Stir Jokes

56 stir jokes and hilarious stir puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about stir that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article gives readers a taste of funny jokes about all things related to stirring, from stir-fry to stirring the pot. Check out some of the funniest jokes about stirring, shaking, blending, and more. Get ready to have a good chuckle and add a bit of humor to your day.

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Funniest Stir Short Jokes

Short stir jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The stir humour may include short shaken jokes also.

  1. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... I really should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors.
  2. Sir Roger Moore, prominent James bond actor has passed away His family say that they are shaken.... but not stirred
  3. My wife gave out to me this morning, because our fridge was full of stir fry. Oh god I must have being sleep wokking again.
  4. the butter churner asked the milk "whats wrong..." the milk responded "im just a bit stirred up but ill be butter in a while"
  5. Did you hear about how James Bond slept through an earthquake? He was shaken, not stirred.
  6. What's the difference between a chef and a homosexual? One stirs today's food and the other stirs yesterday's.
  7. I heard the ladies really like a good stir fry. You can tell by the way I use my wok, I'm a woman's man.
  8. Protip: If you stir some coconut oil into your kale It makes it easier to scrape into the trash
  9. What do you say when a stirring utensil is doing something unsafe? Hey that's whisky behavior
  10. Talk about a type-cast... Why did James Bond hire a bartender with Parkinson's?
    ... Every drink was shaken, not stirred.

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Stir One Liners

Which stir one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with stir? I can suggest the ones about whisk and stew.

  1. What do you call a zombie making stir-fry? Dead man woking
  2. Whoever invented the teaspoon caused quite a stir.
  3. did you ever hear the one about the racist teaspoon? it caused quite a stir
  4. My friend stirs soup with his left hand. But I stir soup with a spoon.
  5. What do you call a zombie that cooks stir-frys ? Dead Man Wok-ing ...
  6. Why was the teaspoon arrested? For causing such a stir!!
  7. If you leave a spoon alone in a drink for too long It gets stir crazy
  8. Just fought the James Bond. I was really shaken. But not stirred.
  9. How does Pac-Man make a stir-fry? With a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok...
  10. My ex's brain is like a blender It's not always on, but when it is it's stirring up sh*t.
  11. Which national holiday is also an online cooking assistant? e-stir
  12. I needed to buy a new pan to stir fry a large meal I decided to go for a wok.
  13. What was shaken and is now stirred? Haiti.
  14. A muslim opens a stir-fry restaurant in Hawaï. He called it "Aloha-Wok-bar".
  15. Lou Reed really doesn't like spicy stir-fries. He always takes his wok on the mild side.

Stir Fry Jokes

Here is a list of funny stir fry jokes and even better stir fry puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Panda Express fired me for emailing around photos of bad stir fry... I guess I should have labelled them Not Safe for Wok...
  • Have I told you about the time I met Steven Tyler and he taught me how to cook stir fry? He told me to "wok this way."
  • My friend told me the handle on my stir-fry pan needed to be tightened. Then he carried it home and fixed it. He didn't just talk the torque, he walked the wok.
  • I just witnessed Elvis cooking stir fry... First time I've ever seen a dead man wok-ing.
  • Why don't lazy people like cooking a stir-fry? Because they have to do a lot of wok-ing
  • I cant find my large stir fry pan It's like it just gets up and Woks away
  • The stir fry chef had to make a difficult decision. He was between a wok and a hot plate.
  • What do you call a trapped fly in a frying pan of stir fry? Your mum
  • I had some stir-fry delivered. I don't really like liver.
  • What dish do goblins like best? Mon-stir fry!

Stir The Pot Jokes

Here is a list of funny stir the pot jokes and even better stir the pot puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A foreign country's leader was cooking a small p**... of prime ribs While cooking, he stirred the p**.... It was a prime mini stir
  • I was going to tell a joke about w**.... But I didn't want to stir the p**....
Stir joke, I was going to tell a joke about w**....

Stir joke, I was going to tell a joke about w**....

Uplifting Stir Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about stir you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean strike jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make stir pranks.

I found stir fry all over my bed this morning

I must have been sleep **wok**ing again

Using a cinnamon stick to stir your eggnog isn't a religious practice.

It's egg-n**...-stick.

Married couple during hard financial times....

A man and his wife are having hard financial times and decide that the husband will p**... the wife out.
The man parks and waits while his wife goes around the corner to stir up business.
At the end of the night, the wife comes back to the car, and her husband asks how much she made.
"$100 and 50 cents," the wife says.
"That's great," replies the husband. "But who paid the 50 cents?"
"All of them."

Coffee drinking trio

3 friends are bragging about their coffee drinking habits.
1st: I take it dark, thick and black. It's so strong, the spoon stands upright in my cup when I stir it.
2nd: big deal, at least you use a cup. I pour it directly from the kettle into my mouth.
3rd: yeah? We'll I don't even use a kettle. I chew the coffee beans, drink some water and just go sit on the stove for a while.

The Tea Survey

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were taking part in a survey about tea-drinking habits.
'I always stir my tea with my left hand,' said The Englishman.
'I always stir my tea with my right hand,' said The Scotsman.
How about you?' the Irishman was asked.
'Oh me?' said the Irishman, 'I always use a spoon.'

How to deal with an anthill

Next time you have an anthill problem, here is what you do;
Grab yourself a can of black spray paint and cover the entire anthill in it. Then grab a stick or something of the sort and stir the paint in. Once all the ants realize they now live in a black neighborhood, they stop working and start shooting each other.

What do you call a h**... that you use to stir a fire.

An ash h**....

While cooking dinner this happened.

I was making stir fry and opened a bag of peas. One pea gets lose and rolls off the counter. It was like slow motion as I watched it hit floor and roll under the stove. I turned to my wife who also witnessed the incident and said: "We have an escape pea." a laugh

I was driving my wife to work this morning when she suddenly pushed my hand from the gear lever

"What are you doing?" I asked
"Well," she said, "I've kept quiet for too long and I'm sick of you not concentrating on your driving - you do the steering and I'll stir the petrol."

What do the inhabitants of Endor use to cook their stir frys?

An Ewok

Why do Chinese people stir their tea clockwise while the Japanese stir it anticlockwise?

To dissolve the sugar.
(Courtesy of my dad)

Stirlitz was hard at work

It was quite awkward for his female coworkers.

Did you hear about the troublesome teaspoon?

It went into the kitchen and caused a stir.

How to get rid of ants.

Go to Home Depot or Wall-mart and buy a can of black spray paint. Any brand works great.
Stir up each ant mound as you go and the area around them with a stick.
The ants will emerge by the hundreds to defend the mounds. Spray each mound and the surrounding area, making sure you get plenty of paint on the ants as well.

Once the ants realize they live in a black neighborhood, they quit working and start killing each other.

A man buys a mixer

A man bought a kitchen mixer on sale from the thrift shop, every time he used it, the batter would splatter, but it was too late by the time he realized it did nothing but stir up trouble...

Stir joke, A man buys a mixer