The Best 35 Street Corners Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Street Corners jokes. There are some street corners jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these street corners puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Street Corners Jokes and Puns

I was walking down the High Street with my wife...

... and upon reaching a corner, we saw six men beating up someone. I was going to turn and lead my wife away from the crime happening before us, but suddenly she exlaimed

"Oh my god it's mom! Quick quick! Go and help!"

I turned to her and said

"Nah. I think 6's enough."

A man and a boy walked into a barbershop together.

After the man got his haircut, he sat the boy in the barber's chair and said, "I'm just going to run around the corner to grab a paper." When the boy's haircut was donw, the man still hadn't returned. The barber said, "It looks like your dad's forgotten about you." "Oh, that wasn't my dad," the boy said, "He just walked up to me on the street, took my hand and said, "Come on, we're going to get a free haircut.""

A blonde was walking down the street carrying a bag..

When another blonde rounds a corner and runs into her.
"My apologies! But what is in the bag, may I ask?"
"Oh, just carrying home some chickens for dinner for me and my husband!"
"If I guess how many chickens are in there, may I have one?"
"Hah ! If you can guess how many chickens I have in my bag, you can have *both* of them!" chuckles the blonde

"Umm.. seven?"

An elephant is standing on a street corner with an erection.

His thing is HUGE, hangs all the way to the ground.

At that moment a mother is taking her son to school and the son looks at the elephant and says "Mommy what is that?"

Mom: "Oh that's the trunk honey"
Kid: "No mom, further back between the legs"
Mom: "Oh that? That's nothing...." and awkwardly changes the subject.

The next day, same elephant in the same condition is on the corner only this time the dad is taking the kid to school.

Kid: "Hey dad, what is that? It's not the the trunk and it's not the legs, it's in between the legs. Mommy says that's nothing."

The dad thinks for a second and then laughs, "Yeah well, mommy is spoiled."

A Priest and a Prostitute

One night, a priest walked up to a prostitute he saw on the street corner.

Hoping to shame her into mending her ways he asked "Young lady, what would your mother do if she saw you here tonight?"

The prostitute went white and replied "Oh, she'd kill me! This is her corner!"


Two guys and their dogs are walking down the street...

...one's got a german shepherd and the other's got a chihuahua.

They get hungry so the german shepherd guy suggests they grab a bite to eat at the restaurant on the corner, but his friend says, "They won't let us into a restaurant with our dogs!"

"Just follow my lead," says the first guy.

He walks up and the maitre'd says, "What are you, nuts?! You can't come in here with a dog!"

"But it's a seeing eye dog," the guy with the german shepherd explains.

"Oh, excuse me, now I understand. Go right ahead," says the maitre'd.

The next guy walks up and the maitre'd stops him too. "You can't come in here with a dog!"

Following his friend's cue the guy says, "But it's a seeing eye dog!"

The maitre'd looks skeptical and says, "Sir - that's no seeing eye dog. It's just a chihuahua."

The guy jumps back in shock... "WHAT!? They gave me a chihuahua!!?"

Best toast in all of Ireland

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me
Life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of
The night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside
Me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
Night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's
Only been in there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by
The ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer...

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,
"Here'sto spending the rest of me Life,
Between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best
Toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the
Prize for the Best toast of The night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life,

Sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking
Buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled
Leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other
night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit
surprised myself. You know, he's only been in
there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by
the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell
asleep".

Boy selling newspapers

A boy is selling newspapers in a street corner when a man walks up to him and says "W-w-what t-t-time is it b-boy?" The boy looks at him but doesn't say anything. "I a-asked you a q-question b-boy, W-w-what t-t-time is it?" Again the boy doesn't say anything. The man is getting angry at this point and says "D-damnit boy, I asked y-you a q-question and I e-expect an a-answer. W-w-what time is it?" The boy still doesn't answer and the man storms off.
Another man comes up and asks why the kid didn't answer and the boy says "And d-do w-w-what? Get the sh-shit k-kicked out of me?"

The aging head of a secluded Monastary decides he will take a walk into the nearby town for the first time in 30 years.

As he's walking down the street he passes a hooker on a corner who says "Hey twenty dollars for a quicky". Confused, he walks past another corner and another hooker says "Hey padre, twenty dollars for a quicky". He has no idea whats going on, so he returns to the monastary and calls the Mother Superior to his office and asks her "Whats a quicky?" She replies "Twenty dollars, same as in town".

