Stpeters Jokes
8 stpeters jokes and hilarious stpeters puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stpeters that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Stpeters Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good stpeters joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
The Pope dies and arrives in Heaven
St. Peter awaits him. St. Peter asks who he is.
The Pope: "I am the pope."
St. Peter: "Who? There's no such name in my book."
The Pope: "I'm the representative of God on Earth."
St.Peter: "Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me ..."
The Pope: "But I am the leader of the Catholic Church ..."
St. Peter: "The Catholic church ... Never heard of it ... Wait, I'll check with the boss."
St. Peter walks away through Heaven's Gate to talk with God.
St. Peter: "There's a dude standing outside who claims he's your representative on earth."
God: "I don't have a representative on earth, not that I know of ... Wait, I'll ask Jesus." (yells for Jesus)
Jesus: "Yes Dad, what's up?"
God and St. Peter explain the situation.
Jesus: "Wait, I'll go outside and have a little chat with that fellow."
Ten minutes pass and Jesus reenters the room Jeffery Epstien didn't kill himself laughing out loud. After a few minutes St. Peter asks Jesus why he's laughing.
Jesus: "Remember that fishing club I've started 2000 years ago? It still exists!"
Men entrance to Heaven
When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Heaven,God appeared and said,"I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St.Peter."
Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.
The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line for men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.
God said to the long line, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves; I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."
God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."
So the founder of Harley-Davidson goes to heaven...
He walks up to the pearly gates and meets St.Peter. Peter congratulates him on his great bikes and asks that, since hes a special guy, if he would like to talk to god himself. Davidson agrees and he walks past the gate to see god waiting for him. God greets him and says to Davidson "I'm sure you have lots of questions for me...". Right away Davidson replies "Yes, why did you design the females so poorly. All they do is talk and nag, and they never cease to annoy me." God, taken back by this, thinks to himself for a moment. God then says "While I may have made some flaws with the woman, at least more people ride my invention than yours!"
I have two tickets to the Euro's final..
problem is it's on the same day as my wedding... So if anyones interested it's at St.Peters church in Brighton and her name is Sarah.
An Alcoholic,an Obese Guy and a j**... find themselves infront of Pearly Gates
So St.Peter says he can grant them each one wish in heaven.
The Alcoholic wishes for a neverending fountain of the most tastefull alcoholic drink known to humanity,and he is transported to heaven,and there it was,made out of pure gold,smelling like Channel 5 and tasting ljke pure ecstasy.
The Obese Guy wishes for a neverending burger,and there it fell right into his hand,it looked like it was made by god himself,and after tasting it he forgot about all other food.
So the j**... goes up to St.Peter and asks him:Mann can you lend me a dolla or two
3 men die and go to heaven....
Upon entry, St.Peter says, "You will be rewarded based on how honest and faithful you were in your relationships."
The first man had never cheated on his wife and was extremely faithful. So he was given a Cadillac.
The second man had once had an affair but had soon changed and was faithful after that. He was given a Honda.
The last man who had cheated quite a lot on his partners was given a bike.
A few days later, the guy with the bike sees the Cadillac guy crying. He asks him, "Why are you crying? you have everything you could ever want here."
He replies, "I just saw my wife on a bicycle."
a Trumper dies and goes to heaven.
After getting processed in by St.Peter he goes to find God. He finds God in the garden listening to the birds.
M: "Can I ask you something?"
G: "Anything my child"
M: "Who was the rightful victor of the 2020 US election?"
G: "Joe Biden won fair and square my child"
M: "This goes higher up than I thought."
Queen Elizabeth arrives to Heaven ...
St Peter lets her in and gives her a tour around the heavenly garden.
-Here are all your family members, previous pets and people of historical significance during your reign.
Liz looks around this multitude of people who wave at her, smiling. Suddenly she stops and calls St.Peter aside.
-What the F***?, Diana has a bigger halo than me!! I reigned for decades, saw my country trough wars and depressions and wars again, gave god, freedom and peace to nations all around the world, surely I deserve a bigger halo than her!!
-Your Majesty, that is a steering wheel...
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