Strategic Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Defense supercomputer

A large defense contractor finally succeeded in building a supercomputer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. Military leaders assembled in front of the new machine and were instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They described a hypothetical situation to the computer and then asked the pivotal question, "Attack or retreat?"

The computer hummed away for a minute and then came up with the answer, "Yes."

The generals looked at each other, stupefied.

Finally one of them submitted a second request to the computer, "Yes what?"

Instantly the computer responded, "Yes, Sir!."

A young lady was walking through a field in Scotland...

...when she noticed a man passed out against a tree. Curious of what men wore underneath their kilts, she decided there was no better time to find out. She giggled softly, took her ribbon, and tied it at a strategic location.

The next morning the Scotsman woke up with a terrible hangover and needed to relieve himself. He stood up, lifted his kilt, and noticed a ribbon. He belted, "Laddie, I don't know what it was I was doing last night, but I'm sure glad to see you won a blue ribbon for it!"

What do you get when you cross a mountain range with 40 elephants?

A strategic military advantage against the Romans in the Second Punic War.

"Honestly son, it's all about separation of the whites and the colored with some strategic hanging thrown in...

Other than that, there's not really much more I can teach you about doing laundry."

Pence warns North Korea that the "era of strategic patience is over."

He continued, "Now we enter the era of strategically sending North Korea to its room without the new WiFi password."

Where does a world leader keep their armies?

Around the world in strategic places, were else did you think they would be?

Why is Roy Moore's Strategic Planning Committee headquartered in Disney's Hollywood Hotel?

He likes to keep his staff in something 12 years old.

Trump was obviously joking when he said Space Force

He meant Strategic Defense Initiative Organization Again

A white flag factory near Paris burned down.

The French Army was devastated without its strategic equipment.

Four braggarts in a bar

Julius Caesar, Hannibal, Moses, and Bob are sitting in a bar bragging.

Caesar starts, "I and my army forded the Rubicon to face destiny." The bartender replies, "That sounds like a portentous crossing."

Hannibal says, "I and my army traversed the Alps with elephants to gain a strategic advantage against Rome." The bartender replies, "That sounds like a prodigious crossing."

Moses says, "I and my people parted the Red Sea to walk to freedom." The bartender replies, "That sounds like a preternatural crossing."

Bob says, "Me 'n' me mates went over the street for kebabs." The bartender replies, "That sounds like a pedestrian crossing."

What are the funniest strategic jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Strategic? Well, here are the best Strategic puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Strategic pick up lines to share with friends.

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