Strain Jokes

You can use a colander to look at the eclipse

But be careful you don't strain your eyes

A genetic botanist doesn't show up to the church picnic.

Her concerned husband finds her in her lab working feverishly on a new pesticide resistant strain of maize.

"Aren't you coming to the congregation picnic?". He asks.

"Screw them and their impossible deadlines! They told me I have until today to get the corn bred!"

William Shakespeare once said "Better Three Hours Too Soon Than a Minute Too Late"

My wife disagrees.

It's really put a strain on our sex life.

I tried to eat soup with a fork.

It was a strain.

What's the best weed strain?

Medusa, it always gets you stoned.

Why do scuba divers dive backwards?

Cause if they dived forward they would fell on the boat.

Real reason so that the eye and nose masks don't get filled with water on the impact straightforward and the oxygen tanks are heavy and it would exert less strain on the back. A prudent way.

Throwback Thursday Joke
Edited few grammar mistakes.

A man has been sleeping around and was worried he may have contracted AIDS. He goes to the doctor to get a check up. The doctor returns and says I have two good news for you

The man perplexed but hopeful asks: what's the first good news?

Doctor replies, you don't have AIDS!

The man relieved but now even more curious asks the doctor, then what's the other good news?

Doctor responds, we found a new strain of STD and they're going to name it after you!

They've discovered a new strain of head lice, but they haven't found a cure yet

It's got scientists scratching their heads.

What do you call it when someone suggests a strain of weed to you?

A reeference.

Did you hear about the new strain of bird flu?

Chirpees... a canarial disease... un-tweetable.

The most potent strain of marijuana has just been released to the public

reports say consumption has reached an all-time high

Did you hear about the new strain of marijuana so potent you won't even be able to stand on your own two feet?

They call it tumbleweed

TIL about GMO Corn

Scientists have been working on developing drought resistant corn that will be a better crop for regions that do not get as much rain. They have developed a strain of corn that has stoma on the underside of the leaves that are stiffer.
It is hard pore corn.

I once...

I once strained a can of pineapple juice into the sink thinking it was pineapple chunks.

Outbreak - New Strain of Bird Flu Discovered!!!

It's called Chirpies.
It's a Canarial Disease.
It's Untweetable.

I happen to know a girl who has been with several dudes during the quarantine.

She has a serious case of HOEVID-19, a new strain of Whorona Virus.

Germany is said to be breaking under the strain of polish immigrants

Well there's an unexpected headline: Poland invades Germany

Why should you always buy weed at schools for the blind?

Better strain at lower prices, they have chronic blindness.

LPT: When the next solar eclipse rolls around, you can use a colander to view the eclipse.

Just be sure you don't strain your eyes.

Master, why do you stretch when masturbating?

My Student, that way the strain feels like real sex.

Master, I think that's why I won't do that.

A man who has been having terrible headaches goes to the doctor with his wife...

...the doctor examines him and afterwards takes his wife aside. The doctor confides in the wife that the man has a terrible strain on his body and will die if undergoes any undue stress. "That means," the doctor says, " you can not let him do any chores around the house. You must let him watch what he wants on television. He needs to be kept in a state of relaxation at all times. If he needs something you bring it to him, if he asks for something, he gets it. He should be kept in his favorite chair, with his favorite food and favorite things all around. Sex is right out, except for you giving him oral sex when he wants it. Do you understand what all this means?"
The woman, shaken replies, "Yes, doctor, yes I do." She thanks him and collects her husband.
Once in the car, her husband asks, "So, what did the doctor tell you?"
The wife looks at her husband and says, "Honey, you're going to die."

What do you call soil undergoing strain?

Clay Aiken.

We have collected gags that can be used as Strain pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Strain, here are one liners and funny Strain pick up lines.

Joko Jokes