The Best 66 Stranded On An Island Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stranded On An Island jokes. There are some stranded on an island human jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stranded on an island finds puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Stranded On An Island Jokes and Puns

Three guys are stranded on a remote island when a native appears out of nowhere and says, "I will grant you one weapon with which to kill yourself so I can make a boat out of your skins." The first guy wishes for a pistol, shoots himself, and dies. The second guy does the same, but the third guy wishes for a fork, stabs himself everywhere, and says, "Ha! Try making a boat out of that!"

A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island.



After one month the woman says:

"I can not proceed in this way."

And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say:

"We can not proceed in this way."

And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say:

"We can not proceed in this way."

And they dig up the woman.

A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island.



After one month the woman says:

"I can not proceed in this way."

And she suicides herself.

After another month, the sailors say:

"We can not proceed in this way."

And they bury the woman.

The next month, the sailors say:

"We can not proceed in this way."

And they dig up the woman.

Stranded On An Island joke

Three blondes are stranded on an island.



A fairy comes along and says that she will grant each person a wish.

So the first blonde says she wants to be really smart so she digs and finds a cell phone and calls the Army.

The second blonde says that she wants to be even smarter so she finds a flair and sets it off.

The third blonde says that she wants to be even smarter than both of them, so the fairy changes her hair color to black and she says,"Let's go over the bridge."

A man, a woman, and a great survivor are trapped on an island.



The survivor finds a bunch of coconuts.

The man thinks to himself, "What if there are other people on the island? Then we won't be stranded!"

He throws coconuts at nearby ships, and the island was populated.

Everybody looks at him cross.

Then they kick him off the island.


So there are two blondes stranded on an island....

One of them finds a lamp, rubs it, and a genie pops out. He says, "I shall grant you each one wish". The blonde who rubbed the lamp requests a cell phone to call for help, however, it was useless because there was no reception on the island. The second blonde said, "I want to be smarter than this other blonde!" So, the genie pointed her to the bridge.

3 men and a woman are stranded on a desert island...

After the first week, the woman gets so ashamed of what she's doing, she kills herself.
After the second week, the men get so ashamed of what they're doing, they bury the woman.
After the third week, the men get so ashamed of what they're doing, they dig her back up.

Stranded On An Island joke, 3 men and a woman are stranded on a desert island...

A man is stranded on a dessert island

and it was delicious.

so 3 men and 1 woman stranded on an island...

with no hopes of getting away they try to make the best out of their fate and decide to have sex. the woman refuses, because she doesn't want to take all 3 men at once. so they have an agreement, saying that each man is allowed to have sex with the woman for one week until they hand her to the next men. this 'circle of sex' works pretty well and everyone is happy, until the woman gets ill and dies. the first month was okay for the 3 men. month 2 was getting pretty tough but they kept going. month 5 was very very hard for all of them, but they still stayed hard. finally in month 6 they decided to bury the woman...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island

they can see land in the distance, and decide to swim for it.

The redhead goes first, gets 1/4 of the way there, gets tired and swims back.

The brunette manages to swim 1/3 of the way there, but gets tired and swims back.

The blonde is able to swim halfway, but gets tired and returns to the island.

I wish....

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

You can explore stranded on an island penniless reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stranded on an island joe dad jokes. There are also stranded on an island puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


So a man who had been stranded on an island 7 years was finally rescued...

as the ship was pulling away from the island one of his rescuers was looking back at the island and noticed three huts on the beach. Curious, he asked the castaway what they were for. "Well" he replied "the first one there was my house and that one over there is my church" "and the other?" asked the sailor. "Oh that...thats the church I used to go to"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island that is 10 kilometers from shore...

They all agree that there is no point waiting to die on the island, so they decide to swim for shore.

The brunette goes first, swims three kilometers and drowns.

The redhead goes next, swims five kilometers and drowns.

The blonde goes last. She swims NINE miles...

...gets tired and swims back.

A purple man has a purple wife.

They have two purple kids and live in a big purple house. One day they decide to take a vacation, so they all pile into their purple car, drive it to their purple boat, and set out to sea. Sadly the boat crashes and they are stranded on a small island. The purple man looks to the heavens in desperation and cries, "Oh no! We've been marooned!"