Out on the Town

A man is standing naked on a street corner.
A cop walks up and tells him "Sir you can't be doing that here unless you have a good excuse, I am going to take you to jail."

Yes Sir I have a good excuse. I was at my girlfriend's apartment... we started drinking... next thing you know she jumps up and says... "Lets get naked and go to town. "

I guess I beat her here.

You can explore street corners reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean street corners dad jokes. There are also street corners puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My wife ran into the house...

"Guess what!" she said, "I got a new job down the street on the corner.''

''What!'' I replied, ''It better not be what I think it is!...You'll bring shame on the family!.. What will the neighbours say?"

''No, no, stop worrying'' she said reassuring me, ''Not in the Tescos!..... I'm gonna be a prostitute!!

An old Jew is standing on a street corner in Soviet Russia.

He is holding up a poster that says "Thank you, Comrade Stalin for my happy childhood."

A policeman walking the beat sees the poster and says, "Are you trying to mock our Great Motherland? Everybody can see that when you were a child, Comrade Stalin hasn't even been born."

The old Jew replies, "That is precisely why I'm grateful to him."

Two potatoes stand on the street corner. How do you tell which one's the hooker?

It's the one with the sticker that says Idaho!

When I was a kid -

My mum used to send me to the corner shop of our street with a ten-bob note, and for that I'd bring back 6 eggs, 2 bottles of milk, a loaf of bread, 5lb of potatoes and a packet of sweets for me. Trouble is, you can't do that today.....

Too many cameras.

Two potatoes are standing on the street corner. How can you tell which one is the prostitute?

It's the one with the sticker that says IDAHO

A blind man was walking down the street

A blind man was walking down the street with his dog.
They stopped at the corner to wait for the passing traffic.

The dog, at this point, started pissing on the mans leg. As the dog finished the man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a doggie treat and started waving it at the dog.

A passerby saw all the events happening and was shocked. He approached the blind man and asked how he could possibly reward the dog for such a nasty deed.

The blind man replied "Oh I'm not rewarding him, I'm just trying to find his head so I can kick his fuckin' ass."

Two potatoes are standing on the street corner. How can you tell which one is the prostitute?

It has a sticker that says IDAHO.

(I'll hide under a rock now)

Two armed guards were standing at a street corner...

They see a man walking casually on the other side of the street. The first guard raises his rifle and shoots the pedestrian, killing him instantly.

The second guard says to the first, "What was that for?"

"He was out past curfew." Replied the first guard.

"What do you mean?" Said the second guard, "It's not curfew for another hour."

"Yeah, but I knew the guy," Said the first guard, "He could never have made it home in time."


If you see two potatoes standing on a street corner, how do you know which one is a prostitute?

It'll have a sticker that says "Idaho"

So a policeman see's two kids in a street corner

One's drinking battery acid while the other is eating fireworks

So the policeman charged one and let one off

What do you call a noodle on a street corner?

A pasta-tute.

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow...

She stood on a street corner and smiled, and traffic slowed down

why shouldn't you listen to strung out ducks on the street corner?

Because they're quack heads.

I've just spotted a man

..standing on the corner of my street looking through two toilet rolls.

I have absolutely no idea what he's up to.

If only these binoculars were real.....

Two Gals were sitting at the corner talking ...

One saw her boyfriend coming up the street with a bunch of flowers.
"Oh great" she said. " Now I'll have to lay on my back with my legs spread all weekend."
Her friend replied "Why ? Don't you have a vase ?"

Yo' Mama is so fat, when the cops see her on a street corner, they yell, "Hey you guys, break it up!"

If there are two potatoes on a street corner, which one is a prostitute?

The one that is stamped I da ho

Two vampires meet in the street

One have the face full of blood and was licking the corner of the mouth, so the other one said:
-Wow, what a feast! where do you find it?
-Well... do you see that tower behind the church?
-yes
-I didn't

Yo momma so fat...

she don't work the street corner, she work the freeway!

I walked down the street then took a left around a corner...

Then a right, a hook and a roundhouse kick... I hate walking through the hood

Two potatoes on a street corner

There's two potatoes on a street corner. How can you tell which one is the prostitute? It's the one with the little sticker on it that says Idaho!

What do you call a potato on the street corner?

Idaho

I saw a baby standing on the corner of the street in midnight.

I ask the baby "hey baby what are you doing here in midnight", the baby replied "i'm selling weed ni**a".

I like my coffee like I like my women. . .

from the corner of the street and I'm not willing to pay more than $2.40

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the street corners jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working street corners piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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