Storm Jokes

An apple

A sudden desert storm had made a traveler lost his direction. The only thing he had was an apple. It was so precious, whenever he was thirsty or hungry, he would only look at the apple, then he would walk again full of hope.
Unfortunately, he still died in the desert. It was written on the police report: He would have walked out of the desert if he had had a Samsung or Nokia.

What do clouds wear during a storm?

Thunderwear

What did the stormtrooper say when he was frying Luke's aunt and uncle?

I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning Beru.

stormtrooper family dinner

So a stormtrooper tells his son its time for dinner.
the boy asks his dad "what are we having?"
"Wookie meatloaf." He replied.
After a few minutes of eating, the stormtrooper asks his son "How is it?"
"It's chewy."

Why do stormtroopers make good drivers?

They won't ever hit anything.

A stormtrooper sits down to have dinner with his family...

His son asks him "dad what is this we are eating?"
The stromtrooper replies "Baby wookie steaks. How is it?"
His sons says "It's a little chewy."

Have you heard about the new emo-punk band taking Mexico by storm?

They're called *Hispanic! At the Disco*.

Why are pirates never scared of a storm?

Because they love torrents.

I'm ginger, my birthday is on April fools day, I was born during a thunder storm, and I have a lazy eye... If anything, my life is a joke..

I think my new idea for DIY orthodontics is going to take the world by storm.

brace yourself

Why do you never see any Stormtroopers as photographers?

They always miss the shot

Hurricane Joaquin

This Category 3 Storm is likely to hit the Eastern US this week.
Good news for Arizona residents: you will not be affected by Joaquin, Phoenix.

Why can't a Stormtrooper have a baby?

Because they always miss.

2 Stormtrooper are eating a Wookie steak

it was chewy

Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.

Why do stormtroopers never have long distance relationships?

Because they'd miss each other.

Why is stormtrooper always late from work?

He keeps missing his train

All the power lines went down in a storm last Friday ...

Everyone was *delighted*.

A stormtrooper just got sent to the firing squad.

He will be missed.

Stormtrooper helmets

I would wear a stormtrooper helmet everytime I went for a ride on a motorcycle to avoid HITTING anything.

Avoiding Turbulence

I was flying in a small plane that was headed into a storm, and we started going through some bad turbulence. I buckled my seat belt, curled against the window, and closed my eyes.
"What are you doing?" my wife asked.
"I can't make the turbulence stop," I said, "but I can go to sleep so I don't suffer."
"But honey," she replied, "you're the pilot!"

An old man was piloting a small plane with his wife and kids aboard as a powerful storm raged.

Don't fret so much, he said to them as they were filled with fear. If anything should happen to me, I've provided for all of you very generously in my will.

Weatherman forecasted the worst storm in over a hundred years, but it didn't hit us.

It was very anticlimatic

A stormtrooper and a redshirt get into a fight.

The stormtrooper missed every shot.
The redshirt died anyway.

My kettle sounds like thunder and rain.

I think a storm is brewing.

Hurricane Irma was coming, and my mother was thirsty.

My mother has a glass of port wine with almost
every dinner, and insists that any guests over 21 do the same. A handful of my friends have also come to wait out the storm with us, as they had to evacuate. While at the grocery store stocking up on food, my mother insists on getting more wine for our guests. However, the grocery store was out of her favourite brand. It's okay. She said. Any Port in a storm.

Fortnite is a very popular new game

It's taking the world by storm.

There was a bad storm that broke the chicken coop causing a farmer to lose a few chickens.

After the storm he asked his farm hand how many chickens were left.
16 chickens, sir.
Alright, round them up, please.
20 chickens, sir.

Two friends are traveling through a deafening storm

"SURE IS WINDY TODAY!"
"IT'S THURSDAY!"
"ME TOO! I THINK THERE'S A BAR JUST UP THE ROAD!"

What did the stormtrooper say to Luke Skywalker when he saw him?

I've missed you so much!

Did you know that tornadoes can displace shellfish?

Apparently the locals in danger areas are able to identify oncoming bad weather due to the shellfish preceding it.
They call it the clam before the storm.

Did Stormy say it looked like a toadstool or

a toad's tool ?

A trucker in Canada...

Is driving in a winter storm. When he stops at a red light, a blonde lady jumps out of the car behind him, runs up to his truck, knocks on his window and says, "you are losing some of your load!"
He shakes his head and ignores her.
The same thing happens again at the next two lights.
Finally at yet another red light, he gets out of his truck, walks back to her car, and tells her, "lady, stop telling me that I'm losing my load. I'm driving a salt truck!"

A renowned scientist is frustrated with the popularity of misinformation. In an interview, he tells the press my research is meaningless if taken out of context!

The next day, the public is taken by storm as headlines spread that Renowned Scientist Claims That His Research is Meaningless!

How does music help after an ice storm?

If you don't C Sharp, you'll B Flat.

Why was the Stormtrooper so sad when his Jedi friend left?

He always misses him.

A stormtrooper walks into a bar and orders a martini

The bartender asks while handing the stormtrooper his drink, "Shouldn't you not be drinking on the job?"
The stormtrooper arches his eyebrow, "And hit what I'm aiming for?"

Google really does spy on us

This is why I don't trust smartphones. My friend and I were talking about repairing his roof over the next week, because the recent storm took off a few portions. The next day I saw advertisements all over Facebook telling me there are hot shingles in my area looking to get nailed.

Since vampires are hurt by holy water, I always wondered why Priests don't bless storm clouds and kill them from above. Then I realized why most vampires live in Europe

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa

A zookeeper lost a pair of mongoose to a storm and needed to replace them. He began writing an email to his supplier...

Dear sir, please send me two mongooses at once.
That didn't sound right, so he tried again.
Dear sir, please send me two mongeese at once.
That still didn't sound right, so he gave it one last attempt:
Dear sir, please send me one mongoose. And while you're at it- send me another mongoose.
(In memory of my dad who told that joke at every family gathering for 30 years.)

My brother hasn't stopped staring through the window since the storm started

I suppose I should let him in

We are all like Stormy Daniels now.

Just waiting for him to finish.

Getting wet in the rain makes me sad...

I had to run fast. I'd either escape the storm in time or cry drying.

A blonde and her boyfriend went to the movies

In the film, the main character is running through the storm so she says, "I bet you £20, that they don't get struck by lightning."
And her boyfriend agrees.

20 seconds later the main character is stuck by lightning and the blonde looks confused and gets £20 to give.


Her boyfriend said "I can't take this, I have seen the movie before."
She replies, "So have I but I didn't think lightning would strike twice in the same place!"

It was stormy weather outside, so I was really surprised to hear the doorbell ring.

The doorbell camera revealed it was my mother in law, completely soaked from the rain, and shivering in the icy wind. Concerned she might catch a cold, I hollered:
Please, don't just stand there!
Go home!
————————————
Disclaimer:
I really appreciate my mother in law. This is a joke (which I like to tell her once in a while). In-laws deserve to be treated with respect, just like real human beings.

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her: "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Walmart parking lot, now you can follow me over to Target."

Stormtroopers and dogs are a lot alike

No matter where you're at, they always miss you.

Why do stormtroopers always wear masks?

Because they keep missing their shots. #covid

How is a Stormtrooper like an empty church?

Both of their Pews are missing people