Straight Jacket Jokes
16 straight jacket jokes and hilarious straight jacket puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about straight jacket that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Straight Jacket Short Jokes
Short straight jacket jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The straight jacket humour may include short jacket jokes also.
- My girlfriend found lipstick in my jacket pocket. I told her straight up I was cheating. There's no way that I was going to confess that I sell Avon
- Why was a social justice warrior being held in solitude confinement in a mental institute? She attacked the guards when they tried to force her into a straight white male jacket.
- When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Straight Jacket One Liners
Which straight jacket one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with straight jacket? I can suggest the ones about life jacket and neck tie.
- What do you think of wearing a straight jacket? I think I could pull it off
- I asked for soundproof walls my mom also got me a straight jacket
- What do you call a runner in a straight jacket? Insane Bolt
- What do you wear when it's raining homophobia? A straight jacket.
Amusing Straight Jacket Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about straight jacket you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tie noose jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make straight jacket pranks.
A Mothers Secret
A mom was teaching her 4 year old son to zip up his jacket.
The secret, she explained, is getting the little straight piece all the way into the little slot before you pull up the zipper.
Her son looked up at her and said, Mom, why does that have to be a secret?
Blonde kidnapper
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles, so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:
I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag
behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow by 7 AM.
Signed - "The Blonde"
She pinned the note inside the boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in
a brown bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Also
inside the bag was the following note:
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do
this to another."
A strange man walks into a bar.
A man was sitting at the bar, sipping his pint, when suddenly a man wearing a white morph suit, tweed jacket and a deer stalker walks into the bar. He walks straight up the wall, across the ceiling and back down the wall towards the bar.
He points towards the Jack Daniel's & puts up 2 fingers and the barman pours a double. In one swift motion he downs in, walks back up the wall, across the ceiling, down the other wall and out the door.
Then the man sat at the bar turns round to the Barman and says "That was a bit odd wasn't it?" and the Barman says "Yeah he usually has a Guinness".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pearly Gates
A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafing through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. Saint Peter goes through the book several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did anything really good in your life but, you never did anything bad either. Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in."
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Yeah, there was this one time when I was driving down the highway and I saw a giant group of k**... Biker Gang Rapists assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of them torturing this girl. Infuriated, I got out
of my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked straight up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the k**... Biker Gang Rapists formed a circle around me. So, I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"
St. Peter, impressed, says "Really? When did this happen?"
"Oh, about two minutes ago."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Fireman's bell system.
A man came home from work one day and told his wife how good his fireman job was when they used a bell system. He explained to her when bell 1 rang they slid down the firemans pole, bell 2 they grab thier jackets and bell 3 they were on the truck ready to go.
He also told her he wanted to use the same system so when bell 1 rang she was to go straight to the room, when bell 2 rang she was to s**... n**... and when bell 3 rang she was to be lying on the bed with her legs in the air ready to go. When he came home the next day he rang the first bell and his wife went straight to the bedroom and then he rang the second so his wife stripped n**... and then he rang the last bell and she was instantly lying on the bed with her legs in the air.
After a few minutes his wife screams out bell 4, bell 4. A confused husband asks what's bell 4?
The wife replies, "you need more hose, more hose, you're nowhere near the fire!