The Best 9 Stop Bleeding Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stop Bleeding jokes. There are some stop bleeding jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stop bleeding puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Stop Bleeding Jokes and Puns

My friend was bleeding, and the first aid book told me to apply pressure.

So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die.

Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over...

Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, Step out of the car says the cop, I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test. I can't , Jim responds You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack. Alright, says the cop, then you're going to have to take a blood test. Can't do that either, Jim responds, I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death. Ok, the cop answers then I will need a urine sample. Sorry, says Jim I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low. Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me. Can't do that either responds Jim. Why not? Demanded the exasperated cop. Well, because I'm drunk!

A group of soldiers on a first-aid course were tested by the instructor. He asked the recruits: 'If the sergeant major sustained a head injury during an exercise what would you do about it ?

One soldier said: 'I'd wrap a tourniquet around his neck and tighten it until the bleeding stopped.'

If you don't know how to administer first aid for deadly bleeding, don't worry!

All bleeding stops eventually

I'm not addicted to video games

I just have to play 8 hours a day to stop the shaking and another 4 to stop the nose bleed


Nurse to bleeding patient - Don't worry ......

All bleedings stop.....
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......eventually

Ice on your neck can stop nose bleeds

But then again, you could get shot, arrested, or die from an overdose.

What is the connection between bandages and stopping bleeding.

It's just gauze and effect.

I cut my thumb chopping onions...

...in such a way as to make applying appropriate pressure difficult. I made my way to the ER. They weren't busy, so the doctor came over to dress my wound. I expressed frustration over my lack in first aid and the persistent crimson flow. In a matter-of-fact tone, he reassured me, "Don't worry; all of my patients stop bleeding eventually."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stop bleeding jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stop bleeding piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes