The Best 72 Streets Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Streets jokes. There are some streets aimlessly jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these streets street fighter puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Streets Jokes and Puns
White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do.
We do it in schools, because we have class.
Which state has the most streets per square mile?
It's Rhode Island.
I saw a homeless guy on the streets and I had 50 bucks on me...
I thought, This'll be wasted on drugs and booze. So I just gave it to the homeless guy.
I've dedicated my entire life to getting prostitutes off the streets
For an hour or so each day.
Why are Paris's streets lined with trees?
German soldiers like to march in the shade.
nuns have desires too
two nuns were riding their bicycles through the back streets and alleys of rome.
one turns to the other and says, "i've never come this way before".
the other nun says, "it's the cobblestones".
Saw a black guy walking the streets carrying a tv and I thought "is that one mine"?...
... then I remembered it couldn't be mine because mine was mowing the lawn at the moment.
The Blind Man
There was a blind man who had lived in a town for many years. Throughout his life he had learned the streets and knew where every building was: the school, the police station, the hospital etc.
One morning he was walking down the street, and he walked to the fish market where he stopped for a moment.
He then took a big breath and said "Good morning Ladies!"
A boy and his dad.
A boy and his dad are walking through the streets
boy: "What does the word drunk mean?"
dad: "Well, for example, do you see those two policemen over there? if you were drunk you would think there are four policemen over there."
boy: "But dad there is only one policeman over there!"
Idea for a board game
BONOPOLY - Similar to Monopoly, but where the streets have no name.
Why so the French line their streets with trees?
So the Germans can march in the shade
You can explore streets intersections reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean streets lanes dad jokes. There are also streets puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Two nuns were riding though the streets
and realised they were late for church, one said to the other "I know a short cut" they zip through back streets and down a cobble stone path, the other Nun says "I've never come this way before!" The fist Nun replies "yeah, it's the cobble stones"
So this bell pepper spots a jalapeño walking on the streets...
and wants to know why he's all wrapped up in layers of clothes. "Hey," he says, "hey, aren't you a bit hot?"
"No," says the jalapeño, "I'm a little chili"
quick historical Russian joke from early 90's
Quick context - Soviet Union just collapsed and Moscow streets are full of desperate people trying to some money to survive. A dialogue between street meat vendor (V), and a potential customer (C):
***
C: Was this meat barking or meowing?
V: It was asking stupid questions.
Why does Paris have tree lined streets?
Because the German army likes to march in the shade.
Kim Kardashian arrives in India for the first time, she walks out of the airport, and to her surprise, everyone on the streets stops, turns towards her, and kneels in humility and reverence
Little did she know, they worship cows over there!
Bono from U2 is the voice of my car's GPS
It sucks. The streets have no names and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
A close call.
Yesterday I was walking on the streets in my hometown Rotterdam, in the Netherlands. I was about to go to the grocery store when I saw a black man running with a TV. I was afraid of it being mine, so I ran home as quick as possible, but luckily mine was still there, polishing my shoes.
My friend is scared of the homeless people he sees on the streets.
I told him to stop being hobophobic.
A jewish couple where walking the streets of Rome on vacation.
They walk past a fancy restaurant and the wife says " mmm that place smells amazing!". The Husband replies " You're right it does smell really good. If you want on the way back to the hotel we can walk by this same place again"
A police officer found two kids walking the streets. One had a battery and the other had a firecracker.
He charged one and let the other one off
Clowns terrorizing the streets. A real life billionaire villain running for president.
We need Batman now more than ever
A touching story of a boy and his cat
one day,a boy named Kevin found a cat in the streets. He touched the cat. Touched it again.
and again.
and again and again and again and again...
told you it was a touching story
Trump did a better job getting people to exercise in 1 month than Michelle Obama did in 8 years
Look at all those protesters on the streets!
I bet dating Zelda would be fun.
A princess in the streets, but Sheik in the sheets.
How do police solve problems in the streets?
troubleshooting
Asphalt...
It's the word on the streets
Never realized how much I take sidewalks for granted.
After all, they've been keeping me off the streets for years.
In an attempt to help the less fortunate, I want to start a charity where people can donate their lightly used weaponry, whether they be guns, knives, tanks, etc so that the poor and disabled can have a sense of security while living on the streets at an affordable price
It could be called the Goodkill
Why are the streets of North Korea so clean?
Because your life is worth more then a gum wrapper!
My girlfriend is a perfect lady in the streets, but an ANIMAL in the sheet!
I wish she'd told me before we started dating. I'm not into lycanthropy.
Western tourist in North Korea
So a western journalist goes on a tour of North Korea. He flies in to Pyongyang, an officially government licensed tour guide shows him around. He sees all the wonderful stores and streets that the city has to offer, and then finally he comes to the magnificent 30-story tall Kim Jong Un monument.
"Wow this is very beautiful, you must be very proud of it!" he said
his tour guide nodded— "yes, we must be very proud."
Protests have erupted in the streets and protestors are throwing pumpkins at police officers
They're going to have to call in the National Gourd
Busy all night
A married couple couldn't make ends meet and ran out of money. They decided since they had to pay the bills the wife would go to the streets to do some hooking.
The next morning she returns with $302 The husband says" Wow, thats great, but which assh*** gave you $2???". "All of them!" said the wife
I'd like to thank the sidewalks
For keeping me off the streets
Be carfeful on the streets tonight. A lot of people are having too many drinks
and let their wives drive.
So a man is released from prison after 15 years...
...and he runs through the streets shouting "I'm free! I'm free!"
A young child watching him responds, "so what, I'm four"
When my grandfather came to America he was told the streets were paved with gold
And when he got to America he found out three things:
1. That the streets were not paved with gold
2. That the streets were not paved
3. That he was gonna be the guy paving them
[old Shelley German joke, told by Lorne Michaels in Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee]
I make a living by sending my talking dog out to the streets to beg for change.
Today, he's come home empty handed. I asked why, but all he says is, "ruff ruff, grrrRRrRrrrr".
I don't get it, he was talking when I sent him out this morning and now he makes no cents.
The President of Iran calls Trump & tells him "I had a dream last night...."
"New York was in ruins & aflame, with Iranian flags flying above."
Trump replies: "Funny, I had a dream last night too. Teheran beautiful and prosperous, happy people celebrating in the streets, with big banners hanging everywhere."
"What did the banners say?", asked the Iranian President.
"I don't know," Trump answers, "I can't read Hebrew."
What do turkeys make their streets out of?
Gobble-stones!
Why are so many of France's streets lined with trees?
Germans like to march in the shade.
The pope goes to meet the Queen of England...
They are parading in the streets of London in a horse-drawn carriage. Suddenly on of the horses let's out a big fart.
Queen: So sorry...
Pope: Oh! If you hadn't mentioned it, I would have thought it was the horse.
I just bought a U2 GPS system for my car
But it's useless. The streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
So Donald Trump was golfing with his buddy the other day
His buddy said, "So I had a dream about you the other night."
"Really?" Said trump, "About what?"
"People in the hundreds of thousands were celebrating and cheering for you in the streets."
"Oh wow. How was my hair?"
"I don't know. It was a closed casket."
Did you know that taxis in Germany can only pick up customers on special side streets?
They're called Deutschland Uber alleys.
A man walks the streets of London
He sees a begar with wooden leg and thinks: a criple, classic... But then he sees that he has a tag: Falkland veteran. The men remembers what was that about and tells himself: This man fought for me, when i was lying at home. So he gives the begar ten pounds.
And the begar answers: Gracias senor, gracias.
A police officer is chasing a hacker
He loses track of him in the streets and asks a passerby:
-Where is he,where is the hacker!?
-I don't know,he ransomware.
I just donated the contents of my wallet, my iPhone X, and my $10,000 Rolex watch to some poor guy living on the streets.
You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he put his gun back into his pocket.
A teenage boy is talking with his friends.
A teenage boy is talking with his friends.
One of them asks - "How would you react if you recognized your favorite actor or actress in the streets?"
He responds - "I doubt I'd recognize them."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't often look at their face."
Which font do the protesters use to paint BLACK LIVES MATTER onto the streets of New York City?
Times Square New Roman.
Yesterday, I saw a man spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him:
"What's the word on the streets?"
Two nuns are riding bicycles through the streets of Rome.
"I've never come this way before" says the first nun.
The second nun replies: "It's the cobblestones."
My dad has taken to walking the streets of our neighborhood dressed as a nun.
We're trying hard to get him out of the habit.
What did the Aristocrat say when he heard the French Revolution happening in the streets?
Oh! What a peasant surprise!!
Two Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome . One leans over to the other and says, "I've never come this way before."
The other Nun whispers, "It's the cobblestones."
Two nuns...
Are cycling the cobbles streets of Paris together.
One turns to the other and says, I've never come this way before .
The other replies, Neither have I but it feels great!
anti crocodile substances
a man was pouring colored water every day on the streets of his town
one day his neigbhour called the police because he was pouring suspicious liquids on the streets
when the police came they asked the man:" what are you pouring on the streets? "
the guy said: "i was pouring anti crocodile liquids "
the officer said:" but there are no crocodiles in this town"
the guy said" you are welcome"
Family had no money left, so the husband sent his wife to work the streets.
She came home in the morning, and her husband asked: How much did you make?
$804 she said
Which idiot gave you $4 ??? he asked
Well... everyone...
The band U2 recently developed a GPS...
It's terrible! The streets have no name, and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!
Did anyone get a U2. Satellite Navigation System for Christmas?
I am returning my one, The Streets have no name.
And I still haven't found what I am looking for.
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells :
I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader! A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him, later he brings the man to Stalin. Soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man : Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets? Man responds: Of course i was thinking about Hitler! ; Stalin lets him go but then he stops the soldier to say: Who were YOU thinking about?
In India, they shit on the streets
In UK, they shit in the Daily Mail and Sun
Did you guys hear about the Sikh man who roamed the London streets at night, looking for children to eat?
Don't worry - it's just a turban legend.
What do you call a guy that urinates on the streets of Europe
European
A wealthy man died and went to heaven.
He was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter who led him down the streets of gold.
They passed mansion after mansion until they came to the very end of the street.
Saint Peter stopped the rich man in front of a little shack.
This belongs to you, said Saint Peter.
Why do I get this ugly thing when there are so many mansions I could live in? the man demanded.
We did the best we could with the money you sent us! Saint Peter replied.
Why does Paris have so many beautiful tree-lined streets?
The German army prefers to march in the shade.
The guy with a silly mustache
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells : I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him, later he brings the man to Stalin.
Soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man : Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?
Man responds: Of course I was thinking about Hitler! ;
Stalin lets him go but then he stops the soldier to say: Who were YOU thinking about?
A boy selling newspapers on the street
Keeps walking around the streets with newspapers while waving one around and shouting: Mass fraud! Mass fraud! One hundred people have been fooled! Mass fraud! One hundred people have been fooled!
One guy quickly runs to the boy and buys a newspaper. as soon as he has it in his hand he starts flicking through the pages.
The boy continues walking while waving another newspaper: Mass fraud! Mass fraud! One hundred one people have been fooled!
I heard this great idea to keep kids off the streets
Sidewalks
My 14 year old made me proud
I was driving them to a friend's house and we were sitting at an intersection waiting for a clear space for me to turn left. It was unusually busy for the side streets we live on and I muttered "where is all this traffic coming from?".
Without hesitation, they said "from the right".
A tear of pride may have been shed
When Catholics accepted the Pope as their leader, some people were unhappy. They came out on the streets with signs and placards.
I think they were protestants.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the streets cross the street jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working streets sesame street piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.