Stranger Jokes
125 stranger jokes and hilarious stranger puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stranger that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Read this article to find out the funniest stranger jokes! Perfect for those who love Stranger Things, the jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. From stranger danger to the foreign, these jokes are sure to make you wih, awe and laugh.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Stranger Short Jokes
Short stranger jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stranger humour may include short foreigner jokes also.
- What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car? A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.
- I'm assuming that none of the Jenners ask Kylie to make breakfast. Since she can't even beat an egg
- Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told "no" if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.
- My grandpa warned people the titanic would sink and no one listened. He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.
- What did the redditor say after a stranger gave him a piece of explosive gold? Thanks for the gold, kind stranger
- My daughter told me I should treat her like a princess So I married her off to a stranger in order to secure an alliance with the French.
- My girlfriend told me that she wanted to be treated like a princess... So I married her off to a stranger twice her age to strengthen my alliance with France
- I just found out that Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't like random strangers showing up at their door.
- My wife said, The Last of Us is a strange show, don't you agree? Me: Yeah, but I've seen stranger things on Netflix.
- My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Dr. Strange for movie night, but I said no. I had Stranger Things to watch.
Share These Stranger Jokes With Friends
Stranger One Liners
Which stranger one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stranger? I can suggest the ones about stray and passerby.
- Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888 So when someone ask tell them it's 12345678
- Do you know how to avoid clickbait? Apparently not.
-
- What do you call children born in whorehouses? Brothel sprouts
- A stranger just came up to me and told me she was vegan... I swear I've met herbivore
- Stranger: "Bob? Is that short for Robert?" Bobert: "No."
- I wasn't too impressed by Dr. Strange.. I've seen Stranger Things.
- What did the two vegan strangers say to each other? Nothing. They didn't meat.
- Why should one not talk about Titanic with a stranger? Because it can't break the ice
- Do you give head to strangers? Or should I introduce myself?
- What's a kidnapped child's favourite Christmas Carol? Away with a stranger
- A Reddit user robs a bank. Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
- What did the redditor say to the leprechaun? Thanks for the Gold, kind stranger!
- What was Jesus' first words? Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
- What game do two strangers with Social Anxiety play? Don't Break the Ice
- Why is the Stranger Things Christmas special going to be lame? Noel
Stranger Things Will Jokes
Here is a list of funny stranger things will jokes and even better stranger things will puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My friend asked me if I wanted to watch Dr. Strange. I declined because I have Stranger Things to watch.
- Did you hear that the next season of Stranger Things will be shot in Australia? The kids have to defeat a monster from the Right Way Up.
- A Demogorgon, a Dungeon Master and a Sherriff walk in to a bar. My friend shouts "Wow! I've never seen anything like this. Isn't this amazing?!"
I replied "Nah, I've seen Stranger Things." - Why would you think a show about children and monsters is weird? Honestly, I've seen stranger things
- I can't wait to read the BuzzFeed article on "20 Things You Will Love about Stranger Things" Eleven will blow your mind!!!
- Netflix has been making some questionable decisions on its content Then again, I've seen Stranger Things
- A vegan, a feminist, and a Stranger Things fan walk into a bar... I only know because they told everyone within two minutes...
- What's the difference between Netflix and a Bass guitar? Netflix has Stranger Things 4 and a Bass guitar has 4 Strange Strings.
- I finally watched that Netflix sci-fi show that everyone is watching... I keep hearing from everyone that it's a very wierd show, but to be honest, I've seen stranger things.
- Last night my wife told me, "That was entertaining. I wish it was longer..." "Now I have to wait another year until Stranger Things season 3"
Stranger Things Jokes
Here is a list of funny stranger things jokes and even better stranger things puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- TIL That in 2014 Netflix announced they wouldn't be pursuing science-fiction themed original content. But Stranger Things have happened.
- I saw my sister watching the show "Dexter" yesterday.. I thought it was a pretty weird show, but then again, I have seen stranger things on Netflix.
- I'm really confused by the fact people judge me for refusing to pay for Netflix... I mean, I've seen Stranger Things.
- I didn't believe it when they told me the government had accidentally opened a portal to another dimension while trying to spy on the Russians... But I guess stranger things have happened.
- Was this whole Superbowl a Tide ad? I've seen stranger things.
- Wynona Ryder was great in Stranger Things. She stole the show
- What's Elevens [Stranger Things] Favourite Disney Song? Let Eggo, Let Eggo...
