Strangle Jokes

• Short Strangle Jokes
• Strangle One Liners
• More Strangle Jokes

Funniest Strangle Short Jokes

Short strangle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The strangle humour may include short choked jokes also.

1. Holding down the power button until my device turns off feels like strangling someone until they stop breathing. Except I usually hope my device turns back on.
2. People think I'm an idiot because I really enjoy getting strangled. But, really, it's quite breathtaking!
3. Did you guys hear about the serial killer who's using smaller and smaller socks to strangle each new victim? Be careful, they say he's still at large.
4. Did you hear about the guy that was strangled to death with his own underwear? Reports say it was a Haines crime.
5. I think if I saw God strangle Satan right now... ...it would only be the second biggest choke I've seen tonight.
6. I read a story about a Florida man named Arti that was paid a buck to strangle 2 innocent people in a Safeway parking lot... Oddly enough, the headline was "Artichokes 2 for $1 at Safeway"
7. As I looked at the liposuction tube I realized it could be used to strangle someone... ...making it a weapon of mass reduction.
8. Conversation with my Dad. Me: "The teacher was talking about strangling a student today!"
   Dad:"She was probably just choking."
9. I heard that my upstairs neighbor was a vet, so I brought him my dog for a well visit. Turns out he was a Vietnam vet, and he ended up strangling the dog after it started to bark at him.
10. When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
    He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.

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Strangle One Liners

Which strangle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with strangle? I can suggest the ones about tie noose and noose.

1. Women are like necklaces They strangle me when i try to sleep with 'em.
2. I just strangled a mime.... With a cordless phone.
3. How do you make a blueberry? You strangle a pea.
4. My mother died suddenly from natural causes. I strangled her with kelp.
5. Comedian MMA fighter strangles man with a jokehold
6. I saw a food strangling another food with two paintbrushes. It was an artychoke
7. What do you say when you see a Chelsea winger strangling someone? Choking Hazard
8. A beautiful woman tried to strangle me today. She really took my breath away.
9. Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.
10. Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
11. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
12. What do you call someone who's been strangled to death with Ethernet cables? Throttled.
13. What do you call a Scotsman that's been strangled to death by his own clothing? Kilt.
14. I've got a problem with people who are into b**...
    I just want to strangle them.
15. Why do r**... have red necks? From provoking everyone else they meet to strangle them.

Comical & Quirky Strangle Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about strangle you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean swallow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make strangle pranks.