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Stool Sample Jokes

46 stool sample jokes and hilarious stool sample puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stool sample that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Stool Sample Short Jokes

Short stool sample jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stool sample humour may include short stool jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between a doctor and a chair salesman? The chair salesman gives YOU a stool sample.
  2. My vet asked me for a stool sample from my dog I told them she didn't have any stools, she just sits on the ground, but they just looked at me like I was an idiot.
  3. A carpenter pulls up to his doctor with his truck "Took me a while to source the right kind of spruce, but I have the stool samples you asked for"
  4. My doctor said he needed a stool sample from me. The timing was perfect. I was about to go to Ikea anyway
  5. What do you call it when you sit on a high chair to see if you want to buy it? A stool sample.
  6. Sent my stool sample to the lab today... ...he just wagged his tail and asked for seconds.
  7. My doctor asked for a stool sample.... ...and got mad at me when I handed him a tiny chair. Now I'm banned from the doctors office and still don't know why I'm p**... out furniture.
  8. I went to the doctor for a complete physical He asked for a u**..., blood, stool and a s**... sample. So I gave him my underware......and a sock
  9. My doctor just thanked me for submitting the minimum amount of f**... for my stool sample. I told him it was the least I could doo.
  10. Doctor asked for a u**... sample, stool sample and s**... sample... So I gave him my underwear.

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Stool Sample One Liners

Which stool sample one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stool sample? I can suggest the ones about urine sample and step stool.

  1. Went to get stool sample test. It was expensive... ...cost me a buttload.
  2. If I was a salesman and sold bar stools, I'd hand out free stool samples.
  3. What's the first step in getting accepted to carpentry school? Submitting a stool sample.
  4. What's a carpenter's prototype of a bar seat called? A stool sample.
  5. Why did the doctor go the furniture store? Because he needed a stool sample.
  6. My doctor asked me for a u**... sample and a stool sample. So I gave him my underwear.
  7. I just had to pay $300 for a stool sample test. That..s**... was expensive.
  8. Where do Russians keep their stool sample for the doctor? In a p**...-tin!

Stool Sample Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about stool sample you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean specimen jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stool sample pranks.

Nurse: "We need a stool sample and a u**... sample."
Man to wife: "What did she say?"
Wife to husband: "They want your underwear."

Check-up

An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a u**... sample, a stool sample and a s**... sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"
"What did he say? What's he want?"
His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."

An old man doesn't feel well...

So he and his wife go to the doctors office. When they meet with the doctor he says "We need to do a full workup and run some tests. I'm going to need a u**... sample, a stool sample and a s**... sample". The old man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and says "eh?". His wife just rolls her eyes and says "Frank, just give him your underwear!"

An old man goes to the doctor...

...for his yearly physical, his wife tags along with him, The Doctor says: "I'll need a u**... sample, a Stool sample, and a s**... sample." The old man being hard of hearing says: "What did he say? What's he want?" His wife replies: "He said he needs your underwear."

A wife went with her husband to his doctors appointment...

Doctor: I'm gonna need a u**... and stool sample.
Wife (to husband): Just give him your underwear honey!!!

An elderly couple go to the doctor......

for the husbands annual physical. The husband is hard of hearing and he and the wife sit at the doctors desk after his exam. The doctor starts talking and tells the husband he is ordering some tests, and he'll need to provide a u**... sample, a stool sample, and a blood sample.
The husband looks over to his wife and asks: "what did he just say?" The wife replies "give him your underwear".

Computer diagnosis

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your u**..., and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a u**... sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and u**... samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m**... into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using c**....
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop m**..., your elbow will never get better.

A man goes in for his annual physical...

...and gets called into the examination room. The doctor looks at his chart and tells him, "Okay, I'm going to need a u**..., stool and s**... sample."
The man looks at his watch and says, "Geez doc, I'm in kind of a hurry. Can I just leave you my underwear?"

MY first physical

being 50 years old and having never had a physical the doctor wanted a complete work-up, so he says to me "we'll need a blood, u**...,s**..., and stool sample" I threw him the underwear I was wearing and told him to "take whatever you need"

pair of your underwear

A doctor tells an old couple at his office he needs to get a stool sample, a u**... sample, and a blood test from the old man.
Hard of hearing, the old man asks his wife what the doctor said.
The wife replies, "He needs a pair of your underwear."

Why did the hipster doctor dislike taking f**... samples?

Because she was too cool for stool.

I went to the doctor today. He ask for a stool and u**... sample.

I told him I would leave him my underwear

The doctor shakes his head and tells the man, "I have no idea what's wrong with you. I'll need a u**... specimen, plus s**... and stool samples."

The guy says, "I'm kind of in a hurry. Can I just leave you my shorts?"

An old married couple go to the hospital

And as they are getting checked in the doctor says to the old man,
"I need a stool sample, a u**... sample, and a blood sample."
The old man being hard of hearing says, "what'd you say?"
and his wife replies, "He said they need to see your underware."

An old man and his wife go to the doctor...

After the examination the doctor says, "OK sir we just need to get a u**... sample, stool sample, blood sample and a s**... sample."
The old man, hard of hearing, turns to his wife, "What'd he say?"
The woman says, "give him your underwear"

85 Year Old Man Getting His Physical

Old man is in the room with his wife and doctor says: "We're gonna need a blood sample, a stool sample, and a u**... sample."
Old man says to his wife "What'd he say?"
Wife: "He wants your underwear."

A gastroenterologist walks into a bar, grabs one of the bar seats, examines it, picks it up & starts walking out.

The bartender yells at him, hey what do you think you're doing?!
He smiles and says just taking a stool sample!

An elderly man and his wife are in the doctors office

the doctor says to the man "I'm going to need a a u**... sample, a blood sample, and a stool sample."
the man turns to his wife "What did he say?, he needs what?"
the wife yells "Just give him your underpants."

A senior citizen goes to yearly physical

The doctor asks for u**... sample, stool sample and s**... sample
The man being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks "what did he say?"
The wife yells back to him "GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR "

Why was the doctor angry at their patient while trying to get a stool sample?

Because he didn't give a s**....