Stitch Jokes

If you're a fan of Disney's Lilo & Stitch over the years you've heard your fair share of stitch up jokes! Whether you're looking for a good laugh or a unique way to show your love for the lovable alien, this collection of stitch jokes has something for everyone. From cross stitch puns to play on words, to appendectomy quips, these stitch jokes will have you in stitches!

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Stitch Jokes and Friends

A carpenter, a tailor, a sailor, a priest and an economist were stranded on a desert island.

"I could chop down the trees and make a raft." Says the carpenter.
"I can stitch a few sheets into a mast."
Says the tailor.
"I can navigate the oceans with the help of the stars."
Says the sailor.
"I will pray for favourable winds and good luck."
Says the the priest.
All they needed now was to chop down a tree to make the raft.
"That's easy," says the economist. "Let's assume an axe."

I had a patient the other day who didn't want to let me stitch up his laceration. I said fine...

Suture self

Should you tie or stitch your loose ends?

Maybe sew maybe knot!

After the operation I say to the doctor...

"Look, I'm gonna try to save some money and stitch myself back up."
"Are you sure?" He says, "alright, suture self."

Why do Germans believe in procrastinating?

Because a stitch in time saves nein.

Doctor she too loose

A man brings his wife to the doctor's office and says, "Doc, you have to stitch her up down there she's too loose."
The doctor says, "Why don't you use the other hole?"
The man says "I don't want her to get pregnant."

I want to make a Russian coffee table book based on s**... positions using cross stitch images. I will call it...

The c**... suture.

Stitch joke, I want to make a Russian coffee table book based on s**... positions using cross stitch images. I wi

Rhianna is writing the soundtrack for the new Lilo and Stitch movie

It's about how Stitch develops a gambling problem


What do you get when your surgeon laughs right before surgery?

A stitch in your side...

I tore the elbow of my shirt last week, but I was able to stitch it back together.

On the hole, it's held up surprisingly well.

A stitch in time...

keeps Daddy happy.

You can explore stitch appendectomy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stitch sewed dad jokes. There are also stitch puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A tailor goes into a bank....

It was a stitch

7 tries to eat 9 but fails...

Because a stitch in time saves 9.

Why did the mad scientist stitch the three left-wing politicians together?

He was trying to make a right-wing one.

A stitch in time...

Would confuse Einstein

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the stitch cross stitch puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working stitch stitch up piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

Joko Jokes