Stranded On An Island Jokes
86 stranded on an island jokes and hilarious stranded on an island puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stranded on an island that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Stranded On An Island Short Jokes
Short stranded on an island jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stranded on an island humour may include short stranded jokes also.
- I was stranded on an island with nothing but dark red grass, dark red sand, dark red trees everything was darkred. "AHHH!" i yelled "I've been marooned!"
- If I were to be stranded on an island with anyone I would prefer to be stranded with a vegan... Mostly because it's healthier to eat grass-fed meat.
- If you were stranded on an island and could bring three items what would you bring? Michael Phelps, a saddle, and stick with a gold medal on the end.
- If you were stranded on a desert island, what would you bring with you? I would take one for the team and bring Donald Trump.
- If I were stranded on a deserted island with 3 things of my choice... I would have to choose Michael Phelps, a saddle, and a stick with a gold medal tied to it.
- Steps on how to survive being stranded on a dessert island. 1) Check spelling.
2) If correct, enjoy. - Did you hear about the cannibal stranded alone on a desert island. He threw up his arms and said I'm sick of myself.
- What did Watson say when he and Holmes got stranded on a desert island? "No ship Sherlock"
- If i was stranded on an island with a fully functioning plane and a runaway,, I'd still be stranded on an island.
- How did the sailor stranded on an island with a calendar survive a year? Eating the dates and Sundays.
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Stranded On An Island One Liners
Which stranded on an island one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stranded on an island? I can suggest the ones about deserted island and marooned.
- A man is stranded on a dessert island and it was delicious.
- Donald Tump and Hilary Clinton are stranded on a Island, who do thy save first? America
- What's a stranded Island? The UK After Brexit
- If you were stranded on a deserted island, what's one thing you'd bring with you? A boat.
Comical Stranded On An Island Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about stranded on an island you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean island jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stranded on an island pranks.
Three guys are stranded on a remote island when a native appears out of nowhere and says, "I will grant you one weapon with which to kill yourself so I can make a boat out of your skins." The first guy wishes for a p**..., shoots himself, and dies. The second guy does the same, but the third guy wishes for a fork, stabs himself everywhere, and says, "Ha! Try making a boat out of that!"
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island.
After one month the woman says:
"I can not proceed in this way."
And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they dig up the woman.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island.
After one month the woman says:
"I can not proceed in this way."
And she suicides herself.
After another month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they bury the woman.
The next month, the sailors say:
"We can not proceed in this way."
And they dig up the woman.
There are three men on a desert island: Genius, Smart, and Idiot.
Genius has concluded that at least one man must swim to shore and get help.
Genius volunteered himself, as he is the most likely to get remember to get help.
Genius, not being very athletic, swam halfway to safety and then drowned.
Days later, Smart finally realized Genius drowned.
Smart then decided it was his turn to swim and get help.
Idiot agreed because he didn't know what was happening.
Smart, not being very athletic, swam three quarte rs of the way to safety and drowned.
Days later, Idiot decided it must his turn to swim.
He also did not know what his goal was.
Idiot, not having very much intelligence, swam halfway to safety, felt tired, so he swam back to the island he was stranded on.
Three blondes are stranded on an island.
A fairy comes along and says that she will grant each person a wish.
So the first blonde says she wants to be really smart so she digs and finds a cell phone and calls the Army.
The second blonde says that she wants to be even smarter so she finds a flair and sets it off.
The third blonde says that she wants to be even smarter than both of them, so the fairy changes her hair color to black and she says,"Let's go over the bridge."
A man, a woman, and a great survivor are trapped on an island.
The survivor finds a bunch of coconuts.
The man thinks to himself, "What if there are other people on the island? Then we won't be stranded!"
He throws coconuts at nearby ships, and the island was populated.
Everybody looks at him cross.
Then they kick him off the island.
A Kiwi was washed up on a beach after a shipwreck...
Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he
realised that they were stranded on a deserted island.
After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his
two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful
cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for
romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better
to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm
around it.
But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely
until the man took his arm from around the sheep.
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets
together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another
shipwreck.
The only survivor was Julia Gillard.
That evening, the man brought Julia to the evening beach ritual.
It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and
gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the man started to get 'those feelings' again.
He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in
and leaned over to Julia and told her he hadn't had s**... for months.
Julia batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she
could do for him.
He said, 'Could you take the dog for a walk!'
So there are two blondes stranded on an island....
One of them finds a lamp, rubs it, and a genie pops out. He says, "I shall grant you each one wish". The blonde who rubbed the lamp requests a cell phone to call for help, however, it was useless because there was no reception on the island. The second blonde said, "I want to be smarter than this other blonde!" So, the genie pointed her to the bridge.
