The Best 35 Stir Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Stir jokes. There are some stir altruistic jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these stir mingle puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Stir Jokes and Puns
Why was the teaspoon arrested?
For causing such a stir!!
did you ever hear the one about the racist teaspoon?
it caused quite a stir
What do you call a hoe that you use to stir a fire.
An ash hoe.
While cooking dinner this happened.
I was making stir fry and opened a bag of peas. One pea gets lose and rolls off the counter. It was like slow motion as I watched it hit floor and roll under the stove. I turned to my wife who also witnessed the incident and said: "We have an escape pea." ...got a laugh
Why does asparagus make your pee smell so bad?
Next time I'm just going to stir it with a straw like everybody else
How do you stir the politics in a Coca Cola drink?
You add ices.
How to get rid of ants.
Go to Home Depot or Wall-mart and buy a can of black spray paint. Any brand works great.
Stir up each ant mound as you go and the area around them with a stick.
The ants will emerge by the hundreds to defend the mounds. Spray each mound and the surrounding area, making sure you get plenty of paint on the ants as well.
Once the ants realize they live in a black neighborhood, they quit working and start killing each other.
The Tea Survey
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were taking part in a survey about tea-drinking habits.
'I always stir my tea with my left hand,' said The Englishman.
'I always stir my tea with my right hand,' said The Scotsman.
How about you?' the Irishman was asked.
'Oh me?' said the Irishman, 'I always use a spoon.'
The stir fry chef had to make a difficult decision.
He was between a wok and a hot plate.
How to deal with an anthill
Next time you have an anthill problem, here is what you do;
Grab yourself a can of black spray paint and cover the entire anthill in it. Then grab a stick or something of the sort and stir the paint in. Once all the ants realize they now live in a black neighborhood, they stop working and start shooting each other.
I cant find my large stir fry pan
It's like it just gets up and Woks away
You can explore stir alkaline reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean stir cauldron dad jokes. There are also stir puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I'm the teacher of a culinary arts class.
Occasionally I'll tell my students to "Stir it every now and then, just to mix it up a little."
"Which hand do you use to stir your coffee?"
"My right?"
"How original, I use a spoon"
Did you hear about the troublesome teaspoon?
It went into the kitchen and caused a stir.
Protip: If you stir some coconut oil into your kale
It makes it easier to scrape into the trash
They Should Make A Star Wars Themed Cooking Competition.
They could call it Stir Wars.
Why do Chinese people stir their tea clockwise while the Japanese stir it anticlockwise?
To dissolve the sugar.
(Courtesy of my dad)
My friend stirs soup with his left hand.
But I stir soup with a spoon.
Why would you use your right hand to stir your coffee?
I would use a spoon.
Coffee drinking trio
3 friends are bragging about their coffee drinking habits.
1st: I take it dark, thick and black. It's so strong, the spoon stands upright in my cup when I stir it.
2nd: big deal, at least you use a cup. I pour it directly from the kettle into my mouth.
3rd: yeah? We'll I don't even use a kettle. I chew the coffee beans, drink some water and just go sit on the stove for a while.
What do you say when a stirring utensil is doing something unsafe?
Hey that's whisky behavior
Have I told you about the time I met Steven Tyler and he taught me how to cook stir fry?
He told me to "wok this way."
What do the inhabitants of Endor use to cook their stir frys?
An Ewok
Using a cinnamon stick to stir your eggnog isn't a religious practice.
It's egg-nog-stick.
I just witnessed Elvis cooking stir fry...
First time I've ever seen a dead man wok-ing.
Stirlitz
Stirlitz saw how two German soldiers pour a gasoline on a cat and set it on fire. Poor cat runs in agony and after few seconds fall on ground and dies. He ran out of fuel - Stirlitz said.
Did you hear about the soup chef that was admitted to the insane asylum?
He went stir crazy.
A man buys a mixer
A man bought a kitchen mixer on sale from the thrift shop, every time he used it, the batter would splatter, but it was too late by the time he realized it did nothing but stir up trouble...
Panda Express fired me for emailing around photos of bad stir fry...
I guess I should have labelled them Not Safe for Wok...
Stirlitz was hard at work
It was quite awkward for his female coworkers.
I was driving my wife to work this morning when she suddenly pushed my hand from the gear lever
"What are you doing?" I asked
"Well," she said, "I've kept quiet for too long and I'm sick of you not concentrating on your driving - you do the steering and I'll stir the petrol."
A foreign country's leader was cooking a small pot of prime ribs
While cooking, he stirred the pot. It was a prime mini stir
I heard the ladies really like a good stir fry.
You can tell by the way I use my wok, I'm a woman's man.
Married couple during hard financial times....
A man and his wife are having hard financial times and decide that the husband will pimp the wife out.
The man parks and waits while his wife goes around the corner to stir up business.
At the end of the night, the wife comes back to the car, and her husband asks how much she made.
"$100 and 50 cents," the wife says.
"That's great," replies the husband. "But who paid the 50 cents?"
"All of them."
I needed to buy a new pan to stir fry a large meal
I decided to go for a wok.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the stir kettle jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working stir mixes piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.