Cheerful Fun Stranger Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888
So when someone ask tell them it's 12345678
By legalizing Cannabis and same-s**... marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:
**"A man who lays with another man should be s**...."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]
Edit1: a typo
Edit2: thanks for the gold humorous stranger!
What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car?
A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.
I'm assuming that none of the Jenners ask Kylie to make breakfast.
Since she can't even beat an egg
Do you know how to avoid clickbait?
Apparently not.
-
I got fired from the s**... bank yesterday
Apparently you're not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say, "get a load of this guy" every time someone walks in.
What do you call children born in whorehouses?
Brothel sprouts
Long John Silver just donated us one of his crew members.
Thanks for the stranger kind Silver!
I can tell bad jokes too - A dog limps into a saloon...
As the batwing doors swing closed behind him, the patrons turn to eye the stranger up.
The dog c**... looks around the dim, smoky room and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Help! I need a push!
A man and his wife were awoken at 3am by a pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a
drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 in the
morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife..
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife.
"Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you!" asks the husband
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.
God Loves Drunks Too
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too."
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing set," replied the drunk.
You can explore stranger foreign reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stranger stranger things dad jokes. There are also stranger puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I got on the bus, sat down and noticed a beautiful blonde Chinese woman crying in the seat across from me...
I moved over and asked her why she was crying.
"I don't usually bare my soul to strangers," she said.
I replied that sometimes it was perfectly fine to tell your story to a perfect stranger. She nodded and said, "I just came out of my therapist session and he says there is no way to cure me."
I asked what exactly was her problem. She said, "I'm a nymphomaniac, but I only get turned on by Jewish cowboys. You know, I do feel better. By the way, my name is Kim."
"Glad to meet you," I said. "My name is Bucky Goldstein."
-----
Steve Wright
So a r**... picks up a hitchhiking serial killer
Killer: "Turn down that dark road."
r**...: "I was planning on it..."
Edit - Thank you magnificent stranger for gold!
Mess with someone's mind
Make your day more fun by going up
to a stranger and asking "Hey, how
have you been since the amnesia?"
This was once voted the UK's funniest joke...
A woman and her baby gets on a bus. The driver stops her at the door and says:"you have the ugliest baby I've ever seen!".the woman storms to the back of the bus, fuming. She sits down next to a stranger and says:"that bus driver just insulted me" The stranger then says:" That is absolutely not on! You go and sort him out and I will hold your monkey for you!"
I walked in from work today and my wife was
sitting on the sofa with my girlfriend.
I said, "What's going on?"
"You tell me?" replied my wife.
I said, "I don't know, you're sitting on the sofa with a stranger."
"A stranger, eh?" shouted my girlfriend, "I'm no stranger, we've been having s**... for six months!"
I looked at my wife and said, "Is this true?"
Why should one not talk about Titanic with a stranger?
Because it can't break the ice
My daughter told me I should treat her like a princess
So I married her off to a stranger in order to secure an alliance with the French.
"sun or the moon"
A very drunk man comes out of the bar and sees another very drunk man.
.
He looks up in the sky and says, "Is that the sun or the moon?"
.
The other drunk man answers, "I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself."
I would like to thank the kind stranger I met on the bus this morning for teaching me the meaning of the word 'abundance'.
It means a lot.
A vegan, a feminist, and a Stranger Things fan walk into a bar...
I only know because they told everyone within two minutes...
Kids Marry The Darnedest Things
A young son declared, When
I grow up, I'm going to marry you, Mommy.
You can't marry your own mother, said his older sister.
Then I'll marry you.
You can't marry me either.
He looked confused, so I explained, You can't marry someone in your own family.
You mean I have to marry a total stranger?! he cried.
Why do men give their p**... names?
Because they don't want a total stranger making 90% of their decisions.
My friend asked me if I wanted to watch Dr. Strange.
I declined because I have Stranger Things to watch.
I wasn't too impressed by Dr. Strange..
I've seen Stranger Things.
I attacked a stranger with a sock full of dead AAA Duracells
Kind of ironic that I was charged with battery
I can't wait to read the BuzzFeed article on "20 Things You Will Love about Stranger Things"
Eleven will blow your mind!!!
TIL That in 2014 Netflix announced they wouldn't be pursuing science-fiction themed original content.
But Stranger Things have happened.
A stranger just came up to me and told me she was vegan...
I swear I've met herbivore
What did Batman say when he found a stranger in the Batcave?
I can't believe it's not Butler
An Oxford Graduate walks into a bar
Some Texans are mingling at the bar when an Oxford graduate walks in. Howdy, stranger, one Texan says. Where are you from?
The Oxford graduate answers, I come from a place where we do not end our sentences in prepositions.
Oh, I'm sorry, replies the Texan. Where are you from, j**...?
I saw a stranger in an alley
I saw a stranger in an alley, and decided to give him $2000.
You should have seen the smile on my face when he put his gun away.
My girlfriend told me that she wanted to be treated like a princess...
So I married her off to a stranger twice her age to strengthen my alliance with France
After s**... with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had."
Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.
A cowboy walks into a bar.
He throws a coin up in the air, shoots at it three times, and says "My name is Bill, Buffalo Bill". After the cowboy, a stranger stands up, pulls down his pants, showing three t**... and says "My name is Bill, Cherno Bill".
What was Jesus' first words?
Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
An Omegle conversation
Me: My dad died on this day in 2001, he called me to say 2 words before dying.
Stranger: Ohh, that's so sweet! What were his words?
Me: Allahu Akbar
How many???
A blonde was sitting on the train reading the newspaper. The headline blared, "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed."She shook her head at the sad news, then turned to the stranger sitting next to her and asked, "How many is a Brazilian?"
Last night my wife told me, "That was entertaining. I wish it was longer..."
"Now I have to wait another year until Stranger Things season 3"
A Demogorgon, a Dungeon Master and a Sherriff walk in to a bar.
My friend shouts "Wow! I've never seen anything like this. Isn't this amazing?!"
I replied "Nah, I've seen Stranger Things."
An amputee walks up to a stranger...
An amputee missing his left arm and left leg walks up to a stranger and shouts, I lost my left arm and left leg!!! .
The stranger looks at him, unsure what to make of this interaction, and says, All-righty then.
Why is the Stranger Things Christmas special going to be lame?
Noel
A jewish guy gets knocked over by a car...
A passer by runs over to check on him. He bundles up his coat into a pillow and places it under his head "Are you comfortable?" the stranger asks. He replies "Ach, I make a living."
Cr
I finally watched that Netflix sci-fi show that everyone is watching...
I keep hearing from everyone that it's a very wierd show, but to be honest, I've seen stranger things.
Told a stranger on a bus that I liked rhetorical questions.
He said, "Who cares?"
I said, "that's a classic!"
I sat on my hand for a while, then m**... with it. It was pure gold.
Thank you, kind stranger.
My cousin was planning to take an Uber home, but then his phone died.
For lack of a better option, he took out the amount of cash that he thought would cover the cost plus tip, and he asked a stranger, "If I pay you this cash, would you call me an Uber?". The stranger nodded, took the cash, said "You're an Uber!" and walked away.
Stranger: "Bob? Is that short for Robert?"
Bobert: "No."
Guy yells to a stranger across the river
"I need to get to the other side".
Stranger yells back, "You are on the other side".
I bumped into a stranger. He turned around and told me he was gonna rearrange my teeth.
What a great dentist he was - so glad I met him.
I was walking my dogs when a stranger approached me.
"Are they Jack Russell's?"
"Nah mate, they're mine" I replied.
A few electrons are having a party
When suddenly, an uninvited proton enters, and since opposites attract, all the electrons get stuck to him. Unable to pull themselves away from the gatecrasher, they scream for help. A mystery stranger hears their cries, jumps in, pulls all the electrons off and throws the proton out of the premises. The grateful electrons ask their saviour to identify himself. Mysteriously, he pulls down his hat and answers:
"Bond. Covalent Bond."
I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger. He asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How would you know I'm not a serial killer?".
I told him the chances of two serial killers in a car would be astronomical.
A stranger gave me a really old metal box...
He said it was supposed to contain gold coins, but the lock and the hinges were so rusty which made it very hard to open. I tried a hammer and a crowbar, but the box just won't budge.
So, I'm thinking of trying to open this box with a stick of dynamite, as a last resort. I'll update you guys later if it works or not.
I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised I picked up a stranger and asked. Thanks but why'd you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?
I told him the chances of two serial killers in one car would be astronomical.
My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink and no one listened.
He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.
100 years ago, a poor Polish immigrant was begging for money in New York city
Suddenly, a stranger appears and starts to talk with her.
Stranger: What is your name, sad lady
Lady: My name is Edit, I am the daughter of Solomon and Alta. I am asking for help because I have nothing to eat
Stranger: I just won this golden coin in a game of poker. I feel guilty for keeping something earned so dishonestly. Looks like you could have better use for it.
A kid comes to his father and asks him what's the difference between hypothetical and practical?
The father says go to your mother and sister, and ask them if they'd have s**... with a complete stranger for one million dollars
The little kid does so and comes back to his dad... they both said yes he told him
Well then says the father *hypothetically* we have two million dollars in the bank... but *practically* we live with two w**...
Suppandi goes to the bus stop...
He asks a stranger, Sir, Which bus will take me to Durganagar?
Just take bus number 96 , the stranger replied hurriedly as he ran to catch his bus.
In the evening, the stranger gets down at the same bus stop and notices Suppandi is still there. Intrigued, he asks, Did you not take the bus?
Suppandi replies, So far 90 buses have gone. Only 5 more to go before my bus arrives
A Reddit user robs a bank.
Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
I've worked with that dude for six weeks, but saw him with his mask off and thought he was a stranger!
It was a simple case of mask-staken identity.
A Redditor accidentally trips and sets off an e**... in a precious metal mine. What's the first thing they say?
Holy c**... this blew up!
Uhhh thanks for the gold stranger!
What's a kidnapped child's favourite Christmas Carol?
Away with a stranger
Why would you think a show about children and monsters is weird?
Honestly, I've seen stranger things
Lost my job as an Old West saloon piano player when a mysterious stranger walked in the door
and I just kept playing
A guy goes to the doctor and after a checkup the doctor discovers that he has three t**....
The patient asks whether that is a problem, but the doctor assures him that it's not and that he'd wish he had three t**....
Kind of proud the patient leaves the doctor's office and sits on a park bench next to a stranger.
He says to him: "Together we have five t**....", to which the other replies: "Why? Do you have none?"
I am God.
A drunk says to stranger I am God and I can prove it to you.
Drunk accompanies him to a house in front of the bar and knocks on the door.
Woman opens the door and says, "Oh my god, you again."
Drunk man says to stranger, "see."
A stranger just said that his mother hooks up with all of his friends
I said that's rough but if he needed a friend to talk to I got him
What did the redditor say to the leprechaun?
Thanks for the Gold, kind stranger!
A Canadian visits America and gets held at gunpoint by a stranger
The stranger says, "give me all your money and I'll let you live!"
The Canadian replies gleefully, "Oh! You must be what they call a doctor!"
I picked up a hitchhiker last night.
He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger and asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?"
I told him the chances of two serial killers being in one car would be astronomically low
Netflix has been making some questionable decisions on its content
Then again, I've seen Stranger Things
My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Dr. Strange for movie night, but I said no.
I had Stranger Things to watch.
A kind stranger recently taught me the meaning of Plethora ....
Thank you kind sir, It means a lot.
A police officer is eating chicken with rice, sitting across from a stranger
While eating he says, "Boy do I sure love Jasmine rice."
The stranger sitting across from him says, "That's not Jasmine rice, it's Basmati."
The police officer replies, "Are you sure? Do you mind if I ask you some questions about it?"
To which the stranger responds, "No, I know my rice."
What's the difference between Netflix and a Bass guitar?
Netflix has Stranger Things 4 and a Bass guitar has 4 Strange Strings.
What did the redditor say after a stranger gave him a piece of explosive gold?
Thanks for the gold, kind stranger
Dumb, Yet s**...
Godzilla: I don't feel so well...
Mothra: What did you eat?
Godzilla: Netflix.
Mothra: Why did that make you sick?
Godzilla: Dunno. I feel like I've eaten Stranger Things...
Did you hear that the next season of Stranger Things will be shot in Australia?
The kids have to defeat a monster from the Right Way Up.
A stranger attacked me with 1 triple A energizer and sodium chloride.
I guess you could say I'm a victim of a salt and battery
Correcting killed the cat, said a stranger standing next to a man.
No, that was curiosi… a loud bang and flash of light silenced him quickly
