The Best 10 Straits Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Straits jokes. There are some straits cannibalistic jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these straits dire puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Straits Jokes and Puns
It's WW1 on the straits of Gallipoli, the soldiers are ready to charge from their trenches.
The british officers decides to make a rousing speech to his troops: "Listen here lads, did you come here to die?" and the australian answers "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterday!"
A blonde finds herself in serious money trouble...
Lost her job and she's in dire financial straits.
She's desperate so she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my job and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery."
Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.
She again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my job, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."
Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.
Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my job, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open.
The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself...."Sweetheart, work with Me on this.... Buy a ticket."
Which song does the sperm donor play in repeat?
Dire Straits - Money for Nutting
At the IRS audit
IRS: According to your tax return you claim got money for nothin' & checks for free.
Taxpayer: Am I in trouble for that?
IRS: We'd say you're in dire straits.
What's the difference between Walk of Life and Washington state?
One's by Dire Straits, the other's by dryer states.
^badump ^tssss
What's the difference between a Conversion Camp and the Navy?
One tries to make the gays straight and the other tries to make the straits gay.
Dire Straits are looking for an agent in the Middle East..
They should check out Qatar George...
He knows all the Kurds.
What do you call it when a pastry shop is in financial straits?
Baked into a corner.
I empathize with the homeless by singing Mark Knopfler's ballads.
They make me feel like I'm in dire straits.
Music
What do you get if you cross Chris Rea and Dire Straits?
Diarrhea
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the straits civil jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working straits consensus piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.