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Store Shelves Jokes

16 store shelves jokes and hilarious store shelves puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about store shelves that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Store Shelves Short Jokes

Short store shelves jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The store shelves humour may include short shelf jokes also.

  1. I wanted to buy some literature on DIY shelving Sounds easy, but try going into a book store and asking if they have "any books on shelves"
  2. I just published my first book about poltergeists... ...and the store told me they're flying off the shelves.
  3. He gazed listlessly at the grocery store shelves.. ..because he had forgot the list at home.
  4. A man walks into a library and says "You got any books on floors?" The librarian says "Unfortunately no, we store our books on shelves like everyone else".
  5. I've just had a book about poltergeists published and will be in stores next week I'm expecting it to fly off the shelves.

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The Funniest Store Shelves Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about store shelves you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shops jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make store shelves pranks.

A zombie walks into a brain store

On the shelves, a pound of C++ programmers' brain sells for $500, of Java programmers, $1000, and of PHP programmers, $1,000,000. The zombie gets confused and asks the store owner why PHP programmers' brain is so much more expensive. The owner says "do you know how many PHP programmers I kill to get one pound of brain?"

A guy walks into a grocery store and says "I want half a pound of butter"

He looks and sees shelves completely covered with boxes of salt. All over the grocery store, hundreds and hundreds of boxes of salt. So he says to the grocer, Listen, I don't want to pry, but do you sell a lot of salt? And the grocery man says, Me, if I'll sell a box of salt a month, I'm lucky. But the guy that sells me salt… Boy, can he sell salt."

The new store...

Two Australian businessmen in Brisbane were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be opened new store.
As yet, the store wasn't ready, with no stock and only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.'
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when sure enough, a curious Japanese tourist walked to the window, had a peek, and in a thick Japanese accent asked, 'What you sell?'
One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling arseholes.'
Without skipping a beat, the Japanese man said, 'You doing velly well. Only two left!'

Communism in Romania.

A homeless child walks into a Romanian store that has relatively empty shelves. He asks the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, if you don't mind, do you have any bread you can spare for someone hungry?"
The shopkeeper responds, "Sorry man, in this store we don't have any cheese. Next door is where they don't have any bread."

Shortages

A man walks into a store in a town in Venezuela and surveys the empty shelves.
"Wow! You don't have *any* meat?"
"No," replied the clerk. "We don't have any fish. It's the store across the street that doesn't have any meat."

Some Tim Vine jokes...

"I tell you what makes my blood boil..... Crematoriums."
"People with guns who say give me your money... you gotta hand it to them."
"So I went to my local department store and said I cant decide whether to buy this bed or not. He said do you want to sleep on it? I said of course I do."
"I refuse to work in the subway. Its beneath me."
"I met this girl called Ena. Everytime I see her I say Hi Ena and she laughs her head off."
"I cant remember my homing pigeon's name but am sure it will come back to me."
"Did you know the best selling DVD this year is Poltergeist? Its flying off the shelves."
"So i was reading this book about the history of glue.... I couldn't put it down."

A lady walks into a perfumery and asks for the perfumer for his finest fragrance.

"Doobie woobie blue bop", says the perfumer.
Confused she looks around and notices that all of the bottles on the shelves are empty. "Do you keep them in the back?" she asks
"Flim flam flibidy blam", says the perfumer.
The lady sniffs the air, then looks at him strangely and asks, "come to think of it, I can't smell a single thing in here, do you even make perfume?"
"s**... doo w**..., bing b**... flam", says the perfumer.
Confused, she leaves the store and on her way out bumps into another customer. She stops him and says, "Don't bother, he doesn't make any scents".

A guy walks into a perfumery and asks for the perfumer for his finest fragrance.

"Doobie woobie blue bop", says the perfumer.
Confused the guy looks around and notices that all of the bottles on the shelves are empty. "Do you keep them in the back?" he asks
"Flim flam flibidy blam", says the perfumer.
The guy sniffs the air, then looks at him strangely and asks, "come to think of it, I can't smell a single thing in here, do you even make perfume?"
"s**... doo w**..., bing b**... flam", says the perfumer.
The guy leaves the store and bumps into another customer on his way in...
"Don't bother", says the guy, "he doesn't make any scents".

A grocery store visit I will never forget

So, I was at my local grocery store pushing my cart along the meat aisle when I directed my attention to the shelves as I pushed farther down. Suddenly I felt my cart hit something and I fixed my gaze forward. At first I couldn't see anything but when I looked down, I realized I had struck a midget.
"Are you okay?" I asked, he responded with an indifferent nod , his face looked pale.
"Are you feeling okay sir?" I further inquired
"Well I'm certainly not happy." He replied
"Then which one are you?"

Broccoli joke

So a woman walks into a grocery store and asks "do you have any broccoli" no says the guy stocking shelves. So the woman leaves. So the woman came back the next day and asked the same question, again the guy said no. So again the woman came back and asked again, so the guy finally said can you spell cat as in catostophe so she spells c-a-t. And can you spell dog as in dogborne? So she says d-o-g. Now can you spell freak as in broccoli? Then the woman says " there is no freak in broccoli, THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!!

I bet he felt pretty good about himself...

A man walks into the local sporting goods store with the hopes of purchasing some ammunition, as he has every Saturday for the past two months (with nothing but bare shelves), despite the recent shortage. Much to the man's luck, the store just received a large shipment of ammo that morning and he is the first customer in line. Knowing he had to take advantage of the opportunity, he buys 2,000 rounds each of .45's and 9mm's. Happy that he was finally able to find some ammo, he loads his purchase into the back of his pick-up truck and heads to the range. On the way, he stops at a gas station to fill up. A beautiful, buxom blonde pulls up next to him and notices the thousands of rounds of ammo in his truck bed. Well aware of the ammo shortage, and being an avid shooter herself, she decides to offer the man a proposition: "I couldn't help but notice all the ammo in the back of your truck," she purrs, "how about we trade some ammo for a little s**...?" The man considers her offer, knowing his previous difficulty. "Sure", he says, "what kind of ammo you got?"