Stop Jokes

Funniest Stop Short Jokes

Short stop jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stop humour may include short pause jokes also.

1. Girl: "Come over" Guy: "I'm coming over"
   Girl: "We should stop using walkie talkies in bed, over."
   
2. How did Metallica get people to stop pirating their music? They stopped releasing anything worth listening to.
3. My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?" "Whatever means necessary," she replied.
   "No it doesn't," I said.
4. Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative number? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
5. The other day my friend was telling me i didnt know what irony meant Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop
   
6. My carbon monoxide detector won't stop beeping. It's giving me a headache, and dizziness, and nausea.
7. To whoever lost an iPhone 14 Pro Max outside the train station yesterday Can you please stop calling my new phone?
8. A cop stops a miner for speeding on the highway COP: Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?
   miner: mine
9. A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips... "Are you the friar?" he asked.
   The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."
10. I asked my wife So, do you think the cup is half full or half empty? And you know what she said? Please for the love of god could you stop wearing my bras!

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Stop One Liners

Which stop one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stop? I can suggest the ones about shutdown and prevent.

1. My wife asked if I could stop singing 'Wonderwall' I said maybe
2. Wall Street execs to redditors: "This isn't a game. Stop!"
3. My wife left me because I couldn't stop doing impressions of pasta And now I'm cannelloni
4. Gas prices are so high... That even the coronavirus stopped traveling..
5. When do you start on red and stop on green? When you're eating a watermelon!
6. My girlfriend told me to stop impersonating a flamingo... I had to put my foot down
7. How do you get Canadian bacon to stop curling in the pan? You take away the broom.
8. When counting down, I can't stand negative numbers I stop at nothing to avoid them.
9. I *SWEAR* I'm not addicted to brake fluid... I can stop whenever I want
10. My girlfriend poked me in the eyes... So unfortunately I stopped seeing her for a while.
11. My friends keep telling me to stop impersonating butter. But I can't. I'm on a roll now
12. A penguin walks into an airport... A TSA officer stops him and says "Penguins can't fly."
13. What happened when the escalator broke down? Everyone stopped and staired! 🥁
14. My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes... ...I told him to lighten up.
15. PLEASE stop asking Santa for the perfect woman. I was almost kidnapped three times today.

Stop Making Jokes

Here is a list of funny stop making jokes and even better stop making puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My wife says if I don't stop making puns about Russia, she's going to hit me. If that's the way it's going to be, then Soviet.
• Stallone: I'm making a movie about composers. I'm playing Vivaldi. VanDamme: I'll be Mozart.
  Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys I'm not saying it.
• Two guys are playing chess. One says to the other, "How about we make this more interesting?"
  So they stop playing chess.
• People should really stop making jokes about major tragedies. My Dad died on 9/11... He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia...
• How will you know if you die of the Delta variant of COVID? On your way to heaven or wherever, you'll make a stop in Atlanta.
  *
• Testing products on animals Guy: We need to stop testing our products on animals
  Boss: Why? Shampoo companies do that all the time.
  Guy: Ya. But we make hammers.
• A guy tried to tell me about a tool that makes holes in hard materials, but I stopped him. I know the drill.
• I'm making a film about emos. I really need to stop saying "cut!" at the end of each scene.
• I've got this awful disease where I can't stop making airport jokes. The doctor says it's terminal.
• My friends told me to stop making chemistry jokes, but then I told just one more I got no reaction, and now all my friends Argon

Stop Sign Jokes

Here is a list of funny stop sign jokes and even better stop sign puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet... But I can only walk so fast.
• What's the difference between a high and drunk driver? The drunk driver goes through the stop sign, while the high driver waits for it to turn green.
• Something told me to stop today It must've been a sign
• Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, he is quickly stopped by a guard, the guard points to a sign that says "No swimming without supervision."
• Yes Sir, Officer. I saw the stop sign. I just didn't see you.
• How did Helen Keller break her arm? You try reading a stop sign at 60 miles an hour.
• I'm tired of people asking what my sign is. Stop okay?
  ​
  I like octagons.
• News flash: Vandals destroy street signs They pulled out all the stops
• I saw a man at an intersection holding a sign saying Homeless VET, anything helps. So I stopped to ask him how he ended up on the street, he said I got caught sleeping with my patients.
• I failed the drivers test even though I stopped for the sign I gave it plenty of time to cross, it's not my fault I hit it.

Bus Stop Jokes

Here is a list of funny bus stop jokes and even better bus stop puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. At work, I have a workstation.
• What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus? He waits for it at the next stop.
• An old woman stopped me and asked "Excuse me, can you show me how to get to the hospital"?
  I said "No problem"
  Then I pushed her under a bus
• Two paedophiles are waiting at a bus stop when an 8 year old girl walks past... One says to the other, "I bet she was a looker in her day."
• I saw a werewolf behind the bus stop last night! Or a really hairy homeless guy.
  Either way, the silver bullet worked!
• A man walks up to a pregnant woman at a bus stop When is it due he asks.
  Two weeks she replies.
  I guess I'll just walk then he responds.
• I was waiting at the bus stop. A woman said, "How long will the next one be?"
  I said, "Probably about thirty feet."
• I'm trying to think of a joke about waiting for the bus at the wrong bus stop. But nothing is coming to me.
• My house is a stone's throw away from the bus stop. It's the one with broken windows.
• My uncle once got his DeLorean up to 88 mph, and ended up 30 years in the future. That's how long he got for hitting all those people at the bus stop.

Truck Stop Jokes

Here is a list of funny truck stop jokes and even better truck stop puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I like my coffee like I like my women Cold and from a truck stop
• So a woman is chasing down an ice cream truck... ... And the ice cream man stops and says, "What can I get for you, Ma'am?"
  She says "Nothing, just wanted to tell you I'm vegan."
• How do you stop a food truck? The Lunch brake
• How do you make a truck stop? Hit the brakes
• Just the other day, I stopped at the gas station where I always stop after work. There were police cars, ambulances, fire trucks, etc everywhere.
• Did you know there was a decision made at Ford to stop producing tow trucks? They finally realized a tow truck couldn't be expected to tow itself
• Where do Mexican truck drivers have to stop their trucks? at the guey station
• I'm gonna stop borrowing my super charged truck to my Mexican friends because... Juan can handle it.
• How many Frenchmen does it take to stop a Semi Truck? Apparently, 84 isn't enough.

Short Stop Jokes

Here is a list of funny short stop jokes and even better short stop puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Being a 6'3 comedian... a lot of my jokes revolve around short people. However, after receiving multiple complaints, ive decided to stop making short jokes now.
  I'm above that.
• I started a charity for the billionaire hedge fund investors affected by the Game Stop Short Squeeze. But Soon after, I realized there's already a Charity for them, The US Government.
• Height bullying is no joke. Seriously guys, we need to stop looking down on short people.
• In baseball, why does it take longer to get from second to third than any other bases? Because there's a short stop in between.
• I bought a treadmill and use it for 15 seconds a day every day. It says right on it in big letters to stop using if you get shortness of breath.
• No Nut November joke.. No Nut November? More like Non stop nut november. I know thats a short one, but people on discord found it funny.
• I was working in the supermarket and it was very busy. While I was racing around, a man stopped me. He said, "Short staff?"
  I said, "Not particularly, but Paul's only 4 ft 11."
• Yesterday I got stopped by a cop with short term memory loss. He kept asking me if I knew why he pulled me over.
• I played sports, my whole life, and was always the best. I stopped short of playing collegiately. In other words, I peaked in high school.

Silly Stop Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about stop you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stop pranks.