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Stop Jokes

163 stop jokes and hilarious stop puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stop that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Jokes involving a common item, the bus stop, can be fun, but they can also be inappropriate. This article highlights the importance of understanding the context and when jokes are appropriate. We explore different types of 'stop' jokes, including truck stop, short stop, intersection, and don't stop jokes. See if you know when to stop and when to go!

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Funniest Stop Short Jokes

Short stop jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stop humour may include short pause jokes also.

  1. Girl: "Come over" Guy: "I'm coming over"
    Girl: "We should stop using walkie talkies in bed, over."
  2. Girl: Come over Guy: I'm coming over
    Girl: We should stop using Walkie-Talkies in bed over
  3. How did Metallica get people to stop pirating their music? They stopped releasing anything worth listening to.
  4. My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?" "Whatever means necessary," she replied.
    "No it doesn't," I said.
  5. Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative number? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
  6. The other day my friend was telling me i didnt know what irony meant Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop
  7. My carbon monoxide detector won't stop beeping. It's giving me a headache, and dizziness, and nausea.
  8. Told my son to stop playing russian roulette, but you know how it is with kids... In one ear, out the other.
  9. What do fetuses, servicemen and gay people have in common in the US? The government stops caring about them once they're out.
  10. To whoever lost an iPhone 14 Pro Max outside the train station yesterday Can you please stop calling my new phone?

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Stop One Liners

Which stop one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stop? I can suggest the ones about shutdown and prevent.

  1. My wife asked if I could stop singing 'Wonderwall' I said maybe
  2. Wall Street execs to redditors: "This isn't a game. Stop!"
  3. Two Karens are having lunch together The waiter stops by and asks "Is anything okay?"
  4. My wife left me because I couldn't stop doing impressions of pasta And now I'm cannelloni
  5. Gas prices are so high... That even the coronavirus stopped traveling..
  6. Stop bullying fat people, it isn't funny They have enough on their plate anyway.
  7. I've finally stopped drinking for good. Now I drink for evil
  8. When do you start on red and stop on green? When you're eating a watermelon!
  9. Why does the american border patrol guard take Xanax? To stop hispanic attacks.
  10. My girlfriend begged me to stop singing Wonderwall... I said maybe.
  11. My girlfriend told me to stop impersonating a flamingo... I had to put my foot down
  12. How do you get Canadian bacon to stop curling in the pan? You take away the broom.
  13. When counting down, I can't stand negative numbers I stop at nothing to avoid them.
  14. What food makes women stop giving blow jobs? Wedding cake
  15. I *SWEAR* I'm not addicted to brake fluid... I can stop whenever I want

Stop Making Jokes

Here is a list of funny stop making jokes and even better stop making puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife says if I don't stop making puns about Russia, she's going to hit me. If that's the way it's going to be, then Soviet.
  • Stallone: I'm making a movie about composers. I'm playing Vivaldi. VanDamme: I'll be Mozart.
    Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys I'm not saying it.
  • Two guys are playing chess. One says to the other, "How about we make this more interesting?"
    So they stop playing chess.
  • My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes... ...I told him to lighten up.
  • People should really stop making jokes about major tragedies. My Dad died on 9/11... He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia...
  • Stop making fun of fat girls with lisps They're thick and tired of it.
  • How will you know if you die of the Delta variant of COVID? On your way to heaven or wherever, you'll make a stop in Atlanta.
    *
  • Testing products on animals Guy: We need to stop testing our products on animals
    Boss: Why? Shampoo companies do that all the time.
    Guy: Ya. But we make hammers.
  • A guy tried to tell me about a tool that makes holes in hard materials, but I stopped him. I know the drill.
  • I'm making a film about emos. I really need to stop saying "cut!" at the end of each scene.

Stop Sign Jokes

Here is a list of funny stop sign jokes and even better stop sign puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet... But I can only walk so fast.
  • A blonde was driving on the way to disneyland. She came to an intersection and stopped, she saw a sign that read, 'Disneyland Left'. So she pulled a U-turn, cried and drove home.
  • What's the difference between a high and drunk driver? The drunk driver goes through the stop sign, while the high driver waits for it to turn green.
  • Something told me to stop today It must've been a sign
  • Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, he is quickly stopped by a guard, the guard points to a sign that says "No swimming without supervision."
  • Yes Sir, Officer. I saw the stop sign. I just didn't see you.
  • How did Helen Keller break her arm? You try reading a stop sign at 60 miles an hour.
  • I stopped at a roadside stand where a sign read "LOBSTER TAILS $5." I paid my $5 and the guy said....
    "Once upon a time, there was this lobster....."
  • What is the difference between a drunk driver and a high driver? The drunk driver will blow through a stop sign without even knowing it was there..
    The high driver will wait until it turns green
  • I'm tired of people asking what my sign is. Stop okay?

    I like octagons.
Stop joke, I'm tired of people asking what my sign is.

Bus Stop Jokes

Here is a list of funny bus stop jokes and even better bus stop puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. At work, I have a workstation.
  • My friend told me I don't know what irony is... Which is ironic, because we were at a bus stop.
  • What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus? He waits for it at the next stop.
  • An old woman stopped me and asked "Excuse me, can you show me how to get to the hospital"?
    I said "No problem"
    Then I pushed her under a bus
  • My friend told me that I didn't understand how to use irony. It was really ironic, since we were at the bus stop at the time.
  • Two paedophiles are waiting at a bus stop when an 8 year old girl walks past... One says to the other, "I bet she was a looker in her day."
  • So the other day, my friend told me that I have no idea what irony meant... Which was pretty ironic, considering we were at a bus stop.
  • I saw a werewolf behind the bus stop last night! Or a really hairy homeless guy.
    Either way, the silver bullet worked!
  • Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning, or possibly just a very hairy guy.... Either way, the silver bullets work.
  • A man walks up to a pregnant woman at a bus stop When is it due he asks.
    Two weeks she replies.
    I guess I'll just walk then he responds.

Truck Stop Jokes

Here is a list of funny truck stop jokes and even better truck stop puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I like my coffee like I like my women Cold and from a truck stop
  • So a woman is chasing down an ice cream truck... ... And the ice cream man stops and says, "What can I get for you, Ma'am?"
    She says "Nothing, just wanted to tell you I'm vegan."
  • A woman is chasing down an ice cream truck…
    The ice cream man stops and says, What can I get for you, Ma'am?
    She says, Nothing, I just wanted to tell you I'm vegan.
  • How do you stop a food truck? The Lunch brake
  • How do you make a truck stop? Hit the brakes
  • Just the other day, I stopped at the gas station where I always stop after work. There were police cars, ambulances, fire trucks, etc everywhere.
  • Did you know there was a decision made at Ford to stop producing tow trucks? They finally realized a tow truck couldn't be expected to tow itself
  • Please stop putting flyers on my trucks windshield. I'm not interested in seeing a band called Parking Violation.
  • Where do Mexican truck drivers have to stop their trucks? at the guey station
  • I'm gonna stop borrowing my super charged truck to my Mexican friends because... Juan can handle it.

Short Stop Jokes

Here is a list of funny short stop jokes and even better short stop puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Being a 6'3 comedian... a lot of my jokes revolve around short people. However, after receiving multiple complaints, ive decided to stop making short jokes now.
    I'm above that.
  • I started a charity for the billionaire hedge fund investors affected by the Game Stop Short Squeeze. But Soon after, I realized there's already a Charity for them, The US Government.
  • Height bullying is no joke. Seriously guys, we need to stop looking down on short people.
  • Stop making jokes on short people It's not funny if the person getting trolled can't enjoy it.
    After all, most of the jokes go way over their heads.
  • In baseball, why does it take longer to get from second to third than any other bases? Because there's a short stop in between.
  • I bought a treadmill and use it for 15 seconds a day every day. It says right on it in big letters to stop using if you get shortness of breath.
  • Why does it take longer to get from 2nd base to 3rd base than it does to get from 3rd base to home? Because there is a short-stop between...
  • Friends will be friends -You must stop making fun of how short i am
    -Come on man , do you want me to fill up the washbasin so that you can relax?
  • No Nut November joke.. No Nut November? More like Non stop nut november. I know thats a short one, but people on discord found it funny.
  • I was working in the supermarket and it was very busy. While I was racing around, a man stopped me. He said, "Short staff?"
    I said, "Not particularly, but Paul's only 4 ft 11."
Stop joke, I was working in the supermarket and it was very busy.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about stop can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of stop puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Silly Stop Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about stop you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean quit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make stop prank.

Virginity in school

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a v**...."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."

How do you stop an anti-vaxer from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.
**

My girlfriend and I began having s**... at 1:58AM this morning and didn't stop until 3:01AM.

Thanks daylight savings!

My friends keep telling me to stop impersonating butter.

But I can't. I'm on a roll now

Corniest joke I know.

Two friars decide to open up a business selling flowers in LA. They settup a booth right outside of Hugh Hefners p**... mansion. After about a week, their business wasnt going so well and it was also driving away people from the p**... mansion seeing two friars outside.
Eventually Hugh Hefner himself came out and put a stop to all of this.
The point of the story is: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
Badum psh

Doctor: I have the results of your test. You're gonna have to stop m**....

Me: Oh no! Why doctor?"
Doctor: Because I'm trying to talk to you, and it's very distracting.

A guy wakes up from a coma.

His doctor asks him what he remembers.
- All i remember is getting on an elevator with a gorgeous woman and her husband. She had a beautiful cleavage and i couldn't stop staring at it. She then looked at me and told me "Can you please press one?".

My friend was bleeding, and the first aid book told me to apply pressure.

So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die.

How do you get a m**... to stop drinking all of your alcohol?

Invite two of them.

Letter from 7 to 6

Dear 6,
Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you two do some pretty n**... things together.
Sincerely,
7

I walked into a room full of men m**...

They all looked shocked when I didn't stop

"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital..."

"Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."

I called the cops about a m**... on my front lawn and they just hung up.

They said that couldn't do anything about crows and to stop calling.

What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Your mom doesn't stop s**... when I s**... her

My doctor told me I needed to stop m**....

I asked him why and he replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

Did you hear that Auschwitz had to ask visitors to stop playing Pokemon Go?

They got tired of people pretending to be Ash.

My family insists i am addicted to drinking brake fluid.

But i can stop any time i want.

My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her.

Also the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend.

I told myself I should stop drinking...

But I'm not about to listen to some drunk who talks to himself.

Stop calling it the Zelda Franchise - It's called the Zelda Chain.

Because there's so many Links

I stopped my car beside a p**... last night.

As she got in I asked, *"How much for a b**...?"*
She said, *"Thirty dollars."*
I said, *"Can you do twenty?"*
*"Yeah, okay"*, she replied.
I said, *"Great, here's $600 then."*

Today I realized I have a bit of a logic f**.......

I can't stop coming to conclusions.

Wife: Stop pretending your life is a youtube video!! It's ruining our marriage!

Me: Do you guys think it's ruining our marriage? Let me know in the comments below!

Vaccinated babies are 10 times more likely to die from heart disease, cancer, and alzheimer's.

Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.

Been in Jail for 5 minutes and I've already been r**... twice...

I really need to stop playing monopoly with my uncle.

t**... holding dad at gunpoint-

t**...: "Say your last words!"
Dad: "Your last words!"
t**...: "What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!"
Dad: "Okay, I'll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?"
t**...: "Stop. Why isn't this scaring your?"
Dad: "Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I saw that monster henway."
t**...: "What's a 'henway'"?
Dad: "About a pound and a half."
t**...: "Stop! I'm serious!"
Dad: "Hi Sirius! I'm Dad!"

My doctor said I need to stop m**.... When I asked why, he said ..

Cause I'm trying to give you a physical

My girlfriend and I are trying this whole "long distance relationship" thing.

I have to stay 100 feet away from her at all times. Also, the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend.

My wife threatened to leave me because I wouldnt stop singing "I'm a believer". I thought she was joking

And then I saw her face...

How do you stop a fight between two blind men?

Just say you're rooting for the man with the knife.

My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women, I think she is overreacting.

She asked why I broke up with the last girl and I said
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific so I said
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."

Guy: I'm hungover

Girl: Stop flirting with me on the walkie talkies, someone's gonna hear us. Over.

After you die, what part of the human body is the last to stop working?

Your pupils; they dilate.

I've just discovered that I have a logic f**....

I can't stop coming to conclusions.

Please stop calling Donald Trump an idiot.

As an idiot myself, it's very offensive that people think he's one of us.

A little girl asks her father: "Daddy, what is corruption?"

-- Go bring me a beer and I'll tell you.
-- But mommy said you should stop drinking!
-- Get yourself an ice-cream too while you bring me that beer.
-- Oh, okay!

A woman is breastfeeding on the bus but struggling to get her baby to suckle....

So she says to her baby
_"Eat up now or I'm going to give it to that nice man over there"_ and points at the man sitting across from her
10 mins later _"You have to eat, baby, or I will give to that man!"_
5 mins later _"Baby come on now, I can't waste this milk so you have to eat or im giving it to that man"_
At this point the gentleman sitting across from her yells
_"FFS Make up your mind lady, my stop was 3 stops ago!"_

Frank farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out.

He goes and sits outside the class and can't stop laughing. The principle walks by and sees him. He asks, Frank, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?"
I f**... in class and the teacher threw me out. The principle asks him again, Well then, why are you laughing?
Because those idiots are sitting in the class smelling my f**... while I'm outside in the fresh air."

Everyone knows about Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer..

But few know about Harold the Brown Nose Reindeer.
He was as strong as the rest, and could fly as high..he just couldn't stop as fast.

My wife complains about constantly being s**... harassed at work

I told her she can stop working from home and go back to the office if she doesn't like it

I cracked a joke about dementia to my friend at the bus. The old man sitting next to me politely asked. "Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?"

I replied "yes I cancer." Then I cracked tumor

You're being chased by a Lion, you're on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do?

You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.

After you die, the last part of your body to stop working are your pupils because...

...they dilate!

Spelling bee judge: "Your word is 'seaward'."

Contestant: "C-U-N..."
Judge: "DEAR GOD PLEASE STOP."

I tried having my mother's phone disconnected, but customer service told me that since the account was in my dad's name, he'd have to be the one to put in the request.....

The fact that he'd been dead for 40 years didn't sway the rep. Then a solution hit me: If I stop paying the bill, you can turn off the service, right?
Well, yes, she said reluctantly. But that would ruin his credit.

My wife said she would leave me if I don't stop comparing everything to Bruce Willis movies, but you know what they say about old habits...

They Pulp Fiction.

I'll never forget my grandpas last words.

Stop shaking the ladder you little s**...!

I was painting my nails earlier when I heard my boss yell at me from across the room.

He said For f**...'s sake, will you stop painting the d**... things and just hammer them into the d**... wall

2 wives go on a girls night out

On the way home they both need the toilet, so decide to stop at a graveyard, but they have nothing to wipe with.
The first takes off her p**... and uses them, while the other takes a wreath and uses that.
The next day, one of their husbands calls the other and says:
"No more girls nights out. My wife came home with no p**.... "
The other husband says:
"Thats nothing. Mine came home with a card in her crack that said 'from all of us at the fire station, we will never forget you. "

I was washing the car with my son yesterday

He kept shouting, 'Mum, stop! Why can't you use a sponge!' 😀

Did you hear about the math student that was afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Girl named IKEA had to change her name to stop being picked on at school.

However stop being picked on at school is arguably a worse choice.

I asked my wife So, do you think the cup is half full or half empty? And you know what she said?

Please for the love of god could you stop wearing my bras!

The Clintons snuck out of Secret Service and spent a weekend driving around like in the good ol' days

They stop at a gas station and the owner, it turns out, is Hillary's high school boyfriend. After exchanging pleasantries they drive away and Bill says "See, if you'd married him, you'd be married to a gas station owner".
Hillary responds "No, Bill, if I'd married him, he'd become the President of the United States".

Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon

Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon and it's starting to lose altitude. They need to lose some weight to stop from crashing.
Putin throws out a bottle of v**... and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway
Biden throws out an AR-15 and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway
Zelensky throws out Putin and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway and looks at Biden smugly as they c**... anyways due to the massive weight of Zelensky's b**....

My wife complains to me about constantly being s**... harassed at work​

I told her she can stop working from home and go back to the office

My wife told me she is so sick of my mansplaining, and if I don't stop she's going to throw me in a deep hole with water in it.

I know she means well.

Please stop including corny details about your family as a blatant ploy to garner additional upvotes and awards by increasing the emotional impact of your post.

This was said to me just now by my 3 year old. So proud! Got a real eye roll from my wife too, so I know it was a good one. Tinged with sadness though, as it reminds me own dad, who went out to get milk and never came back

Had to stop at the gas station to fill my tires…

They raised the price to $1.50. I just can't believe the cost of inflation these days.

I'm really tired of people complaining about the price of everything. $2 for coffee, $3 for coat check, $4 for an hour of parking.....

......I'm just going to stop inviting them to my house.

Stop joke, I'm really tired of people complaining about the price of everything. $2 for coffee, $3 for coat che

jokes about stop

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these stop jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.