A brunette, redhead, and a blonde woman are stranded on a deserted island.

The mainland is 100 miles away. They each decide to try to swim there individually.

The brunette goes first; she swims 25 miles, then gets eaten by a shark.

The redhead goes second; she swims 40 miles, gets tired, and drowns.

Finally it's the blonde's turn. She swims 50 miles, then says: "Wow this is tiring, I'm not sure if I can continue" and swims back to the island.

Assume a can opener

A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are stranded on a desert island with no tools and a can of food. The physicist and the chemist each devised an ingenious mechanism for getting the can open; the economist merely says, "Assume we have a can opener".

Stranded On An Island joke, Assume a can opener

Two guys and a girl are stranded on an island...

After a few weeks the girl is so ashamed of the things that the three of them are doing that she kills herself. After a few more days the guys are so ashamed of what they're doing they decided to bury her. After another few days the guys are so ashamed of what they're doing they eventually dig her back up.

A brunette and a blonde are stranded on an island.

Suddenly, a magical genie appears to them. He says, "You girls have stumbled upon an unfortunate fate. Therefore, I will grant you each one wish."

The brunette says, "I wish I were home with my family!"

"So it is done," the genie says, and the girl is poofed home.

The blonde looks over to where her friend had just been standing and says, "Aw man, I wish she hadn't left me here."

A family of 16 got stranded on a remote island and started a new life there

I hear they really came into their own


A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are stranded on an island with nothing to eat

A can of soup washes ashore.
The physicist says, "Let's smash the can open with a rock.
The chemist says, "Let's build a fire and heat the can first.
The economist says, "Let's assume that we have a can opener."  (Paul Samuelson)

This is what I learned from Russian Literature

Alright so 2 guys and 1 girl are stranded on a island

If they were French then they would have a "menage a trois" and get along just fine.

If they were English then they would be mad at each other because none of them were properly introduce.

And if they were Russian then the girl would have married the guy she didn't like and everyone would be unhappy.

Stranded on an island

Two men and a women end up shipwrecked on an island. Weeks and months go by and nature takes it's course, to pass the time, the woman starts having casual sex with the two men.

Months later the woman gets sick and dies. As time passes, once again nature takes it's course and they men do what the have to do.

After a while they start to feel guilty, so they bury the body.

The stranded man

A ship, sailing past a remote island, spots a man who has been stranded there for several years. The captain goes ashore to rescue the man and notices three huts.

What's the first hut for? he asks.

That's my house, says the castaway.

What's the second hut for?

That's my church.

And the third hut?

Oh, that? sniffs the castaway. That's the church I used to go to

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette stranded on an island...

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 25 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island...

To get back to the mainland, they must swim 100 miles.
The redhead swims 70 miles, and drowns.
The brunette swims 90 miles, and drowns.
The blond swims 50 miles, but gets tired, and swims back to the island to rest.

What do you call a not-too-bright person of Moorish descent, stranded on a deserted island, who believes Jesus was a Native American?

Marooned Mormon moron Moorman.

Atilla the Hun, Adolf Hitler and a lawyer are stranded with you on a island ...

- and you have a gun with only 2 bullets, who do you shoot?

-- The lawyer twice.

If i was stranded on an island with a fully functioning plane and a runaway,,

I'd still be stranded on an island.

If you were stranded on an island and could bring three items what would you bring?

Michael Phelps, a saddle, and stick with a gold medal on the end.

"You're alone, stranded on an island. What's your favorite song?"

The one playing on my rescue boat.

Steps on how to survive being stranded on a dessert island.

1) Check spelling.
2) If correct, enjoy.

Two men are stranded on a deserted island

Two men are stranded on a deserted island. One despairs, but the other one claps him assuredly on the back and says, Don't worry, they will definitely find us, and soon.

Really? Why do you think so?

I owe the IRS five years' worth of taxes.

Donald Tump and Hilary Clinton are stranded on a Island, who do thy save first?

America

3 guys and one girl are stranded on a desert island.

