The Best 44 Sting Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Sting jokes. There are some sting prick jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sting wasp sting puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Sting Jokes and Puns
Golf lessons
A young woman has been taking golf lessons. She has just started playing her first round of golf when she suffers a bee sting. The pain is so intense she decides to return to the clubhouse.
Her golf pro sees her come into the clubhouse and asks, "why are you back so early? What's wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee"
"where?" he asks.
"between the first and second hole," she replies.
He nods knowingly and says, "apparently your stance is too wide."
Did you hear about when Sting got a new mobile phone?
He sent out an SMS to the world.
A woman returned home from a round of golf.
Her husband asked how it went. She replied, "Well, OK, but I got stung by a bee." He responded, "Where did it sting you?" She said, "Between the first and second hole," whereupon he exclaimed, "I told you your stance was too wide!"
The MI5 are watching every move I make and breath I take...
It seems it's a sting operation
Did you hear? Sting was kidnapped!
The Police still have no lead.
Sting has launched his own range of aromatherapy oils.
They're a massage in a bottle
A woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so bad that she ran to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, What's wrong?
I was stung by a bee! she said. Where? he asked. Between the first and second hole. she replied. He nodded and said, Your stance is far too wide.
What did Sting get in Amsterdam?
A massage in a brothel
What does a prostitute have in common with Sting?
They both stop sucking when The Police are around.
Muhammad Ali in 1974: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee
Floyd Mayweather in 2015: Run like a chicken, hug like a bear
While out golfing, a woman gets stung by a bee.
She goes into the clubhouse, and says to the manager, "I think you may have a bee problem, I just got stung!". The manager replies, "Where did the bee sting you, ma'am?". "Between hole 1 and 2" she told him. The manager looks at her and says, "Well ma'am, I would recommend a close stance."
You can explore sting stingray reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sting bee dad jokes. There are also sting puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Don't be stingy when it comes to getting a circumcision.
I got one cheap and it was a total rip-off.
Did you hear about the Sting concert in Compton that barely anybody went to?
I guess a lot of black people don't like The Police
A young woman had been taking golf lessons all week long.
She'd just begun her first game of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense, she couldn't continue her game. She decided to go back to the clubhouse and get some medical attention.
Her golf Pro saw her enter the clubhouse and asked,
"Why are you back so soon?" What's wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee," she answered.
"Where?," he asked.
"Between the first and second holes," she replied.
He nodded his head knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."
TIL that although Sting has been missing for a week...
The Police still have no lead
Words that start with "S" suck.
Girl: Tom, I've come to realize something about the letter s.
Boy: Tell me.
Girl: Words that start with s suck.
Boy: What do you mean?
Girl: Well, snakes suck. So does a sting, and so does getting stabbed.
Boy: Well, Sally, if thats the case I'd like to have you over tonight for dinner.
Lady golfer
A lady comes up to the clubhouse after playing playing a few holes and she is fuming
She says
"A bee stung me"
The man at the desk replies
"where did the bee sting you
The lady replies
"Between hole 1 and 2"
The man at the desk says
"That's your problem, your stance is too wide"
Did anyone hear that Sting went missing?
Right now The Police have no leads.
Stop me if you've heard this one...
A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, You are back early, what's wrong? I was stung by a bee! she said. Where? he asked. Between the first and second hole. she replied. He nodded and said, Your stance is far too wide.
My brother is in the ER right now because of a bee sting that swelled his head,
Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with a shovel.
If it stings when you wee
Urine trouble
Taking a lesson because her golf game had been going so badly, a woman had just started her first round when she was stung by a bee.
Distraught and rather angry and disheartened besides, she went back into the clubhouse and told the golf pro about the incident.
"Where did it sting you?" he asked.
"Between the first and second hole," she replied.
The pro shook his head and quickly exclaimed: "That's your problem right there. You have your feet too far apart.
Why did the stingray have a chat with the scuba diver?
He wanted to have a manta-man talk
(I'm so sorry)
Lady goes to her doctor...
Lady goes to her doctor and says I got stung by a bee while golfing!
Doc says were did it sting you?
Lady says between the 1st and 2nd holes.
Docs says wow you must have wide stance..
What did the stingy schizophrenic finally come to realize after years of therapy?
That Sharon is Karen...
I like my women like I like my microwave.
Cold on the outside, warm on the inside, and she'll kill any baby I put inside her.
A woman is out playing golf, when she is stung by a bee.
Started to not feel well, she heads to the emergency room. A doctor comes in to examine her.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Woman: I was, playing golf when I was stung by a bee.
Doctor: Where exactly did it sting you?
Woman: In between the 1st and 2nd hole.
Doctor: My god lady, you must have an extremely wide stance.
How many Police does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. Did you think Sting actually changes lightbulbs?
I just don't understand why black people don't like the police
They have tons of great songs and Sting is a great singer
People hate the police so much these days...
...that even Sting has stopped performing "Every Breath You Take."
Why doesn't Sting like BLM?
They want to defund the Police
I got hurt while performing a surgery on a bee.
It was a sting operation.
Sting was kidnapped last night...
The Police are looking for a lead.
Steve and his mother were way behind on their car payments
The repo man had been after them for a while but hadn't successfully gotten the car yet. One day Steve had an idea for a "sting" operation to solve the problem once and for all. Before he left he shouted to his mom that he was taking the car, but she was in the bathroom and couldn't make out what he said.
"What are you taking?" she asked.
"Car, ma, for repo sting!"
Bee sting
A husband and wife are out playing golf. At the turn, they decide to go in for a drink and bag of chips. The golf pro looks at them and asks, how'd you hit 'em? The woman replies, good, but I got stung by a bee between the first and second hole.
The pro looks at her and says, then your stance is too wide.
Two cavemen are waiting at the doctor's office
The first says, "Me name Phil. Me get bee sting. Why you here?"
The second one, covered in blood, smiles and says, "Me name Mike. Me get hit by boulder during rock slide."
The first says, "That must hurt! Why you look so happy?"
The second says, "Me celebrating. It's Mike Ache Day!"
A lady goes to the store to get a hair trimmer for her dog
..as she's browsing a clerk comes along and says "If you're using it on you're underarms, don't spray on deodorant for a few hours it will sting a lot." She says "No it's not for my underarms."
The clerk says "Well if you're doing your legs, don't wear pantyhose for a day, it can irritate your skin." She says "No it's not for my legs... if you must know, it's for my Schnauzer"
The clerk says "Ah, I see, in that case don't ride a bicycle for a week."
Stung
A woman golfer suffers a nasty bee sting and leaves the course to go see her doctor about it. "What happened?" asked the doctor. "I got stung between the first and second hole," replied the lady golfer.
The doctor replied, "You must have an awfully wide stance!"
I don't have a Police record,
but I do have a Sting CD.
Why did Republicans get mad when Sting got a facelift?
Because they hate Police reform.
Sting: Every breath you take, I'll be watching you
Woman: Mr Sting, if you don't stop stalking me, I'm going to call the police.
Sting: I am the Police.
A guy tried to sell me illegal bees to make free honey.
I said no because I knew it was a sting operation.
Watching Encanto and my son drops this one
Me: Why can't Mirabel be in the photo her dad is and he's normal?
My son: He is special. His gift is being a Beasting Dad
Me: Huh?
My son: Get it cuz he gets stung by bees a lot? Bee Sting Dad??
Breaking News: Legal alien lived a lavish lifestyle for years by impersonating music icon Sting.
Today he finally turned himself into the police.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sting scorpion jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working sting bee sting piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.