The Best 14 Stitch Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Stitch jokes. There are some stitch medics jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stitch cut puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Stitch Jokes and Puns

A carpenter, a tailor, a sailor, a priest and an economist were stranded on a desert island.

"I could chop down the trees and make a raft." Says the carpenter.
"I can stitch a few sheets into a mast."
Says the tailor.
"I can navigate the oceans with the help of the stars."
Says the sailor.
"I will pray for favourable winds and good luck."
Says the the priest.
All they needed now was to chop down a tree to make the raft.
"That's easy," says the economist. "Let's assume an axe."

I had a patient the other day who didn't want to let me stitch up his laceration. I said fine...

Suture self

After the operation I say to the doctor...

"Look, I'm gonna try to save some money and stitch myself back up."
"Are you sure?" He says, "alright, suture self."

Why do Germans believe in procrastinating?

Because a stitch in time saves nein.

Doctor she too loose

A man brings his wife to the doctor's office and says, "Doc, you have to stitch her up down there she's too loose."
The doctor says, "Why don't you use the other hole?"
The man says "I don't want her to get pregnant."


I want to make a Russian coffee table book based on sex positions using cross stitch images. I will call it...

The commie suture.

Rhianna is writing the soundtrack for the new Lilo and Stitch movie

It's about how Stitch develops a gambling problem

>STITCH BETTA HAVE MY MONEY

Stitch joke, Rhianna is writing the soundtrack for the new Lilo and Stitch movie

What do you get when your surgeon laughs right before surgery?

A stitch in your side...

I tore the elbow of my shirt last week, but I was able to stitch it back together.

On the hole, it's held up surprisingly well.

A stitch in time...

keeps Daddy happy.

A tailor goes into a bank....

It was a stitch

You can explore stitch appendectomy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stitch sewed dad jokes. There are also stitch puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


7 tries to eat 9 but fails...

Because a stitch in time saves 9.

Why did the mad scientist stitch the three left-wing politicians together?

He was trying to make a right-wing one.

A stitch in time...

Would confuse Einstein

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stitch crochet puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working stitch transplant piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes