The Best 56 Strength Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Strength jokes. There are some strength determination jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these strength stamina puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Strength Jokes and Puns
A very thirsty man was wandering the desert ...
... when suddenly he spotted a well. With the last of his strength, he neared himself, and started pulling the bucket upwards.
*Water! Water!* he shouted in anticipation
When suddenly, from the bottom of the well, a voice exclaimed
*Where?! Where?!*
A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day.
A gang of snails approach him and beat him up. Herman is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises. Several hours later he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant's office.
"What happened to you? the officer asks.
"A gang of snails beat me up," Herman replied.
"Can you describe what they looked like?"
"I don't know," the sloth says. "It all happened so fast."
A weak little man applied for a job as a lumberjack...
...but the foreman refused to take him because he was too small. "I may look puny," protested the man, "but I'm not. Just give me a chance to show you my strength."
The foreman consented and told the man to go chop down a giant redwood that stood nearby. Half an hour later, to the foreman's shock, the redwood was lying on the ground.
"Where'd you learn to cut down trees like that?" the foreman asked.
"The Sahara Forest," the man answered.
"You mean the Sahara Desert?" the foreman ventured.
"Sure," said that man, "if that's what they call it now."
Texas: The Miracle State
At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas.
After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.
"Say, is this really a healthy place?"
"It sure is," the man replied.
"When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed."
"That's wonderful!" said Bill. "How long have you been here?"
"I was born here."
Strength vs. Intelligence
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of John, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, John had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got."
John reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."
"What is your greatest strength"?
Brevity.
Jesus, Moses, and an old bearded guy are playing golf...
Moses steps up first and lands his ball in a water hazard. He then proceeds to part the water where the ball is and lands it in the hole.
Jesus hits his ball and also lands it in the water hazard. So he walk on the water, picks it up, places it on a nearby lily pad and also lands it in the hole.
Now the old bearded guy steps up and just hits the ball with all his strength. The ball goes flying! It then proceeds to hit a nearby rooftop, bounce along the grass and land on a lily pad. A frog appears and eats the golf ball. Then out of nowhere a bird picks up the frog in its talons and flies off. As the bird flies over the green, the frog spits out the ball and it manages to land the ball in the hole...
After witnessing this Moses turns towards Jesus and says, "I hate playing with your dad."
A Jew is on his deathbed.
Summoning his last strength, he says: "Is my wife Sarah here with me?" And she says "Yes, I am here." He then says :"Are my children here with me?" And they reply "Yes father, we are here with you to see you breathe your last." And he smiles and says:"Is my father and siblings here with me?" And they too tell him that they are here. So the Jew lays quietly for a while and replies "Then who is the light on for in the kitchen?"
An ex-barman has an interview
...to become a teacher.
"What's the greatest strength you can bring to the children?"
"About 60%"
NASA CHICKEN CANON
NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.
British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements are made, and a cannon is sent to the British engineers.
When the cannon goes off, the engineers stand shocked as the chicken crashes into the shatterproof shield, smashes it to smithereens, blasts through the control console, snaps the pilot's backrest in two, and embeds itself in the back wall of the cabin.
The horrified Brits send the Americans a report of the disastrous results, along with an urgent request for suggests on improving the windshield design.
The American engineers respond with a one-line memo: "Thaw the chicken."
A Job Interview... "What is your biggest weakness? What is your biggest strength?"
In my job interview, the interviewer told me I had done very well, and he had two final questions for me...
1) what is your biggest weakness?
2)what is your biggest strength?
I said "Well my biggest weakness is that i have trouble discerning between real life and fantasy"
The interview said "okay then, and what is your biggest strength then?"
I replied " Hmm, either that I can fly, or that I can turn invisible."
You can explore strength collisions reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean strength outdo dad jokes. There are also strength puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Shame to admit, my german grandpa told me this joke
How do you calculate the escape route of a jew?