After one week the girl is so ashamed of what she is doing that she kills herself.

After another week the guys are so ashamed of what they are doing that...they bury her.

Another week goes by and the guys are so ashamed of what they've been doing...so they dig her back up.

How did the sailor stranded on an island with a calendar survive a year?

Eating the dates and Sundays.

If you were stranded on a desert island, what would you bring with you?

I would take one for the team and bring Donald Trump.

Stranded on an Island

Two men and a women are stranded on an island. After a week, the woman is so ashamed of what they were doing, she killed herself...

After another week, the two men are so ashamed of what they are doing, so they bury her.

After another week, they are so ashamed of what they are doing, they dig her up again.

What three things would you bring if you were stranded on a deserted island?

Irony, the oxford comma and a missed opportunity

3 Blondes are Stranded

And they need to swim across the ocean to reach safety. The first blonde swims 1/4 of the way to safety but drowns. The second blonde swims 1/3 of the way to safety, but drowns. The third blonde swims 1/2 of the way to safety, gets tired and swims back to the original island.

A gorgeous blonde is stranded on an island...

Two cannibals, father and son, find her.
The son says to the father: Wow dad! She is beautiful! Are we going to eat her?
To which the father replies: No son. Don't be silly, we're keeping her. We're eating your mother.

Three guys are stranded on a desert island

Suddenly a good fairy appears and tells them: "I will grant each of you one wish".

The first guy says: "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, I just want to be home." His wish is granted.

The second guy says: "I've always wanted to see the world so I wish to be in Paris." His wish is granted.

The third guy says: "Oh man, now I'm all alone :(.
I wish the two other guys back!"

What did Watson say when he and Holmes got stranded on a desert island?

"No ship Sherlock"

Old genie joke...

Three men find themselves stranded on a deserted island. After several years, despite their differences, they become close friends out of necessity. One day, they find an old lamp. On rubbing it clean, they release a genie who grants them each one wish.

"I wish to return to my old life!" Two of the men shout, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

The third man, a little slow, looks around at the empty island. Overcome by loneliness, he mutters, "I wish my friends were here."

If I were stranded on a deserted island with 3 things of my choice...

I would have to choose Michael Phelps, a saddle, and a stick with a gold medal tied to it.

What's a stranded Island?

The UK After Brexit

Three women were stranded on an island after a shipwreck

Three women were stranded on an island after a shipwreck, a redhead, brunette and a blonde. The nearest civilization was a 40 mile swim away. The redhead swam 10 miles and drowned. The brunette swam 15 miles and drowned. The blonde swam 20 miles, became exhausted and decided she wouldn't be able to make the rest of the swim; so she swam back.

A sailor is stranded on a desert island with nothing but palm fronds and sea anemones to live off. Finally when he was recused the rescuers asked why was he covered in anemones with a ring of palm fronds in arms reach. He replies, 'I keep my fronds close but my anemones closer'.

'With fronds like that, who needs anemones?'

3 men are stranded on an island.

3 men are stranded on an island and they find a genie bottle. They decide that each person gets one wish.
The first man says "I wish I was back home." then disappeared.
The second man says "I wish I was of this island!" and he was gone.
The third man say "I wish my friends were back."

A Engineer, a Chemist and an Economist get stranded on a island.

From the ship that crashed, some canned food washed ashore.

The Engineer says We need to open the cans with these rocks

The Chemist says We could blow the top off using a combination of these minerals I've found

The Economist says Ok, so let's assume we have a can opener

‪If I were to be stranded on an island with anyone I would prefer to be stranded with a vegan...

Mostly because it's healthier to eat grass-fed meat. ‬

A Christian man ends up on a deserted island...

He is stranded there for a few years until a rescue boat finds him. When the rescuers get onto the island, they are amazed to see what the man has built to survive. The man had built three different structures out of bamboo and leaves. They asked the man what the first structure was. The man said, That's my house. They then asked about the second structure. That's where I go to Church. The man replied. Then they asked about the third structure. A scowl came over the mans face as he told the rescuers, That's where I used to go to Church.

A man is already 11 years stranded on an island..

