Street Jokes

157 street jokes and hilarious street puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about street that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready to laugh! This article will feature all types of street-related jokes, from a Street Fighter pun to a Street Glide joke and everything in between. Explore the humor in Street Food, Street Sweeper, Street Name, Street Racing, Street Bike, Street Taco, Avenue, Curb and Sirens to name a few. Read on for a good time!

Funniest Street Short Jokes

Short street jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The street humour may include short roads jokes also.

  1. White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do. We do it in schools, because we have class.
  2. I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB That was a trip down memory lane
  3. I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, Wow! That could have been me! Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.
  4. My girlfriend asked me who my favorite vampire is. I replied, "The one from Sesame Street."
    She said, "He doesn't count."
    "Oh I assure you, he does."
  5. What does a racist joke and crossing the street have in common? White people looking both ways before they start
  6. Why doesn't America parade its new military hardware and tanks down main street like other countries? Because they prefer to parade it down main street IN other countries.
  7. I found a bundle of dollar bill in the street. As a devout Christian, I asked myself, What would Jesus do? So I turned it into wine.
  8. A Black Guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim holding a Gay Chicken Walk Into a Bar Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
    The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."
  9. Yesterday I found a 20 dollar bill on the street. I was told to do the same thing Jesus would have done. So I took it and turned it into wine.
  10. For my cake day, I'd like to share my favorite joke of all time. Three guys were walking down the street.
    Two of them walked into a bar.
    The third guy ducked.

Share These Street Jokes With Friends

Street One Liners

Which street one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with street? I can suggest the ones about station and sidewalk.

  1. Wall Street execs to redditors: "This isn't a game. Stop!"
  2. How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto In a bucket
  3. Who would win in a street fight between joe Biden and Donald Trump? Everyone watching
  4. Why did the boomer cross the street? To show how it's done.
  5. Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character? Oscar
    im so sorry
  6. My career as a street fighter didn't last very long... I broke my hand punching a curb.
  7. I want to give a shoutout to the sidewalk For keeping me off the street.
  8. Did you hear about the cheese truck that crashed? The street was littered with de brie
  9. Two magicians were walking down the street... one turned into a store.
  10. A guy on the street stopped me to give me a flier on anger management. I lost it.
  11. There's only one vampire on Sesame Street... At least, only one that counts.
  12. A skeleton walks down the street He sees a hearse and yells "TAXI!"
  13. Why was Freddy Krueger late for work? Cause traffic is a nightmare on Elm Street.
  14. What do you need to make a small fortune on Wall Street? A large fortune
  15. Why did Leonardo DiCaprio visit Sesame Street? It was his only chance to see an Oscar

Walking Down The Street Jokes

Here is a list of funny walking down the street jokes and even better walking down the street puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A man just released from prison was walking down the street shouting, "I'm free! I'm free!"... A little boy yelled back at him, "that's nothing, I'm four!"
  • Yo Momma is so fat... When she's walking down the street, cops driving by scream out, "Hey you two --break it up!"
  • I was walking down the street with my wife.. And i saw my mother in law being beaten up by six men, when my wife asked "Aren't you going to help?" I said "No, six should be enough."
    From Les Dawson.
  • I was walking down the street yesterday when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf. I don't know how anyone could stoop so low.
  • Two atoms were walking down the street. One of them said, "I lost an electron." The other one said, "Are you sure?" and the first one said, "I'm positive!"
  • The other day I saw Denzel Washington walking down the street. I shouted to him ,"Hey Denzel!" He responded, "Does every black man look like Denzel Washington to you?"
    Classic Denzel.
  • I saw two guys walking down the street in matching clothing. I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
  • Two Irishmen are walking down the street looking for a job. One sees a sign that says, "Tree fellers wanted." He turns to his companion and says, "Aye, 'tis a pity dere's only the two of us!"
  • Some kids called me fatty as I walked down the street today. I just turned the other chin.
  • A man is walking down the street dragging 20 ft of rope behind him. His neighbor is curious & asks, "Hey buddy, why you pulling that rope?"
    The man replies, "You ever tried pushing it?"

