Following is our collection of funny Stop jokes. There are some stop desist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stop truck stop puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."
Take your foot off his head.
**
Guy: "I'm coming over"
Girl: "We should stop using walkie talkies in bed, over."
They stopped releasing anything worth listening to.
"Whatever means necessary," she replied.
"No it doesn't," I said.
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop
Thanks daylight savings!
Me: Oh no! Why doctor?"
Doctor: Because I'm trying to talk to you, and it's very distracting.
I had to put my foot down
His doctor asks him what he remembers.
- All i remember is getting on an elevator with a gorgeous woman and her husband. She had a beautiful cleavage and i couldn't stop staring at it. She then looked at me and told me "Can you please press one?".
You can explore stop bus stop reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stop start dad jokes. There are also stop puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die.
Invite two of them.
Dear 6,
Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you two do some pretty nasty things together.
Sincerely,
7
They all looked shocked when I didn't stop
"Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
They said that couldn't do anything about crows and to stop calling.
Your mom doesn't stop sucking when I smack her
I asked him why and he replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
They got tired of people pretending to be Ash.
I stop at nothing to avoid them.
Also the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend.
I can stop whenever I want
To stop hispanic attacks.
But I'm not about to listen to some drunk who talks to himself.
Wedding cake
Because there's so many Links
They have enough on their plate anyway.
Me: Do you guys think it's ruining our marriage? Let me know in the comments below!
When you're eating a watermelon!
I said maybe.
Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.
I really need to stop playing monopoly with my uncle.
Terrorist: "Say your last words!"
Dad: "Your last words!"
Terrorist: "What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!"
Dad: "Okay, I'll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?"
Terrorist: "Stop. Why isn't this scaring your?"
Dad: "Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I saw that monster henway."
Terrorist: "What's a 'henway'"?
Dad: "About a pound and a half."
Terrorist: "Stop! I'm serious!"
Dad: "Hi Sirius! I'm Dad!"
Cause I'm trying to give you a physical
I have to stay 100 feet away from her at all times. Also, the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend.
It's giving me a headache, and dizziness, and nausea.
And then I saw her face...
Just say you're rooting for the man with the knife.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl and I said
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific so I said
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
Girl: Stop flirting with me on the walkie talkies, someone's gonna hear us. Over.
Your pupils; they dilate.
I can't stop coming to conclusions.
In one ear, out the other.
As if any of us still have jobs
Update: stop bragging about being employed, it's lowering morale /s
-- Go bring me a beer and I'll tell you.
-- But mommy said you should stop drinking!
-- Get yourself an ice-cream too while you bring me that beer.
-- Oh, okay!
Guy: I'm coming over
Girl: We should stop using Walkie-Talkies in bed over
So she says to her baby
_"Eat up now or I'm going to give it to that nice man over there"_ and points at the man sitting across from her
10 mins later _"You have to eat, baby, or I will give to that man!"_
5 mins later _"Baby come on now, I can't waste this milk so you have to eat or im giving it to that man"_
At this point the gentleman sitting across from her yells
_"FFS Make up your mind lady, my stop was 3 stops ago!"_
He goes and sits outside the class and can't stop laughing. The principle walks by and sees him. He asks, Frank, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?"
I farted in class and the teacher threw me out. The principle asks him again, Well then, why are you laughing?
Because those idiots are sitting in the class smelling my fart while I'm outside in the fresh air."
But few know about Harold the Brown Nose Reindeer.
He was as strong as the rest, and could fly as high..he just couldn't stop as fast.
"This isn't a game. Stop!"
I told her she can stop working from home and go back to the office if she doesn't like it
I replied "yes I cancer." Then I cracked tumor
You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.
...they dilate!
Contestant: "C-U-N..."
Judge: "DEAR GOD PLEASE STOP."
VanDamme: I'll be Mozart.
Schwarzenegger: Stop it guys I'm not saying it.
The fact that he'd been dead for 40 years didn't sway the rep. Then a solution hit me: If I stop paying the bill, you can turn off the service, right?
Well, yes, she said reluctantly. But that would ruin his credit.
They Pulp Fiction.
Stop shaking the ladder you little shit!
You take away the broom.
On the way home they both need the toilet, so decide to stop at a graveyard, but they have nothing to wipe with.
The first takes off her panties and uses them, while the other takes a wreath and uses that.
The next day, one of their husbands calls the other and says:
"No more girls nights out. My wife came home with no panties. "
The other husband says:
"Thats nothing. Mine came home with a card in her crack that said 'from all of us at the fire station, we will never forget you. "
And now I'm cannelloni
He kept shouting, 'Mum, stop! Why can't you use a sponge!' π
However stop being picked on at school is arguably a worse choice.
Please for the love of god could you stop wearing my bras!
They stop at a gas station and the owner, it turns out, is Hillary's high school boyfriend. After exchanging pleasantries they drive away and Bill says "See, if you'd married him, you'd be married to a gas station owner".
Hillary responds "No, Bill, if I'd married him, he'd become the President of the United States".
Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon and it's starting to lose altitude. They need to lose some weight to stop from crashing.
Putin throws out a bottle of vodka and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway
Biden throws out an AR-15 and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway
Zelensky throws out Putin and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway and looks at Biden smugly as they crash anyways due to the massive weight of Zelensky's balls.
I told her she can stop working from home and go back to the office
One says to the other, "How about we make this more interesting?"
So they stop playing chess.
This was said to me just now by my 3 year old. So proud! Got a real eye roll from my wife too, so I know it was a good one. Tinged with sadness though, as it reminds me own dad, who went out to get milk and never came back
An arm and a leg
Unless you can back it up with a new punchline.
They had a big public awareness sign that read:
"Are your house numbers visible?"
I thought:
"Who cares? How about you just stop at the house that's on fire?"
Turns out I hired an "Insecurity Guard".
She won't stop bringing up the past.
Turns out he had Crooner virus.
......I'm just going to stop inviting them to my house.
He knew he had a problem, but he told me he could *stop anytime*.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stop incessant jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working stop stop making piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.