The Best 73 Stream Jokes

adam and eve finally figured out the whole sex thing...

afterward, adam's kicked back, dazed.

god asks "son, where's eve?"

to which adam replies "she's down at the stream, washing up."

god groans "now i'll never get that smell outta those fish."

How do you kill a hipster?

Drown him in the main stream.

A hipster actually told me this one.

Hipsters never go white water rafting

It's too main stream.

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Why are there no astronauts on Twitch.tv?

Because in space, no one can hear you stream.

Scandinavian open live stream!

So apparently hipster fish wont swim in the thames

they say it's too main stream.

How do you get a hipster to take a shower?

Give them a leaky showerhead.

You know, so they can avoid the main stream.

What do the Greeks sing while at sea?

ρ ρ ρ your boat, gently down the stream...

Where is the best place to stream a suicide ?

On Google HANGout.

Takashi Uchiyama vs Jomthong Chuwatana live.. stream.. watch..Uchiyama vs Chuwatana online.. game.. 1.. free..

Manuel Avila vs Rolly Lunas live.. stream.. watch.. Avila vs Lunas online.. game.. 1.. free..

I'm sitting in a café with a network called "Martin Router King".

What shall I say? I have a stream!

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Tension at work

Local engineer was fired after building a road over a creak further up stream then planned. Dispite his long years of service, it was a bridge too far.

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Where do hipsters fish?

I don't know, just not on the main stream.

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Connecting to a wifi named 'Martin Router King' ...

... and suddenly I have a stream.

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Where do Russians stream movies from?

Nyetflix.

I seem to have this constant stream of bugs trying to hang me.

They're really quite the noose ants.

What streaming site do eldritch horrors use?

Cth-Hulu

Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed?

He didnt use the main stream

What is the best city to stream a movie?

Buffa lo

I had a horrible nightmare that my Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime service all got interrupted. .

Thank goodness it was only a bad stream

I don't understand why Taylor Swift has removed all of her music from streaming services

You can stream Taylor Swift anytime you want just by turning on the radio

What's the best way too kill a Hipster??

throw em in the main stream

What did the fisherman stream?

A rodcast.

I'm so bad at recording myself playing video games that I've earned the nickname "The Enlarged Prostate"...

I guess I've got a weak stream going.

what's the best place to drown a hipster?

in the main stream

Eve went for a bath in the river

God asked Adam, where was Eve? And Adam said Eve is in the stream bathing, and God said oh my I'll never get the smell out of all those fish!

Before Shark week I took my cable box to the urologist

He had a weak stream

Why was the mountain stream laughing?

Because it's banks were hill-areas...

Why is it that YouTube buffers at 240p yet ISIS can stream 4K propaganda videos from a cave?

An old man goes to the doctor to complain about his problem gas.

"It's non-stop," the man tells his doctor. "I just have this *constant* stream of silent gas pouring out of me. It might shock you to know that it's even been happening since I came into your office."

"OK," replies the doctor. "The first thing I'm going to recommend is a hearing test."

Keith Richards recently went to the doctor

They were surprised to have found traces of blood in his heroin stream.

What sort of scientists does Soda Stream employ?

Fizzyscists

What's the best way to watch a Fly Fishing Tournament?

Live Stream

Why can't house flies stream on twitch?

Because they would immediately get swatted.

What do you call a river that hipsters avoid?

Main stream

What word starts with c, ends with um, and is a connected stream?

Continuum

Why do hipsters only swim in tributaries?

Because they're not main stream.

You know you might have a drinking problem...

When you go to the doctor and he informs you that they found traces of blood in your alcohol stream

There's a Greek myth about a stream whose water will attach itself to your skin for all eternity.

The river sticks

Why we rarely see male live streaming masturbation like camgirls?

Because the stream ends in 2 minutes!

hi people i have recently made a channel called ree

i will tell u why to sub

1 i will upload edited and funny videos

2 i will stream battle royale i have over 400 wins

playing with big you tubers

The water problem in Africa is like someone put a sponge block from Minecraft in the stream.

I'm trying to stream Titanic

But it keeps syncing

Couch potato joke

I have a fat roommate that loves to stream but every time he does it he commentates on every little thing! hes such a common tater!

What do you call a voodoo live stream?

Twitch-craft.

There are no hipster lobsters...

...In a Maine stream

Have you ever tried snorting cocaine using Penne?

It gets to your blood stream pasta

Why do the Ghostbusters stick together when they go swimming at the river?

Because none of them want to be across the stream.

A father and son are walking across a small stream

The boy slips falls. His body gets wedged between two boulders, effectively blocking the flow of water. Father says "Dam son" before quickly helping helping him to his feet and they continue on their way.

What is it called when you shoot at a river?

Stream Sniping.

Two blondes are facing each other across a wide stream.

One yells to the other, 'How do you get to the other side?' The other blonde replies, 'You are on the other side!'

You heard about the guys breaking into stores and having sex with all the fruit?

They always come in Pears...

(Was literally just watching a live stream as I thought of this hopefully it hasn't been done before lol)

An elephant is drinking from a stream

An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore. He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle. A passing zebra asks, "Why did you do that?"

"Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun," the elephant said.

"Wow, forty years ago! How did you remember that?" Asked the Zebra

"Well I have turtle recall," replied the elephant.

Due to Covid, only one person is allowed in the bathroom at a time.

Unfortunately, this means a lot less people get to hear how impressively strong my urine stream is.

A Native American boy talks to his father,

Boy: Dad, why is my sister called 'Running Water'?

Father: Son, in our family we have a tradition. When our child is born we name them after the first thing we see in nature. Your sister was born next to a stream.

Boy: Oh ok. So my brother is called 'Soaring Eagle' because when he was born you saw a flying eagle?

Father: Yes that's correct. Hopefully you understand now 'Two Dogs Fucking'.

I was taking a leak and used my stream to kill a fly

Better be the last time I see one of those bastards on my rommate's toothbrush

I finally got out of an abusive relationship

I'm glad, my hands were starting to hurt!


^(Source: SrGrafo stream musings)

what do you call a constant stream of snake people?

lamia flow.

My wife is fed up with my constant stream jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?!" She shot back, "Whatever means necessary!!"

I chuckled, "No it doesn't!"

An eagle is flying over the Grand Canyon when it spies a frog by a stream.

The eagle swoops down and swallows the frog whole, flying off with a full stomach. Somehow the frog makes it through the eagle's digestive tract and pokes his head out of the eagle's asshole.

The frog takes a look around and yells back at the eagle: "Hey eagle. About how high up are we?

The eagle yells back, "Oh about 10,000 feet."

The frog replies, "Really? You wouldn't shit me now, would you?"

There are only two streaming services.

Tubi, or not Tubi.