Crossing The Street Jokes

Here is a list of funny crossing the street jokes and even better crossing the street puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • They were going to name a street after Chuck Norris… Then they realized nobody can cross Chuck Norris and live.
  • A man fixes a lightbulb, crosses the street, and walks into a bar. He tells the bartender: "My whole life is a joke."
  • I hate optimists. They'll jump out of a plane expecting sunshine and rainbows to cushion their fall. Meanwhile, I'll look both ways before crossing the street and get hit by the optimist.
  • Why did the console gamer cross the road? Why did the console gamer cross the road? To render the buildings across the street.
  • Yesterday, I changed a light bulb, crossed the street, and walked into a bar. My life is a joke
  • Why did the vegan cross the road? To tell the people across the street she's vegan.
  • A man wanted to go to the hospital. He asked his mother for directions. She said just close your eyes and cross the street, they will come and get you themselves.
  • There was a street in my town named after Chuck Norris but the council had to rename it. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives
  • There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris in my hometown.... ...but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
  • Why did Sally drop her ice cream while crossing the street? She got hit by a Bus.
Street joke, Why did Sally drop her ice cream while crossing the street?

Cross The Street Jokes

Here is a list of funny cross the street jokes and even better cross the street puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't, the dogs ate them.
  • Why didn't the pc gamer cross the street ? Because he's morbidly obese
  • How did Jesus get to the other side of the street? He used the Cross Walk.
  • A woman asks her husband: Woman: Honey, what if someone on the street tried to hit on me and said: "Hey beautiful."?
    Husband: Help him cross the road! He must be blind!
  • 3 guys walk into a car No not a bar. A car. They were looking at their phones while crossing the street
  • Coronavirus has finally made me less racist Now I also cross the street when a white person approaches me on the sidewalk
  • Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream? He forgot to look both ways before crossing the street
  • Why couldn't Jesus cross the street alone? He had two holed hands.
  • Why did princess Diana cross the street? Because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt.
  • Q: Why did the cow cross the street? A: To get to the udder side.

Street Name Jokes

Here is a list of funny street name jokes and even better street name puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Guy passes a buff guy on the street and asks, "Are you a pole vaulter?" He says, "No, I'm German. How did you know my name was Walter?"
  • The band U2 recently developed a GPS... It's terrible! The streets have no name, and I still haven't found what I'm looking for!
  • John saw a man walking down the street carrying a very long pole. He went over to him and asked him "are you a pole vaulter?" The man replied "no, I am German, but how did you know my name?
  • I saw a guy walking down the street with a large pole I asked him, "are you a pole vaulter?"
    He replied: "No, I'm German. But how did you know my name?"
  • There's a new drug on the street called God, but I'll never use it. I'd never take the Lord's name in vein.
  • I just bought a U2 GPS system for my car But it's useless. The streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
  • Did anyone get a U2. Satellite Navigation System for Christmas? I am returning my one, The Streets have no name.
    And I still haven't found what I am looking for.
  • Idea for a board game BONOPOLY - Similar to Monopoly, but where the streets have no name.
  • Did you know there's a street in England named Harry Styles Boulevard? It only goes in one direction, though.
  • A boy was walking his dog down the street, when one of the neighbors said: Aww! He's so cute! What's his name? "James." he said
    "Yep, that's my name!" said the boy

