Following is our collection of funny Stop Making jokes. There are some stop making prevent jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stop making stopping puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."
Apparently the super colour fragile lipstick makes the dicks atrocious.
...I had tons of private messages from Muslims on this site. As an apology to them I would like to say this:
"Islam is a religion based on peace, love and respect, and this is the central message of the Qur'an. As such I offer a full apology for making the claim that it encourages suicide bombing and violence."
OK, there - I said it. Now can you please stop sending me death threats?
VanDamme: I'll be Mozart.
Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys I'm not saying it.
I replied "yes I cancer." Then I cracked tumor
One says to the other, "How about we make this more interesting?"
So they stop playing chess.
So she says to her baby
_"Eat up now or I'm going to give it to that nice man over there"_ and points at the man sitting across from her
10 mins later _"You have to eat, baby, or I will give to that man!"_
5 mins later _"Baby come on now, I can't waste this milk so you have to eat or im giving it to that man"_
At this point the gentleman sitting across from her yells
_"FFS Make up your mind lady, my stop was 3 stops ago!"_
Wedding cake
...I told him to lighten up.
A man is sitting next to a woman who is trying to breast feed her baby on the bus. The baby refuses to eat and the mother warns, "If you don't eat I'll give it to the man next to me." The baby refuses. After 20 mins the mother repeats the threat. The man clears his throat and says, "Hey woman, you better make up your mind. I was supposed to get off the bus 6 stops ago!"
He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia...
You can explore stop making stopped reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stop making concentrate dad jokes. There are also stop making puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The doctor says, "well you'll have to stop masturbating". Man says "why?"
Doctor says, "because it's making it really hard to examine you"
They're thick and tired of it.
On your way to heaven or wherever, you'll make a stop in Atlanta.
*
Guy: We need to stop testing our products on animals
Boss: Why? Shampoo companies do that all the time.
Guy: Ya. But we make hammers.
The baby wouldn't take it so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us."
Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here." A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!"
I really need to stop saying "cut!" at the end of each scene.
'You need to make a choice' she said 'It's either me or the stupid pokémon references!'
'I understand', I replied, holding back tears. 'Sandra, I choose you!!!'
The kid throws a tantrum and refuses to suck on his mother's breast. So in a fit, the mother tells her son, "If you don't want this milk, I'm gonna give this to the gentleman beside us."
An hour later, the kid still refused to breastfeed. So she tells her son again, "If you won't breastfeed, I'm really gonna give this to this man beside us!"
Then the guy beside them suddenly interrupted, "Please make up your mind now. My stop was 30 minutes ago."
The doctor says it's terminal.
Late one night, he is up, hard at work, when his brother knocks on the door. He gets up from his desk, and answers the door.
"What do you want?" he asks.
His brother responds: "Hey, I'm trying to sleep. Can you stop making a huge racket?"
When he gets to LA, he decides to stop at a local watering hole and grab a beer. He's sitting there in his hat, jeans, and boots, when a woman walks up and sits down beside him.
Woman: Are you a cowboy?
Cowboy: Well yes ma'am, I am.
Woman: Like a real deal cowboy?
Cowboy: I don't know any other kind.
Woman: I've never met a real cowboy before.
Cowboy: Well now you have.
Woman: Well?
Cowboy: Well what?
Woman: Aren't you going to ask what I am?
Cowboy: Well, uh, what are you?
Woman: I'm a lesbian.
Cowboy: A lesb- . . . I don't believe I know what that is.
Woman: It means that I like women. I like to kiss them and touch them and make love to them.
Cowboy: . . . .
The woman gets up and leaves and another woman comes into the bar. She spots the cowboy sitting there with his beer and takes a seat beside him.
Woman: Are you a cowboy?
Cowboy: Well ma'am, I thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.
harharhar.
The pastor explains to him "to make the horse go yell 'Thank God!' And to make it stop yell 'Hallelujah'". He is riding the horse and gets distracted when he notices he is about to ride off a cliff and begins to yell "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!", and the horse stops just at the edge of the cliff. He wipes his sweat off and says "Phew! Thank God!".
*Old Russian joke my dad used to tell*
My nephew has a habit of sucking his thumb, so i had a brilliant idea to make him stop. I told him people that suck their thumbs become fat.
At the store yesterday however, we ran across a pregnant lady and he had the great idea to shout "I know what you have been sucking on" in the middle of the store.
On our anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy.
For a week I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste.
I was expecting my wife to thank me, but she never did it.
Finally, last night she turned and looked at me and said:
Why did you stop brushing your teeth ?? !!!
and he says, "God, we can now clone humans, make life, and take care of ourselves and we don't need you anymore."
God laughed and said: "You think? So show me, how you can make humans and life!"
The scientist agreed, reached down, grabbed a full hand of soil to start making his human, when God promptly stops him and says, "Whoa not so fast, use your own dirt."
I got no reaction, and now all my friends Argon
The man is sitting on the examination table when the Urologist walks in. The urologist glances at the man's medical history, makes a few notes and then says: "Look, I hate to break it to you, but you have to stop masturbating."
The man frowns and says, "Why, Doc?"
The urologist responds: "So I can examine you."
Student #1: was acting rude and obnoxious toward other students in class
My kiddo: "Stop acting rude"
Student #1: "Make me"
Student #2 (a friend of my kiddo): "Your Mom and Dad already made that mistake."
In 1954 John Stapp broke a huge record. Using a rocket powered sled that was going 632 mph, he came to a full stop in just over 1 second. He experienced 46.2 G's making his 168 pound body feel for an instant like it was 7,700 pounds and he STILL only felt half as fat as yo mamma.
So we stopped playing chess.
CEO: We need to stop testing our products on animals.
BOD: Why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.
CEO: Yeah but we make hammers
After she finished the announcement, she spots a man running down the concourse towards the gate. He runs through the boarding area, hurdles a row of empty chairs, and stops at the podium, almost out of breath.
"You just made it!" she says. "Do you have your boarding pass?"
"Oh, this isn't my flight," the man says. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm vegan."
So we stopped playing chess.
I replied," Stop making such baseless accusations".
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stop making crosswalk jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working stop making made piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.