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Stomach Pains Jokes

18 stomach pains jokes and hilarious stomach pains puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stomach pains that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Stomach Pains Short Jokes

Short stomach pains jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stomach pains humour may include short stomach ache jokes also.

  1. Fear of hospitals Fear of hospitals isn't irrational. I went to 1 once for stomach pain and I had a kid following me ever since calling me mom!
  2. I've had some pain in my stomach ever since I ate those Radiohead and Arctic Monkeys CDs. I think I've got indiegestion.
  3. Went to a German restaurant yesterday and came back with crazy stomach pains. Couldn't get off the toilet. It was the wurst.
  4. A Irishman, m**... goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pain... Doctor: "Well I cant find anything wrong with you , it must be the drinking"
    m**... : "Ill come back when you're sober Doctor"

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Stomach Pains One Liners

Which stomach pains one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stomach pains? I can suggest the ones about stomach hurting and stomach upset.

  1. The Indian man went to the doctor complaining about stomach pains. He had Hindigestion.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about stomach pains can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of stomach pains puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Heartwarming Stomach Pains Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about stomach pains you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean stomach jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make stomach pains prank.

A woman goes to the doctor

A woman goes to the doctor one day and tells him she's been having some stomach pains. In reply the doctor takes some samples and tells the woman to come back a week later when the results are in. So a week later the woman goes to the doctor and asks "So what's wrong with me?", "well..." says the doctor "in 6 months from now you be changing diapers.", in astonishment the woman exclaims "wow, I'm pregnant?", "No..." says the doctor "you have bowel cancer."

A 75 year old used to put his fake teeth in a jar of water before sleeping

He used to do this every night. One day he felt thirsty and accidentally drank the water which he put his dentures. The next day, he had severe stomach pain and went to the doctor.
The doctor examined him thoroughly, wiped his brow of sweat visibly shaking and said - In all my years being a doctor, I thought I had seen everything. But this is the first time, I saw an a**... smiling at me .

A blonde walks into a doctor's office, the doctor asks what's wrong and the blonde says "My entire body hurts!"

"Oh?" Said the doctor, "like a whole body ache?"
"No!" said the blonde "like everywhere is searing pain! Here I'll show you!"
The blonde pokes her shoulder "That really hurt!"
She pokes her stomach "That really hurt too!"
She bends down and pokes her knees "Both of those hurt super bad! Can you help me doctor!?"
The doctor looks at her, sighs, and says "Yes I can help you, in fact I solved your problem"
"What is it!?"
"Your finger's broken"

A horse goes to the vet complaining about stomach pains.

After some tests, the vet confirms it's a parasite. He gives the horse a prescription and tells him to come back if the problem persists.
The horse looks at the prescription, and becomes visibly nervous. "A dewomer? Are you sure it's safe?"
"Positive," says the vet, "it's been tested on people."

A man is in an emergency room complaining of severe stomach pains and bowel trouble. The physician says that the patient will need a r**... exam.

The doctor positions the patient on the bed on his side and puts on a latex glove.
As he lubes up his glove, he says, "Don't get excited and move too much like last time, Peter"
The patient says, "My name isn't Peter"
The doctor says, "Mine is"

An very obese woman goes to the ER complaining about stomach pains

The nurse checks her in and takes her vitals. She asks if she's s**... actively, the patient says No
A while later the doctor comes in to do a pelvic exam and notices a baby's head crowning. He calls for labor and delivery and exasperated, asks the woman I thought you said you weren't s**... active?!
She replies I'm not, I just lay there.

A blonde goes to the doctor...

A blonde goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, I am in great pain! You have to help me!"
The doctor says "Okay. Point where on your body hurts.

The blonde then proceeds to point "My stomach, my nose, my knee, my back..."
The doctor interrupts and says "Calm down. I think you broke your finger."

An extremely obese man with severe stomach pains goes to see a doctor. He can hardly stand, the pain is so bad. After an examination, the doctor is holding the x-rays and asks, "Did you at one time s**... a bullet?" The man answers, "s**... a bullet? Of course not!" The doctor replies, "Well then, I'm afraid you've been shot!"

Who will have child's custody

A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me." The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question. The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"

Big Chief, No f**....

In a small Native community the Medicine Man is making a potion when Big Chief of the Tribe who is suffering from severe constipation walks in and says
"Big Chief No f**..."
The Medicine man Gives him a Potion from the shelf. Big Chief walks away.
The next day Big Chief walks in again and says
"Big Chief No f**..."
The medicine man this time prepares a fresh potion and gives it to Big Chief, Big Chief walks away.
The following day Big Chief walks into the medicine man's hut in severe stomach pain and crying he says.
"Big Chief No f**...!"
This time the medicine man starts to throw every ingredient he has, including eye of newt into the p**.... and gives Big Chief the potion. Big chief walks away.
five minutes later Big Chief's Wife runs into the medicine man's hut yelling.
"Big f**..., No Chief!"

A man's logic

A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me." The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question. The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"

A woman has been having stomach pain for the past week...

A woman goes to the doctor complaining of stomach cramps. Once she reaches the doctor, he tells her they'll need to run a few tests. At the end of the visit, he says she must come back in a week, when the results come in. Once she enters his office, he says, "Well, I hope you're ready for many sleepless nights of crying and changing dirty diapers!"
"Wow, you mean I'm pregnant?" the woman asks excitedly, clasping her hands.
"No, you have inoperable bowel cancer."

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these stomach pains jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.