Stomach Ache Jokes
31 stomach ache jokes and hilarious stomach ache puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stomach ache that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Stomach Ache Short Jokes
Short stomach ache jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stomach ache humour may include short stomach pains jokes also.
- Every time my mom burns my grilled cheese sandwich I get a stomach ache... I guess I'm black toast intolerant.
- What do you call a stomach ache you get from eating a Cuban sandwich? Castro-intestinal distress.
- I had a stomach ache... My SO asked what's wrong,
I said "I have a clog in my intestines"
she responds with "you need to stop eating shoes" - I'm suffering from a more rare kind of stomach ache. It's called Indiegestion, I doubt you've heard of it before.
- I hit someone with my car and ate them afterwards. It gave me a stomach ache. It was a case of hit and runs.
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Stomach Ache One Liners
Which stomach ache one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stomach ache? I can suggest the ones about stomach hurting and stomach upset.
- There is only one type of cake I don't like Stomach ache
- Why did the Cannibal logician get a stomach ache? Someone he ate disagreed with him.
- What did the chick pea say when it got a stomach ache? I falafel.
- What do ghosts take when they have a stomach ache? PhanTUMS
- What does a Jew, in Poland with a Stomach ache have? The Auschits
- I think I'm allergic to cats. They give me stomach aches.
- What gave the blonde a stomach ache? Nivea milk.
- What does h**... call a stomach ache? Mein Cramps
Hilarious Fun Stomach Ache Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about stomach ache you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stomach jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stomach ache pranks.
Chinese Sick Day
h**... Chow calls in to work and say,
"Hey boss, I no come work today, I very sick. Got headache, stomach ache, and legs hurt. I no come work today"
The boss says, "You know something h**... Chow, I really need you today. When I get sick like you do, I go to my wife and ask for s**.... That make everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later h**... Chow calls again and says,
"I try what you say and I feel great! I be at work soon. You have really nice house by the way!"
Chinese man calls in sick
h**... Chow calls in work and say, "Hey, I no come work today. I really sick, got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come to work."
The boss says, "You know what h**..., I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and ask her for s**.... That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later h**... Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
Helpful Daughter
Little Susie, a six year old , complained:"Mother, I've got a stomach ache."
"That's because our stomach is empty", the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."
That afternoon her daddy came complaining that he had a severe headache all day.
Susie perked up: " That's because it's empty", she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."
Lee has a terrible headache
Lee calls in work and say "I no come work today. I really sick, got headache, stomach ache, and legs hurt. I no come to work today."
His boss says "I really need you today, Lee. You know, whenever I am not feeling OK like you, I go ask my wife for s**.... I always feel better after."
A couple of hours later, Lee calls in. "I do what you say. I feel great now. I be at work soon. You have nice house"
The Trap
A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her by having an affair with the maid, so she laid down a trap.
One evening, she suddenly sent the maid home and didn't tell her husband.
That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story, "Please excuse me my dear, my stomach aches" and went to the bathroom.
The wife promptly went and got into the maid's bed. She switched the lights off. When he came in silently, he wasted no time or words and had his way with her.
When they were finished and both still panting, the wife said, "Well my dear, you didn't expect to find me in this bed, did you?" And turned on the light.
"Absolutely not!", said her son.
Billy Bob calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work."
The boss says, "You know Billy Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me s**.... That makes everything better and I can go to work. You should try that."
Two hours later, Billy Bob calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
A blonde walks into a doctor's office, the doctor asks what's wrong and the blonde says "My entire body hurts!"
"Oh?" Said the doctor, "like a whole body ache?"
"No!" said the blonde "like everywhere is searing pain! Here I'll show you!"
The blonde pokes her shoulder "That really hurt!"
She pokes her stomach "That really hurt too!"
She bends down and pokes her knees "Both of those hurt super bad! Can you help me doctor!?"
The doctor looks at her, sighs, and says "Yes I can help you, in fact I solved your problem"
"What is it!?"
"Your finger's broken"
Put Something In It
Little Susie, a six-year-old, complained, "Mother, I've got a stomach ache."
"That's because your stomach is empty," the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."
That afternoon, her father came complaining that he had a severe headache all day. Susie perked up, "That's because it's empty," she said.
"You'd feel better if you had something in it."
A man had a terrible stomach ache and rushed into the restroom
A janitor walked into his moaning and groaning. Concerned, he knocked on the stall and asked:
"What's the matter?"
The man replied:
"Solid, liquid, gas... maybe even some plasma..."
Little Johnny is complaining to his mother early in the morning
'Mum, I have a stomach ache...'
'Don't worry, honey,' says the mother. 'It's only aching because you have an empty stomach.'
Little Johnny acknowledges this and calms down. In the evening, Little Johnny's parents welcome an esteemed guest: the Under Secretary of Interior. During the course of the evening, the Under Secretary says:
'Dear Madam, could I get some painkiller please? I have a horrible headache...'
Little Johnny looks up from his drawing in the corner and says:
'Don't worry, sir! It's only aching because you have an empty head!'
Big Chief
There once was a great Native Village Chief, named Akimbe, living in the peacefulness America had to offer. One day, he fell victim to an awful stomach ache, so he decided to consult the village Medicine Man.
"Big Chief no f**...!" Said the Chief.
"Take this herbal remedy" said the Medicine Man. "It will clear you of your problems".
The next day, the Chief returned to the Medicine Man, frustrated saying: "Big Chief no f**...!"
The Medicine Man doubled the dosage and sent the Chief on his way.
The next day, the Chief returns to the medicine man, furious. "BIG CHIEF NO f**...!"
Afraid, the Medicine man gives the Chief the most potent remedy he has, hoping to clear him for good.
The next day, the Chief's wife pays a visit to the Medicine Man:
"Big f**..., no Chief!"