Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was having a nap:
"Tell me, Jenny, who created the universe?"
She didn't stir, so Mike, a boy in the chair behind her, quickly took a pencil
and jabbed her in the rear.
"GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted Jenny
And the teacher said, "Very good".
Soon, Jenny was fast asleep again. A while later the teacher asks Jenny:
"Who is our Lord and Saviour?" Once again, Mike pricked her with a pencil.
"JESUS CHRIST!" shouted Jenny.
And the teacher said, "very good."
Soon, a third question comes: "What did Eve say to Adam after she had
her twenty-third child?" And again, Mike jabbed her with the pencil.
Jenny jumped in her seat and shouted:
"IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT
IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"
1. Sugar
2. Honey
3. Flour
4. Egg
5. 1/2lb butter
6. Stir
7. Pour into pan
8. Preheat to 375Β°
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!"
Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class.
One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. "Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"
When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret. The Nun said, "Very good!" and continued teaching her class.
A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" But Mary didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.
"Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said, "Very good," and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.
The Nun asked her a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"
Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!"
in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, 'Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, and altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed it in her rear.
'God Almighty!' shouted Mary and the teacher said, 'Very good,' and Mary slowly fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, 'Who is our Lord and Saviour?' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber.
Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
'Jesus Christ!' yelled Mary and the teacher said, 'Very good,' and Mary slowly fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Marh a third question. 'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her 23rd child?' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time Mary jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'
The teacher fainted.
it caused quite a stir
HOW TO GET RID OF ANTS
My buddy from Atlanta Georgia swears this works.
Go to Home Depot or Walmart and buy a can of black spray paint.
Stir up each ant mound as you go and the area around them with a stick.
The ants will emerge by the hundreds to defend the mounds.
Spray each mound and the surrounding area, making sure you get plenty of paint on the ants as well.
Once the ants realize they live in a black neighborhood, they quit working and start killing each other.
But I stir soup with a spoon.
1. Sugar
2. Honey
3. Flour
4. Egg
5. 1/2 lb of butter
6. Stir
7. Pour into pan
8. Preheat oven to 375Β°
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior," but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue, and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!
It's egg-nog-stick.
For causing such a stir!!
3 friends are bragging about their coffee drinking habits.
1st: I take it dark, thick and black. It's so strong, the spoon stands upright in my cup when I stir it.
2nd: big deal, at least you use a cup. I pour it directly from the kettle into my mouth.
3rd: yeah? We'll I don't even use a kettle. I chew the coffee beans, drink some water and just go sit on the stove for a while.
Little Lucy was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
"Tell me, Lucy, who created the universe?"
When Lucy didn't stir, Little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty! " shouted Lucy and the teacher said,
"Very good," and Lucy fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Lucy, "Who is our Lord and Savior?"
But, Lucy didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
"Jesus Christ!" shouted Lucy and the teacher said, "Very good," and Lucy fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Lucy a third question.
"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?
And again, Johnny Jabbed her with the pin. This time Lucy jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
His first stop is Cork where he decides he wants to kiss the famous Blarney Stone. Unfortunately for him he hasn't a clue where the stone is, so he walks into a pub to ask for directions.
He walks into the pub and yells, "Alright Paddies, I'm visiting from London and I'm looking for someone to take me to kiss this famous Blarney's Stone I've heard so much about."
There's a small stir in the bar as every Irishman scowls at him, until one man stands up. The huge, red-bearded man walks over to the Englishman, towering over him by a full foot.
He says, "Aye, I'll take ye to the Blarney Stone, but there's something you missed."
"And what might that be?" the Englishman replies.
"Ye see, there's two Blarney stones." the Irishman tells him.
The Englishman, slightly peeved at this insight, sighs to him, "Well I don't care, I just want to kiss one."
"Well alright," the Irishman replies as he drops his pants, "I'm Blarney. Kiss one."
Next time you have an anthill problem, here is what you do;
Grab yourself a can of black spray paint and cover the entire anthill in it. Then grab a stick or something of the sort and stir the paint in. Once all the ants realize they now live in a black neighborhood, they stop working and start shooting each other.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were taking part in a survey about tea-drinking habits.
'I always stir my tea with my left hand,' said The Englishman.
'I always stir my tea with my right hand,' said The Scotsman.
How about you?' the Irishman was asked.
'Oh me?' said the Irishman, 'I always use a spoon.'
It makes it easier to scrape into the trash
Hey that's whisky behavior
An ash hoe.
My, what a big vagina! β¦ My, what a big vagina!
The woman became furious and spoke up: I can't believe I heard you say something so unprofessionalβnot just once, twice!
I'm very sorry and I apologize the doctor said, But in my defense I only said it once ^once ^^once ^^^once β¦
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher asked her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Mary. The teacher said, "Very good," and little Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?"
But, Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary.
The teacher said, "Very good," and little Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
I was making stir fry and opened a bag of peas. One pea gets lose and rolls off the counter. It was like slow motion as I watched it hit floor and roll under the stove. I turned to my wife who also witnessed the incident and said: "We have an escape pea." ...got a laugh
To dissolve the sugar.
(Courtesy of my dad)
An Ewok
Go to Home Depot or Wall-mart and buy a can of black spray paint. Any brand works great.
Stir up each ant mound as you go and the area around them with a stick.
The ants will emerge by the hundreds to defend the mounds. Spray each mound and the surrounding area, making sure you get plenty of paint on the ants as well.
Once the ants realize they live in a black neighborhood, they quit working and start killing each other.
It went into the kitchen and caused a stir.
Cock of the wok.
He told me to "wok this way."
They could call it Stir Wars.
"Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"
The Teacher fainted.ο»Ώ
I would use a spoon.
Next time I'm just going to stir it with a straw like everybody else
You add ices.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Stir? Well, here are the best Stir dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Stir pick up lines to share with friends.