3 men and a woman are stranded on a desert island...
After the first week, the woman gets so ashamed of what she's doing, she kills herself.
After the second week, the men get so ashamed of what they're doing, they bury the woman.
After the third week, the men get so ashamed of what they're doing, they dig her back up.
so 3 men and 1 woman stranded on an island...
with no hopes of getting away they try to make the best out of their fate and decide to have s**.... the woman refuses, because she doesn't want to take all 3 men at once. so they have an agreement, saying that each man is allowed to have s**... with the woman for one week until they hand her to the next men. this 'circle of s**...' works pretty well and everyone is happy, until the woman gets ill and dies. the first month was okay for the 3 men. month 2 was getting pretty tough but they kept going. month 5 was very very hard for all of them, but they still stayed hard. finally in month 6 they decided to bury the woman...
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island
they can see land in the distance, and decide to swim for it.
The redhead goes first, gets 1/4 of the way there, gets tired and swims back.
The brunette manages to swim 1/3 of the way there, but gets tired and swims back.
The blonde is able to swim halfway, but gets tired and returns to the island.
I wish....
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
So a man who had been stranded on an island 7 years was finally rescued...
as the ship was pulling away from the island one of his rescuers was looking back at the island and noticed three huts on the beach. Curious, he asked the castaway what they were for. "Well" he replied "the first one there was my house and that one over there is my church" "and the other?" asked the sailor. "Oh that...thats the church I used to go to"
3 men get stranded on an island.
These men are captured by local cannibals. Now the cannibals being merciful tell the 3 men that they will provide them with any weapon they want to kill themselves, in which afterwards they will be eaten and their skins with be made into boats. So the first guy says can i have a gun. He is given a gun, he shoots himself and they make a boat out of him. The second guy asks for a knife. He is given what he asks for and he stabs himself to death and they make a boat out of him. The third guy asks for a fork. The cannibals find this strange but agree. The guy proceeds to stab himself with the fork while yelling, hope your boat sinks, hope your boat sinks.
On A Desert Island For 10 Years
A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit...
The man runs to greet her, "Am I ever happy to see you."
The girl says "Hi! Looks like you've been here a long time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" The man says, "It's been ten years!" With this information the girl unzips a pocket on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man cigarette.
The man says, "Thanks!" The girl says, "So tell me, how long its been since you had a drink?"
The man replies, "It's been ten years" The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and out comes a flask of whiskey. The man takes a drink.
The man is so happy. "Wow. Thanks. You are a life saver!"
The girl begins to unzip the front of her wet suit. She says seductively, "So tell me then, how long has it been since you played around?" Excitedly, the man says, "Oh, my God, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there too?!"
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island that is 10 kilometers from shore...
They all agree that there is no point waiting to die on the island, so they decide to swim for shore.
The brunette goes first, swims three kilometers and drowns.
The redhead goes next, swims five kilometers and drowns.
The blonde goes last. She swims NINE miles...
...gets tired and swims back.
A purple man has a purple wife.
They have two purple kids and live in a big purple house. One day they decide to take a vacation, so they all pile into their purple car, drive it to their purple boat, and set out to sea. Sadly the boat crashes and they are stranded on a small island. The purple man looks to the heavens in desperation and cries, "Oh no! We've been marooned!"
A brunette, redhead, and a blonde woman are stranded on a deserted island.
The mainland is 100 miles away. They each decide to try to swim there individually.
The brunette goes first; she swims 25 miles, then gets eaten by a shark.
The redhead goes second; she swims 40 miles, gets tired, and drowns.
Finally it's the blonde's turn. She swims 50 miles, then says: "Wow this is tiring, I'm not sure if I can continue" and swims back to the island.
Assume a can opener
A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are stranded on a desert island with no tools and a can of food. The physicist and the chemist each devised an ingenious mechanism for getting the can open; the economist merely says, "Assume we have a can opener".
Two guys and a girl are stranded on an island...
After a few weeks the girl is so ashamed of the things that the three of them are doing that she kills herself. After a few more days the guys are so ashamed of what they're doing they decided to bury her. After another few days the guys are so ashamed of what they're doing they eventually dig her back up.
A brunette and a blonde are stranded on an island.
Suddenly, a magical genie appears to them. He says, "You girls have stumbled upon an unfortunate fate. Therefore, I will grant you each one wish."
The brunette says, "I wish I were home with my family!"
"So it is done," the genie says, and the girl is poofed home.
The blonde looks over to where her friend had just been standing and says, "Aw man, I wish she hadn't left me here."
A family of 16 got stranded on a remote island and started a new life there
I hear they really came into their own
A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are stranded on an island with nothing to eat
A can of soup washes ashore.
The physicist says, "Let's smash the can open with a rock.
The chemist says, "Let's build a fire and heat the can first.
The economist says, "Let's assume that we have a can opener." (Paul Samuelson)
This is what I learned from Russian Literature
Alright so 2 guys and 1 girl are stranded on a island
If they were French then they would have a "m**..." and get along just fine.
If they were English then they would be mad at each other because none of them were properly introduce.
And if they were Russian then the girl would have married the guy she didn't like and everyone would be unhappy.
Stranded on an island
Two men and a women end up shipwrecked on an island. Weeks and months go by and nature takes it's course, to pass the time, the woman starts having casual s**... with the two men.
Months later the woman gets sick and dies. As time passes, once again nature takes it's course and they men do what the have to do.
After a while they start to feel guilty, so they bury the body.
The stranded man
A ship, sailing past a remote island, spots a man who has been stranded there for several years. The captain goes ashore to rescue the man and notices three huts.
What's the first hut for? he asks.
That's my house, says the castaway.
What's the second hut for?
That's my church.
And the third hut?
Oh, that? sniffs the castaway. That's the church I used to go to
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette stranded on an island...
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 25 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island...
To get back to the mainland, they must swim 100 miles.
The redhead swims 70 miles, and drowns.
The brunette swims 90 miles, and drowns.
The blond swims 50 miles, but gets tired, and swims back to the island to rest.
What do you call a not-too-bright person of Moorish descent, stranded on a deserted island, who believes Jesus was a Native American?
Marooned m**... m**... Moorman.
Atilla the Hun, Adolf h**... and a lawyer are stranded with you on a island ...
- and you have a gun with only 2 bullets, who do you shoot?
-- The lawyer twice.
"You're alone, stranded on an island. What's your favorite song?"
The one playing on my rescue boat.
Two men are stranded on a deserted island
Two men are stranded on a deserted island. One despairs, but the other one claps him assuredly on the back and says, Don't worry, they will definitely find us, and soon.
Really? Why do you think so?
I owe the IRS five years' worth of taxes.
3 guys and one girl are stranded on a desert island.
After one week the girl is so ashamed of what she is doing that she kills herself.
After another week the guys are so ashamed of what they are doing that...they bury her.
Another week goes by and the guys are so ashamed of what they've been doing...so they dig her back up.
Stranded on an Island
Two men and a women are stranded on an island. After a week, the woman is so ashamed of what they were doing, she killed herself...
After another week, the two men are so ashamed of what they are doing, so they bury her.
After another week, they are so ashamed of what they are doing, they dig her up again.
What three things would you bring if you were stranded on a deserted island?
Irony, the oxford comma and a missed opportunity
3 Blondes are Stranded
And they need to swim across the ocean to reach safety. The first blonde swims 1/4 of the way to safety but drowns. The second blonde swims 1/3 of the way to safety, but drowns. The third blonde swims 1/2 of the way to safety, gets tired and swims back to the original island.
A gorgeous blonde is stranded on an island...
Two cannibals, father and son, find her.
The son says to the father: Wow dad! She is beautiful! Are we going to eat her?
To which the father replies: No son. Don't be silly, we're keeping her. We're eating your mother.
Three guys are stranded on a desert island
Suddenly a good fairy appears and tells them: "I will grant each of you one wish".
The first guy says: "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, I just want to be home." His wish is granted.
The second guy says: "I've always wanted to see the world so I wish to be in Paris." His wish is granted.
The third guy says: "Oh man, now I'm all alone :(.
I wish the two other guys back!"
Old genie joke...
Three men find themselves stranded on a deserted island. After several years, despite their differences, they become close friends out of necessity. One day, they find an old lamp. On rubbing it clean, they release a genie who grants them each one wish.
"I wish to return to my old life!" Two of the men shout, disappearing in a puff of smoke.
The third man, a little slow, looks around at the empty island. Overcome by loneliness, he mutters, "I wish my friends were here."
Three women were stranded on an island after a shipwreck
Three women were stranded on an island after a shipwreck, a redhead, brunette and a blonde. The nearest civilization was a 40 mile swim away. The redhead swam 10 miles and drowned. The brunette swam 15 miles and drowned. The blonde swam 20 miles, became exhausted and decided she wouldn't be able to make the rest of the swim; so she swam back.
A sailor is stranded on a desert island with nothing but palm fronds and sea anemones to live off. Finally when he was recused the rescuers asked why was he covered in anemones with a ring of palm fronds in arms reach. He replies, 'I keep my fronds close but my anemones closer'.
'With fronds like that, who needs anemones?'
3 men are stranded on an island.
3 men are stranded on an island and they find a genie bottle. They decide that each person gets one wish.
The first man says "I wish I was back home." then disappeared.
The second man says "I wish I was of this island!" and he was gone.
The third man say "I wish my friends were back."
A Rabbi is stranded on a desert island...
A Rabbi is stranded on a desert island. After years of solitude, he is finally rescued. His years of loneliness and the island's abundant resources have let him build many creature comforts. He shows his rescuers around the island.
"Here's my dining room," he says, pointing to an area with a palm-leaf roof.
"And here's my kitchen," he says, pointing to an area by the lagoon surrounded by stones.
"And here," he says, pointing to a beautiful hut, "is my synagogue where I go pray."
The rescuers see another building of equal beauty across the island. "What building is that over there?" they ask.
"Ugh, that's the other synagogue. You wouldn't catch me dead in there!"
A Engineer, a Chemist and an Economist get stranded on a island.
From the ship that crashed, some canned food washed ashore.
The Engineer says We need to open the cans with these rocks
The Chemist says We could blow the top off using a combination of these minerals I've found
The Economist says Ok, so let's assume we have a can opener
A Christian man ends up on a deserted island...
He is stranded there for a few years until a rescue boat finds him. When the rescuers get onto the island, they are amazed to see what the man has built to survive. The man had built three different structures out of bamboo and leaves. They asked the man what the first structure was. The man said, That's my house. They then asked about the second structure. That's where I go to Church. The man replied. Then they asked about the third structure. A scowl came over the mans face as he told the rescuers, That's where I used to go to Church.
A man is already 11 years stranded on an island..
In the twelfth, his wife strands on the same island.
Wife : "That what you missed so long is now here!"
Man : "Wait, you got beer?"
A carpenter, a tailor, a sailor, a priest and an economist were stranded on a desert island.
"I could chop down the trees and make a raft." Says the carpenter.
"I can stitch a few sheets into a mast."
Says the tailor.
"I can navigate the oceans with the help of the stars."
Says the sailor.
"I will pray for favourable winds and good luck."
Says the the priest.
All they needed now was to chop down a tree to make the raft.
"That's easy," says the economist. "Let's assume an axe."
Three men got stranded on an island and found a genie's lamp
The first man said, "I wish I was back home with my family."
*p**...*, he was gone.
The second man said, "I wish I were living in a mansion in California."
*p**...*, he was gone.
The third man thought and paced for a bit, then finally groaned and said, "This is too hard! I wish my friends were here to help me figure this out!"
Three women are stranded on an island
Three women are stranded on an island. There is a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. The women decide to try to swim to the mainland.
The brunette swims 1/4 of the way then drowns
The redhead swims 1/3 of the way then drowns
The blonde swims 2/3 of the way but gets tired and swims back
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on a desert island. One day a bottle washes up and of course there is a genie in it who pops out and grants them one wish each.
The brunette says " that's easy - I wish to go home" and p**... her wish was granted.
The redhead is next and says "I wish I was at home" and p**... her wish is granted.
The genie looks at the blond and she says "I can't decide... I wish my friends were here to help me..."
3 Guys on an island
3 guys are stranded on an island and one day they find a bottle.
When they pick it up a genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish.
The first guys says "I wish I was home" p**..... He goes home.
The second guy says "I wish I was home" p**..... He goes home.
The third guy says "I'm lonely, I wish the other 2 guys were back here"
A gay man, a straight woman and a programmer are stranded on a deserted island.
And you assumed the programmer was a guy.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead stuck on an island.
There were three people stranded on an island that was about 10 miles away from civilization after a couple of days they had eaten up and drank all of there supply's so they decided that they should try and swim to civilization first the brunette tries she gets 7 miles out then she drowns and dies the redhead only gets to about 3 miles she then drowns and dies then the blonde gets to about 5 miles says I'm tired and swims back the island
Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp.
Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.
I want to go home, says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.
I want to go home, too, says the second friend. And the genie sends her back home.
I'm lonely, says the third friend. I sure wish my friends were back here."
A blonde, a Brunette and a Red Head were stranded on an island....
The island was 50 miles from the mainland and the girls all thought they might be able to swim back, so they all jumped into the ocean.
After about 10 miles, the Brunette said, "I'm not gonna make it!" And she drowned.
