The Best 35 Stray Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Stray jokes. There are some stray roam jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stray wayward puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Stray Jokes and Puns
My Grandpa told me this one about a crazy dog
I was out at the golf course the other day and there was a stray dog. It ran over to the shed of golf carts and starting licking up some spilled gasoline. Suddenly it started running around and going crazy then it just stopped and fell over. The lady next to me asked, "What Happened?!?" and i told her, "He must of ran out of gas"
How come when I find a stray dog, take it home, and give it a bath everyone calls me a saint...
...but when I do it with a kid everyone just calls me a priest?
Priest and Rabbi
A priest and a rabbi were having lunch and the priest asked, "Have you ever strayed from not eating pork?" The rabbi said, "Well, once, but there was absolutely nothing else to eat, so I had a ham sandwich."
Then the rabbi asked the priest, "Did you ever stray from your vow of celibacy?" The priest said, "Yes, just once."
And the rabbi said, "Sure beats a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"
The Chinese and the dog
A Chinese man, coming home from a long day of work, is walking on the sidewalk. All of a sudden, a stray dog jumps out of the bushes and barks at the man. The Chinese man, appreciating a good laugh, barks back at the dog for fun. The dog stops barking and stands up on his hind legs. The dog , deeply offended, says, "That's very rude. How would you like it if I said Ching Chang Chong?"
I found a stray cat today. Sadly, my dad is allergic to them so I had to put him down.
At least I still have the cat for comfort.
I was helping Animal Control round up a stray dog today, and was hoping to get credit for the catch.
But he got the collar.
How do you find out what gender a stray cat is?
Carefully
Walking Down The Street
One morning, two Englishmen are strolling down a London street, when they see a stray dog licking its own testicles. One of the Englishmen turns to the other and says, "Say, I wish I could do that!" His mate watches the dog for a moment, sighs longingly, and replies, "I should say so! But don't you think you ought to get to know him first?
Why was the track runner with low self-esteem able to complete the race even after being impaled by a stray javelin?
He didn't know he had it in him.
What do you call a misplaced table?
A stray table.
Why do stray cows return to hemp fields?
it's the pot calling the cattle back
You can explore stray wander reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stray keels dad jokes. There are also stray puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
"I saw a stray cat earlier," said my dad.
"How sad..." I replied.
He said, "No idea. I didn't ask him."
Dave and Ronnie noticed no one else was wearing a collar
Then they realized, they were in a stray bar.
Why was the stray dog afraid of meeting new people?
He never learned how to shake
A stray bullet just flew through my window and broke my monitor.
I think there are better ways to take a screenshot...
Do you know how far a woman is allowed to stray from her man in Saudi Arabia?
Just about a stone's throw.
If you are about to euthanize a stray pet...
And a depressed little man with very low self esteem jumps into your arms.
Do you put him down?
A Vietnamese knight encounters a stray dog...
He grips his blade and calls out, "friend or pho?"
A man and his son were walking in the woods, when they came across the two stray dogs having sex.
"What are they doing?" asked the Son. "Well," replied the father, "they are making puppies." The son was satisfied with the answer, continued the walk, ate some ice cream, and went home. Later that night, the son walked into his parents' room only to find them having sex. "What are you doing?" asked the Son. "Well, we are making babies." "Flip Mommy over, I want a puppy."
My uncle got shot by a stray bullet. By some miracle, he had a bible in his jacket pocket.
So he had something to read as he bled to death.
I found a stray dog the other day.
I think it's owner was a blacksmith, because as soon as I brought the thing home it made a bolt for the door.
I found a stray dog that goes by the name of "Tere".
But that's neither here nor there..
I found a stray dog, I think he must have belonged to a blacksmith...
because when we got home he made a bolt for the door.
A cat walks into a bar
And it is then rescued and killed by Peta. Stray animals are a threat in all situations
What do you call someone who is sexually attracted to the killing of stray dogs?
A PETAfile
I was talking to my plumber...
I told him, "Mario, I'm growing a big bushy mustache like yours, so I got this hair trap to prevent the stray mustache hairs from clogging my drain. It's working great, and I'm thinking of keeping the mustache, so I figure maybe I should get some plumbing epoxy and affix the hair trap to the pipes. What do you think?"
My plumber responded, "Listen, if it ain't a-broke..."
Mom: Why don't you talk to John anymore?
Mom: Why don't you talk to John anymore?
Me: If you get to know one of your friends harasses women when he sees them alone, does drugs, throws stones at stray animals and laughs at their misery, gets into fights for no reason, abuses his girlfriend and bunks classes, would you still talk to him?
Mom: No way!
Me: Neither will John.
My humor is so dry...
I'm legitimately worried about stray fireworks this weekend.
Two teenage boys are walking down an alley
when they see a stray dog licking its crotch.
The one boy says, Man, I really wish I could do that.
His friend responds, I don't know, you'd better pet him and see if he's friendly, first.
I got fired from my job for chasing away a stray cat.
Whatever, I never really liked working at the animal shelter anyway.
There was a man who wasn't creative
He named his kids numbers in the order they were born (the first child was 1, second child 2 and so on)
After he had 100 kids , a fire burned his house down leaving only one child. 90
90 grew up and had his own kids that weren't creative and when they saw a stray dog , they took him in and called him 'that'
One hot summer day 'that' was run over by a car
Ofc they replaced 'that' but they never forgot him
Only 90's kids remember that
An art collector walks by a shop and sees a stray cat drinking from a dish that looks very valuable.
The art collector asks the shop keeper if he could buy the cat.
The shop keeper tells him he can have it for $10.
The art collector asks if he could get the dish as well because the cats already familiar with it.
The shop keeper tells him he can't have it because its his lucky dish.
The art collector asks why it is lucky.
The shop keeper tells him its lucky because he has sold twelve cats this week.
So a guy decides to walk to the bar by strolling across an adjacent golf course.
So a guy decides to walk to the bar by strolling across an adjacent golf course. As he walks he picks up stray balls and stuffs them in his pants pocket. Later, seated at the bar he notices the lady next to him staring at the huge bulge in his pants. "Golf balls," he explains. "You poor man," the lady exclaims. "And here I thought my tennis elbow was bad."
A man was late for work and panicking he suddenly hears...
Someone yelling "STOP" the man stopped, not knowing what else to do and just a few seconds later a car crash occurred missing the man by a few inches.
The man, very confused thinks nothing of it and since people came to help, he ran his way because he was really late.
Then just a minute later he hears someone yelling "STOP" and he stopped, just a few seconds later a stray tire crashed into a shop missing the man by mere inches again.
The man now fully frustrated yells back "WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS GETTING MARRIED!?".
I was out mowing my lawn...
I was out mowing my lawn. When I had to stop and refill the mower with gasoline.
The gas can broke and spilled gasoline into a puddle. I went to get some absorbent to clean up the mess but found the local stray cat had lapped up all that spilled gasoline.
I tried catch it, but it went racing around the block, then back into my yard and right up my tallest tree. Then fell right off the top of the tree.
Feeling bad I took the cat to the vet, the doctor gave the cat an exam and I finally asked, "Is the cat alright?"
The doctor replied, "the cat is fine, it just ran out of gas."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stray ocelot jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working stray mutt piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.