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Stirred Jokes

53 stirred jokes and hilarious stirred puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stirred that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Liven up your next gathering with some shaken, not stirred jokes! Whether your drink of choice is gin, caffeine, or ingredients of your liking, the Stirred Jokes will have the whole room laughing in no time. Learn some new jokes and get the party started!

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Funniest Stirred Short Jokes

Short stirred jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stirred humour may include short shaken jokes also.

  1. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... I really should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors.
  2. Sir Roger Moore, prominent James bond actor has passed away His family say that they are shaken.... but not stirred
  3. My wife gave out to me this morning, because our fridge was full of stir fry. Oh god I must have being sleep wokking again.
  4. the butter churner asked the milk "whats wrong..." the milk responded "im just a bit stirred up but ill be butter in a while"
  5. Did you hear about how James Bond slept through an earthquake? He was shaken, not stirred.
  6. What's the difference between a chef and a homosexual? One stirs today's food and the other stirs yesterday's.
  7. I heard the ladies really like a good stir fry. You can tell by the way I use my wok, I'm a woman's man.
  8. Protip: If you stir some coconut oil into your kale It makes it easier to scrape into the trash
  9. What do you say when a stirring utensil is doing something unsafe? Hey that's whisky behavior
  10. Talk about a type-cast... Why did James Bond hire a bartender with Parkinson's?
    ... Every drink was shaken, not stirred.

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Stirred One Liners

Which stirred one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stirred? I can suggest the ones about agitated and stir fry.

  1. What do you call a zombie making stir-fry? Dead man woking
  2. Whoever invented the teaspoon caused quite a stir.
  3. did you ever hear the one about the racist teaspoon? it caused quite a stir
  4. My friend stirs soup with his left hand. But I stir soup with a spoon.
  5. What do you call a zombie that cooks stir-frys ? Dead Man Wok-ing ...
  6. Why was the teaspoon arrested? For causing such a stir!!
  7. If you leave a spoon alone in a drink for too long It gets stir crazy
  8. Just fought the James Bond. I was really shaken. But not stirred.
  9. How does Pac-Man make a stir-fry? With a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok...
  10. My ex's brain is like a blender It's not always on, but when it is it's stirring up sh*t.
  11. Which national holiday is also an online cooking assistant? e-stir
  12. I needed to buy a new pan to stir fry a large meal I decided to go for a wok.
  13. What was shaken and is now stirred? Haiti.
  14. A muslim opens a stir-fry restaurant in Hawaï. He called it "Aloha-Wok-bar".
  15. Lou Reed really doesn't like spicy stir-fries. He always takes his wok on the mild side.

Shaken Stirred Jokes

Here is a list of funny shaken stirred jokes and even better shaken stirred puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker? Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.
  • What do you get when you combine Robert Frost and James Bond? The Road Not Shaken but Stirred.
  • How can you tell if James Bond has died? If he has been shaken and not stirred!!
  • How do you describe someone who can't wake up during a nightmare? Shaken not stirred.
  • Mr. Bond is really getting into homeopathy... He prefers his water shaken, not stirred.
  • Sir Roger Moore has died aged 89. His family are said to be shaken but not stirred.
  • One morning I woke up lying on the floor next to my bed. I realised there must have been an earthquake that night........ I was shaken, but not stirred :p
  • What does James Bond say after a heavy workout? I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred.
  • How does Michael J Fox take his martinis? Shaken. Not stirred
  • Michael J. Fox walks into a bar The bartender asks how do you want your martini? Shaken or stirred?
    He says nah I got it.

Shaken Not Stirred Jokes

Here is a list of funny shaken not stirred jokes and even better shaken not stirred puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Michael J Fox has watched too many James Bond movies... Now he's shaken, not stirred.
  • I like my baby like I like my drinks Shaken, not stirred.
  • Why does James Bond like Michael J Fox? Because he always gets his martini shaken, not stirred.
  • I like my babies like I like my Martinis... Shaken not stirred
  • James Bond love Michael J. Fox's martinis. They're shaken, not stirred.
  • Why doesn't Sean Connery have any grown up children? He prefers them shaken, not stirred.
  • Why can't Michael J. Fox have his favorite drink? Because his favorite drink is a v**... Martini, stirred, not shaken.
  • What is the epileptic bartender's signature drink? v**... martini, shaken not stirred
  • 007 then and now 007 then:
    Shaken not stirred.
    007 now:
    Trimmed not s**....
Stirred joke, 007 then and now

Stirred joke, 007 then and now

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about stirred can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of stirred puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Silly & Ridiculous Stirred Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about stirred you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean poured jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make stirred prank.

Michael J. Fox asked James Bond to come over for dinner one night.

Being a polite host, he offered Bond a drink when he arrived. "What'll ya have?" he asked.
"I'll have a Martini," Bond replied.
"How do you want it?" Michael J. Fox asked.
"Shaken, not stirred."
"Oh, thank God."

A man woke up sobbing

"The world is a cruel uncaring void!" he cried. "Pleasure is fleeting but pain is eternal! Hope is a mirage! What cruel God made this reality!?"
Next to him, his wife stirred.
"Oh honey...is it Monday already...?"

A foreign country's leader was cooking a small p**... of prime ribs

While cooking, he stirred the p**.... It was a prime mini stir

A group of celebrities are at a party hosted by Michael J Fox

The night is a huge success and everyone is enjoying themselves. Michael's working the bar when he's approached by Daniel Craig
Daniel Craig: Martini. shaken not stirred
Michael J Fox: *Looks up* There's a difference?

"Excuse me, is this pool stirred up by angels and imbued with healing properties?"

"No, Sir, I'm afraid this font is sans-Seraph."

When James Bond visits Arabia, he still prefers his drinks...

Sheikhen, not stirred.

Stirred joke, One morning I woke up lying on the floor next to my bed. I realised there must have been an earthqua

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these stirred jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.