In the twelfth, his wife strands on the same island.

Wife : "That what you missed so long is now here!"
Man : "Wait, you got beer?"

A carpenter, a tailor, a sailor, a priest and an economist were stranded on a desert island.

"I could chop down the trees and make a raft." Says the carpenter.
"I can stitch a few sheets into a mast."
Says the tailor.
"I can navigate the oceans with the help of the stars."
Says the sailor.
"I will pray for favourable winds and good luck."
Says the the priest.
All they needed now was to chop down a tree to make the raft.
"That's easy," says the economist. "Let's assume an axe."

Three men got stranded on an island and found a genie's lamp

The first man said, "I wish I was back home with my family."

*Poof*, he was gone.

The second man said, "I wish I were living in a mansion in California."

*Poof*, he was gone.

The third man thought and paced for a bit, then finally groaned and said, "This is too hard! I wish my friends were here to help me figure this out!"

Three women are stranded on an island

Three women are stranded on an island. There is a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. The women decide to try to swim to the mainland.

The brunette swims 1/4 of the way then drowns

The redhead swims 1/3 of the way then drowns

The blonde swims 2/3 of the way but gets tired and swims back

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on a desert island. One day a bottle washes up and of course there is a genie in it who pops out and grants them one wish each.

The brunette says " that's easy - I wish to go home" and POOF her wish was granted.

The redhead is next and says "I wish I was at home" and POOF her wish is granted.

The genie looks at the blond and she says "I can't decide... I wish my friends were here to help me..."

3 Guys on an island

3 guys are stranded on an island and one day they find a bottle.
When they pick it up a genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish.
The first guys says "I wish I was home" Poof.. He goes home.
The second guy says "I wish I was home" Poof.. He goes home.
The third guy says "I'm lonely, I wish the other 2 guys were back here"

A gay man, a straight woman and a programmer are stranded on a deserted island.

And you assumed the programmer was a guy.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead stuck on an island.

There were three people stranded on an island that was about 10 miles away from civilization after a couple of days they had eaten up and drank all of there supply's so they decided that they should try and swim to civilization first the brunette tries she gets 7 miles out then she drowns and dies the redhead only gets to about 3 miles she then drowns and dies then the blonde gets to about 5 miles says I'm tired and swims back the island

Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp.

Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.

I want to go home, says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.

I want to go home, too, says the second friend. And the genie sends her back home.

I'm lonely, says the third friend. I sure wish my friends were back here."

Do you know why the two people who got stranded on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere without any kind of food did not starve together?

Because they were cannibals.

A ship sailing past a remote island spots a man who had been stranded there for several years.

The captain goes to shore and notices three huts.

What's the first hut for? He asks?

That's my house says the castaway.

what's the second hut for?

That's my church.

And the third?

Oh, that? That's the church I used to go to.

A desert island with six women

A bloke found himself stranded on a desert island with six women. To keep it fair, it was decided he would service a different woman every night and have Mondays free. After a few months the man was exhausted, realising how tiring it was to perform constantly every night except one. Then one day, to his joy, he found a man washed up on the beach who would be able to take some of the workload from him. However, his hopes were shattered when the man's first words were, "Hi, gorgeous, how about the kiss of life?"

'Oh f\*ck,' thinks the man, 'there goes Mondays.'

The deserted island.

Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.

I want to go home, says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.

I want to go home, too, says the second friend. And the genie sends her back home.

I'm lonely, says the third friend. I sure wish my friends were back here."

Did you hear about the cannibal stranded alone on a desert island.

He threw up his arms and said I'm sick of myself.

A classic Russian joke...

An American, a Frenchman and a Russian are stranded on an uninhabited island. They build a shelter, catch fish for food and suddenly catch a magical Golden Fish, who promises to fulfill two wishes for each in trade for her own freedom:

The American says: "A million dollars and to go back home!" He vanishes.

The Frenchman says: "Three beautiful women and to go back home!" He vanishes as well.

The Russian look around at the deserted island, and says: "Tsk, and we were getting along so well. Three crates of vodka and the two fellas back!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stranded on an island eat jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stranded on an island desert island piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes