The Best 53 Stoners Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stoners jokes. There are some stoners rockers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stoners marijuana puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Stoners Jokes and Puns

What do you call a bunch of Mexican Stoners?

Baked Beans.

What do you call a boy-band composed of stoners?

No Direction.

I heard on the news

Stoners took over a town
This was a high coup

Stoners joke, I heard on the news

Alcoholics run right by stop signs...

Stoners wait for them to turn green

What do stoners and Sonny Bono have in common?

They both hit the trees hard.


What do cows that are stoners say?

420 graze it

Where do stoners keep their money?

In a joint account

Stoners joke, Where do stoners keep their money?

What's a stoners favorite marker?

A Highlighter

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common?

The higher they are, the more spaced out they get

All the Geology majors at my university smoke a lot weed.

I guess you could say that they're all a bunch of stoners.

Driving high versus driving drunk: Drunks run stop signs.

Stoners stop and wait for them to turn green.

You can explore stoners hippies reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stoners kush dad jokes. There are also stoners puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do French stoners smoke?

Oui-d

What do stoners say when they're leaving a party?

Lets blow this joint.

What do stoners and bacteria have in common?

Neither are considered intelligent life forms.

A new book for stoners aspiring to greatness

7 Habits of Effectively High People

What do stoners ride to school?

The cannibus

Stoners joke, What do stoners ride to school?

Why do stoners love English?

Because it's lit

Why do sharks like stoners?

Because they're baked snacks.

An old man walks up to a couple of stoners smoking a joint, and says,

Don't you know that smoking weed makes you ignorant and apathetic?

One of the potheads turns to him and replies, I don't know, and I don't care.


Why are so many Jews stoners?

It seems they still have a habit of being baked.

What do you call two stoners sharing a joint over dessert?

Joint custardy

Why do stoners spend so much money?

because they're high rollers

What happened to the marijuana when the stoners divorced?

They got joint custody

What's a stoners favorite word?

Here! (Must be said like you are holding a hit in)

Why do stoners make lousy poker players?

Because they keep smoking the pot.

CBS just greenlit a new soap opera centered around stoners

they're calling it "Mellow Drama".

What do millennial stoners play during recess?

Hash Tag.

How do stoners propose to one another?

Marriage, you wanna?

Why are stoners and prime numbers so similar?

The higher they are, the more spaced out they become

What's a stoners favorite dessert?

Baked goods

Why do stoners love the Pope?

He sell a bit.

I just joined a gym for real serious stoners.

*24 Hour Litness*

Why don't french stoners celebrate 420?

Because they're to busy celebrating 80!

How many stoners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, it's already LIT!

(Bonus:
-What do you call a stoner who recently broke up with his girlfriend?

-Homeless)

Jay and Silent Bob is only funny to non stoners.....

Jay and Silent Bob is only funny to non stoners..... Because everything is funny to real stoners.

What do Muslims and stoners have in common?

They both get stoned after smoking weed.

What is the first thing stoners do after getting married?

Roll their money into joint accounts.

Stoners everywhere are uniting to push for legalization of marijuana

It is a joint effort

What do Mexican stoners eat?

Carne e-sah dude

what do stoners and skinheads have in common

they both celebrate 4/20

Why are stoners such good mountain climbers?

because they're used to being high

What is the name of a medieval castle for stoners?

Fort Wenty

What religion is for stoners?

BahΓ‘'Γ­

The US Military today confirmed that two marijuana users were killed when an aircraft crashed into a house shortly after takeoff.

Experts are saying it's the first recorded instance of killing two stoners with one bird.

How come you never see stoners jog?

It's hard on their joints.

My friend asked me why I said the Palestinians were known for their weed

Well, I told him, they're all stoners.

What do you call it when two stoners try to screw in a light bulb?

A Joint Effort.

Two stoners are talking about religion, "Dude. Did you know that like, uh, God, he has a name?" The other replies, "Really dude? No way!"

The first answers, "Yahweh!"

I just watched a TV show where a bunch of stoners are sitting around having mild arguments.

It's a mellow drama.

What is a stoners favorite computer software?

Adoobe

Why do stoners like bells so much?

BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG!

What does a stoners mouth and shirt have in common?

They are both 100% cotton

What do stoners and arthritis have in common??

They both inflame joints.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stoners hipsters jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stoners dope piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes