The Best 85 Stood Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stood jokes. There are some stood held jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stood began puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Stood Jokes and Puns

I'll never forget the day I met my wife.

We were at a fancy dress party. She was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate. They'd gone together, dressed as the number ten.

I knew there and then, she was the one.

I recently started dating a woman in a wheelchair, and I stood her up.

Not surprisingly that's when she fell for me...and you know what, it became a bit of a drag...but now we're on a roll.

Stephen Hawking had a hot date last night. She stood him up...

And he immediately fell on the floor.

Stood joke, Stephen Hawking had a hot date last night. She stood him up...

A weak little man applied for a job as a lumberjack...

...but the foreman refused to take him because he was too small. "I may look puny," protested the man, "but I'm not. Just give me a chance to show you my strength."

The foreman consented and told the man to go chop down a giant redwood that stood nearby. Half an hour later, to the foreman's shock, the redwood was lying on the ground.

"Where'd you learn to cut down trees like that?" the foreman asked.

"The Sahara Forest," the man answered.

"You mean the Sahara Desert?" the foreman ventured.

"Sure," said that man, "if that's what they call it now."

fishing by the river

A man and his friend were fishing by the river when a funeral procession approached. The man stood up, took off his hat, and waited for the procession to pass, and sat back down. His friend said,"That was very respectful of you, very nice." The man then replied,"Well we were married for 40 years."


The guy who developed Fractals..

The guy who developed fractals was Benoit B Mandelbrot, I heard the 'B' stood for 'Benoit B Mandelbrot'

One soldier

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

Stood joke, One soldier

An young Irish boy

A young Irish boy is stood crying at the side of the road. A man asks him What's wrong wid ya laddie? The boy says Me ma is dead . Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you ? The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.

A teacher in a Chicago kindergarten class asked...

her class what kind of sound a pig makes.

Little Tyrone stood up and yelled: "FREEZE, MUTHAFUCKA!"

Lessons.

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow in the back shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."

Little Johnny

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

You can explore stood leapt reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stood waved dad jokes. There are also stood puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Harassment.

So a teacher asks her students to use the word harassment in a sentence. A boy stood up and said, "Ok this is easy. I met a beautiful girl one day and harassment a lot to me"

My Echo

''You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."

Back in the days of the USSR, two men stood in a block-long line for cucumbers...

Suddenly one of them snaps, and yells "This is an outrage! Waiting for hours for a couple of lousy cucumbers! I'm going to the Kremlin to assassinate the fools responsible for this!" and stomps off. A couple hours later, he's back.
One of the other people in line asks "Did you kill the guy in the Kremlin?"
The first guy responds "You think *this* line is long?"

an Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German

were watching an excellent street performer juggling. The street performing noticed the four gentlemens were having trouble seeing him, so he stood up on a crate and asked "can you see me now?".

The four men answered back "Yes" "Oui" "Si" "Ja"

Steven Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years. His Glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees.

Apparently she stood him up.

Stood joke, Steven Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years. His Glasses were smashed, he had a broken

I lost my watch at a party once..

I found it ten minutes later, but some guy was stepping on it. As he stood on my watch, he was sexually harassing a young woman. So I walked up to him and punched him square in the face. Nobody does that to a girl. Not on MY watch.

A teacher was speaking to her class about self-esteem.

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn't think anyone would stand up so she asked him, Why did you stand up? He answered, I didn't want to leave you standing up by yourself.

At an Irish wedding...

...the bride stood to make a toast. She asked, "Would all the married men here stand next to the person that has made your life worth living..."

The bartender was nearly crushed to death.


Apparently Stephen Hawking is in hospital after he went on a date last night...

She stood him up.

Two American tourists were driving through Nova Scotia.

Two American tourists were driving through Nova Scotia.
As they were approaching Shubenacadde (shoe-been-ack-id-dee), they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name.
They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce where we are... ver-r-ry slo-o-owly?"

The waitress leaned over the counter and says, "Tiiimmmmm Hoorrrrttooonnns"

I've always stood up for black people...

It's not worth getting stabbed over a seat

A black man walks into a bar...

And sits down with a parrot on his shoulder. When the bartender asks what he would like to drink, the parrot answers instead.
"Vodka!" it squawks.
Amazed by the trick, the bartender got him his drink and stood back in awe. A few minutes later, the curiosity became to strong for the bartender and he had to know.
" hey, where did u get that? It's so well trained!"
"Africa" answers the parrot.

2 Black Eyes

A man walks into work with two black eyes. His boss asks what happened.

The man says, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye."

"Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asks.

"Well," the man says, "I figured she preferred it in the crack, so I pushed it back in."

The teacher told the kids: name a few things that you can put in your mouth.

Kids: Apple, chocolate, cookie, lamp
Who said that last one?
Johhny stood up and said: it was me.
Why do you think you can put a lamp in your mouth? the teacher asked.
Because last night, after I went to sleep I heard my dad tell my mom to turn off the lamp so he can put it in her mouth.

Emergency flashers

Yesterday, I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.

I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so lifelike you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coats that exposed their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.

But to my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my cardboard cutouts. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody tooted their horns and waved like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind me.

He got out of his car and walked towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!

"What's going on here?"

"My car has a flat tire," I said calmly.

"Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"

I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him, "Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!

I made a Starbucks barista cry

I put my name down as Dad and he stood there calling it over and over again with no reply.

A blonde walked up to a restaurant and upon seeing that the sign said "Open", she walked in.

She ordered a full course meal and was very happy. She stood up to leave but stood at the door for 10 minutes, checking her watch frequently. A waiter walked up to her. Waiter: "Hello ma'am. Are you waiting for somebody today?" Blonde: "No, not particularly." Waiter: "Then why are you standing by the door?" Blonde: "The door says closed. I'm waiting for it to open."

A cardiologist died...

..and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart, covered in flowers, stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened and the casket rolled inside. The beautiful heart then closed, sealing the doctor inside, forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said: "I'm sorry. I was just thinking of my own funeral..I'm a gynecologist."
The proctologist fainted.

I haven't had sex since 1956!

A woman asked a General in the army the last time he made love to a woman, the general stood tall and said "1956 ma'am." The woman, taken back by this answer said "1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better..." and the two sauntered away to a private room. The woman began to strip and the two made passionate love for an hour. The woman cuddled up to the army general afterward and said "well, you sure haven't forgotten any thing since 1956...". The general looked at her confused and said "well I sure hope not. It's only 2130 now!"
Shout out to u/mister_damage

My girlfriend invites me to her home, and she wasn't there, but her sister, who leaned in and said:

''We should have sex right here, when my sister isn't here.'', I got up, and ran to my car, when my girlfriend stood there with a smile. ''I knew I could trust you!'' she said when she hugged me and kissed me passionate.

Moral of the story: Always keep condoms in the car.

Two blondes stood on a riverbank across one another...

One blonde yells out, "How do I get to the other side?"

The other blonde replies, "You ARE on the other side!"

A plane was about to crash, and a woman stood up, took off her top, and exclaimed "Before this plane goes down, is there a man on board who will make me feel like a woman before I die!?"

A man stood up, took off his shirt and threw it at her, and said

"Here, iron this!"

An ugly, broke, single man stood in my way

So I moved the mirror

Two old ladies were sitting on a bench...

Two old ladies were sitting on a bench having a quiet chat, when a flasher approached from across the park. He stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat, exposing himself.
One of the ladies immediately had a stroke.
The other lady, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.

There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke.

After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started.

The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said, Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?

With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

Wait, ladies, cried the professor, The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!

"Honey, I think I'm ugly...."

So I pulled her infront of a mirror, stood right next to her and said:

"Darling, I mean look a that sexy smile, that beautiful hair and those eyes....Just wow. No wonder you feel ugly next to me!"

There were two old ladies sitting on a park bench

when a flasher came by. The flasher stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.

The first old lady had a stroke,

but the second old lady couldn't reach it.

Johnny

A teacher stood up in class, folding her arms. "Stand up if you think you're stupid!" She yelled. Nobody did. "I said stand up!" She repeated. Eventually, Johnny stood up. "So, Johnny! You think you're stupid?"
"No, Miss." Johnny replied quietly. "I just feel bad that you're standing alone."

A guy in a plane stood up and shouted, HIJACK!

All passengers got scared.

From the other end of the plane, a guy shouted back, HI JOHN!

I saw a guy getting jumped by 4 people so I decided to step in and help...

That guy stood no chance against the 5 of us.

I wanted to see if I could become invisible to others

So I stood in the doorway of a supermarket holding a charity tin.

It says "Employees Must Wash Hands" in the bathroom.

I must have stood in there for forty god damned minutes and nobody came in to wash my hands.

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up.

One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn't think anyone would stand up so she asked him, Why did you stand up? He answered, I didn't want to leave you standing up by yourself.

There once was a farmer with three daughters.

They were all going on their first date at the same time. The farmer, being protective of his daughters, grabbed a shotgun and stood by the door. The first guy came to the door and said

"Hi, my names Joe, I'm here for Flo, we are going to the show, is she ready too go?"
The farmer thought he was ok, so they went out.
The next boy came and said

"Hi, my names Kenny, I'm here for Benny, we are going to Denny's, is she ready?
The farmer thought he was ok too, so they went off. The last boy came and said

"Hi, my names Chuck-"
The farmer shot him in the chest.

I told my girlfriend to come with me to the gym. Then I stood her up.

Hopefully, she'll realize the two of us are not going to work out.

In memory of my father, who died of blood loss because sadly no one could figure out his blood type.

As I stood beside him it was incredibly moving to hear him repeat, over and over, these inspirational last words: "Be positive, son! Be positive!"

Father, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you do, just know I will always remember to be positive.

When I was first married we were very poor, but my wife stood by me

She had to - we only had one chair

An englishman, a Frenchman, a spaniard, and a German

Are all watching a really great street performer who was juggling.

The juggler realized that from where they were standing they couldn't see him very well. So the juggler stood on top of a wooden box. He asks if they can see him now.

"Yes"
"Oui"
"Si"
"Ja"

New Years Eve

On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.

Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

A english teacher asked the class...

... Use the word 'dandelion' in a sentence.

The Jamaican kid then stood up and proudly exclaimed -

De Cheetah is fastah dandelion'

If there are any idiots in the room, stand up...

...said the teacher.

After a while, one student stood up.

"Now then, why do you consider yourself an idiot?"

"Well, actually I don't" said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

Stephen Hawking has his first date in a long time...

When he returned from the date, he had a twisted ankle, a broken wrist, his glasses were cracked and there was dirt all over his clothes.

Apparently she stood him up.

What do you call a kid who finally stood up to the bullies?

An ambulance.

Saw a group of 4 guys beating up an old guy earlier and decided to step in

He never stood a chance against 5 of us

A man burst into a bar with a revolver on his hand

The man yelled at the top of his lungs

"WHICH ONE OF YOU HAVE BEEN SLEEPING WITH MY WIFE?"

The whole bar went silent, one man stood up and replied

"You're gonna need more than six bullets pal!"

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German were in the side of a street...

On the street was a performer who was juggling. The juggler noticed the four men had poor eyesight so the juggler stood on a wooden box and exclaimed "Can you see me now?!" The three men responded

"Yes"
"Oui"
"Si"
"Ja"

A tourist in London was throwing bread to some ducks in a pond...

when a local woman approached him looking rather upset. She asked him how he could throw bread in the water for ducks when there were starving children in Africa? Wasn't it obvious that they could use that bread more than the ducks?

The man stood there for a short moment and responded to the woman saying, "I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't throw that far."

I wanted to buy a drink from a vending machine, but there was a guy in front of me.

I tried to wait my turn patiently, but he just kept buying soda. I stood there for a while just watching him put in some money and take his drink, over and over until he had a whole bag of soda cans. He showed no signs of stopping, so I asked him, "Why do you keep doing that? Are you ever going to give anyone else a turn?"

He smirked and replied, "You're just jealous because I've won every time!"

