The Best 10 Stomach Pains Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stomach Pains jokes. There are some stomach pains jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stomach pains puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Stomach Pains Jokes and Puns

A Irishman, Mick goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pain...

Doctor: "Well I cant find anything wrong with you , it must be the drinking"
Mick : "Ill come back when you're sober Doctor"

A woman goes to the doctor

A woman goes to the doctor one day and tells him she's been having some stomach pains. In reply the doctor takes some samples and tells the woman to come back a week later when the results are in. So a week later the woman goes to the doctor and asks "So what's wrong with me?", "well..." says the doctor "in 6 months from now you be changing diapers.", in astonishment the woman exclaims "wow, I'm pregnant?", "No..." says the doctor "you have bowel cancer."

A 75 year old used to put his fake teeth in a jar of water before sleeping

He used to do this every night. One day he felt thirsty and accidentally drank the water which he put his dentures. The next day, he had severe stomach pain and went to the doctor.

The doctor examined him thoroughly, wiped his brow of sweat visibly shaking and said - In all my years being a doctor, I thought I had seen everything. But this is the first time, I saw an asshole smiling at me .

A blonde walks into a doctor's office, the doctor asks what's wrong and the blonde says "My entire body hurts!"

"Oh?" Said the doctor, "like a whole body ache?"

"No!" said the blonde "like everywhere is searing pain! Here I'll show you!"

The blonde pokes her shoulder "That really hurt!"

She pokes her stomach "That really hurt too!"

She bends down and pokes her knees "Both of those hurt super bad! Can you help me doctor!?"

The doctor looks at her, sighs, and says "Yes I can help you, in fact I solved your problem"

"What is it!?"

"Your finger's broken"

An very obese woman goes to the ER complaining about stomach pains

The nurse checks her in and takes her vitals. She asks if she's sexually actively, the patient says No

A while later the doctor comes in to do a pelvic exam and notices a baby's head crowning. He calls for labor and delivery and exasperated, asks the woman I thought you said you weren't sexually active?!

She replies I'm not, I just lay there.

Fear of hospitals

Fear of hospitals isn't irrational. I went to 1 once for stomach pain and I had a kid following me ever since calling me mom!

I've had some pain in my stomach ever since I ate those Radiohead and Arctic Monkeys CDs.

I think I've got indiegestion.

Went to a German restaurant yesterday and came back with crazy stomach pains. Couldn't get off the toilet.

It was the wurst.

A blonde goes to the doctor...

A blonde goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, I am in great pain! You have to help me!"

The doctor says "Okay. Point where on your body hurts.

The blonde then proceeds to point "My stomach, my nose, my knee, my back..."

The doctor interrupts and says "Calm down. I think you broke your finger."

An extremely obese man with severe stomach pains goes to see a doctor.

He can hardly stand, the pain is so bad. After an examination, the doctor is holding the x-rays and asks, "Did you at one time swallow a bullet?" The man answers, "Swallow a bullet? Of course not!" The doctor replies, "Well then, I'm afraid you've been shot!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stomach pains jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stomach pains piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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