Straight Hair Jokes
14 straight hair jokes and hilarious straight hair puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about straight hair that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Straight Hair Short Jokes
Short straight hair jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The straight hair humour may include short natural hair jokes also.
- My buddy told me he owns a straight-hair-only barber shop. Its name is, "No Curls Allowed."
- Why does Dracula comb his hair straight back? Because he can't see his reflection to part it any other way.
- Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
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Straight Hair One Liners
Which straight hair one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with straight hair? I can suggest the ones about long hair and hair style.
- Why are p**... hairs curly? Because, if they were straight, you would poke your eye out.
Straight Hair Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about straight hair you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean back hair jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make straight hair pranks.
Jar Full of $10 Bills
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of $10 bills on the bar. He goes to the barkeep and says "Hey, what's up with that jar?"
The bartender responds "Well, you put in 10 bucks, do 3 challenges, and if you do them you get the whole jar."
The man says "Wow that's pretty cool, what are the challenges?"
The barkeep lists "Well, first ya gotta drink a whole bottle of hot sauce, and no nursing. Second, there's a dog out back who has a sore tooth and he's real grouchy, and you gotta take out the bad tooth bare handed. Last, there's this old lady upstairs who's never done the hokey pokey, if ya know what I mean, and you gotta fix that."
The man replies in disgust "I can't do any of those!" So the man gets drunk. Being drunk, he decides he can do anything and says "Hand me the bottle of hot sauce." So the bartender hands the man the bottle and the man drinks the whole, straight down. He then goes outside to deal with the dog. As the door shuts you hear yelping and screaming and hollering and growling and then.... dead silence... The door creaks open and the man walks in. He's all covered in blood, his shirts torn, he's missing hair... and in a drunken slur he asks "Where's the old lady with the tooth problem?"
A couple has 4 sons
The first three were tall with straight brown hair and brown eyes, but their youngest son was short with curly blond hair and blue eyes. When the husband was on his deathbed, he called his wife over and asked, "Is that 4th son mine?"
His wife said, "I swear, on all things holy, that child is yours."
The husband died a few moments later. She said to herself, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."
The boy is at his girlfriend's house making out with her on the couch...
... when they hear her parents coming back home.
They quickly sit up straight, fix their hair and pretend to be watching TV.
The mom says "I brought some food, are you guys hungry?"
They go to the table and the boy says "mmmm this fish cake is delicious!"
The mom says "go wash your hands boy, this is potato cake"
Driving Miss Daisy
A car full of old ladies cruising along Route 30 and they get pulled over by a police officer. "What is the matter officer". "You know its dangerous and an offence to drive too slow" responded the officer. "That is the road sign not the speed limit". Then he glances further into the car to see all the old ladies with their hair standing straight up on their head. "What is the matter with them he asks? "Oh we have just come off Route 189"
A blonde walked into a hairdresser with headphones on...
...And says to the hairdresser, "Do anything with my hair, but don't take the earphones off".
So the hairdresser started to cut but was finding it pretty difficult, so he thinks "What could happen if I took the headphones off?", and he took them off. The blonde dropped dead straight away.
"Oh My gosh" said the hairdresser, puzzled. "What is so special about these headphones?" and he put them on.
Out of the headphones she heard: "Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out..."
A Chinese man is at a bar
After having a few drinks and loosening up he decides to try at chatting up a cute blonde lady.
He introduces himself and from the start this lady hangs off his every word. She's twirling her hair, shifting in her seat and taking in every word he says.
They spend another hour at the bar before inviting her back to his place. She willingly agrees to come.
The Chinese man can't believe his luck, this chick is a straight 10/10. He takes her home to his apartment, and they get hot 'n heavy while stripping each others clothes off.
All of a sudden the girls face drops and she looks upset.
The Chinese man asks "What's wrong?" to which she responds, "I thought you said you were hung."
"No, I said my name is Hong."
The tale of two gnats
So a gnat is on a vacation and he sees another gnat but he looked beat up with bruises all over his body. He walks over and asks him why he looks the way he does.
"Well," says the beat up gnat, "My living conditions are terrible. I live in this biker's mustache, and if holding on while he's riding faster than everyone else, it's the bar brawls that'll nearly do you in. This is the first time I've gotten a chance to think about it and I need to move."
The other gnat pats him on the back and exclaims, "Well you're in luck, because I know how you can upgrade big time. Do you see that airport over there? Go over there and slip underneath one of the flight attendant's dresses and nestle in their p**... hair. It's warm, it's safe, if you aren't itchy she won't get rid of you, *and* you still get to see the world."
Enlightened, the beat up gnat thanks him and flies straight over to the airport.
One year later, the gnat goes on vacation to the same spot and sees the same gnat from before, beat up as like he was the first time. He flies over and asks him what happened.
"Well," the beat up gnat starts, "I did just as you said, and by golly you were right. For the longest time I felt like I truly had a good home. Then one day, it was suddenly bright, I feel crushed, I heard lots of screaming, and the next thing I knew I was in some biker's mustache."
Worms in the hole
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.
Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."
Earthworm
A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.
Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."