The Best 7 Stock Trading Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stock Trading jokes. There are some stock trading jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stock trading puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Stock Trading Jokes and Puns

CEO Brian Krzanich sold his stock, and it might be considered insider trading...

You could say he had certain Intel about the situation.

This could turn into a total Meltdown.

Stock Market Report

Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.

Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Pencils lost a few points.

Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading.

Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged.

The market for raisins dried up. Balloon prices were inflated. And toilet paper touched a new bottom.

At first, I was merely a stock trading enthusiast…

…but now I'm fully invested.

Why did Robinhood steal from the rich?

He actually didn't he instead limited what the working class could trade in stocks in order for the rich to make money. Disney lied.

What's the difference between a drummer and publicly traded stock?

Publicly traded stock will mature and make money.


I used to be a stock trader when I was a fetus, until my mother was arrested.

For inside her trading.

The say your last name speaks to your ancestor's trade or status or of their nature. I put some stock in that so that's why...

I never let my son play with the Dickinson family next door.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stock trading jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stock trading piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes