Stop Bleeding Jokes
17 stop bleeding jokes and hilarious stop bleeding puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stop bleeding that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Stop Bleeding Short Jokes
Short stop bleeding jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stop bleeding humour may include short bleed jokes also.
- My friend was bleeding, and the first aid book told me to apply pressure. So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die.
- If you don't know how to administer first aid for deadly bleeding, don't worry! All bleeding stops eventually
- I'm not addicted to video games I just have to play 8 hours a day to stop the shaking and another 4 to stop the nose bleed
- Nurse to bleeding patient - Don't worry ...... All bleedings stop.....
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......eventually - Ice on your neck can stop nose bleeds But then again, you could get shot, arrested, or die from an overdose.
- What is the connection between bandages and stopping bleeding. It's just gauze and effect.
- What is a hemophiliac's least favorite song? Don't stop ble-eding
(The pause is necessary) - What do you do if you see a bleeding black guy in your backyard? Stop laughing and reload.
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Stop Bleeding One Liners
Which stop bleeding one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stop bleeding? I can suggest the ones about nose bleed and nosebleed.
- How do you stop a lawyer from bleeding out? Attorney kit.
- How does a lawyer stop the bleeding?
With Attorney-kit.
Great Stop Bleeding Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about stop bleeding you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bleeding nose jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stop bleeding pranks.
Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over...
Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, Step out of the car says the cop, I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test. I can't , Jim responds You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack. Alright, says the cop, then you're going to have to take a blood test. Can't do that either, Jim responds, I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death. Ok, the cop answers then I will need a u**... sample. Sorry, says Jim I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low. Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me. Can't do that either responds Jim. Why not? Demanded the exasperated cop. Well, because I'm drunk!
A group of soldiers on a first-aid course were tested by the instructor. He asked the recruits: 'If the sergeant major sustained a head injury during an exercise what would you do about it ?
One soldier said: 'I'd wrap a tourniquet around his neck and tighten it until the bleeding stopped.'
I cut my thumb chopping onions...
...in such a way as to make applying appropriate pressure difficult. I made my way to the ER. They weren't busy, so the doctor came over to dress my wound. I expressed frustration over my lack in first aid and the persistent crimson flow. In a matter-of-fact tone, he reassured me, "Don't worry; all of my patients stop bleeding eventually."
A police man stops a car and sees a nerdy little man sitting at the wheel...
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says
"Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."
"Well, then we need a u**... sample."
"I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar."
"Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
"I can't do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm too drunk to do that."
A Spanish Joke - Translated
Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over.
Step out of the car says the cop, I am going to need you to take a Breathalyzer test.
I can't , Jim responds You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.
Alright, says the cop, then you're going to have to take a blood test.
Can't do that either, Jim responds, I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.
Ok, the cop answers then I will need a u**... sample.
Sorry, says Jim I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.
Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.
Can't do that either responds Jim.
Why not? Demanded the exasperated cop.
Well, because I'm drunk!
Edit 1: Formatting
Tell me if I translated this properly!