The Best 49 Strangers Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Strangers jokes. There are some strangers cooties jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these strangers stranger things puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Strangers Jokes and Puns
Do you give head to strangers?
Or should I introduce myself?
I got on the bus, sat down and noticed a beautiful blonde Chinese woman crying in the seat across from me...
I moved over and asked her why she was crying.
"I don't usually bare my soul to strangers," she said.
I replied that sometimes it was perfectly fine to tell your story to a perfect stranger. She nodded and said, "I just came out of my therapist session and he says there is no way to cure me."
I asked what exactly was her problem. She said, "I'm a nymphomaniac, but I only get turned on by Jewish cowboys. You know, I do feel better. By the way, my name is Kim."
"Glad to meet you," I said. "My name is Bucky Goldstein."
-----
Steve Wright
What did the two vegan strangers say to each other?
Nothing. They didn't meat.
What do you call a Mormon who likes to smoke, drink, swear and have sex with strangers?
An oxymormon.
Why aren't there any introverted suicide bombers?
They have a hard time sharing what's inside with strangers.
What game do two strangers with Social Anxiety play?
Don't Break the Ice
Stages of man's sexuality [OC]
1. Puberty: masturbating in secrecy and shame.
2. Early adulthood: comfortable masturbation in your room and some casual sex with strangers.
3. First serious relationship: wild sex all the time.
4. First years of marriage: steady and regular sex.
5. Marriage after children: masturbating in secrecy and shame.
![Strangers joke, Stages of man's sexuality [OC]](/images/jokes/strangers-jokes-a-stranger-just-came-up-to-me-and-told-me-she-was.jpg "Strangers joke, Stages of man's sexuality [OC]")
The Wizard of Oz, synopsis.
Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again.
If you're ever having trouble talking to strangers...
...I hear global warming is a great icebreaker.
A kid in the park told me smoking was bad for me
So I popped his ballon with my cigarette and informed him so was talking to strangers.
The kindness of strangers
An old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. The driver, being polite, accepts and munches them.
Every 5 minutes she gives him a handful more peanuts.
Driver : Why don't you eat them yourself ?
Old lady : I can't chew them. Look, I have no teeth.
Driver : Then why do you buy them ?
Old lady : Oh, I just love the chocolates around them.
You can explore strangers verizon reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean strangers include dad jokes. There are also strangers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I like to hold hands at the movies.
Which always seems to startle strangers.
If it weren't for marriage,
women would have to spend most of their adult lives arguing with complete strangers.
Why are poodles suspicious of strangers?
Because they're afraid of running into a poodaphile.
I don't understand Facebook.
If I wanted to convince complete strangers that my life was better than theirs I'd become a rapper.
A woman was having a shower
When the doorbell rang.
"It's me, the blind man."
And she didn't open the door because she has public decency and doesn't stop her showers for strangers.
I told her she has the most beautiful eyes and she started screaming...
Apparently she doesn't like to be woken up by total strangers.
What's the difference between a monkey flinging poo at the zoo and someone posting political memes on Facebook?
Answer: One is the sad, desparate attempt of a poor creature with little freedom to get attention from strangers, and the other is just something animals at the zoo do when they're bored.
Two strangers are introduced
"you have such a lovely name"
"thanks, I got it for my birthday"
I was walking down the road and a man offered me a free sofa and chairs.
I said no because my mother always told me not to accept suites from strangers.
My mother told me not to talk to strangers
My father was wondering why I didn't talk to him.
Yesterday, I surveyed strangers and asked them which gender is more complicated.
Half of the women are still answering.
Arguing with strangers online is like wrestling sharks
Even if you win, it was a really stupid thing to do.
2 strangers have a one night stand
The next morning, when both were awake, the woman turned to the guy and asks gently:
"Are you going to make me breakfast or do you suck at that too?"
My mum said to me, "You're 25. Why aren't you driving yet?"
I said, "You always told me not to get into cars with strangers."
"What does that mean?" she asked.
I said, "I don't know any examiners."
A joke on telemarketers from Seinfeld
**Jerry:** This isn't a good time.
**Telemarketer:** When would be a good time to call back, sir?
**Jerry:** I have an idea, why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you back later?
**Telemarketer:** Umm, we're not allowed to do that.
**Jerry:** Oh, I guess because you don't want strangers calling you at home.
**Telemarketer:** Umm, no.
**Jerry:** Well, now you know how I feel.
2000: Don't talk to people on the internet or get into stranger's cars
2017: Literally talk to strangers online to get INTO their cars.
Think New Yorkers don't get along? I just saw two complete strangers share a cab...
One took the wheels and tires, the other took the battery and the radio.
Why do Jehovah's Witnesses hate Halloween?
They have to compete with other strangers going door-to-door.
Why do baseball players sleep with random strangers?
Because they like to swing
"Hey there little boy, wanna try some ether? Hop into my van"
My mommy told me not to trust strangers
"Don't worry kid, this is a trustless smart contract van"
Dating these days
Boy: Hi
Girl: What?
Boy: How are you?
Girl: Do I know you?
Boy: I'm Rich..
Girl: Oh! Hi. My name is Mary but you can call me "Baby" I'm 19 & I am very submissive. I love short men, especially like you & I'm glad to meet you. So, when are we going out?
Boy: No, no, no "Rich" is my name
Girl: Sorry I don't talk to strangers
If someone hands you 100 grand, what do you say?
I don't take candy from strangers.
I've always said candy tastes best coming from strangers.
None of the kids at the playground listened to me though.
Why do certain people repeatedly fondle strangers?
They truly believe that there's nothing in life they can't handle.
Just sneezed around some very polite strangers.
#blessed
I have the bad habit of asking internet strangers for advice
Do you guys have ideas on how I can stop doing this?
Old western stranger
An old man sitting at the edge of an old western town sees a silhouette approaching from the dusty horizon. Its not long before he realizes that it is a 3 legged dog limping toward him. The old man shouts a warning to the dog "we dont take kindly to strangers around here". The 3 legged dog limps like john wayne while slowly raising his gaze up to look straight into the old mans eyes with a piercing stare and says" Im lookin for the man who shot my paw"
I picked up a hitchhiker the other day...
As he got in my car he said: Thanks for stopping. Aren't you afraid to pick up strangers, though? I could've been a serial killer for all you know
Nah , I said. The odds of two serial killers being in the same car are astronomical
2 strangers are sitting on a train.
As they pass a cow field. One man says to the other, "What a nice field, man having 143 cows must be a lot of work"
The other man, astonished, replies "Wow, I happen to own that field and how did you know there were exactly 143 cows?"
The man replied "Easy, I counted the legs and divided by 4!"
Mom always told me not to talk to strangers.
Especially the ones she brings home while Dad's at work.
A women was drinking in a bar.
She blacked out and woke up with her clothes off in a strangers bed.
How did this occur?
Cause A : she got black out drunk and slept with someone.
Or Cosby?
My 35 year old friend and his 22 year old girlfriend had their meal out completely ruined by strangers judging them for their age gap.
It completely ruined their 10 year anniversary.
Do you think only sadists drive VW Beetles?
Just to drive around and watch strangers punch each other.
As I was driving underground with strangers, my wrist began to hurt
It must be carpool tunnel syndrome
Quarantine has turned us into dogs.
We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told "no" if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.
Why do men name their dicks?
Because they don't like strangers making all their decisions for them.
My mother has the biggest boobs in the world
My mom always get raging mad whenever I mention that she has the world biggest boobs. She tells me that is improper to be introducing my two brothers to strangers like that and I should instead introduce them by their proper names.
I'm really worried about the Facebook hack.
The thought of random strangers having access to my personal details creeps me out.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the strangers stranger danger jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working strangers monsters piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.