Street Fighter Jokes

Here is a list of funny street fighter jokes and even better street fighter puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Street Fighter Dad Joke Chun-Li: Can I ask you a question, Ryu?
  • What did Ryu (Street Fighter) say when his step dad asked if he could borrow his lawnmower? Sure you can
  • Which street fighter is the least amicable? The ryudest one!!
  • contrary to popular belief... boko haram is not a street fighter character.
  • What did the gay street fighter say to the Barbie doll at their wedding? I do Ken
  • What Street Fighter character would be a tsundere? B-b-Blanka
  • Street Fighter: What did an angry Ryu say when Ken came up to him and asked if he could go to the upper floor of the dojo? ...Shoryuken!
  • What would you call a Street Fighter player who can bust out the Spinning Pile Driver really fast? SPD Gonzales.
  • My friend asked me if he could borrow Street Fighter. Sure-you-can.
  • Hey do you mind if I play your street fighter game? SHORYUKEN!
Street joke, Hey do you mind if I play your street fighter game?

Cheerful Street Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about street you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean town jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make street pranks.

So a man is walking a penguin down the street...

So a man is walking a penguin down the street on a lead. A policeman sees him and stops the man.
The policeman says, "what are you doing?! Take that penguin to the zoo!"
A week later, the policeman sees the man with the penguin again.
He says, "hey, I thought I told you to take that penguin to the zoo!"
The man replies: "I did! He loved it! We're going to the theme park tomorrow!"

Two nuns went on a bike ride...

...and one says to the other, as they turn down a side street
"I've never come this way before!"
And the other replies
"yes! It's the cobblestones!"

A man and a boy walked into a barbershop together.

After the man got his haircut, he sat the boy in the barber's chair and said, "I'm just going to run around the corner to grab a paper." When the boy's haircut was donw, the man still hadn't returned. The barber said, "It looks like your dad's forgotten about you." "Oh, that wasn't my dad," the boy said, "He just walked up to me on the street, took my hand and said, "Come on, we're going to get a free haircut.""

I saw this cute homeless g**... the street.. I asked her if I could take her home. She smiled and said "sure", boy the look on her face when I walked off with her cardboard box...

A lawyer undergoes heart surgury, and is in bed in the recovery area

As he wakes up, he notices the room is dark, and a doctor is standing there. He asks the doctor, "Why did you close all the window shades?"
The doctor says, "There was a large fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you didn't survive the operation."

A guy stopped me on the street today and tried to sell me a coffin...

I said "That's the last thing I need"

Two men are walking down the street

When they see 3 guys across the road beating up an older woman. Fred turns to George and says
"Hey, isn't that your mother in law over there?"
"So it is." replies George
"Well aren't you going to help?!" Fred asked.
"Nah," George replied, "I think 3 should be enough"

Four men are watching a juggler...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are watching a man do some juggling on the street. The juggler notices that the men can't see very well, and stands on some boxes.
"Can you all see me now?" He calls

A snail walks into a car dealership...

And he asks the salesman about car customization. He shows the salesman a car that he's thinking about buying, but there's something he wants to change about it. The salesman asks him what it is, and the snail tells him he wants the letter 'S' painted on the doors, roof, and windows, as large as possible. The salesman wonders why, and the snail responds:
"Because when I drive down the street, I want to hear people say 'hey, look at that S-car-go!'"

There were 2 blondes...

So I was sat on my porch one day and I saw 2 blondes working hard at the end of the street. One was digging a hole and the other would fill it in immediately after the first was done. This went on for about 2 hours until I walked over and said "Hey, you two are working pretty hard there, but I don't understand what you are trying to achieve?"
To which one of the blondes replied "Well there's usually 3 of us, but the one who plants the trees is off sick today".

A man walks up to a g**... the street

He asks her "would you have s**... with me for a million dollars?"
The girl replies "hmm.. for a millian dollars sure!"
The man asks "would you have s**... with me for free?"
The girl replies "for free? What kind of girl do you think I am?
The man replies "we've already found what kind of girl you are now we are just negotiating a price."

are you sure I'm drunk?

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in pal. You're obviously drunk."
The wasted man asked, "Officer, are you absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah buddy, I'm sure," said the cop, "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness. I thought I was crippled."

I was walking down the High Street with my wife...

