The Best 48 Stopp Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stopp jokes. There are some stopp stopper jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stopp hands puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Stopp Jokes and Puns

I've stopped telling jokes to my girlfriend

I guess you could say it's getting serious.

What stopped the beaver's crime spree?

The damming evidence

I stopped a chicken from committing suicide!

But then I got hungry.

Stopp joke, I stopped a chicken from committing suicide!

I stopped going to my colorblind therapist.

He could never tell when I was blue.

I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered:

'Yeah, three males and two females.' Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference. He said: 'Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone.'


I stopped off to get some coffee on the way in to work today

I took a sip after paying and walking away from the counter, it tasted terrible.

I turned around and told the barista "hey, this coffee tastes like mud".

She replied "well it should, it was just ground this morning".

Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents.

Guess the price has adjusted for inflation.

Stopp joke, Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only

Stopped shaving for November, at first I hated the mustache, but what can I say?

It's grown on me.

I've stopped dating this girl I met at the Diabetes Camp.

Turns out she isn't really my type.

I stopped going to my acupuncturist because I couldn't trust him

He was a backstabber.

So, Nintendo's stopped production of the Wii U and are producing their new console.

Looks like they decided it's a good time for a Switch.

You can explore stopp cease reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stopp therapist dad jokes. There are also stopp puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I stopped smoking weed the day after I spent 30minutes looking for my phone under the bed...

....while using my phone's flashlight

Stopped by the police

I spilled some gas on my sleeve while gassing up one day. Got back on the highway and lit up a smoke and started my sleeve on fire. I put my arm out the window but the flames did not go away. I sped up to 70 then 80 when I noticed the flashing lights behind me. The cop says "looks like I'm going to have to write you a couple of tickets " I said I know I was speeding but what else?"
"Possession of a firearm sir "

I stopped my car beside a prostitute last night.

As she got in I asked, *"How much for a blow job?"*

She said, *"Thirty dollars."*

I said, *"Can you do twenty?"*

*"Yeah, okay"*, she replied.

I said, *"Great, here's $600 then."*

I stopped a rape today

Self control.

What stopped winter from coming?

Winterfell and it can't get up

Stopp joke, What stopped winter from coming?

I was stopped by a policeman and he asked me why I was speeding.

"Care to explain why you were going double the speed limit?" he asked.

I said, "I'm sorry, but my wife's about to give birth, I must hurry."

"Oh," he hesitated, "are you going to pick her up?"

"No, I'm going to the airport."

I've stopped paying for sex recently

my prostitute recognised me and gave me a freebie

I stopped complaining about my insomnia

when I found out most of my relatives died in their sleep.


Stopping graffiti has become unmanageable around here

So far the only effort to reduce it has been a complete wash.

Stopped in a diner for lunch and on the menu, it said, "Golden Soup", so I asked the waitress why it was called that...

She replied, "Because there are 24 carrots in it."

I stopped using my Bayblades

I guess I.... let them RIP

They stopped teaching decimals at the school for blind children

Nobody could see the point.

I would appreciate it if we stopped posting Holocaust Jokes. They're not funny, witty, or humorous. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust

He fell off the Guard Tower

I stopped hanging out with one of my friends when he was charged with sexual assault;;

I'm worried he might rub off on me.

I stopped being breastfed at 3

But enough about my day, how was yours?

Stopped by a roadside farm where I saw a sign that said DUCK, EGGS

I was contemplating the position of the comma when it hit me.

What could have stopped the Great Flood?

Goddamn.

So I stopped a woman from getting kidnapped today

It took a lot of self control though

I got stopped by a cop with Alzheimer's

He walks up to my window and says, do I know why I pulled you over?

I stopped at a roadside stand where a sign read "LOBSTER TAILS $5."

I paid my $5 and the guy said....

"Once upon a time, there was this lobster....."

I stopped by my favorite noodle place on my lunch break, but the line to get in was out the door.

There was no way I'd be able to order and get back to work on time, it was a real pho queue.

After stopping me, the Policeman asked if I knew why he had pulled me over...

Apparently, "because you were lonely?" wasn't the right answer

I got stopped by a woman cop with "LAPD" on her cap

I said, where's your colleague with "ANCE" on hers?

Got stopped by police last night. They asked me if I had a police record

Yes, walking on the moon from 1979

Have you ever stopped and realized drinking water through a straw is . . .

the opposite of snorkeling.

If everyone stopped paying taxes...

The government couldn't afford to do anything about it.....

Got stopped on the highway today...

Officer : "Any drugs, alcohol?"

Me : "No thanks !!! I got everything. "

I've stopped burning bridges in my life

because they make them out of steel now.

I stopped showering or changing my clothes, as a precaution against COVID-19.

If anybody gets within six feet of me, I know they must have lost their sense of smell.

I've stopped having naps on a Sunday afternoon. Naps are for the weak.

Not the weekend.

They actually stopped manufacturing glitter in 1972

We just haven't gotten it out of everything yet.

I stopped going to the gym and started drinking instead.

I call it Bacardio.

I've stopped being funny ever since that accident

The doctors said I lost my humerus

I stopped going to the gym recently.

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off me.

I stopped a kidnapping last night.

The parents had just gotten it to sleep, too.

Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2

I paid my $2 and he says "once upon a time, there was this lobster....."

I've stopped doing drugs for good.

I'm doing them for completely evil reasons now.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stopp posts jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stopp steal piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes