Stol Jokes

What are some Stol jokes?

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you..

You have my Word.

Whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I'm coming after you...

You have my word

Who ever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in trouble.

You have my Word.

I stole a stripper's kid.

It was like taking baby from a Candi.

Somebody stole my mood ring

I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.

Someone stole my flashlight.

I'm not annoyed. I'm delighted.

My stolen card

Police : why didn't you report the stolen credit card ?
Me : The thief was spending less than my wife

To whoever stole my thesaurus...

To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You're a bad person.

Someone stole my mood ring...

I'm not sure how I feel about that....

If someone stole a Tesla

Would it be called an Edison?

Someone stole my coffee cup from work today.

Just off down the police station now to look at a few mug shots.

Someone Stole My Microsoft Office and They're Going To Pay For It,

You Have My Word.

Someone stole my Microsoft office from my laptop. I will find you and I will get you.

You have my Word.

Someone stole my copy of Microsoft office..

I will track you down, you have my word.

I stole a Tom Cruise movie from the store the other day...

It was Risky Business.

Some one has stolen my thesaurus.

I can't find the words to describe how angry i am.

Someone stole my coffee.

He was charged with mugging.

Someone stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our local store.

I don't know how they can sleep at night.

Somebody stole my mood ring...

...I don't know how I feel about that.

Someone stole my wife's credit card

But I don't want him found. He is spending less than she was.

Credit : The Murder Room

(Stolen Joke) An atheist and christian are sitting in a bar

The christian asks, "So how come you don't embrace Jesus?"
The atheist says, "You've got it wrong. I love Jesus!"
He goes on, "It's his fan club I can't stand!"

Someone stole a kitchen utensil from my house

He said it was a whisk worth taking

Whoever stole my anti-depressants,

I hope your happy now.

Someone stole all the toilets from the local police station

Detectives have nothing to go on.

Someone stole all the toilet seats at the station!

Authorities have nothing to go on.

Just stole some energy bars from a store. I'm a joule thief.

I have now stolen 56 copies of the board game "Risk" from local retailers.

When they eventually catch me, I'll say "Life is all about taking Risks."

Somebody stole my Microsoft Office...

But I'll get my revenge. You have my Word.

After I stole the priceless statue and turned the corner, I collided into the female security guard's chest...

...It was a huge bust.

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...

I will find you; you have my Word. You've taken my one only good Outlook in life. Seriously though, how did you gain Access & why did you only leave OneNote?

I stole some tools from my last kitchen job...

It was a whisk I was willing to take.

Someone stole my pen today.

I was robbed at ballpoint.

Someone stole Β£5000 worth of Red Bull from a local delivery truck.

How do these people sleep at night?

I stole a toilet seat from a police station once, and they never figured out it was me.

They had nothing to go on.

So i stole this joke from I Love Lucy, So a woman walks into a restaurant

The woman says to the waiter, "Two pork chops, and make them lean." And the waiter says, "Yes, ma'am. Which way?"

Someone stole my identity

I hope they can do a better job with it.

I stole a walking pole from a blind man earlier...

He wasn't looking

Someone stole my antidepressants

Whoever you are, I'm not happy

Stolen Gate

The other day, I looked out my window to see two guys stealing my side gate!

I didn't say anything to them though.

I didn't want them to take offence.

Someone stole my empty batteries....

But it's ok, they were free of charge!

I stole a Vibrator once

I did it for the buzz.

Somebody stole my Car

An Irishman walks out of a pub, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches,

"Can I help you lad?"

"Yesss, Sssshombody stol me car!" the Irishman replies.

The cop asks, "Well now, where was your car the last time you saw it?"

"It was at the end of this key"

About this time the cop looks down to see that the Irishman's member is being exhibited for all to see.

He then asks, "Are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

The Irishman looks down woefully and moans "OOH GOD...they got me girlfriend too!!"

Stolen from the broken shower thread: hillbilly joke

Two hillbillies got married. On their wedding night, the hillbilly groom admitted that he was a virgin and didn't really know what to do.

The hillbilly bride, who was much experienced, just giggled and said, "Silly, you just take that thing you play with and put it where I pee." So he got up, grabbed his banjo and threw it in the sink.

Someone stole all my credit cards

I won't be reporting it though, the thief spends less than my wife.

To whoever stole my AC window unit:

Keep it. It's hot where you're going

Someone Stole My Glasses Today.

I didn't see that coming.

I didn't see them going either.

What wasn't stolen when CVS was looted during the Baltimore riots?

The Father's Day cards.

I just stole a kitchen utensil

It was a whisk worth taking

I stole my girlfriends wheelchair.

I knew she would be crawling back for me.ο»Ώ

Someone stole my limbo pole

How low can you go?

Someone stole my duck

I guess you could say he was abduckted.

I once stole a pornographic book

that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.

Someone stole my calendar. Bad news for them...

They have to attend my mother-in-law's party next weekend.

I stole a pistol made from gelatin the other day...

I was arrested for having a congealed weapon.

Someone stole the coffin at my grandfather's funeral.

I couldn't bereave it!

Someone stole the toilet from the police station.

The worst part is the police have nothing to go on.

To whoever stole my camouflage jacket and my crutches.....

.... you can hide but you can't run!

(Stolen idea but funny) My kid embarrassed me by throwing a huge fit and rolling around on the floor when I took him shopping.

That's the last time I take an epileptic kid to the strobe light store

Someone stole all the ladders from my farm

I guess they really wanted to get high

I stole a bike

And then got accused of cultural appropriation

Someone stole my winter hat...

I guess they just toque it.

Someone stole my phone

That was uncalled for.

You stole my viola, cello, and double bass.

You made me so angry, I'm violint now.

Someone stole my glasses while I wasn't looking

I was robbed blind.

Somebody stole my ruler.

My disappointment is immeasurable.

How to make Stol jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Stol to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Stol? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Stol pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes