The Best 35 Strap Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Strap jokes. There are some strap dick jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these strap dildo puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Strap Jokes and Puns
51 Danes and 50 Norwegians were on a plane...
With no floor, and the passengers were hanging on a strap attached to the roof. The captain yelled: "The plane is too heavy! One of you have to fall to your death!" A Dane raised his hand and said: "I'll do it". Then all the Norwegians clapped their hands.
A man is sentenced to 15 years in prison, but escapes after only 3 days
He's taken in front of a judge, who orders the prisoner to explain his actions. The prisoner says "Well your honor, the first day, they gave me a comb, then shaved off all my hair. The second day, they gave me a tooth brush, then pulled out all my teeth. The third day, they gave me a jock strap, I went over the wall". "Case dismissed" declares the judge
A police officer pulled over an Amish couple in a buggy
"Sir, I'm going to need you to remove the strap from around that horse's testicles. That's just inhumane."
"WHAT'S HE SAYIN'?", the old man asked his wife.
"I think there might be something wrong with the emergency brake."
Teacher and her 3 boy students:
Teacher: Why did you laugh?
Boy 1: I saw a strap of your bra.
Teacher: You are punished to stay out of school for one week.
Boy 2 laughed…
Teacher: Why did you laugh?
Boy 2: I saw your bra straps.
Teacher: You are punished to stay out of school for one month.
Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class…
Teacher: Why are you leaving?
Boy 3: I think my school days are over.
A man goes to buy a Christmas Tree...
... After the salesman rings him up and helps him strap it to the car, he asks, "were you planning on putting this up yourself?" to which the man responds, "Actually, I was thinking of putting it in the living room."
Teacher: why did you laugh?
Teacher: why did you laugh?
Boy: I saw one strap of your bra.
Teacher: get out of the class for 1 week.
Two boys laughed, Teacher: why did you laugh:
boys: I saw both straps. Teacher: get out for 1 month. She bent down to take chalk, jony started walking out.
Teacher: jony, why you are going out?
Jony: what I just saw I think my school days are over.
Suicide bombers and Astronauts
When you think about it Suicide bombers and Astronauts are very similar,
They both strap themselves to explosives and hope to end up in a better place.
Every now and then I see something that brings a little tear to my eye.
Last night it was my wife wearing her strap on.
Strap-on backwards spells No-parts.
Husband: Hey baby, hold my jock strap.
Wife: That's disgusting why would I hold your jock strap?
Husband: Well I always hold your purse for you.
Wife: That's not remotely the same.
Husband: Why not, they both hold our junk.
Credit to /u/WhistleWhileYouLurk.
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
Strap a steak to the ceiling
You can explore strap pouch reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean strap gimp dad jokes. There are also strap puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A Father comes home from work
To find the tv broken and his wife looking furious with their child.
"What happened?" The father asked.
"Our son broke the tv playing the Wii" she replied.
"Did he have the strap on?"
"No, I thought Id let you punish him"
What's the difference between my broken watch and a lesbian?
My watch hasn't got a strap on.
Today a minute tick tried to latch onto my arm near the hand...
... but the strap was too tight. Not under my watch, lil bloodsucka.
My eyesight improves if I strap an address book to my face.
I wear contacts.
It's quite ironic that "strap on"…
…backwards, spells 'no parts'…
In jihad training
A man learns how to detonate and conceal explosives.
In order to test how good he is at concealing them, he decides to strap some to himself and walk around the camp. Now knowing they were attached to a remote detonator, he suddenly blows up.
After he dies he sees an old friend he left when going to train for jihad.
"How did training go?" Asked his old friend.
"Not too sure, I think I bombed it."
Why do crocs have a strap on the back of them?
So they stay on during sex.
When I'm bored I love seeing how many different watches I can strap onto my wrists.
I have too much time on my hands.
The Furious Teacher (NSFW)
Teacher: "Why are you giggling?
Boy: "I saw a strap of your bra."
Teacher: "Get out! Don't come back for a week!
Another boy laughs...
Teacher: "Why did you laugh?"
Boy: "I saw both straps of your bra."
Teacher: "Get out! Don't come to class for a month!"
The teacher bends to pick a chalk, and little Johnny starts walking out of the class.
Teacher: "And where do you think YOU'RE going?"
Johnny: "With what I saw, I think my school days are over."
Strapped For Cash
During college, I worked on
a conveyor belt. One day, I was
on a blind date, and she asked me about my job.
I work at the end of a belt, I said.
With an ebullient smile, she asked, Are you the buckle?
My wife and I were having some marital issues but we have moved on.
We have been doing it doggy style a lot lately, too much if you ask me. I guess I shouldn't complain. Her strap on, her rules.
I went for a romantic break with the wife
She came out of the bathroom and said "take off my dress"
As I peeled off her dress, she said "take off my bra"
My hands trembled as I unclasped the strap. Then came "take off my knickers"
I slowly pulled them down, and she shouted
"and I don't ever want to catch you wearing them again!"
You're in the Army Now
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a South Alabama man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
What do you call an Arabic strap on?
Explain this Flat-Earthers!
If the Earth is flat, why do Australians have to strap everything including themselves to the ground in order to not fall up?
How do lesbian couples open jars with no man in the house?
They use a strap wrench
Feminism
Since feminism is now big thing in India .I convinced my wife that I am a 'Feminist'. And Now she just ordered strap on and said ''Prove it''
Help please 😲😲😲
What if we strap tiny C4 to rats and send them over to Europe...
it would start an all new Boombonic plague.
Strap on is just...
No parts spelled backward.
What does a handsome jock and a beautiful lesbian both have in common?
...they both have a strap to put on!
Jokes
Vegan hot dogs are basically the strap on of food .
You want the sausage but not the meat
Has anyone else noticed that strap on
Is No parts backwards. How ironic
If a bra is an over-the-shoulder-Boulder-holder, what do you call a jock strap?
An under-the-butt-nut-hut!
Masks are like bra.
If the strap slipped and it is not at place, people keep pointing out
and if you entirely forgot to wear one in public, people go on staring like hell.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the strap buckle jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working strap shoelace piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.