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Stolen Bike Jokes

15 stolen bike jokes and hilarious stolen bike puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stolen bike that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Stolen Bike Short Jokes

Short stolen bike jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stolen bike humour may include short stolen car jokes also.

  1. Why do anti-vaxxers not lock their bikes? Because they know someone whose locked bike was still stolen.
  2. The saddest thing in the world is a child's cry after their bike is stolen So I try to pedal away as fast as I can.
  3. A friend told me he saw a black guy on a stolen bike getting hit by a train I rushed home, afraid that it was mine.
    But thankfully, mine was still in my basement shining my shoes.
  4. What do my bike and the world cup have in common? Both were stolen from me by a group of Croatians.

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Stolen Bike One Liners

Which stolen bike one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stolen bike? I can suggest the ones about street bike and stolen.

  1. When you buy a stolen bike after your bike gets stolen... ...it's a buy-cycle
  2. I reported my bike stolen, now the thief can't use it anymore. Since the police is on it.

Stolen Bike Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about stolen bike you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean car theft jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stolen bike pranks.

A pastor discovered his bicycle had been stolen

He decided to use it as inspiration for that week's sermon, and began writing on the Ten Commandments, especially thou shalt not steal
Then he got to thou shalt not commit adultery and remembered where he left his bike.

the case for the lost bicycle

A Methodist preacher and a Baptist preacher live in a small southern town. Every day, they pass each other on their bycycles as they ride to their respective churches. One day, the Methodist notices the Baptist walking.
He says "Brother, where is your bicycle?"
"My heart is heavy, for I fear that a member of my congregation has stolen it" replied the Baptist.
"That's horrible." Thinking for a moment, the Methodist has an idea. "I know how we might get your bike back. This Sunday, you should preach the ten commandments. When you get to thou shalt not steal, really bear down on it. Maybe the theif will feel guilty and return your bike."
"That's a great idea, I'll try it!"
Sure enough, the following Monday, the Methodist preacher sees the Baptist Preacher riding his bike.
"I see my plan worked" said the Methodist.
"Well, not exactly" replied the Baptist. "I did like you said, and gave a real fire and brimstone sermon on the ten commandments. However, when I got to thou shalt no commit adultery, I remembered where I left my bike."

A man goes to his local church to confess...

Man: Father, I have sinned.
Priest: And how how have you sinned?
Man: I have stolen someone's bike, and am now here to give it to you.
Priest: No, no - don't give it to me; return it to the person you have stolen it from and you shall be forgiven.
Man: I did that, but he said he didn't want it.
Priest: In that case, you may keep the bike for yourself.
The man leaves, and after the day is over, the priest comes out of the church to find his bike missing.

A guy gets his bike stolen from synagogue...

He goes to see his rabbi one day and says,
"Rabbi you won't believe what happened to me! Last week someone stole my bicycle from synagogue!"
The rabbi is deeply upset by this, but after thinking for a moment he offers a solution:
"Next week come to services, sit in the fron row, and when we recite the Ten Commandments, turn around and look at the people behind you. Aand when we get to 'Thou shalt not steal,' see who can't look you in the eyes and that's your guy."
The rabbi is very pleased with his suggestion, and so is the man. At the next service, the rabbi is very curious to learn whether his advice panned out. He waits for the man by the doors of the synagogue, and asks him,
"So, did it work?"
"Like a charm," the man answers. "The moment we got to 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' I remembered where I left my bike!"
Complements of the book, "The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty" by Dan Ariely

Young John goes to church with his bike...

yet he is standing outside. An old lady comes up to John and asks him "Why are you not inside the church but here with your bike?" Young John replies, "Well you see miss, I don't want my bike to be stolen so I always stay with it outside." The old lady then tells John, "Don't worry my child, the holy ghost will guard your bike and make sure that no one will steal it!" So Young John leaves his bike outside and walks into the church, and starts praying. "In the name of the Father, the Son." And finishes off the rest of the prayer. An old man heard what he was saying and asks John. "What about the holy ghost?" Young John quickly answers, "He's outside guarding my bike!"

A pastor bikes to his friends house every monday...

One Monday, the Pastor shows up 3 hours later than usual. His friend asks, "Why were you so late today?"
The Pastor replies, "My bike was stolen so I had to walk here."
His friend thinks for a minute and says "I know how you can get your bike back. Next Sunday, preach on the 10 Commandments and when you get to 'Thou Shall Not Steal', look at the congregation for anyone who looks guilty. That's the person who stole your bike"
The following Monday the Pastor shows up at his friends house on his bike. "Good news! I followed your advice and preached on the 10 Commandments," said the Pastor. "But when I got to 'Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery,' I remembered where I left my bike"

The Priest Who Lost His Bike

A Rabbi and a Priest are very close friends. Every weekend they would go out together and ride their bikes. One Day the Rabbi was waiting for the Priest, but when the Priest showed up, he didn't have his bike! "What happened?" asked the Rabbi "Where's your bike?" "I don't know." the Priest replied, "Someone must have stolen it!" "That's unacceptable!" the Rabbi screamed, you must find out who did this!" "But how?" asked the Priest. "I have an idea! You should give all of your people a long lecture about the ten commandments and when you get to the 8th one (Thou shall not steal) scream at the people until on of them gives in to stealing your bike." "Good idea!" the Priest replied. Next week the Priest show up with his bike! "You found your bike!" the Rabbi said happily, what happened?" "Your idea worked perfectly!" the Priest said, "I was screaming at the people about the ten commandments, and right before the 8th one, was the 7th (Thou shall not commit adultery) and then I remembered where I left my bike!