Stock Broker Jokes
18 stock broker jokes and hilarious stock broker puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stock broker that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Stock Broker Short Jokes
Short stock broker jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stock broker humour may include short stock market jokes also.
- Why did the Stock Broker quit his job to become a Baker? He overheard some great advice. "BUY DOUGH, SELL PIE!"
....I'll see myself out. - The stock broker said to his mistress I'm going to put everything I've got into rubber, and if it comes off I'll marry you.
- What do you get when you cross a stock broker, a detective, and an alligator? An investigator.
- Why did the woman's visit to wall street land her in the hospital? Because the stock broker!
- Why did the stock broker not get upset when his wife divorced him? Because he's got lots of options.
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Stock Broker One Liners
Which stock broker one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stock broker? I can suggest the ones about broker and stock.
- I am a stock broker I am broke after investing in stocks
- What do you call a stock broker that also works as a private eye? An Invest-igator
- What's a stock broker's favorite band? Green Day
- What does a stock broker and a gym rat have in common? NEED MORE GAINS
- Did you here about the gynecologist stock broker? He made a fortune on speculation.
Great Stock Broker Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about stock broker you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean investment banker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stock broker pranks.
The f**...
One day a man dies and in his will, he leaves $300,000 to his stock broker, financial adviser and his lawyer, each one receiving $100,000. In the will he also states that he wants all 3 of them to to leave half of the money they received ($50,000) in his coffin after the f**....
The day of the f**... comes and each man approaches the coffin to do what was asked of them and once they're all done, they meet up at the bar.
After a few drinks, the stock broker speaks up "I gotta be honest with you guys. I only left $10,000 in the coffin. But I mean, it's not like he'll be able to spend it, right?"
To which the financial adviser admits "Hey, don't feel bad. I only left $5,000 in the coffin. I mean, is he really expecting us to throw away that much money?"
At which point the lawyer speaks up and says in a disapproving tone "I can't believe you guys would be so greedy! I'll have you know I left a check for the full $50,000 in his coffin like he asked!"
Four guys were golfing when one gets a phone call and walks away
The other three guys start talking about how successful their sons have been. The first guy explains how his son started as an entry level stock broker, but now owns his own wealth management firm. The last time he got a friend a gift, he gave him a half-million dollar investment portfolio. The second guy then brags about his son. My son is so successful, he started out as a used car salesman but now owns his own dealership. He recently gave a friend a brand new Bentley as a birthday gift. The third guy, not to be outdone, says that his son started as a carpenter but now owns a construction company. The last gift he gave a friend was a brand new house. At this point, the fourth guy returns from his call. The other gentleman ask about his son, to which he replies "Well, I'm not too pleased with my son right now. He has been unemployed for the last year and a half, and he recently told me he is gay." As the other men look at him in horror, he continues "But he must be really good at what he does, because his last three boyfriends gave him a huge stock portfolio, and new luxury car, and a brand new house."
Four men went golfing together one day...
Three headed to the first tee and one went into the club house to take care of the bill.
The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder and he's so successful that he gave a friend a new home - for free."
The second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend two Cadillac's."
The third man, not wanting to be outdone bragged, "My son is a stock broker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio."
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?" The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay. He is also amazing. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, two cars, and a stock portfolio."