- What is Finn Wolfhard's (Mike Wheeler from Stranger Things) favorite band? Finger Eleven
- Now that those Thai kids are out of the cave, I can't wait for the movie version where they're all played by those kids from Stranger Things.
- I saw Stranger Things has 6 golden globe nominations... Should have Eleven.
Stranger Danger Jokes
Here is a list of funny stranger danger jokes and even better stranger danger puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Jesus had a twin that was abducted shortly after birth In other words, there was doppelganger stranger danger in the manger.
Cheerful Fun Stranger Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about stranger you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean traveler jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stranger pranks.
By legalizing Cannabis and same-s**... marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:
**"A man who lays with another man should be s**...."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]
Edit1: a typo
Edit2: thanks for the gold humorous stranger!
I got fired from the s**... bank yesterday
Apparently you're not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say, "get a load of this guy" every time someone walks in.
Long John Silver just donated us one of his crew members.
Thanks for the stranger kind silver!
I can tell bad jokes too - A dog limps into a saloon...
As the batwing doors swing closed behind him, the patrons turn to eye the stranger up.
The dog c**... looks around the dim, smoky room and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Help! I need a push!
A man and his wife were awoken at 3am by a pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a
drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 in the
morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife..
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife.
"Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you!" asks the husband
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.
A man and woman live in a two story house.
A man and woman live in a two story house and sleep on the second floor. At 3 a.m. they're awakened by a knock at the front door. The man goes to the window, opens it and looks down but can't see anyone.
"Who's out there?" he asks.
A voice says, "Please help me. I need a push."
"I'm sorry," the man says. "I'm not leaving my house at this hour."
He gets back into bed. His wife says, "Honey, don't you remember when our daughters were stuck in that bad part of Oakland at 3 in the morning, and if that stranger didn't give them a jumpstart, they would been there for hours?"
"Yeah, you're right," the man says. He gets out of bed and returns to the window. "Are you still down there?" he asks.
"Yes."
"Do you still need that push?"
"Yes."
"Where are you?" the man asks.
"I'm over here on your swings."
God Loves Drunks Too
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too."
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing set," replied the drunk.
I got on the bus, sat down and noticed a beautiful blonde Chinese woman crying in the seat across from me...
I moved over and asked her why she was crying.
"I don't usually bare my soul to strangers," she said.
I replied that sometimes it was perfectly fine to tell your story to a perfect stranger. She nodded and said, "I just came out of my therapist session and he says there is no way to cure me."
I asked what exactly was her problem. She said, "I'm a nymphomaniac, but I only get turned on by Jewish cowboys. You know, I do feel better. By the way, my name is Kim."
"Glad to meet you," I said. "My name is Bucky Goldstein."
-----
Steve Wright
So a r**... picks up a hitchhiking serial killer
Killer: "Turn down that dark road."
r**...: "I was planning on it..."
Edit - Thank you magnificent stranger for gold!
Mess with someone's mind
Make your day more fun by going up
to a stranger and asking "Hey, how
have you been since the amnesia?"
What do you call a m**... who likes to smoke, drink, swear and have s**... with strangers?
An oxymormon.
Why aren't there any introverted s**... b**...?
They have a hard time sharing what's inside with strangers.
This was once voted the UK's funniest joke...
A woman and her baby gets on a bus. The driver stops her at the door and says:"you have the ugliest baby I've ever seen!".the woman storms to the back of the bus, fuming. She sits down next to a stranger and says:"that bus driver just insulted me" The stranger then says:" That is absolutely not on! You go and sort him out and I will hold your monkey for you!"
Stages of man's sexuality [OC]
1. Puberty: m**... in secrecy and shame.
2. Early adulthood: comfortable m**... in your room and some casual s**... with strangers.
3. First serious relationship: wild s**... all the time.
4. First years of marriage: steady and regular s**....
5. Marriage after children: m**... in secrecy and shame.
I walked in from work today and my wife was
sitting on the sofa with my girlfriend.
I said, "What's going on?"
"You tell me?" replied my wife.
I said, "I don't know, you're sitting on the sofa with a stranger."
"A stranger, eh?" shouted my girlfriend, "I'm no stranger, we've been having s**... for six months!"
I looked at my wife and said, "Is this true?"
A kid in the park told me smoking was bad for me
So I popped his ballon with my cigarette and informed him so was talking to strangers.
The kindness of strangers
An old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. The driver, being polite, accepts and munches them.
Every 5 minutes she gives him a handful more peanuts.
Driver : Why don't you eat them yourself ?
Old lady : I can't chew them. Look, I have no teeth.
Driver : Then why do you buy them ?
Old lady : Oh, I just love the chocolates around them.
Old couple goes to a fast food restorant.
They order one burger and fries, sit down and divide the burger and fries. A man from table next to them sees that and asks politely: "If you want, I can buy some extra food for you." "No thanks, we are a old couple, we share everything." Time goes by and the man is eating, but the woman is not. From the table next to them, the man asks again:"I really have no problem buying you food." Man replies:"Dodnt worry about it, she will eat! We share everything" But the stranger is not happy with that and asks the woman:"Why are you not eating?" Woman looks at him and says:"I am waiting for the teeth."
I would like to thank the kind stranger I met on the bus this morning for teaching me the meaning of the word 'abundance'.
It means a lot.
I don't understand Facebook.
If I wanted to convince complete strangers that my life was better than theirs I'd become a rapper.
Guy gets on a city bus...
and sits down next to a really hot girl. The bus bumps and her glass eyes falls out of its socket and the guy catches it. To repay him for catching her eye and due to the awkwardness she invites him to dinner and a movie and after that they went back to the guys house and had great s**...! In the morning the guy looks at the girl and asks: "Do you usually hang out and have s**... with random strangers"? She replies: "No, You just happened to catch my eye"!
Kids Marry The Darnedest Things
A young son declared, When
I grow up, I'm going to marry you, Mommy.
You can't marry your own mother, said his older sister.
Then I'll marry you.
You can't marry me either.
He looked confused, so I explained, You can't marry someone in your own family.
You mean I have to marry a total stranger?! he cried.
Why do men give their p**... names?
Because they don't want a total stranger making 90% of their decisions.
I attacked a stranger with a sock full of dead AAA Duracells
Kind of ironic that I was charged with battery
I was walking down the road and a man offered me a free sofa and chairs.
I said no because my mother always told me not to accept suites from strangers.
An Oxford Graduate walks into a bar
Some Texans are mingling at the bar when an Oxford graduate walks in. Howdy, stranger, one Texan says. Where are you from?
The Oxford graduate answers, I come from a place where we do not end our sentences in prepositions.
Oh, I'm sorry, replies the Texan. Where are you from, j**...?
After s**... with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had."
Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.
Arguing with strangers online is like wrestling sharks
Even if you win, it was a really s**... thing to do.
A joke on telemarketers from Seinfeld
**j**...:** This isn't a good time.
**Telemarketer:** When would be a good time to call back, sir?
**j**...:** I have an idea, why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you back later?
**Telemarketer:** Umm, we're not allowed to do that.
**j**...:** Oh, I guess because you don't want strangers calling you at home.
**Telemarketer:** Umm, no.
**j**...:** Well, now you know how I feel.
A cowboy walks into a bar.
He throws a coin up in the air, shoots at it three times, and says "My name is Bill, Buffalo Bill". After the cowboy, a stranger stands up, pulls down his pants, showing three t**... and says "My name is Bill, Cherno Bill".
Think New Yorkers don't get along? I just saw two complete strangers share a cab...
One took the wheels and tires, the other took the battery and the radio.
How many???
A blonde was sitting on the train reading the newspaper. The headline blared, "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed."She shook her head at the sad news, then turned to the stranger sitting next to her and asked, "How many is a Brazilian?"
An amputee walks up to a stranger...
An amputee missing his left arm and left leg walks up to a stranger and shouts, I lost my left arm and left leg!!! .
The stranger looks at him, unsure what to make of this interaction, and says, All-righty then.
I have the bad habit of asking internet strangers for advice
Do you guys have ideas on how I can stop doing this?
My cousin was planning to take an Uber home, but then his phone died.
For lack of a better option, he took out the amount of cash that he thought would cover the cost plus tip, and he asked a stranger, "If I pay you this cash, would you call me an Uber?". The stranger nodded, took the cash, said "You're an Uber!" and walked away.
Guy yells to a stranger across the river
"I need to get to the other side".
Stranger yells back, "You are on the other side".
I bumped into a stranger. He turned around and told me he was gonna rearrange my teeth.
What a great dentist he was - so glad I met him.
I was walking my dogs when a stranger approached me.
"Are they Jack Russell's?"
"Nah mate, they're mine" I replied.
A few electrons are having a party
When suddenly, an uninvited proton enters, and since opposites attract, all the electrons get stuck to him. Unable to pull themselves away from the gatecrasher, they scream for help. A mystery stranger hears their cries, jumps in, pulls all the electrons off and throws the proton out of the premises. The grateful electrons ask their saviour to identify himself. Mysteriously, he pulls down his hat and answers:
"Bond. Covalent Bond."
My 35 year old friend and his 22 year old girlfriend had their meal out completely ruined by strangers judging them for their age gap.
It completely ruined their 10 year anniversary.
I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger. He asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How would you know I'm not a serial killer?".
I told him the chances of two serial killers in a car would be astronomical.
Tom Collins practical joke
A man would approach someone on the street and ask: "Have you seen Tom Collins?"
The stranger would say soemthing like: "No. I've never met him."
"Perhaps you had better do so because Tom's calling you names and telling people that you're a b**... thief."
This would upset the second man, who would run off trying to look for Tom Collins. But he didn't exist.
A stranger gave me a really old metal box...
He said it was supposed to contain gold coins, but the lock and the hinges were so rusty which made it very hard to open. I tried a hammer and a crowbar, but the box just won't budge.
So, I'm thinking of trying to open this box with a stick of dynamite, as a last resort. I'll update you guys later if it works or not.
I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised I picked up a stranger and asked. Thanks but why'd you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?
I told him the chances of two serial killers in one car would be astronomical.
100 years ago, a poor Polish immigrant was begging for money in New York city
Suddenly, a stranger appears and starts to talk with her.
Stranger: What is your name, sad lady
Lady: My name is Edit, I am the daughter of Solomon and Alta. I am asking for help because I have nothing to eat
Stranger: I just won this golden coin in a game of poker. I feel guilty for keeping something earned so dishonestly. Looks like you could have better use for it.
A kid comes to his father and asks him what's the difference between hypothetical and practical?
The father says go to your mother and sister, and ask them if they'd have s**... with a complete stranger for one million dollars
The little kid does so and comes back to his dad... they both said yes he told him
Well then says the father *hypothetically* we have two million dollars in the bank... but *practically* we live with two w**...
I've worked with that dude for six weeks, but saw him with his mask off and thought he was a stranger!
It was a simple case of mask-staken identity.
A Redditor accidentally trips and sets off an e**... in a precious metal mine. What's the first thing they say?
Holy c**... this blew up!
Uhhh thanks for the gold stranger!
Lost my job as an Old West saloon piano player when a mysterious stranger walked in the door
and I just kept playing
A guy goes to the doctor and after a checkup the doctor discovers that he has three t**....
The patient asks whether that is a problem, but the doctor assures him that it's not and that he'd wish he had three t**....
Kind of proud the patient leaves the doctor's office and sits on a park bench next to a stranger.
He says to him: "Together we have five t**....", to which the other replies: "Why? Do you have none?"
I am God.
A drunk says to stranger I am God and I can prove it to you.
Drunk accompanies him to a house in front of the bar and knocks on the door.
Woman opens the door and says, "Oh my god, you again."
Drunk man says to stranger, "see."
My mother has the biggest b**... in the world
My mom always get r**... mad whenever I mention that she has the world biggest b**.... She tells me that is improper to be introducing my two brothers to strangers like that and I should instead introduce them by their proper names.
I'm really worried about the Facebook hack.
The thought of random strangers having access to my personal details creeps me out.
A Canadian visits America and gets held at gunpoint by a stranger
The stranger says, "give me all your money and I'll let you live!"
The Canadian replies gleefully, "Oh! You must be what they call a doctor!"
I picked up a hitchhiker last night.
He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger and asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?"
I told him the chances of two serial killers being in one car would be astronomically low
A police officer is eating chicken with rice, sitting across from a stranger
While eating he says, "Boy do I sure love Jasmine rice."
The stranger sitting across from him says, "That's not Jasmine rice, it's Basmati."
The police officer replies, "Are you sure? Do you mind if I ask you some questions about it?"
To which the stranger responds, "No, I know my rice."
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How you doing today?" the bartender asks. "Actually, earlier today I was feeling really down. Depressed even," the guy says. "But then I parked in a handicapped stall at the grocery store and then I had a bunch of complete strangers rally around me and tell me there was nothing wrong with me."
I was thinking how I can make some random strangers on internet angry today…
… but first I will feed my dog that chocolate bar he has been eyeing.