your strengths ?" The interviewer asked
" I always plan well ahead " I said .
" Can you give me an example " she asked .
" I drank a glass of pineapple juice before the interview."
Job Interview
At a job interview: "What are your strengths ?"
"I'm an optimist and a positive thinker."
"Can you give me an example ?"
"Yes, when do I start ?"
And Samson said "Lord, why have you given me all my strength in my hair?"
The Lord replied "Because your worth it."
If you are creating a weapon for blunt force trauma I would advise you to make it heavy and balanced while being suitable to your size and strength.
Not to put too fine a point on it.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
...are you testing its utensil strength?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Graphene has a Tensile Strength of 130GPa
And it's still not as hard as surviving your g**... her period.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bro1 : people says drinking milk gives you strength
Bro2: Yes, thats true bro
Bro1: i drank 10 glassesof milk , still couldn't shake a wall. I tried 5 shots of v**... and the wall shake by itself
There are some people out there with serious strength..
But I've always found the more laid back and funny type of strength way more appealing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Buddy Hackett duck joke
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Alberta. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded,
"I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer Peter replied,
"This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said,
"I am one of the best trial lawyers in Canada and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said,
"Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Alberta. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.' The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said,
"Okay, you old f**.... Now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
I wanted to be a hacker when I grew up.
But when I realised how much upper body strength a lumberjack actually needs, my dreams were crushed.
I just had to put my dog down. I never want to do that again.
I'm going to work on my upper body strength.
I was at the eye doctor with my 92 year old dad and they were asking people if they'd mind answering a few questions while they waited for their appointments. My dad said sure and we sat down in a corner with this lady.
She went through her survey and, at the end, asked him for his greatest strengths and weaknesses.
Well, weaknesses... he said I guess I sometimes have trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality
"And your greatest strength? She asked.
Oh, I'm the Batman
I was by my friends side when he died on a trail in the woods. With his last ounce of strength he reached out and put the necklace he wore everywhere in my hands. The look on his face was desperate and serious, he really wanted me to have it...
And that's why I wear this epipen around my neck.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old man is at home on his death bed
When suddenly he smells something amazing. It's the smell of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. And with his last strength, he gets out of bed, and he goes to the kitchen, where his wife of 50 years, is cooking these beautiful chocolate chip cookies. And they are on a plate of four of them, just out of the oven. And with his last human strength, he reaches over to take one of the cookies, and his wife sees him, she rushes over, she slaps his hand, and she says, "No, they are for the f**...."
A man goes for an interview
The first question he faces - "What are your strengths and weaknesses?"
Man - I have a good sense of humor, but my general knowledge is weak.
Interviewer - Okay tell me joke
Man - Knock Knock
Interviewer - Who's there?
Man - The first president of The United States of America
Interviewer - The first president of The United States of America who?
Man - That I don't know
Interviewer : What's your biggest strength?
Me : I'm good at Machine Learning
Interviewer : Okay, what's 21+17
Me : It's 5
Interviewer : Not even close. It's 38
Me : It's 20
Interviewer : I said it's 38
Me : It's 35
Interviewer : It's still 38....
Me : It's 38
Interviewer : Hired!
Every day as i walk to the bus stop I speak with a 93 year old man with alzheimers who sits on his rocking chair looking over his yard with a concerned expression.
He musters his strength and calls out to me "hey.. have y-you seen m-my wife?" And every day i have to tell him "I'm so sorry.. your wife has passed away 10 years ago". Ive considered not telling him but my mornings always feel better after I see the look of sheer joy on his face.
When an interviewer asked me about my biggest strength, I said "I can refuse anyone". He asked if I could explain...
...and I said "No.".
My wife called me an eyesore, when she really meant "sight for sore eyes"
And I'm going to keep telling this to myself so I can maintain the strength it requires to make it through this life.
When my spirit feels weak, I turn to the fourth book of the Bible.
After all, there's strength in Numbers.