... and upon reaching a corner, we saw six men beating up someone. I was going to turn and lead my wife away from the crime happening before us, but suddenly she exlaimed
"Oh my god it's mom! Quick quick! Go and help!"
I turned to her and said
"Nah. I think 6's enough."

Two condoms are walking down the street...

They pass a gay bar and one c**... says to the other "hey, do you wanna get s**...-faced?"

Saw a h**... on the street who said she'd do anything for $50.

Guess who got the front porch repainted.

I saw a raggedy little boy on the street and asked him if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents."

I'm not racist but

I saw a black guy running down the street with a TV and I thought "that's mine".
But then I realized mine is home, polishing my shoes.

A r**...'s father passed away in his sleep

So in the morning, he calls 911 to come pick up the body.
The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
He replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?
There was a long pause and finally he said, "How 'bout if I drag him over to Oak Street and you pick him up there?"

Pedro was driving down a street when...

Pedro was driving down the Panjim street in a swift because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up my whiskey. I will give up gambling and womanising too!!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Pedro looked up again and said," Never mind, I found one ! Sorry I bothered you !!"

A politician is walking down the street when he is suddenly attacked.

The assailant says "give me all your money." The politician says "do you know who I am? I'm an important government official." The mugger says, "fine, give me all my money."

Let me tell you how I became a millionaire: First, I...

...bought one apple for a dollar with my savings. Then I went out on the street and sold it there for two dollars. With the two dollars I bought two apples for 1$ each and again sold them for 2 dollars each. Now I've had 4 dollars and was able to buy 4 apples, which, you may have guessed, I sold for 2 dollars each. Now I've had 8 dollars and I bought 8 apples and so on and so on...
A few days later my aunt died and I inherited her assets.

Two mind-readers bump into each other on the street...

The first one says to the second one: "You're fine, how am I?"

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are watching a street performer.

The performer suddenly realizes that these men have a poor view so he gets on a small platform. "Can you all see me now?" He asks them.

An Old Man is thrown out of a bar

A young man who was walking down the street says "Hey Old-Timer, what happened in there". The old man looks at him and says "Well son, I am Jesus Christ". "Jesus Christ?", the young man replied skeptically. "Yes my son, follow me", the old man said as he walked into the bar.
As he enters, the bartender turns around and says "Jesus Christ! not you again!"

An old political joke from Imperial Russia (reign of Nicholas II)

A man yells in the street: "Nicholas is a m**...!". He is taken away by the police on charges of lese majeste (insulting the monarch). He tells the policemen "Please let me go, I meant another Nicholas!". The police chief replies: "Do not lie. If you said m**...', you certainly meant the Czar!"

Why did the s**... cross the street?

I wore the wrong sock this morning.

Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car

The operator asks for his location.
Jack says I'm outside 28 Eucalyptus Road .
The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, "How do you spell that?"
There's shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end of the phone. Jack? says the operator, concerned. More shuffling and grunting.
Sorry about that says Jack. I just dragged him 'round to 1 Oak Street

A physicist goes to the top of the empire state building and sees a man about to leap to his death

He runs up to him and says, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
Relieved, the man climbs off the edge and follows the physicist down to the street. The physicist then looks at him again and says: "ah... Never mind".

Friend who lives in Russia told me this joke

(English isn't my first language, sorry if the translation isn't the best)
The phone rings at 10 Downing Street.
- Hello, mister Putin would like to speak with Theresa May.
- I'm afraid she's currently sleeping.
- Very well, if she wakes up please tell her that mister Putin would like to talk to her.
- Will do.
- Thank you. *hangs up*
- Wait. What do you mean "if"?

An English man, German, French and Italian are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer

The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded:

Otto the German was driving from Germany to Paris to visit some relatives.

A French cop stops him and asks the usual questions:
cop: name?
Otto: Otto
cop: address?
Otto: 341 Brandenburg Street, Berlin
cop: Occupation?
Otto: no, just visiting...

Why does the blonde have smudges on the inside of her windshield?