Chimney Height * Strength of wind
Measure of Attributes
Endurance is being able withstand having tomatoes thrown at you
Strength is being able to throw a heavy tomato
Agility is being able to dodge thrown tomatoes
Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato-based fruit salad.
The god Thor is bored one day and decided to try out having sex with a mortal woman...
He heads down to earth and finds a beautiful young woman. Pouring on the charm, he convinces her to go to bed with him. He goes back to her place and enjoys her in every possible way, absolutely plowing her with all his god-like strength and endurance. 7 hours later, he rolls off. She's laying there, gasping and panting, shaking, and exhausted from the most incredible sex she's ever had in her life. She can't even speak. All she can do is stroke his chest with a trembling hand. He understands her point, though. He was amazing.
"I've got a confession to make," he says. "I'm actually Thor."
"You're thor!? I'm tho thor, I won't be able to thit down for a week!
I was cleaning one of my garden statues and accidentally cracked part of its face
I guess you could say I don't gnome eye own strength
A sloth was walking through the jungle one day when he was set upon by a gang of vicious snails.
The snails left him bleeding and confused at the bottom of a tree. Several hours later he summoned the strength to go to the police station and report the assault.
He was asked by the desk sergeant to describe his attackers. He replied, I don't know what they looked like, it all happened so fast.
A pencil stands face to face against his nemesis, Paper. Will our hero find the strength he needs to overcome his greatest foe?!
2B continued...
Interviewer: What's your strength?
Candidate: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: What's your weakness?
Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.
I was in a job interview.
"What is your biggest strength?"
"I am always on time."
"And your biggest weakness?"
"I get annoyed when my dealer is late."
An interviewer asked me what my biggest weakness was
So I replied "Well I'd say my best strength is my listening skills"
The interviewer asked me, "What's your biggest strength?"
I took a piece of paper out of my pocket and read from it, "My biggest strength is that I'm always prepared."
Interviewer: What's your biggest strength?
Me: I'm a fast learner.
Interviewer: What's 11 * 11?
Me: 65.
Interviewer: Not even close. It's 121.
Me: It's 121.
Interviewer: What's your greatest strength?
Man: I can do math really fast
Interviewer: What's 12 × 7
Man: 54
Interviewer: That's not even close
Man: Yes, but it was fast.
A man told me his strength gains came from eating soy products.
After he said this I wasn't sure whether I thought more of him, or lecithin.
Interviewer: What is your biggest strength?
Me: You tell me...
Interviewer: delegation
Me: Exactly!
What skill requires 90 percent arm strength and 10 percent groan noises
Tennis
I had such a massive hangover this morning, I just stood in the shower for nearly an hour...
Then I summoned the strength to turn it on.
I tried joining a lumberjack site for some strength tips
I couldn't log in.
What is the strength of a magnetic field in space?
1 Tesla.
Inner Strength
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can resist complaints and excessively loud people,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs...
If you can do all of these things, then you are probably a dog
Jesus is on the cross..
..fading fast he yells to his disciple Paul.
"Paul come to me my child. Come to me!"
Paul musters all his strength to break through the crowd.
"Yes my lord, I am coming to you"
Jesus continues to yell for Paul. Paul now crying falls at Jesus feet....
"Yes my lord!!!?"
"Paul, I can see your house from here".
At the job interview
"What's your biggest strength?"
"I'm incapable of understanding criticism.
"That sounds more like a weakness.
"Aw, thank you.
. What did the hot dog say when his friend passed him in the race
A. Wow, I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
Interviewer: What is your greatest strength?
Me: I'm very determined.
Interviewer: OK, we'll call you when we make our decision.
Me: Great! I'll just wait here then.
Iron Man is sexist
The fellas down at Marvel need to create an Iron Woman. She would use her super strength and agility to get even the toughest stains out of my office slacks.
Use any units you'd like (actually happened in a class of mine)
Professor: Anyone want to guess the Earth's magnetic field strength? Use any units you'd like.
Student: *raises hand*
Professor: Yes?
Student: 1 Earth
Why do pirates have such good core strength?
Planks
And Samson said "Lord, why have you given me all my strength in my hair?"
The Lord replied "Because your worth it."
A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs.
It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs.
He sees the cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As he reaches for one, his wife's wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells:
No, you can't have those! They're for the funeral!
I was at the eye doctor with my 92 year old dad and they were asking people if they'd mind answering a few questions while they waited for their appointments. My dad said sure and we sat down in a corner with this lady.
She went through her survey and, at the end, asked him for his greatest strengths and weaknesses.
Well, weaknesses... he said I guess I sometimes have trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality
"And your greatest strength? She asked.
Oh, I'm the Batman
I was by my friends side when he died on a trail in the woods. With his last ounce of strength he reached out and put the necklace he wore everywhere in my hands. The look on his face was desperate and serious, he really wanted me to have it...
And that's why I wear this epipen around my neck.
An old man is at home on his death bed
When suddenly he smells something amazing. It's the smell of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. And with his last strength, he gets out of bed, and he goes to the kitchen, where his wife of 50 years, is cooking these beautiful chocolate chip cookies. And they are on a plate of four of them, just out of the oven. And with his last human strength, he reaches over to take one of the cookies, and his wife sees him, she rushes over, she slaps his hand, and she says, "No, they are for the funeral."
A prisoner called Andrea wants to prove her strength...
So she starts a weightlifting competition and wins! Turns out the powerhouse of the cell is the might of con 'Drea.
Interviewer : What's your biggest strength?
Me : I'm good at Machine Learning
Interviewer : Okay, what's 21+17
Me : It's 5
Interviewer : Not even close. It's 38
Me : It's 20
Interviewer : I said it's 38
Me : It's 35
Interviewer : It's still 38....
Me : It's 38
Interviewer : Hired!
Every day as i walk to the bus stop I speak with a 93 year old man with alzheimers who sits on his rocking chair looking over his yard with a concerned expression.
He musters his strength and calls out to me "hey.. have y-you seen m-my wife?" And every day i have to tell him "I'm so sorry.. your wife has passed away 10 years ago". Ive considered not telling him but my mornings always feel better after I see the look of sheer joy on his face.
Bought some high strength lager. On the label it says Please drink responsibly.
Well, I've got my seat belt on...
When an interviewer asked me about my biggest strength, I said "I can refuse anyone". He asked if I could explain...
...and I said "No.".
Greatest Strength
Interviewer: What would you say is your greatest strength?
Applicant: Yes.
Interviewer: What?
Applicant: Sorry, I thought you asked if I was listening.
What can help strengthen eyes?
Stare-oids
what would you say is your greatest strength
i have strong hindsight
that wont help us much
i see that now
My wife called me an eyesore, when she really meant "sight for sore eyes"
And I'm going to keep telling this to myself so I can maintain the strength it requires to make it through this life.
When my spirit feels weak, I turn to the fourth book of the Bible.
After all, there's strength in Numbers.
An old Jew is on his deathbed.
A 90 year-old Jew is on his deathbed. Summoning his last bit of strength, he lifts his head and whispers: "Is my beloved wife Sarah here with me?" And Sarah says, "Yes, I am here."
He then says: "Are my children -- my wonderful children -- are they here with me?" And they reply, "Yes father, we are here with you to see you breathe your last."
And he says: "Are my brothers and sisters here with me as well?" And they too tell him that they are here.
So the old man lays back quietly, closes his eyes, and says, "If everybody is here ... why is the light on in the kitchen?"
2 hockey players were fighting on the rink. Both were swinging at each other full strength. Until one lands a nice right hander to the jaw and the hockey player lands face first onto the ice. A player on the bench says
"at least he got ice on it right away."
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
How to increase your strength
An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
—Beverly Gross
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the strength prowess jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working strength courage piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.