The Best 15 Strangle Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Strangle jokes. There are some strangle drown jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these strangle artemis puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Strangle Jokes and Puns

I've got a problem with people who are into BDSM

I just want to strangle them.

Women are like necklaces

They strangle me when i try to sleep with 'em.

I just strangled a mime....

With a cordless phone.

Strangle joke, I just strangled a mime....

8:45 PM, Arrive at the crime scene

- 8:45 PM, Assess victim. Cause of death: strangulation, victim's phone and wallet are missing
- 8:45 PM, Gather evidence. No visible fingerprints, rope used to strangle the victim was found in a nearby trashcan
- 8:45 PM, Question witnesses. One witness states the murderer was driving away in a blue Ford Mondeo
- 8:45 PM, Realise watch is broken. Amazon estimates a 2-3 day wait for a new watch

How do you make a blueberry?

You strangle a pea.


Did you guys hear about the serial killer who's using smaller and smaller socks to strangle each new victim?

Be careful, they say he's still at large.

Why do rednecks have red necks?

From provoking everyone else they meet to strangle them.

Strangle joke, Why do rednecks have red necks?

I think if I saw God strangle Satan right now...

...it would only be the second biggest choke I've seen tonight.

I waste so much time trying to strangle myself for pleasure when I should be being productive

I wish I'd never got into autoerotic procrastination.

I read a story about a Florida man named Arti that was paid a buck to strangle 2 innocent people in a Safeway parking lot...

Oddly enough, the headline was "Artichokes 2 for $1 at Safeway"

As I looked at the liposuction tube I realized it could be used to strangle someone...

...making it a weapon of mass reduction.

You can explore strangle restrain reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean strangle ifunny dad jokes. There are also strangle puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


There was a man who loved to strangle people for money.

He was offering people a fair price in gold for them to be strangled by his mighty hands, and as a request, he asked his customers to write a review of his work. And all the reviews said:

Thanks for the gold, kind strangler!

A beautiful woman tried to strangle me today.

She really took my breath away.

Chris Christie is running for president...

craziest thing he's done since he let Leia strangle him.

People thought they were safe with cordless phones

But Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the strangle musket jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working strangle suffocate piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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