She needs to drag her finger across the words as she's reading street signs.
Note: I just made this up. However, please tell me if someone else has a similar one.

My wife shouted at me to go out and find her some tampons, quick!

So, I sprinted to the car, paced down the street, rushed into the store, frantically looking down each aisle until I finally got to the tampons, hurried back to my car and raced home as fast as I could! I burst in through the front door, ran up the stairs, slammed open the bathroom door and shouted, "Walmart, halfway down aisle 10, bottom shelf!"

Today I saw two guys on the street in matching outfits so I asked them: Are you gay?

They arrested me.

A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him.

She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.
At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."
He ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."

A woman was sobbing on the side of the street because she had accidentally locked her keys in her car,

a passing soldier saw this and assured her that he can help.
She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.
Magically it opens....... "That's so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you do it?"
"Easy," replies the soldier. "These are my khakis."

The lesbian couple across the street allowed me to see them have s**... for my birthday.

It's a beautiful and very thoughtful experience, but I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.

Saw a h**... on the street who said she'd do anything for $50

Guess who got the front porch repainted, bathroom retiled and a new deck.

A penguin is driving to the mall...

All of a sudden his engine starts running really rough, and smoke is coming from under the hood. Luckily, there's an auto repair shop right next to the mall, so he pulls in there. The mechanic says he'll be glad to take a look, but he won't be able to get to it for a couple hours. The penguin says fine, and walks across the street to the mall.
He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc. Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic.
The penguin says, "Have you had time to look at my engine?"
The mechanic says, "Yeah, it looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin says, "No, that's just ice cream."

A Dutch joke about the Brits and their love for queues, don't know if it translates well

A Brit walks down the street and sees two queues. He gets behind one of them, and asks the woman in front of him:
What is this queue for?
Just for fun says the women.
But what if I don't want to stand in the queue? The Brit asks.
To which the woman replies that's what the other queue is for

Albert Einstein challenged Mr. Bean

Einstein said to Mr. Bean: "I'll ask you a question.​If you can't answer correctly, you'll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can't answer correctly, I'll give you 1000 dollars.
Einstein: asks a question.
Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar.
Einstein says: Okay, it's your turn.
Mr. Bean asks: What's an animal that has four legs, but when it's crossing a street, it has three legs and when it's on the other side of the street, it has only two?
Einstein: Thinks hard for a while.
Einstein says: I give up. *Gives 1000 dollars to Mr. Bean*
Einstein asks: What is it?
Mr. Bean: gives a dollar to Einstein.

I was recently asked who my favourite vampire was. I said, the muppet from Sesame Street.

They told me, He doesn't count!
I replied, I assure you, he does.

A college engineering student shows up with a new bike

"Woah where did you get such a nice bike?" his fellow engineering student asked.
"I was walking down the street last night and this g**... her bike came up to me started taking off her clothes and said 'its all yours' so I just took the bike" he said.
His friend replied "Good choice bro the clothes probably didn't even fit you"

Soviet Curfew

A man in Moscow is walking home after his day at work and he walks past a security checkpoint. One of the guards calls to him and tells him to stop, but he takes off running. The guard raises his rifle, takes aim, and shoots him dead in the street. The other guard stares at him.
What did you do that for? he asks.
Curfew violation, the other guard says.
Curfew violation? Curfew isn't for another half hour!
I know. That's my friend. I know where he lives. He never would have made it.

A friend asked me who my favourite vampire was.

"That puppet from Sesame Street", I replied.
They told me he didn't count.
I said, "I beg to differ...".

If There's h**... Below …

As a lawyer woke up in the hospital after surgery he asked, Why are all the blinds drawn in here? The nurse answered, There's a fire across the street and we didn't want you to think the operation had been a failure.

I saw a woman drop her purse in the high street this morning, so…

I quickly followed her. As I was just about to tap her on the shoulder she started running for a bus. So I ran after her shouting, "You dropped your purse! You dropped your purse!"
She didn't hear me and proceeded to get onto the bus, so I got on the bus too. As I walked to the back of the bus I breathlessly said, "You dropped your purse on the floor outside McDonald's."
"Thank you so much" she said, "Where is it?"
I said, "I've just told you, on the floor outside McDonald's."

Just met my friend on the street crying his eyes out so I asked him what was wrong

He said "Today is the 2nd of the 2nd 2022 and I just turned 22 so I went to the bookies and put €222 on the second horse in the second race of the day.. It was at 2.22!"
"That all sounds great" I said, "What went wrong"?
"He came second".

911, whats your emergency?

Man: A guy just got hit by a car, i need an ambulance.
Operator: What's your location?
Man: I'm on eucalyptus street.
Operator: Can you spell that out for me?
Man: (long awkward pause)
Operator: Sir? Are you there?
Man: I'm gonna drag him over to pine street and call right back.

A n**... man was walking down the street with a woman on his back

A bloke on the other side of the road asked, "Where are you going?"
The n**... man replied, "To a fancy dress party."
"What as?" asked the bemused gentleman.
"A tortoise", said the n**... man.
"Well, who is the woman on your back?" said the intrigued gentleman.
"Oh, that's Michelle."
EDIT - I changed the first "gentleman" to "bloke." I hope it makes more sense that way.

A disheveled man is busking on the side of the street in London with a sign that says Falklands War Veteran

A well-dressed man notices this and feels bad, having himself been a veteran of the British Army. He pities the busker and tells him, It must be a pity to serve your country and then come home to this. I served in the army, in fact, so I know what it's like. Maybe this will help you out. He then gives the man a rather large stack of cash.
The busker is overjoyed, and as the well-dressed man walks away, he tells him, ¡Muchas gracias, señor!

Two Jewish guys are walking down the street...

Two Jewish guys are walking down the street when they spot a sign outside a church: "Today Only: Convert to Christianity and we will give you 100 bucks cash!"
"I'm gonna do it," o**... tells the other and disappears through the church door.
5 minutes later he's back. "Well, Did you get the cash?" his buddy asks.
"Jeez Is that all you people think about?" comes the friend's reply.

A man is on a street corner in Moscow yelling The president is an idiot

Police surround him and handcuff him. They say it is i**... to insult President Putin
He says You don't understand I mean the Ukrainian president, Zelensky, he is the one I was insulting
The police captain says you can't fool us, everyone knows who the idiot is

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German stop to watch a street performer.

The performer sees them arrive and since they're at the back of the crowd asks them if they can see properly.

A guy walks into a bar on Halloween

A guy dressed in regular street clothes walks into a bar on Halloween and orders a beer. "I'm here for the costume party," he tells the bartender. The bartender looks him up and down, taking in his ordinary clothing and no makeup or wig. "What are you supposed to be?" the bartender asks. "I'm a werewolf," the guy replies. "How's that? You're not dressed up at all," the bartender says. "Well, it's not a full moon tonight, now is it Mr. Smart Guy?" the guy replies.

Husband: I heard a rumor that the postman's slept with all the women on our street, except for one.

Wife: I bet it's that's snooty Priscilla Quinn in Number 12.

A lawyer woke up in the hospital after surgery

He asked, Why are all the blinds drawn in here? The nurse answered, There's a fire across the street and we didn't want you to think the operation had been a failure.

My girlfriend asked me who my favorite vampire was...

I told her it was the dude from Sesame street
She said, "He doesn't count."
I said, "Oh I assure you, he does."
(obligatory cake day joke)

A man walks into a bar and asks for the bill

The bartender looks confused and tells the man he didn't order anything.
The man says I know, but I own the zoo down the street. I heard about the time a grizzly bear, elephant, monkey, tiger, alligator,... walked into a bar. I'm here to pay for the damages.

Street joke, A man walks into a bar and asks for the bill

jokes about street