A German lifesaver carries a dog that nearly drowned from the beach...

He plopped it down on the sand and did CPR, as the dog's owner watched nervously from aside.

The dog spat out water and stood up— the lifesaver saved it.

"Oh my goodness, thank you so much for saving my dog!" the owner said, "Are you a vet?"

"Vet? VET???" the German excalimed, "I'M LITERALLY SOAKING!"

A priest has a weiner dog which he loves.

One day when he woke up to feed him, the priest didn't find him. So he asked the local residents to come so he can ask about his dog.
He asked them:

"Does anybody have a weiner?"

So all the men stood up,

"No no that's not what I meant, has anyone seen a weiner?"

So all the women stood up

"Oh my god that's not what I meant.... Has anyone seen someone else's weiner"

Half of the women stood up

"For god's sake has someone seen my weiner?"

All the children stood up.

"Honey, do I look fat ?"

Asked the wife as she stood in front of the mirror.

"No, not at all..", the husband replied, "You look fabulous !!"

Wife, blushing, "Really ! Will you carry me to the fridge ? I want to eat some ice cream.. "

Husband, now visibly scared; "Don't you worry babe, just relax here ! I will just go get the fridge.. "

Thor was viewing the earth, when he saw a beautiful milkmaid. He transformed to human form, descended to earth - and seduced her.

They made love for 3 days and 3 nights, then one morning Thor was stood with his back to her, shuttered sunlight streaming through his golden hair and across his massive frame - the very image of godlike perfection. And he spoke.

Darling, I must away from this place he turned round for dramatic effect, then thundered. FOR I, AM THOR!

She replied YOU'RE thor? I can barely thtand!

Tom was not home at his usual hour and his wife was fuming.

Finally around 3am she heard a noise at the front door and, as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.

Do you realise what time it is?!? she stammered.

He answered, "Don't get excited, I'm late because I bought something for the house.

Immediately her attitude changed, and running down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked What did you buy for the house, dear?"

Tom answered A round of drinks!"

"The word of the day is 'contagious'" Said the teacher, "Who can use it in a sentence?"

Little Jenny stood up and said "My dad has a cold and said its contagious"

The teacher praised Jenny and ask for an example from another student.

Billy stood up and said "Miss, my mum has the flu, and I think its contagious"

Happy with Billy's response, the teacher asked for one more student to stand up and give an example.



Little Johnny stood up...

"Miss, my next door neighbour is painting his house with a 1 inch brush and my dad said its going to take the contagious."

A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.

The man said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye."

"Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asked.

"Well," the man said, "I figured she didn't want it out, so I pushed it back in."

An off duty soldier took a train.

When the train reach its first stop, a general walk in, and the soldier stood up, the general said. 'At ease soldier, sit down.'

The train reached its second stop, again the soldier stood up, the general once again said. 'At ease soldier, sit down.

When the train reach its third stop, again the soldier stood up, the general said.' You don't have to salute every time we reach a stop.' The soldier reply.

' I want to get off, I missed my stop 2 stations ago.'

Where are we?

Not mine:

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly? The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."

Bra Sazes

Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for? Well its time you became informed!


(A) Almost boobs.
(B) Barely there.
(C) Can't Complain!
(D) Dang!
(DD) Double Dang!
(E) Enormous!
(F) Fake.
(G) Get a Reduction.
(H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!!!

A close friend recently died, and at the funeral I asked if I could say a word

The family agreed and as I stood as the podium, I exhaled, "Bargain".

Teary eyed the family thanked me, they knew it meant a great deal.

We were at a family dinner last night, and at one point my Uncle Bob stood up and declared, I'm gay and I don't care who knows it!

He must have been really drunk, because he's been married to my Uncle Tony for six years now.

•••

Happy National Coming Out Day!

A man died and went to heaven.

As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks, Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man. "Whose clock is that?"

That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie"

"Incredible," said the man.

"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where is Trump's clock?"