After about 25 miles, the Red Head said, "I'm not gonna make it!" And she drowned.
The blonde kept going, determined to survive. She made it 49 miles. She could see the shore and people on the beach, but was extremely exhausted.
Then she said, "I'm not gonna make it!" So she swam all the way back.
Do you know why the two people who got stranded on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere without any kind of food did not starve together?
Because they were cannibals.
A ship sailing past a remote island spots a man who had been stranded there for several years.
The captain goes to shore and notices three huts.
What's the first hut for? He asks?
That's my house says the castaway.
what's the second hut for?
That's my church.
And the third?
Oh, that? That's the church I used to go to.
A desert island with six women
A bloke found himself stranded on a desert island with six women. To keep it fair, it was decided he would service a different woman every night and have Mondays free. After a few months the man was exhausted, realising how tiring it was to perform constantly every night except one. Then one day, to his joy, he found a man washed up on the beach who would be able to take some of the workload from him. However, his hopes were shattered when the man's first words were, "Hi, gorgeous, how about the kiss of life?"
'Oh f\*c**...,' thinks the man, 'there goes Mondays.'
The deserted island.
Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.
I want to go home, says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.
I want to go home, too, says the second friend. And the genie sends her back home.
I'm lonely, says the third friend. I sure wish my friends were back here."
A classic Russian joke...
An American, a Frenchman and a Russian are stranded on an uninhabited island. They build a shelter, catch fish for food and suddenly catch a magical Golden Fish, who promises to fulfill two wishes for each in trade for her own freedom:
The American says: "A million dollars and to go back home!" He vanishes.
The Frenchman says: "Three beautiful women and to go back home!" He vanishes as well.
The Russian look around at the deserted island, and says: "Tsk, and we were getting along so well. Three crates of v**... and the two fellas back!"
A man was stranded on an island and was visited by a genie who gave him one wish.
3 weeks later rescuers found a corpse with a 3 foot d**....
A ship, sailing past an island, finds a man there who had become stranded alone years earlier. The commander disembarks to rescue the man and sees three huts.
"What's that first hut there?", he asks.
"Oh, that's my house", replies the castaway.
"What about that second hut there?"
"That's my church."
"And what about the third one over there?"
"That?", replies the man, disdainfully. "That's the church I used to go to."
A guy gets stranded on a deserted island with only a goat for company...
After a few months, the goat starts looking a bit enticing. Finally the guy sneaks up behind the goat. As he's about to do the deed, the goat walks off. This goes on for a few months.
One day the guy wakes up to find a beautiful young woman half-drowned in the waves off the island. He rescues her. She's so glad to be alive she says, "I'll do anything for you". The guy thinks for a minute and says, "ANYthing?" She replies, "Yep, Ill do ANYTHING".
So the guy says, "Great, can you hold on to this goat for a minute?"
Three men are stranded on an island always covered in fog.
One is 20 years old, one is 40 and the third one is 60. After a few months, out of nowhere, the fog goes away, and they can see that not far from where their island, there was another island full of young n**... women.
"Quickly, let's swim to them" says the youngest.
"Why don't we wait for them to swim to us" says the 40 years old one.
"Why don't we just admire them from afar?" says the 60 years old man.
A genie and an idiot
Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: 'I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here.'
Middle hut
A man was stranded on a desert island for 20 years when a navy ship finally spots him. The captain comes ashore and notices three huts. What are they used for? the captain asks.
Well, the hut one on the left is where I live, says the man. and the one on the right is where I go to church.
So what about that hut in the middle?
The man sneers, That's the church I used to attend!
Someone always has to ruin it
Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.
I want to go home, says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.
I want to go home, too, says the second friend. And the genie sends her back home.
I'm lonely, says the third friend. I sure wish my friends were back here."
A ship, sailing past a remote island, spots a man who has been stranded there for several years.
The captain goes ashore to rescue the man and notices three huts.
What's the first hut for? he asks.
That's my house, says the castaway.
What's the second hut for?
That's my church.
And the third hut?
Oh, that? sniffs the castaway. That's the church I used to go to.
John, j**... and Mike on an island
John, j**... and Mike have been stranded for months on a beautiful island. One day a bottle with a note in it spills out.
They open it and it reads: "I am a wish granting bottle. Each of you gets one wish."
John immediately said: "I wish I was on my farm right now." p**..., and John is gone.
j**... looks and says: "I wish I was at my own house right now." p**..., now j**... is gone.
Old Mike looks around, scratches his head and says: "Wow, I wish old John and old j**... were here now!"
