Stomps Jokes
19 stomps jokes and hilarious stomps puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stomps that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Stomps Short Jokes
Short stomps jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stomps humour may include short stomped jokes also.
- Yo' Mama is so poor, when she picks a booger, she yells, "Clap your hands and stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got meat!"
- Do you know why Ducks have big flat feet? So they can stomp out forest fires.
Do you know why elephants have big flat feet?
So they can stomp out flaming Ducks. - Why do ducks have big flat feet? To stomp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have big flat feet?
To stomp out flaming ducks. - the miracle of being a teen mom when you get pregnant young and your baby is born, hes feet are so small but even so he manages to stomp your dreams and goals.
- When my parents told me there was no Santa Claus I was so mad at them! I stomped out the door, got in my car and drove away.
- A farmer in Utah allegedly stomped on a group of chickens during their evening game of kickball The police suspect foul play was afoot
- Summary of all famous dancing movies. You better step up and save the last dance before you get served stomping the yard, honey.
- I'm tired of people stomping all over my hard work, trampling on it without even noticing. Maybe I should quit my job at the doormat factory...
- A tomato dad, mother, and son are walking in a street. The tomato son falls behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on him, and yells, "Ketchup!"
- While on a busy freeway, a blonde suddenly stomps on the brakes. Why'd you do that? her friend says.
Didn't you see the sign? It said BREAK FAST AHEAD
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Stomps One Liners
Which stomps one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stomps? I can suggest the ones about stamps and stabs.
- What do you get when bigfoot stomps on your garden? Squash
- What goes stomp, stomp, stomp, squish? An elephant with a wet boot
- The suspect was stomped by the officer's mount... It was ruled a "use of excessive horse"
- Best tips to survive life? Don't get stomped on life.
- What's the best way to describe getting curb stomped? sole-crushing
- Would you like to make me wine? Join everyone stomping my grapes.
Gather Around for Heartwarming Stomps Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about stomps you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean trampled jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stomps pranks.
An insolent teenager stomps off to her room...
Teenager: "And another thing - JIM MORRISON s**...!"
Dad: "Hey! There'll be no slamming of the Doors in this house!"
A boy and his father are in an argument
Father: "I've had enough of this! Go to your room and don't come back out until you've thought long and hard about what you've done"
Son: "Fine, I didn't want to be here anyways"
Son: *Stomps up stairs*
Son: *Walks into his room, gently closes the door*
Son: "Jim Morrison s**...!"
Father: "What did I tell you about slamming The Doors!?"
An old lady gets into an accident with a midget...
...he gets out of the car, obviously furious, and stomps toward the old woman. "I am *not* happy," he growls.
The old woman, calm as can be, says:
"Well, which one are you, then?"
Back in the days of the USSR, two men stood in a block-long line for cucumbers...
Suddenly one of them snaps, and yells "This is an outrage! Waiting for hours for a couple of lousy cucumbers! I'm going to the Kremlin to assassinate the fools responsible for this!" and stomps off. A couple hours later, he's back.
One of the other people in line asks "Did you kill the guy in the Kremlin?"
The first guy responds "You think *this* line is long?"
A blonde woman is driving through the countryside when she spots another blonde woman sitting in a canoe in the middle of a field, trying to row through the grass.
Feeling very angry she pulls over her car, stomps over to the fence, and calls out to the woman in the canoe. It's women like you who make blondes look s**.... If I could swim I'd come out there and kick your a**...!
An inspector, making his rounds, inspects an elementary school.
One teacher says to her class, "Treat him like you would the President of the United States." Sure enough, later that day, the inspector walks in to see how the lesson is doing. Just then, one of the students gets up, stomps over to the inspector, punches him in the gut, nicks his phone, and hides behind a curtain.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" shouts the teacher.
The kid says, "Deleting Twitter."
A drunk walks out of a bar...(not sure if a repost. New to this sub)
He stumbles along the sidewalk and comes upon a nun walking toward him.
He sees her and his eyes grow big and he lurches at her and begins to wail on her.
He throws her to the ground and stomps and pummels her until she is no longer moving.
He gathers himself, stands up and dusts himself off.
As he turns to walk away, he says " not so tough tonight are you, Batman?"
Man is looking at the menu
The beautiful waitress comes up to the table and asks if they are ready to order. Man looks up from the menu, smiles and says, "'Can you get me a q**...?"
The waitress slaps the man in the face and stomps off.
Man sits there in shock as the person in the next booth leans over. "It's pronounced quiche"
My wife was in the garden.
She started yelling to me.
Her: There are two spiders here, "is that a mummy longlegs
under the daddy longlegs.?
Me: No don't be silly there are no mummy longlegs only daddy longlegs. "I felt pretty proud of myself with my answer.
Until she stomps on both spiders, "Well we are not having any of that gay s**... in our garden.
A drunk staggers into a Catholic confessional
and doesn't say anything. So after a few minutes, the priest, in an effort to get the man's attention coughs. The man doesn't respond, so the priest stomps his foot. Still nothing. Finally the priest bangs on the wall of the confessional. The man replies, "There's no use b**..., my friend, I don't have any toilet paper."
Dead Baby Jokes?
A mother who has just given birth waits expectantly for the nurse to return so she can hold her baby. A few minutes pass, and the nurse enters with the baby in her hands. The nurse then drops the baby on the ground, stomps on it's head and kicks it out of the window. The mother starts screaming 'My baby, my baby!!'
The nurse looks at the lady and says 'April Fools! He was already dead!'
A doctor brings new born baby to father
Doctor walks up to the father with baby in arms. He starts repeatedly punching it, k**... it and then throws it in the ground and stomps on it. The father was in shock with his jaw dropped. The doctor then says "just kidding, it was already dead"