"His Clock is in Jesus office. He's using it as a ceiling fan

Oldy repurposed

Trump was feeling the pressure of the office and stood before the protraits of our greatest leaders.
Looking at Washington, the Donald said:
"George, you were the first. Can you give me some advise?"
A ghostly voice replied
"Tell the truth"
Trump knew that wouldn't work, so next went to Jefferson.
" Tom, you wrote the constitution. Do you have any words for me?"
Another voice said "Be for the people"
As he had always placed himself before everyone, Trump moved on.
He stood before Lincoln and asked " Abe, you are one of the greatest. Can you advise me?"
A new voice drifted by saying
"Go to the Theater"

Donald J Trump was asked what the J in his name stood for

His response? "Genius".

An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by

Then he spoke: Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses. Mary, you take the offices in the Center Center. Debra, the apartments over the L.A. Plaza are yours. To my dear wife, take all the residential buildings near downtown.
The nurse was really impressed. She said, Your husband must have been quite a man, amassing so much property to leave to all of you.
And the wife responded, What property? … the schmuck had a paper route!!

Back when I was in elementary school one of my teachers would have a letter of the day and then pick one of the students to say something about the letter of the day.

One day I got picked and the letter of that day was N so I got asked, "Jeff, why don't you use the letter of the day, N, and tell us something that you're not very good at that starts with the letter N." I stood up next to my desk and said... Spelling

An elderly man suspected his wife was losing her hearing

So he decided to test his suspicions. He stood about 20 feet behind her and asked, Can you hear me, my love? But she didn't respond.

So he got about 10 feet away from her and asked her again, Can you hear me, sweetie?

When she didn't say anything, he got up to 5 feet from her and asked her again, Dear, can you hear me?

She still didn't say anything so finally he crept up right behind her and said in her ear, Do you hear me?!

His wife irritably turns to him and says, For the fourth time now, yes! I can hear you!

Some old friends were gathered at a table outside the local pub

They were all drinking and laughing, but when a funeral procession came passing by, one of them got up on his feet and stood in solemn sentry until the procession had passed.

I never knew you had so much respect for the dead? one of his friends commented as he sat back down.

Usually I don't, but after all, we were married for 30 years.

When I was first married,we were really poor, but my wife stood by me...

She had no choice. We only had 1 chair.

One day at school the lad who sat next to me swallowed his calculator. I stood up for him when everyone else said he was a weirdo. I told them, "He may be a bit weird,

but it's what's inside him that counts!"

Sven and Oli went to the lumber store

Sven went in and Oli stayed in the truck. Sven said to the lumberman, I need a four-by-two . The lumberman said, Do you mean a two-by-four? . Sven said, let me ask my brudder . Sven came back and said, yup we need a two-by-four . The lumberman said, How long? . Sven said, huh? . The lumberman said, How long do you need it? Sven just stood there, not understanding. The lumberman said, Go ask your brother. Sven went out to the truck, and came back and said, We need it quite a while, we're building a garage

As they stood on top of The Eiffel Tower, watching a beautiful sunset, he got down on one knee and said, Honey?

She gasped audibly and said, Yeah?

He said, Help! My replacement knee is made of magnets.

Because it's my Cake Day, I'll tell you a cake joke my little brother (10) told me

It's a Dutch joke but I'll try to explain

So I had made a cake recently, and it just stood there on the table. So my little brother comes up to me and says; 'Kijk daar!' (Look over there) while pointing at the cake. So when I looked at it he says; 'haha je keek' (haha you looked)



Keek = looked but it is pronounced as cake

Growing Up

My son, Bob, was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't return home again until the February break.

When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller he looked. Measuring him at home, I discovered he now stood at 5 feet, 11 inches. My son was as surprised as I. "Couldn't you tell by your clothes that you'd grown?" I asked him.

"Since I've been doing my own laundry," he replied, "I just figured everything had shrunk."

A man was dumping toxic waste into a river.

Suddenly, the sky darkened, lightning flashed, and a glowing woman appeared, hovering above the river.

**"For your crimes, I curse you to only speak in words related to water!",** she intoned, and then vanished in another flash of lightning.

The man stood, shocked, before gathering his wits and muttering, "Well dam".

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stood piped jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stood sat piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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